Time flew while we were in that room and I couldn't settle down.
Like how could I?
I wasn't going to just be like, "Hey Ursula, I'm sorry for attacking you out of the blue like that, it was wrong of me and I'm sorry" and or "Hey Tina I'm sorry for making you brood earlier, it was my fault and I hope you forgive me..."
I'm not fucking doing that!
Because I'm not in the wrong!!
First of all Ursula's nothing to me!
She's not my friend and she'll never be my lover!
She's just some Demon and we both want the same thing which makes me want to tear her limbs out from her small body and hurt her so bad that she doesn't ever come crawling back out from the abyss.
And then there's my second–
No fuck it!
I shouldn't even be feeling like this, especially not towards Tina!
Tina threatened me into Dating her!
She stabbed me.
And she's bad shit crazy! Like Psychopathic-Yandere like crazy!
But then again she did come to save me...
No, I take it back, it was that disgusting fucking Demon who saved me, or so I heard, I don't believe any of them for a second though, it's not like Ursula, it must have been Lex who actually came for me, but even then, what's his objective? I should ask? But then again no matter how nice of a person he is, he's still a Demon, so I should be very careful if I do.
Back To Tina though!
I still can't believe she chose that pathetic excuse for a woman to get affection from!
Like seriously, Ursula?!
Out of everyone to have as a secondary partner you chose someone of my race, and besides that point, you choose someone I despise.
Like seriously what the fuck!!!
This fucking disgusts me!
Wait why the hell am I even thinking of the two of them!
I have a tournament to participate in, in like a day or two!!!
I'm not surviving this!
I'm not prepared and this so-called drama isn't helping because it's all mixing together and I need it to stay separate!
But I can't segregate them!
I'm battling my emotions right now and losing, I don't want to think about the tournament, I want to think about Tina, my disgust for the others, the bitterness going all around right now.
Even the jealousy ravishing whatever the hell's inside of me right now.
No, wait! I didn't mean to think that!
I'm not jealous!
There's nothing to even be jealous of!
Who cares if when I was happy and excited to see Tina, Ursula came out of nowhere and not knowing that I was already there with Tina, mentioned their earlier affairs!
Shit, I don't care who Tina sleeps with!
Especially not that short, no brain, dwarf, Demoness, Ursula!!
She's her girlfriend after all!
It's not like it's something to even get jealous of anyways, like who cares, defiantly not me!
And it's not like I haven't done the same, I've slept with like 30+ people and enjoyed every moment of it, so who cares if she wants to take in another slut...
. . . . .
Sitting there, venting it all out in my head, I clenched my fist and was going to have to admit to the fact that everyone has flaws and faults and other stuff to at least try to keep some sort of optimism around.
So in doing that and looking up from where I was, I looked over to the slut and Tina sitting across from me, talking nonchalantly like I wasn't even here in the room with them, joking and laughing as I sat here quiet and frustrated, it brought a slight smirk to see one of those smiles, and so with optimism kicking in.
I then realized something crucial.
Optimism sucks ass.
. . . . .
But than again I wasn't even conscious when doing so,
Due to the first week of torment and torture I was broken and lost all the will left in me to live, the only thing that kept me going was the same desperation that tormented me and that's what sparked that unconscious state which only wanted nothing more for me than to survive.
AND THAT BEFORE WAS A BIG FUCKING LIE!!!
I TOOK NO JOY IN DOING WHAT I DID!!!
The only joy that I ever felt was when I was with those imprisoned Sorcerers playing games or my encounters with Lady Clementine, and that's only because even though I was a prisoner she treated me like I was a human being and not just a thing(slave/other).
But that was only after she broke and tortured me. . .
Anyways.
Back to what I was saying.
There was no joy in what I did to stay alive.
Sometimes I had to exchange my body in order not to be killed, other times I would have to use my incubus abilities so that they didn't feed me to the zombies due to my recklessness of being caught while sneaking out of my cell, and once in a while they'd share and pass me around to those who found me fond and knew I wouldn't fight back against them, it was like I was their personal whore sometimes and stupid me let them do it without raising a hand against them because they promised not to kill me and would return me back to my cell the next day or whenever finished.
And then there were those times where I was pushed into it, like that time where Lady Clementine saved me from one of those situations by smashing that guard's head in with a blunt mace.
...I don't like remembering any of this.
But you can just say that I did what was needed to survive, and even then, I was foolish, I trusted Lady Clementine with my life and even she screwed me over, selling me off like the others and breaking our promise.
And I won't ever forget that...
I'll stay bitter till the bitter end.
And I'llgoing to stay bitter.
But... But than again...
What I'd do to play another game of spades~
Okay, maybe I'm not all the way bitter.
I'm still angry though, fuck optimism!
I'm angry at the Demon and Tina! Humph!
. . . . .
Realizing how fucked my ankle actually was, especially after all the moving around I did, I ended up waddling back to my room since we were just in some random room at the Natsu's Fire Temple aka Main branch, and as I was walking I bumped into Kyo who helped me back to my room since I was more or less lost in the hallways, he also promised to come see me later to help with my ankle which I really appreciated, he's a good guy.
* * *
Resting in my room, light passed and everything got darker, the lights switched from natural sunlight to glow stones, and with a sudden flicker from the switch the door opened to my room, but I already knew it wasn't Kyo since he came earlier.
Sitting up on the bed I felt the bed shift as if someone else was on it and as I rubbed my eyes and then opened it, I felt someone on my lap, and looking at who it was, oh no it's a Dangerous Rouge, no wait, it was just Tina...
It was Tina and as she moved and adjusted herself on my lap, she didn't say a word as she moved in, wrapping me up in her arms, and smacking her lips against mine.
It was like she was an animal in heat, she squeezed me tight and she came at me with a lot of force as if she didn't want to lose her prey.
But instead of going along with this and doing kind of what I wanted to, which was to actually kiss her back and tear my clothes off to make what others referred to as love, with her.
Moving my hands to her love handles, I ignored the agonizing pain against my arm from one of those two Phyric attacks Mari used against me which even now I still couldn't understand how they could have damaged me so much when I too am a Phyric Sorcerer and resistant to most fire attacks?
Tina smacked her mouth against mine and even though it was arousing I turned my head as it was clear that she wasn't backing off but instead going in deeper.
So turning away and breaking away from her kissing, I opened my mouth to say something meaningful, but then was shushed as her hand came over my mouth and then I heard, in a very deep and lustful breath,
"You know how much I hate it when you're with other girls, so not another word, I'm going to make you forget all about her, and I'm going to make you think only of me..."
But grabbing her hand as she was in the middle of speaking, I gave a sharp look as there was nothing meaningful with what I was going to say because as I looked to her flustered red face sweeping all that was white from it originally, I couldn't bear to keep this on my mind any longer, especially since this was going to not just impact her but myself in the long run.
"Tina, I'm breaking up with you, please leave me alone"