I just sat there on my terrace enjoying some cooled ice tea. It was right between spring and summer. I laid there on a nice lounger a straw hat above my face. Just a moment ago the sun burned me to crisp and I felt like a baked chicken and one second later it turned from one of the hottest days ever recorded into a storm.
At first there were only some little drops evaporating on the stone. But soon it poured out of the clouds with droplets as big as a little boys fist.
The sudden rain startled me and I got inside my apartment faster than a rampaging hippo. I barely saw how my lounger got blown away. The raindrops turned into hail and crashed onto the roof like some damn howitzer shells. I felt the earth shaking as I turned the tv on.
" warning to all the citizens ;at the north coast appeared a hurricane of the category... Harry what's up with that information it says it is category 6, that doesn't even exist."
"Now it does" you could hear a man scream those words.
'Well... guess i am fucked know ' where the guys thoughts as the roof gave away under the weight of tons of ice burying and killing the man.
Buried under tons of ice his only question was if god hates atheists.
———————————————
As I woke up I felt the cold of the ice that was on me.
'WAIT! Where's the ice?'
Instead of ice around me there was only darkness. I tried to stand up and slowly got up. A faint glowing emanated from my body.
Around me was only the void. I lightly jumped and a dull sound came from the strange plain black floor.
I walked around for hours neither seeing nor perceiving anything.
Suddenly a light flashed up and everything went bright. I wanted to close my eyes but couldn't.
I only heard a strange voice " we have decided; we may grant you our blessings as gods. The blessing of rebirth, blessing of the peerless and the blessing of uniqueness. In return you have to invent something ,a new divinity for the child of three gods that gave you their blessing. good luck young one"
The voice started as a whisper and slowly turned louder until it sounded more like the shout of a drill instructor.
I slowly passed out as the voice got louder with only one thought' What the actual fuck? ...'
———————————————
As I slowly regained consciousness I felt something warm and... sloshy?
'Fuck me sideways. I hate that fainting and waking up in sequences thing. Ok for recall I died by a hurricane so strong it shouldn't exist, got squashed into a pulp by tons of ice, woke up got shouted at by a fucking primordial drill instructor, fainted again and woke up in a liquid that if I am correct is probably my mother's womb. Just. Damn. Fucking. Great.'
As I recalled what happened it felt like I was some toddlers toy that got chewed on several times.
Dunno how it feels and will hopefully never find out how but I have an idea; it feels like a car accident but the car is secretly a hammer to make schnitzel. You don't know how that feels ? well I guess you could compare it with the pain of like 10-15 broken bones.
My only question in my mothers womb was what to do...answer:
[Please choose you name ]