The funeral was very small, a setting small enough for my father and I. He had spent money to have an open casket for my mother at least. My brother couldn't be salvaged no matter how much he spent. I was thankful for that. At least my brother, his face was so unrecognizable that I still remembered him as he was. But not my mother.
I have been having serious nightmares since that night. I was also having trouble looking people in the eye now. I couldn't hold conversations like normal anymore and I started shivering terribly when I tried looking at peoples faces. It felt exhausting, to have to look at peoples faces, having to memorize someone's face if they were just going to end up like my mother. It felt like there was no point.
My father thought that seeing my mother's face, changed back somewhat to what it was before the incident would help me. All it did was make me feel something awful. I felt an urge to throw up when I saw her face again, but there was something else as well.
I felt an itch, a need. A compulsion so strong I thought I would rush up to the coffin the moment my father stepped away from it. But I couldn't. For my father, who also lost her, I couldn't do what I wanted to. I needed to control myself.
Thinking about how we were leaving tomorrow made the itch stronger. Knowing I wouldn't be able to return here easily. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to correct what needed to be fixed, it made me feel unbearably uncomfortable.
I tried not to think about it. I hoped the task my father had created for us would take my mind off the face of the stranger in the coffin.
—-
This disgusting waste of a woman burped and spit all over me. I wiped her spittle off my face, the noxious smell of alcohol mixed with some other food assaulted my nose, but I couldn't waver with just this. The compulsion forced me to maintain the expression. Whatever it took to correct the mistake. I simply needed an opportunity.
These two people were definitely the same, appearance wise. I could never forget a face I memorized, especially not one I had altered myself.
"It's nothing to worry about," Unfortunately, I needed to be certain they were the same people on the inside as well. I made the mistake once on a twin and I paid for it in an experience I could never forget, so I had to be sure, "miss?"
"Jesse." The same name, the same thick Texan accent. I needed to hide my face because I was grinning too hard. I grabbed her hand and kissed it, long enough to fix my expression again. In a way I was thankful to them.
"Wonderful to meet you, Miss Jesse." I hadn't experienced the thrill of relieving the itch in a while.
"Alright." The man I hoped was her brother, separated us. "That's enough now. Let's get this over with." I could see his obviously jealous look. It's funny, in my world their relationship was completely flipped.
"R-right. Let me go get changed. Jeremy, you mind sticking around out here?" It has to be them, even the brother has the same name. Remembering how I dealt with these two in my world, I formulated the path towards my relief of the urge.
"Huh? But I always help y-" It was funny watching the twisted dynamic of this pair.
"Stay out here Jeremy." She looked at him a little more fiercely before following someone to her room. I saw her look towards me before turning away again, she swayed her hips seductively as she walked. He shut his mouth and glanced at me before going to sit alone somewhere. He played the part of the neglected girlfriend well. I watched her leave when Kingsley whispered at me.
"What are you doing?" She looked at me suspiciously.
"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything." I went and sat down again.
"You shouldn't be playing around with them. There's some bad rumors going on about those two."
"Really? Like what?" I wonder if they're up to the same things they were in my world.
"Bad things," she leaned in closer to me, "like drug trafficking." It's the same alright.
"That's even better." They're the same people.
"How is that better?" I was looking towards Jeremy when Kingsley turned me to face her. "Listen to me, they are bad news. We shouldn't get involved with them."
"What do you mean we shouldn't get involved with them?"
"I have to move around with you. It's my job to keep you safe. That's why I'm telling you not to hang around them." That's right. Kingsley is following me around everywhere. I'll have to ditch her somewhere.
"Am I supposed to follow your orders or something?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Then stay out of it." Kingsley shut her mouth and a neutral expression took over her face. She stared at me for a while before speaking again.
"Understood." She sat down. I'll have figure it out later.
When Jesse finally exited the room I turned to see her in a tight fitting one piece dress, similar to what the other girl with the entourage was wearing. Looking at her I could tell she was older than what I remembered from my world. When I first met the siblings I was only seventeen, that was eight years ago. They must be close to thirty now.
In my world Jeremy was the talent, not his sister, though he was a lot less famous than Jesse is in this world. Then again, if he spent eight years as an actor he might have gotten fairly famous as well. Jesse was his manager and, like Jeremy in this world, was in love with her sibling. I don't think I ever confirmed whether they had done it or not but I knew they were abnormally close. Though the adoration was probably skewed more to one side.
I already knew how to work them against one another. Jesse just needed an excuse, such as a very willing suitor that wasn't her brother. Granted, it wasn't myself doing the seducing back then, but I think I can manage one white trash diva.
