2 - Is This Heaven or Hell?
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Someone was shouting.
It was the angry kind of shouting.
"--drigal!"
"--Madrigal!"
"Wake up, Madrigal!"
What Bekka saw the moment she opened her eyes was an old woman with a face so wrinkled, a piece of crumpled paper would have been smoother.
She blinked.
When was the last time she was able to see clearly without her glasses on?
'Whoa, that face! That one of a kind face! A kind of face impossible to forget! Those uneven tan lines, those creases, I can even see age spots and veins under her skin…Wait, isn't this my old grade school teacher? Mrs. Something… What is her name again? She should have died back when I was in high school. Oh, that means I'm dead too. But I don't think we are close enough for her to be the one assigned to be fetching my soul?'
"Hey, Madrigal!" she shouted angrily. The teacher whose name I could not recall continued to complain, her arms akimbo on her waist that seemed to be as wide as a door. "If you want to sleep, then go home to sleep! Your mother didn't enroll you in this school to sleep, did she? Oh poor Mimi, for such a hardworking woman to have such a lazy daughter—"
Bekka took that chance to look around. She seemed to be inside a classroom, and she's sitting on one of those chairs with a built-in foldable desk. She saw small hands on top of the desk. Small but dirty hands. Hands of a child who liked to play with paint.
All of a sudden, her hands touched her face, and she realized she's not wearing eyeglasses.
For as long as Bekka could remember, the world had been a blurry mishmash of colors every time she opened her eyes in the morning. Her hand would then go on auto-pilot mode. It would clumsily grope around towards the side table beside her bed or the empty space near her pillow or sometimes on the floor, just in case it fell the night before. When she was in her late twenties, she had a laser surgery in the eye, but her eyesight still continued to deteriorate afterwards, and she had to wear either glasses or contacts during the war.
But today, the world was clear, unbelievably clear. Everything was vivid—from the peeling brown paint of the ceiling, to the sunlight seeping through the white curtains, and to the pair of small hands in front of her face. Inside the classroom resembling the place where she studied more than two decades ago, only two people were inside—Bekka and the old female teacher whose name she really could not recall.
However, on top of the old woman's head, Bekka could see words floating like strokes of light.
[Warm Nurturer]
It made Bekka crack a smile. The old woman standing in front of her had a one-of-a-kind face, and many students, especially the new ones, feared her fierce appearance and war cry-like voice. But many of the older students and the staff of the small public school knew that of all the teachers working in their village, that old woman was the one with the softest heart. She cared for her students a lot, that she even paid special attention to those who had complicated family situations like hers.
The teacher seemed to have some sort of misunderstanding as she studied the dazed look of the child before her. "All right, all right, I'll stop nagging. Things must be bad at home for you, but next time, try not to sleep during my classes, hmm? If you come early to school, I will let you borrow the couch in the faculty office and you can sleep there until your classes start."
"Teacher."
Bekka flinched when she heard her own voice. She kind of expected it, but it seemed like she really turned back to her body back when she was in grade school. Based on her understanding, she ought to be in Grade 1, meaning her body was about six and a half years old.
"Yes, Madrigal?"
"Are we in heaven?"
"Huh? What—"
"Are we in heaven?"
"Are you still half-asleep, child?"
"I don't think I should be in heaven, though?"
Bekka tilted her head as she studied herself. She was wearing a slightly dirty light blue school uniform and a pair of black shoes with white socks that had frills. Her body seemed skinnier and darker than what she remembered, but then again, as a child growing up within a coastal village, she always played outside under the sun.
"I ruined everything, and many people died because of what I did. But this looks too, I dunno, peaceful? Calm? This can't be hell unless..."
Unless 'hell' meant the repetition of the day she regretted the most.
Her eyes suddenly widened. "T-Teacher, what's the date today? What's the time? Tell me! What's the date?!"
"Huh?" the old woman was visibly flustered. "It's July 3. Why—"
Bekka then grabbed the hand of the old woman and saw the time on her wristwatch. 12:03 pm. Lunchbreak. That was why she was alone with the teacher, because her classmates had left towards the canteen to eat their midday meals.
Only then did Bekka remember the events of that day. July 3, 200x. She must have slept through the teacher's entire class, but the woman pitied her and didn't wake her up until the class bell rang.
On the original timeline, the female teacher would accompany her to the canteen, and she would even treat her with ice cream. Bekka would then go about her day normally, only to hear of the devastating news from her maternal grandparents after they fetched her from school in the afternoon.
'If I leave now, I will make it.'
"Madrigal, where are you going?" the old woman asked when the six-year-old Bekka sprinted out of the classroom without saying anything. She did not even bring anything, not her bag nor her books, but she was heading towards the gate of the school. The old woman was horrified when she realized what was happening.
"Y-You… you can't leave the school campus during class hours! Come back here, Madrigal! Guards, anyone! Stop that student!"
Hearing the teacher's shout, adults were chasing her—the maintenance staff, a couple of male teachers and the only guard of the school—but Bekka deftly dodged them and was already at the school gates…and it just happened that a military cargo truck was passing outside. Because it was a school zone, the speed of the truck was slower than normal, but it was still a moving vehicle that could kill a child if she were to be hit.
"No!" she could hear the yells of the school staff behind her.
Without hesitation, Bekka jumped towards the road. Of course, she didn't jump in front of the military cargo truck to commit suicide. She timed it so that she would not be noticed by the driver as she grabbed the handrail on the back and nimbly flipped her tiny body inside the open space behind.
Her tiny body was covered in sweat as she tried to catch her breath. Luckily, the driver didn't notice her stunt.
Her thoughts raced. Since this cargo truck was passing by this street, it meant that it would be heading back to the military camp on the other side of the island. What would take Bekka an hour of walking would be reduced to several minutes because of the free ride.
'I will make it in time.'
However, tears were welling in her eyes.
Harmony Madrigal. July 3, 200x. Victim of a car accident.
Arrival at the municipal hospital: 11:43 am.
Reported Time of Death: 1:15 pm.
"I'm going to make sure I will get to see you…at least for the last time…Mom."