I woke up in a pitch black darkness, a static plane of nothingness. A state of limbo that stretches between the vastness and depth of the unknown. I reached out my hands and grabbed anything I could and held on it tightly, afraid of the surrounding darkness.
From a distance, I could hear the muffling sound of people pacing around, their voices desperate and grim.
¨This is bad, her reproductive organs will prolapse if this continues.¨
¨What else can we do?!¨ The voice of a young woman cried out. ¨Is it too late to conduct a C-section doctor?¨
¨We can't risk dissecting her if the baby is still alive...¨
The wariness of their voices frightened me. Although I could hear their voices, I could not understand their words.
¨We need to tape her mouth.¨
¨What? What good would it do to tape a dead body now?¨She sobbed incessantly, although I could not understand her, I felt the sadness in her voice.
¨We need to trap the excess air within the abdomen, air pressure will build up and force the uterus out. This is the only way to deliver the baby now.¨
The sobs grew louder until it was the only sound I could hear. I held onto whatever I could grab in this complete darkness, hoping this madness would disappear. I wanted to comfort this young lass, but could not utter a single word. The interval of the women's cries gave me a rough measurement of the time that passed.
¨You should leave, you won't want to witness a coffin birth.¨
Suddenly, I felt the surrounding darkness pushing against me, I felt myself slipping through the infinite vastness, spiralling down and down towards the unknown. I want this pain to stop.
¨What the...¨
For the first time, I experienced the feeling of coldness, the unfamiliar touch of air on my skin, and the scent of death.
I opened my eyes for the first time, my reflex immediately shut my eyelids from the excruciating pain of light. The experience of seeing colours for the first time was nothing short of a novelty. The man that held onto me looked straight into my eyes, his gaze reflected a plethora of disgust and surprise.
¨He is not going to make it.¨ he mumbled slightly, tears streaming down his wrinkled face. He looked at me sadly, words were not enough to convey the grief he felt.
Within my hands, I held onto a red clot of blood, for some reason, holding it brought me warmth and unspeakable comfort.
¨If a miracle was to happen... it better be now.¨ He grabbed something shiny from his belt and sliced it down my blood soaked body. Gently, he laid me down with his hands still trembling.
¨If you are real, oh Great ones. Save this child.¨
He muttered under his breath, chanting a concatenation of prayers. His hand now held onto the severed umbilical cord, and continued.
¨Oh Great one, save this pitiful abomination. This child of a dead mother.¨