Imma just tell you now, I did not say "I love you" back. Why? Because I have some major trust issues that go down to a physiological level.
And... well, I don't even know her? I don't know any of these people, their Hiro's friends not mine? And I do respect them seeing as their morally good people, but I'm going to have to break her heart here because I can't just use her because she thinks that I'm the Hiro she knew and loved.
Well... I already used her seeing as during my lustful state I managed to seduce her. How I don't remember? But from what she just said I was kinda cringy. But that's not the point! The point was I couldn't control myself back there!
But I can control this.
This is my choice.
. . . . .
"I love you" Telling me how she felt about me, I didn't know what to do? I didn't know how to feel? I was literally rebirthed yesterday and I was just looking to survive. I was just trying to survive and not pry into Hiro's life and replace him. I don't want to replace him and I don't want to be anything like him!. . .
Unlike him, I was honest with myself,
I knew what I was and what I wasn't,
And I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want. And I didn't want to be some scumbag who manipulated his friends.
Yes, not "our" friends, his.
We may be one person because my original soul and his were merged together. But I'm not Hiro Natsu...
I'm...
I'm Turtle...Natsu?... Yeah!?
I'm Turtle Natsu!!!
Which sounds stupid and I will never refer to myself as that again. . .
. . . . .
After hearing her confess as she poured her heart out to me, I looked to her and sighed as I couldn't believe I was going to do this.
Reaching my hand out to her shoulder with a serious tone I opened my mouth and said,
"I'm not Hiro Natsu"
Hearing me say that she tilted her head as she looked at me confused, "what?" she didn't understand, "what do you mean your not Hiro? Yeah you are?" she thought I was messing with her and she chuckled as if this was a joke.
But as she said that I frowned as I looked at her seriously; she looked at my bitter expression towards her and she gulped as I looked to be quite intimidating with my deviant face.
And as she looked to my face she suddenly sniffled as she had made an assumption in her head; from my look alone,
"Hiro... If you didn't want to go out with me you just had to say so. You didn't have to make up this crap I got the hint..." she said as her eyes got teary and she started getting upset as if she was about to cry, she then reached for the doorknob trying to leave.
But as she did and she turned it, I grabbed her by the hand and stopped her from leaving as I blocked her path and she pulled away showing to me her blue face as she had tears already running down her cheek.
"I said I get it! You don't have to make up a stupid excuse! I get that I'm just a stupid fool to think that you'd ever like me!" but as she yelled that I instantly got mad and as I did my hand moved from her hand to her shirt collar as I then said holding back my voice,
"Dumbass I'm telling you the truth! So shut the hell up and just let me talk!" as I angrily said that my hands had caught ablaze in orange flames and I immediately let go backing away.
Banking away my back slammed into the door as I shook my hand to extinguish the flames.
Seeing such a thing she frighteningly backed away as that was magic and as she did she was still tearing up as she still hadn't believed me.
As my back to was to the door and my hand was freed from the flames, my chest had started to hurt and my breath have started to become heavy. I can't take it, it's only been less than 2 days and I'm starting to break under pressure.
Sliding down to my butt as I felt a rumble from inside me, the pressure was too much for me to handle as I just sat there panting as I just wanted to have a mental breakdown and cry.
"I'm a Demon okay!!!" I yelled startling her as tears ran down my face, I was under way too much stress and lacked sleep to mentally cope with everything since my rebirth yesterday.
Seeing me tear up as I was sitting down with my back to the door, she didn't say anything as I looked down to my hands and didn't think before speaking,
"I am Hiro but I'm not Hiro! You have no idea how I feel right now! I don't know who any of you are! I barely have any memories of my old life and my family and I just found out that I had awakened as a Demon last night when we slept together! I'm 3 seconds from having a mental breakdown because I can't sleep because the Hiro you know lives in my head and he's constantly yelling at me because I slept with you last night!"
I said as my face had started flowing with more tears than she had down hers and I started crying; in which had surprised her as I just let it all out.
There was no way I can live in Nefumia after something like this, she's going to report me and I'm going to have to leave the kingdom and try and survive in the apocalyptic wilds because now everyone will know that I'm a Demon and Demon Hunters and Nefumia Slayers will be after me along with the church!
But as I was weeping in front of her I suddenly felt a touch on my shoulder and as I looked up I saw her crouching down with her hand on my shoulder,
"it'll all be alright, stop crying"
But as she said that it got worst as I practically turned into a little chibi as I was started whining louder and childishly,
"Stop crying my ass! I was literally brought into this world yesterday because of you're dumb Hiro and now you're going to report me and the church and Demon hunters are going to hunt me down and kill me! I don't want to die!" I got too emotional as this was practically a breakdown.
