I have dreamt of him every night since then, the fact that he was engaged to my twin sister made it easier for me to picture my face beneath him. I hated her for getting him, for having a good life. I wanted to be the one married to carter, to live the life I desperately longed for.
After all, devlin once wanted everything I owned to be hers, we shared toys, a room, and clothes. I was okay with everything till we traded in the bunk beds for separate beds. I thought I was safe from her, but I was wrong. She took my shoes, clothes, books, and everything I bought with the money I had saved up. What hurt the most was how she took my friends too, and the boys that took a liking to me. She would take them away from me, it was like my suffering gave her joy. At some point, I gave up trying for anything, there was no space for two, just devlin.
She wanted the spotlight, so she took it. I let her while I sunk to the background, the wallflower sister, and I was okay with that.
At some point, I gave up on that childish dream, I focused on my work and boyfriend, and everything was just as it should be. Seeing the picture brought back memories that didn't sit well with me, and always reminded me that devlin will always come first and not me.
It doesn't matter if I sacrifice, or stand in her place, it doesn't matter if I was born first, and she was always going to be the first choice. When I was growing up, it didn't hurt me that much, it was only when my mother fell ill and began to call me, devlin, that she would tell me all sorts of stories, devlin. Once she hears my name, she keeps mute. It hurts because I took care of her all through the time she was sick, devlin never called or came to visit, but my mom preferred her over me.
After her death, I hated devlin, not for stealing my things, not for calling, not for abandoning me to take care of our mother, but the fact that my mother still loved her more than she loved me. It hurt that, in the end, my mother those her instead of me, and she wasn't even there for her.
She has made contact, once she discovered I was in New York, thanks to henry. But, I refused to talk to her, she had nothing to say to me that I would want to listen to. Henry wouldn't understand, he is the youngest child of wealthy parents, what does he know about poverty?
He often pressures me to talk to my sister, in his own words, "you need to let things go and move on. She is your sister, after all."
Easy for him to say, he is on good terms with all his siblings, he was nothing if spoilt.
In his ignorance, henry assumes all other families are like his. Well, he is wrong. Mine is a disaster. I forgave devlin so many times when we were kids that I lost count, she had done unspeakable things to me as a child, I had to forgive her because my mother always preached that family is important, and family is power.
When devlin turned her back on us, was the day I burnt those words to ashes in my mind. I was a fool to believe those words.
Devlin has always begged for my forgiveness when she did something wrong, she would beg and beg, promising not to do such again. Then she goes around to do something unforgivable the next, it was a vicious cycle.
One that I miserably stuck in, it was tiring for me but fun for her.
I remember all the time henry and I had the conversation about my sister, he brought up the topic of knowing my sister is a model. At first, I wondered if that was why he was with me, I looked at him closely, looking for signs of dishonesty. He was either a good liar or he was telling the truth about loving me.
He told me that she contacted him to plead for my forgiveness. Of course, she had to use recruits, the only person that would have pleaded on her behalf was dead. I couldn't bring myself to look at henry the same after then, I looked at him as one of my sister's consorts.
I know she was trying to use him, she is fine. There is no need to beg my forgiveness or she could be trying to take him from me, she was a snake. I would give her that, she wanted him to pity her, then they would become friends and she would end up taking him away from me.
I can't help but wonder if her billionaire husband was not enough for her, or if she simply wanted everything that I have. I wasn't going to let her ruin my chance at happiness. I came to New York for a fresh start, devlin is not going to ruin that for me.
"Devlin called again," Henry said to me.
I simply stared at him, I chose not to react. That's what he wants, a reaction from me. Well, he wasn't getting any.
"Did you hear what I said?" he asked this time.
"Of course, I heard you" I confirmed, he wanted me to scream at him, an outlet for his latest sin. Then, he doesn't know the woman he is dating.
"What do you want me to say, huh?" I asked him calmly, he stared at me with a strange look on his face.
"Anything, your estranged sister called and you have nothing to say?" he asked,
"That's right, nothing" I confirmed.
"Are you ever going to forgive her?" he pushed again, I was tempted to snap at him, but that would mean that he would win.
Oh, he would like that, wouldn't he? A nice opportunity to slum it up with my sister as he has fantasized.
"What's it to you? She is my sister, and for the love of God, stay out of this" I told him, careful not to sound upset at the end.
"Okay, I will drop it," he said, raising his hands in a surrender motion. I rolled my eyes, he thinks he can goad me into screaming, he is underestimating me.
I cleared my plate and his, washing them as he scrolled on his phone.
"Did you see any texts from ben? I left my phone unlocked during my time in the shower" he questioned me.
There was no text from ben, he is trying to know if I checked his phone, seeing as he forgot to delete the picture from his phone. I smiled at his foolishness.
"No, he texted you? I was busy looking for my jacket" I answered offhandedly,
"Oh, okay. I should go, I am late for work." He said as he kissed me goodbye.
He got into his car and drove off, no doubt going to meet devlin. Henry forgot that he told me that he was taking a few days off yesterday. Now, he is rushing to go to work after making me the "he is guilty" breakfast. My smile grew deeper as I thought about his lies. He was so screwed when he gets home.
I grinned boldly, he was dumb to think that I would fall for the oldest trick in the book of cheating. Now, he knows I didn't see the picture, he is going to delete it. He probably, appease me by buying me something nice on his way home. I have studied henry for the five years we have been dating, I have predicted his actions a couple of times, and I was right each time. He always forgets that I was very smart, I try to dumb it down sometimes because I didn't want him to feel threatened. No man thinks a woman is smarter than he is.
It was the reason why I decided to sit back and enjoy the magic of being an observer, I get to see things. I saw how my friends fell for my sister's lies about me, I saw how she told the lies, the beautiful way in which she spun them. It was like music to the ears. I watched my mother defend devlin like she was her only child, I watched my only sister walk out of my life and never look back.
I got to see so many things whilst sitting on the bench, I was amazed at how manipulative my sister was, it was beautiful to watch, she used people, led them to believe that she was the right one for them, I did not doubt that she manipulated carter Grandstein to marry her.
How else would she have snagged him?
I owed her the same courtesy she gave me over Angelo.