"You ready?" She came up to me coquettishly. Despite needing to calm the urge, I couldn't help thinking this woman wasn't that bad to look at, but every time I blinked, every time I saw what she was supposed to look like, I calmed down.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
The premise of the job today was apparently changed when the siblings walked in. Seems the guys up top thought that the duo would cancel at the last minute or something so they set up the room for me to shoot some commercials with the other girl. When the siblings did show up, we ended up taking photos for the promotional campaign instead. The shoot itself was easy. All I did was stand there.
"Yes, if you could lift your leg slightly…perfect." The girls were the ones who got in poses around me. Both of them were pushing their bodies on me and, even though I was trying to make Jesse interested, it was the other girl who was the one rubbing herself on me the most. "Miss Jesse, lean in close like you're about to…perfect, yes."
All I heard was the continuous sound of the camera flashing.
"Should I be doing anything?" I had stood still for a while so was wondering.
"You don't need to do anything Mister Donovan, yes, just…stand…right…there." The photographer moved around us with me in the middle doing nothing.
I wonder if most guys just stood still for photos, maybe even male models did the job this way. I guess they didn't need much appeal since guys are considered god's gift in this world. I, though, was bored.
"I'm going to do some poses." The photographer stopped for a moment before getting on one knee and waiting. Seeing how the poses were pretty much just the girls rubbing themselves on me, I channeled my inner porn star and started provocative poses with them in my arms.
For the first pose, I grabbed Jesse's chin and moved close to her face while my other arm was around her waist. I could hear the camera shutter going off quickly. After a bit, I moved and pulled both women into an embrace while they looked up at me.
"Incredible! More Mister Donovan, more!" I just kept using poses I remembered from all those 'sexy couples' stock photos. Noticing the way the women were panting, I started to wonder if this is appropriate for a government job.
"This…is…enough." I was doing a pose when I heard the photographer's voice.
"We're done?" I looked at her, who appeared exhausted. She was panting heavily and her clothes were soaked with sweat. I didn't know photography was so physically demanding.
"Yes." I was trying to let go of the girls at this point, but they kept clinging to me. I looked down, both of them were just as sweaty as the photographer, their arms wrapped around mine. I looked at Kingsley and although she was supposed to be mad, her face was a little flushed too. When she noticed my stare she woke from her stupor.
"Ladies, that's enough." When Kingsley finally regained herself she shook the girls off me. I looked at Jeremy. He was looking at his sister with a betrayed look on his face.
"I think that with this we should have enough to use for the promotional posters." I imagined myself in the 'Uncle Sam' pose promoting people to jack off.
"Mister Donovan, if you're free after this, maybe you'd like to hang out in my establishment?" Jesse spoke. Her eyes were scanning my face for a reaction.
"Actually, Donovan Knoys has-"
"Sure." I interrupted Kingsley and agreed. "I'll go."
"Great."
"I'll go too!" The other girl spoke up as well.
"I don't think my establishment is quite up to your standards."
"I want to go too." The other girl started typing on her phone. "Can't I?" I could see Jesse flinch slightly after looking at her phone as well.
"…Fine." Female politics I guess.
"Hehe." I checked the time while they spoke and it was almost eight pm. Guess we were working for a decent amount of time.
"So where're we going?"
I followed Jesse to a car, really a limousine, that had enough space to fit the siblings, Kingsley and I, as well as the other girl who, even still, managed to fit most of her entourage. I tried talking in the car but the women, excluding Kingsley, kept the conversation going by themselves. When we finally got out, Jesse introduced her 'establishment' to the group.
"Welcome to The Whiskey Barrel." In front of me was a club. The theme of which was definitely 'Texas', but the environment itself wasn't too bad to look at. When the doors opened all of us were bombarded by loud music, a rap song that slowly transitioned to western and then back again. We walked in, guided by Jesse. She led us towards a booth near the back, the words VIP engraved on the small arch above the stairs leading towards it. When I sat down I saw Jesse turning around when the entourage tried to enter after us.
"You folk can find your own table, this one's for the talent." They stood still for a moment before the other girl spoke.
"You guys find a table and get some drinks. I'll pay for it later." With her words they disappeared into the crowd below.
Looking down, I could see a large open floor surrounded by a railing, inside of which several women were dancing. Along the sides there were tables and booths, while the entire right wall was a bar where several bartenders served the drinks. The patrons were mostly women but I did see a few men walking around surrounded on all sides by women. The lights were dim and only the occasional flash of strobe lights gave me a decent view of the place.
