Run or fight? These thoughts vanished altogether as I remembered the pervert behind me. My long legs started a sprint, while I dismissed the shield and my sword slashed one of the rabbits apart while my tail slammed another one against a tree like I practiced moving this part of my body my whole life. The third rabbit bit my arm, causing a damage notification to pop up.
[-10 health]
But it didn't affect me as I dug my poisoned dagger in the brain of the rabbit still dangling on my arm. The sagging corpse hit the ground and I sprinted on, further distancing myself from the clearing and continued until I entered Bronning without looking back. Luckily only one lonely rabbit passed my path and fell victim to my blade. Slowly, I was gaining proficiency in welding iron weapons. Although I still preferred using magic.
But I was safe from the pervert. In the shade of my cloak, a smile tugged on the corners of my mouth. It was like adrenaline was continuing to pump into my system, though the danger had already passed.
I only had 6h in game left before I needed to log out and didn't want to...What didn't I want?
My only destination was Daystreak...or what remained of it. Those feelings I just felt...they didn't matter. I would leave Falan soon and I vowed to abandon any feelings hindering my goal. All that mattered was a proper burial. And that I heeded this task fast. I didn't want to stay longer than needed inside this game.
At first I was assured because I thought I wouldn't be able to ever walk the woods and streets without remembering Coven. But now I understood my real fear: I was afraid of being content and enjoying a world without Coven. That I would be able to simply let go of my grief and carry on.
And that it would be the same for me. That the world itself and anyone I know would just carry on unmoved after my death. The fear of being irrelevant and letting all I cherished turn into nothing but faint remembrance made me quake in my boots like nothing before.
My eyes burned with unshed tears. I wanted to force them back, like I always did...before meeting Coven. He made my life into something I started to cherish. And I foolishly believed that luck and happiness could be held on forever. Like a fool I hoped. I dared to dream and had to wake up.
Some dreams turn into nightmares. Fueled by an unjust reality, they destroyed anything in their way, leaving destruction in their wake. I wasn't damned. I was just too untalented and poor to reach my goals. If I was intelligent, could it have changed the outcome of the recent happenings? Would I have been able to be happy?
If I became stronger, could I obtain happiness? I wasn't sure, but my weakness proved that I could never be happy if I wasn't strong enough to defend my people. Now, I had no one left to defend, no one to return to and share my stories. I was alone in this world, ready to be preyed on by the strong to swallow me up and chew me down.
They could break me with a flick of their wrist and I would never be able to stand again. I was nothing but dust under their feet. My mind screamed to spite them all, prove how I could overpower them all, drag them down from their throne and make their happiness turn into hell, too. But my rationality calmly held my racing thoughts back. I was too weak and would never be able to weather people stronger, richer and more intelligent than me.
Reflecting the real world, I would stay insignificant forever. If anyone could become powerful, then all would be equal. But the world wasn't a place where equal starting points would be given. Some had wings, others flew in planes while people like me had to walk the earth and climb the mountain step by step. While breath turns labored, pebbles from above hit like gunshots and hinder my climb.
And due to my struggle I don't even notice that it is an impossible task. The air up on the mountaintop is too thin and if I ascend too much, then the atmosphere would kill me before the people on the mountains could throw me down.
Fruitless endeavors indeed, carefully groomed in flames of hope, tempered by the most beautiful feelings. Created to keep all in line and try to climb to the mountaintop. It always looked so close, just a few steps away…
At the same time, digging the mountain away, detonating it into pieces never crosses anyones' mind. Maybe because their greed is as large as the mountain itself. And who should give up hope, dreams and happiness if they could have it all?
Now that I lost it all, fell to the bottomless ground, shattering apart slowly, would it be worth it to stitch myself up? If I had the chance to climb the mountain again or would I abandon it?
Maybe before.
But I felt the rush of emotions, tasted greed. Touched the smooth cliffs under my fingers and was tempted to rise. Not to get happiness, luck, love nor riches. Just a sinister form of vengeance. Not against people of the system or those using it to rise. I wanted retribution against the system itself. I needed not to scale that mountain but crush it. Crumble it down to its groundwork.
Until not even memories would be left of it. And built my own mountain to scale.