But as I cried even more she grabbed both of my shoulders and gripped me tightly,
"I'm not going to report you! Just stop crying and let's talk. I don't really understand what your saying that much? But if what you said was true then I want to help you"
she said and as she did I sniffled,
"R-Really?..."
"Yeah"
And as she said that I hugged her and thanked her as she didn't know how much this meant to me, keeping it all in and bottling it up was something Hiro could do, but I couldn't.
This is why I went to church, from what my papa told me if you pray your troubles away God will forgive and all the burdens on your shoulders will lessen. And even though I don't remember if it worked, from those little memories/quotes I have of him I wanted to keep them as a reminder for my sanity.
Leaving the bathroom and going with Tina to her room. Jennifer had said that she was ready to go as she wore a beautiful sundress. However, Tina intervened telling her that she was going to tag along but the both of them needed an hour to prepare since the church wasn't even going to be open to the public at this time in the morning, so Jennifer agreed to wait as she went to finish the movie.
And as she was down there I had talked with Tina the entire time as she just threw some random clothes on and sat on the bed to listen to me basically vent.
However I didn't tell her everything seeing as that would so very much complicate things, so I only told her about the stuff I said in the bathroom.
Like how before yesterday I was someone else whose nickname was Turtle and because of something that Hiro had done, our souls were merged and I was reborn as him, or we were reborn into each other? It was complicated but it was obvious that I/Turtle was the dominant controller.
While explaining this part she didn't believe me so she had started asking questions in which I hadn't understood and she then wrote that down in her little notebook?
After that I had told her that I had very few memories of my old life before this new life and that I didn't have many of Hiro's memories as some things just came naturally to me... In which I had to lie about since the whole me thinking that this was a novel created by me thing; isn't something I think would sit well with people especially since their all real-life people and some stuff I knew about them had been kinda very personal.
So me revealing that I kinda had a Truesight view of a lot of people was a major no-go.....
Hearing me out she jotted it down in her notes as if she was a detective.
I told her a little bit about the fragment of Hiro that wouldn't leave me alone when I tried to sleep and she had just said that she was going to ask about this later?
After that, it finally came down to the last thing in where I had to explain to her that I was an awakening incubus. . .However, I couldn't do that seeing as it would reveal to her that I knew something that I wasn't telling her.
But then something Immediately hit me, I told her that I remembered some guy calling me an incubus back when we were at the festival and that I was sure that he was just like me.
After chatting for an hour she asked about why I in particular wanted to go to church despite being a literal Demon and as I tried to remember in which hurt my head, after having hurt my head I responded with,
"I had a very religious family~"
* * *
As it was time to catch the train to District 4, we took our time getting to the train station as it would be a while before they even got to our station.
So as we walked Jennifer had ditched us as she said that she was going to go for a light run to the station because she knew one of the workers and wanted to talk to him before his shift ended.
And as she left us, Tina who looked to be heavily contemplating as she had been quiet this entire time had finally opened her mouth as she put her hands together,
"H-Hiro?" Tina
"Yes?" Me/Hiro
"Do you... uh... Do you want to go out with me?" Tina
"We are going out? We're going to the train station?" Hiro
"What I mean is do you want to go out with me! In like a... Romantic way?" Tina
"No thanks" Hiro
"What! Why not?! You–" Tina
"Lost control and seduced you" Hiro
"Yeah But– bla bla bla bla bla!" Tina being ignored
Looking over to her I wasn't going to hide it, I was running on coffie and sleep deprivation. I didn't actually know her and that meant I was on neutral terms with her. But that also meant I wasn't going to lie without reason too and since she already knows what I am and for some God forsaken reason that she's taken interest in me, I was actually going to just tell her how I felt about all of this and how her feelings towards someone like me was just plain stupid,
"You do know I didn't pick you right? You just happened to be the closest female to me when I was outta my mind and literally anyone yesterday could have taken your place and gotten the same lustful reaction from me" Hiro
What I was trying to say was that she was stupid for any thought she had about me that happened to be romantic, and I was trying to make her think about to possibility of looking for someone else because there was no way in hell that I was boyfriend material.
As I was being a dick to her as I had basically said that she was nothing special, looking at me as I was completely serious she giggled and grabbed my hand... I was taken back by her actions after hearing me say that to her.