"So what do y'all think?" She looked around the group of us that had finally sat down but she was looking mostly at me.
"It's a fun place." I looked around the large room, the various drinks, the loud music, the crowded venue, and the dark environment. "There's a lot I can do here." This place was perfect. I could correct at least one of them here.
"It's got a nice rustic charm to it." I saw Jesse frown for a second.
"How about some drinks?" I saw her glance at the other girl for a second and sneer. "But wait, aren't you a little young?"
"I-I'm old enough in my country!"
"Here in the United Lands the drinking age is twenty-one though. I think you're a year short."
"Wha-"
"You're still too young, just get some juice." Kingsley spoke sternly towards the other girl.
"Hmph." Jesse was snickering until she noticed the gloomy appearance of Jeremy. She whispered something to Jeremy who I watched frown visibly. I watched their whispering turn into low growls before Jeremy stood up.
"Fine!" He walked towards the bar.
"He's gunna get us some drinks." Jesse looked a little apologetic before returning to normal. "So Donovan."
"Don's fine"
"Don, I overheard you're from New York, what brings you to Texas? Not much going on down here this time of year."
"I was raised here actually, and thought it might be nice to move back."
"Why Houston though? There's plenty of better cities." The other girl chimed in.
"Houston was my home for a long time." I heard Jeremy yell and turned to see him scream at one of the bartenders before storming off towards a door near the bar. Noticing the direction I was staring at Jesse spoke again.
"He's just got some work to do in the office, don't mind him." She put her hand on my leg and scooched closer. "Tell me more about why you came back."
"I only stayed in New York for a little while, about a year. I planned on coming back only recently though."
"What made you decide?"
"The reason I had for staying in New York just disappeared one day."
"…I see. I'm sorry to hear that." On cue, the drinks arrived. "Don't worry about the bill, it's on the house. And here's your juice." She made a show of sliding the juice across the table towards the other girl.
"Thanks so much, Jesse."
With that we began drinking. Shots lined the table constantly, but since the only two people drinking were Jesse and myself, we were the ones obligated to finish them. The night waned on and I could see Jesse was starting to lose control of herself or at least pretending too. I made a show of myself as well, pretending to be more drunk than I was. The further the night dragged on, the more Jesse started feeling me up, constantly yanking herself closer to my body or accidentally leaning her chest on my arm. Kingsley was made to be our drink carrier and the other girl left to hang around her entourage after a while.
It wasn't until Jesse thought I had taken enough drinks that she finally moved. While Kingsley was getting more shots I noticed Jesse slip something into one of the drinks we still had on the table. She moved with practiced motions, she must have done this a lot. She tried to move the small vial that held what I assumed was liquid ecstasy, back in her purse. Seeing her turned away I quickly switched the drinks.
"Another shot?" When she turned around she asked me immediately, probably wary of Kingsley's return.
"You pour it for me." I leaned my head back and let her pour the drink for me once I was sure it was the one that wasn't spiked. When she finished she looked somewhat relieved. I grabbed the spiked shot and held it in front of her. "My turn." I poured the drink into her mouth, careful to make sure she had taken it. When she raised her head again I leaned in close to her ear.
"You have a room here somewhere?" I needed to get her alone before the effects started taking hold. I looked down at her. Her flushed face, her outfit that barely concealed her chest and her breath that seemed to heat up the more I stared at her.
"Of course." She staggered up excitedly and began moving while I followed her. Kingsley, having just arrived with another tray of drinks, saw us moving and began following at a distance. I could hear the music that had only gotten louder as the night went on beating against the floor beneath me as we walked. The excitement I felt moved almost in tandem with the music.
We walked through the same door Jeremy had passed earlier. The hallway behind the door was divided into the left passage Jesse was leading me toward, and the right, presumably the offices, she mentioned earlier. I was about to walk into the room she led me to when Kingsley tapped my shoulder.
"Are you sure about this?" I wasn't just sure. The pain as I kept looking into their faces was beating my sense into the ground. I needed this feeling gone. Even if I got caught and had to move around in the dark like I used to, the urge was unbearable and I needed to sate it.
"Yea." I watched Kingsley walk away after hearing my answer. She moved towards the bar just outside the hallway door we entered from.
I walked with Jesse past the end of the hallway where a single door stood. I entered the room, a space decorated like a sex den, swinging cage and other such things. I had guessed their personalities had switched as well but Jesse might be more of a deviant than Jeremy was. I closed the door behind me and looked at Jesse who was already undressed.
