Death. What a shitty thing, but it's helpful for my situation. Still, a shame to witness it, as useful as it is was his and my growth. I. Hate. It.
I hate the part where the eyes slowly turn cold and without life. Hate the pain that comes with it.
I'm afraid that by killing, I'll change, turn colder, more ruthless. What to do? What should I do to stop change? There's nothing I can think of that can help me retain my innocence. I guess as the saying goes, ignorance IS bliss. But sadly, I can't afford to be ignorant.
I'm fated to be a hero, but I don't want that. The only way to change fate is to add impossibilities, still, I will change, that doesn't help my problem, but at least I'll be able to retain my sense of freedom, and I won't have to go through this scripted story with these cliches, I want to be free. No. I'll be free.
I have an idea, but I'll have to convince Oscar.
What if I just leave? Maybe I won't be able to leave the planet, but what if I leave the academy? I believe that those bastards who watch for entertainment won't like that I'm going off-script, and they'll change the story to return to the script. There are two ways that I can think of to stop them from interfering. First, make a bet, their pride won't allow them to go back on their words. Second, sacrifice someone or something to create an artificial seal, but that may interfere with the natural laws. The second choice has the most likelihood of success, but. The third and impossible choice is to connect two universes, which should preoccupy them and for me to change my fate. Sadly that's impossible without the help of immense power.
Hmmm.
What about the Tower of Trials, this universe where magic and gods exist, there should be a Tower of Trials kind of thing, it should exist or something similar at least, I mean there are gods who invaded this earth and caused catastrophes and invited a being of another universe for mere entertainment, why can't there be a god or gods who want to see people willingly suffer, for entertainment. That's great, but how do I invite/get invited to the tower? Hmmm? No Idea. well, I'll leave that for later, I still have to deal with the aftermath.
***
It's been 9 hours since I decided to change my fate 11 hours since the incident, most have left the academy in hospital vehicles, and only some stayed because they didn't know what to do. I'm the same, I've been looking at the dead bodies of my classmates and the intruders, now covered up, in particular, the one I killed. I didn't ask for forgiveness or anything similar, I didn't do anything. I just stared.
"Sigh... I should go eat something" I was hungry as I hadn't eaten anything all day, I went to the cafeteria where some were eating although it was almost dark, it was quiet, no one was talking everyone ate quietly, and most just stared of to the distance, thinking about something.
I was like everybody else I just got my food and ate quietly, nobody bothered me everybody was in a world of their own.
After that, all students got 3 days of break to grieve and take a break, Oscar still didn't come out and stayed in the mind space for quite a while. Later I started getting angry that he wasn't coming out and facing reality, and I knew what those gods wanted me to do, they wanted me to give a little pep talk to Oscar so he would, have "Character development" but as a reader who read so many stories, from my point of view it would seem cliche, and would probably ruin the moment, so instead of doing what they wanted me too, I decided to do nothing.
I knew he needed help, as he was weak, and had a sense of guilt for what happened, he probably blamed himself for what happened, but I didn't care, I was spiteful and wanted some kind of revenge, I didn't care who I hurt, I just wanted to let it out.
I went to the training hall and just hit a sandbag with my strength, some did the same others were swinging swords or stabbing spears, and most just wanted to get their anger out, and I understood it perfectly.
Soon I was called to an interview to tell answer a couple of questions about the incident.
"Hello, Oscar," One of the detectives, or whoever they were introduced himself.
"..." I didn't say hello back or anything else, I just nodded.
"Do you mind if we ask a couple of questions?" the female asked.
"I do. But not like you guys care, do you?" I was a bastard just because I could, I mean why not? Not like I'll be meeting them again.
"We do," The male detective retorted.
"No, you don't. I see it in your eyes you're tired and don't give a damn shit about me, all you want to do is get it over with, I'll be frank with you it's the same damn situation for me, I just want to get it over it and just be alone, so let's do each other a favor and begin," He stared at me, for a bit and nodded, he didn't want to continue this stupid conversation.
And they did, they asked me questions about the incident and I answered them truthfully, as I guessed that one of them had a lie-detecting skill or something like that, they soon asked all the questions they wanted to and left.
When I left I noticed that many students were still hitting, swinging, and stabbing, they hadn't stopped, and I was gone for one and a half hours. They truly had some spectacular stamina, but I didn't care and went to the shooting range and shot at the targets. Every time I, shot I felt a bit of my anger subsiding.
I closed my eyes and remembered how it felt, it was unreal when I took over, everything seemed fake, not that it really was, it felt like I refused to believe the situation, and thought of it as a dream, a highly realistic one. After everything was over I saw the lifeless bodies. Then it hit me how real everything was...
Just remembering that got me angry. I threw the gun and started bashing the table until I was stopped, I went out, I went home...
After that nothing much happened I just went home and listened to music, well that's what I thought until something unexpected happened, and Oscar called me out. I didn't think that would happen so soon I expected him to take at least two more days to get over it, but I was a bit happier that he got over it himself, I knew that he was still hurting, but unlike then this time I would actually help him. I needed somebody who understood me, I needed some one to talk to. So I went to the Mind Domain.