"Then that just makes it all the better seeing as I was the lucky girl to steal your first time, reborn~" Tina
"Hey who said I was a virgin!" Hiro
"You did... An hour ago... In the restroom when I thought you were trying to make up some lame excuse?" she said as she very clearly remembered and it made me flush as she remembered, "Anyways have no worries I was also a virgin till yesterday~" she said despite being stretched out like the wheel of a tire.
After that we went back and forth for a few minutes and we were walking. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or her attitude towards my suffering. But I got bitter.
"I don't get it what do you even like about me? You do know that I'm not actually the same Hiro you grew up with right? I'm technically just an incubus who looks like your best friend?" Hiro
"I know" Tina
"You're just looking for sex, aren't you?" Hiro
"Maybe~" Tina
"Do you even care that you'll never be able to see your Hiro again?! It disgusts me to think that you could just give up on him so quickly!" Hiro
But as I said that she let go of my hand and hit me over the head, right before putting her arms behind her back as she walked next to me.
"I don't care what you say, from what you told me. Your still Hiro... No offense but if what you said was true and You/Turtle and Hiro have merged in rebirth, then your still Hiro, you're just a new Hiro seeing as when 2 things are merged together they form a new thing, so your not the old you and or Hiro, you and Hiro are a new being altogether which I do have to sat sound pretty badass" Tina
Looking over to me and I didn't process what she had just said as my face was blank, she laughed and said,
"And so as that's said. I'm still not giving up" Tina
"Why not? Literally, just an hour ago you were on the verge of crying and were ready to give up immediately?" Hiro
"Hmm... That's because I thought you were making something stupid up to reject me" Tina
"Well, I'm rejecting you now aren't I? So can you just buzz off or something? " I sounded like Mari as I said that and yawned; so exhausted.
"No can do, I've changed my mind that's why! Because I know that you need me, I'm like your right-hand man in a video game and you need me to continue progressing~!" Tina
"No... I don't" Hiro
"Yes you do~" Tina
Starting at each other she kept a smile on her face as I glared, but then as I did and she opened her pretty little mouth to say,
"Question, can you read our common language system? And how much do you know about this town, our region, and our history?..." Tina
Fuck she's beating me with logical questions!...
"Also~ My entire womb is still full of your semen and guess what darling? Yesterday wasn't a safe day for me. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, if I can literally feel it in me like it's about to burst, as my belly is filled to the brim with hit thick cum, then either way it doesn't really matter if it's a safe day or not seeing as I'll still get pregnant?" Tina
Saying that I sharply veered my head to her as I had forgotten and she was right! I came in her much that there was no way that she wasn't knocked up!
Seeing my expression she smirked and reached for her pocket, pulling out this little tablet in which contained a small pill inside.
"However do you see this? This is a very expensive pill that can defertilize me for the next 48 hours, stopping any of my eggs from being fertilized by any sperm while also getting rid of any fertilized eggs already in me that are under 6 weeks" Tina
Informing me of this she waved the tablet in her hand and with a smile she said,
"Now you see this is my moms and it's going to take me a very long time to save up the money to buy her a new one, so if you want me to eat this. Then all you have to do is make me your right-hand man and girlfriend and I'll eat the pill. If not... Then I wonder how long it'll take for our baby to be born?" Tina
Note to self, I had always assumed Tina to be one of the more innocent and kind people in Hiro's life but now I can only assume that it was to Hiro and Friends. . .
Also note to self, Tina has her own ways of getting things done and she's someone I don't think I should underestimate? So if she ever says to look the other way, then you ain't see anything of what the bitch does, because as far as I know it she didn't do it. And if she kills someone you better just say she's innocent or she'll turn you into tofu... Paste!
"You're a psychotic bitch, Tina" Hiro
"Hey, that's mean! This is just–" Tina
"But... I strangely like it?" Hiro
I said perplexed by myself...
"Anyways you can be my right-hand man... IF you never pull something like that again" Hiro
"HAI!" Tina jumped excitedly
"Oh yeah, and I'm also your girlfriend now, right? Tina
"No..." Hiro
"I'm not taking the pill, humph. Maybe if you ask me out then I will" Tina
"Ugh, your such a pain in the whore..." Hiro
*Tina cutely pouts as she looks away and refuses to listen to or hear out anything he says*
"sigh... I'm so going to regret this..." Hiro uttered
"Tina... Will you go out with me?" I said dead inside and as I did she turned to me and grind brightly,
"I'd love to!"
I hate my life....