She was a fit woman, well balanced curves and long legs. Her body was lithe. She threw herself on the bed and turned to face me, her body exposed, while leaning on her elbows. She was breathing heavily, her face was completely flushed. I started undressing myself as well as she watched.
"You got any special requests?" She asked me while I unbuttoned my shirt slow enough to entice her.
"I like having my hair pulled." She stared straight at my chest while I spoke. Her eyes were scanning past my clothes expectantly. I took off my shirt and threw it beside the bed.
"Turn around and bring your ass closer to me." I saw her quiver slightly before quickly assuming the position. Her legs were spread and her ass was in the air, her lips quietly anticipating my movement.
I grabbed her ass and traced my thumb across the slit. It was a shame. The moment I did so I could hear her muffled snoring. She had passed out.
I gently moved her into a position where she wouldn't choke if she puked on herself and grabbed my shirt.
"As much as I want to, your face isn't the one that needs the most correcting." I put my shirt back on and went looking for Jeremy.
—-
That bastard, that fucking asshole. Why is my sister swooning over such a mass of useless flesh. How could she make me leave? I spent my life helping her get to where she is. I was the one who pushed her to become an actress. I was the one who protected her from mother. It was me! I was the one who was there for her!
"Get some drinks to the VIP booth." I set my hand down on the bar. Feeling the sticky surface I looked at the bartender. "Why is this place always so dirty?! Wipe it down every once in a while! I keep telling you to keep it clean!" Unbelievable. I looked at the VIP booth just to see my sister flirting with that fucking guy again. I can't watch this anymore. I can't stand it.
"Fucking useless." I started walking towards my office. At least there I can have some peace and quiet from this awful music. I got to my office and sat in my chair, but his stupid face kept popping into my head. That sneer he gave me every time Jesse got close to him. That fucking face, I just want to rip it off. I opened a bottle of whiskey and took a sip.
"Hooh." I need to calm down. This is just another one of her flings. I know I'm the only one she cares about. I know it, but that fucking guy, he rubs me the wrong way. It's like he's trying to get under my skin. It's like he knows me or something. Does he know me? Do I know him?
Thinking about it now, he is somewhat familiar, but from where? I turned my computer on. It was a long shot but I tried filtering his name through any of the documents I had stored in my computer. Seeing how long it would take I sat back and kept sipping my whiskey. Maybe he's some junkie I fucked over when I was still selling. I closed my eyes.
I could hear the loud thumping of the music as I woke from my nap. The bottle I had in my hand was empty now. I threw it in the trash beside me, missing the can completely. Looking at my computer, it seems the search had finished at some point. There was only one match.
"Let's see who this fuck is." I clicked the file attached to the name. The file was dated almost ten years ago. "He really is some asshole from a long time ago." I scrolled down past the long file I barely remembered. When I finally found his name, it was highlighted inside of a single line of text that read:
'Known Aliases of Aldonado Ruido: Donald Blare, Landon Clamor, Adonis Din, Donovan Knoys'
"Ruido? Fucking Ruido!?" I scrolled higher in the file and started reading through the file from the beginning. I was sober now and my hand was trembling. "Why the fuck is it Ruido?"
The name Ruido was one that should have been buried. It was a name that could ruin everything. It was the name of a family that was long extinct.
The file jogged the memories of those days ten years ago. The life we led to get the money we needed to survive and eventually thrive. The poison we sold to saps on the street. As well as the man we bought that poison from. The man known as Antonio Ruido, a man we killed more than ten years ago. Antonio Ruido had so many enemies that the part we played in his downfall was only a tiny one, and, more importantly, that part allowed us to leave that life behind for good.
I quickly scrambled through the information that told me of the operation we held to kill him. The people we hired, the money it took, the losses we incurred, all of it was documented. I checked the photos, the attached videos, everything showed me that man's dead body in clear view. Yet, the information I had on the boy that was with him, a variable we hadn't planned for, a child we killed to be safe. The only photo I saw pertaining to Donovan Knoys was a photo of a dead boy looking up into the camera. I saw his eyes without life in them, his body punctured by two bullet wounds, one in the chest and one in the neck, and his lifeless corpse strewn across the pavement. Aldonado Ruido was definitely dead. So who is this guy with the same name trying to fuck my sister? I stood up. I need to tell Jesse.
"I need to-" I couldn't speak. Two arms wrapped around my neck and kept the air from entering or exiting my body.
"So it was you guys who did me in. I'd been wondering." I couldn't answer him. I could only see his smiling face from the slight reflection on my monitor. "Doesn't really matter though." He squeezed harder and my vision started to darken. "Not since I saw you." My eyes closed again.