"Describe it to me one more time." He hummed.
With a deep breath in I slowly released it, imagining smoke coming out instead of air.
"You ever dream like you're looking through a thin veil of water?"
Silence.
"Maybe you're seeing a place or a person through that thin veil. But one is there. Coated in a shadowy blue."
Some scribbling in his notebook. "Continue." He spoke. I could barely see his well groomed chestnut beard with streaks of grey out of my peripheral vision.
"The colors and atmosphere seem so cold, but once I can catch a small glimpse of the person on the other side... their lips, their eyes... once I catch those glimpses of them, I feel warmth. Safe. Untouchable."
He cleared his throat before flipping the page of his notebook. "What is the feeling you're left with when you wake up?"
I was quiet for a moment. My mind feeling shallow. "Lonely." More scribbling. He's supposed to be helping me but that scribbling just makes me feel worse.
"Do you think it's possible you're projecting yourself in your dreams? That you feel safer in your dreams than when you're awake and have to face the world."
Thinking of those eyes...
No way. Those eyes were too strong and sharp to be mine.
"I don't know, maybe." I sighed out instead, as I shift into a more comfortable position of a ball.
"It's good to have a safe haven to unwind your anxiety. But that safe place should be something more material. Something or someone you can actually see in person. Your anxiety is only going to keep you anchored in one place if your only safe haven is a reoccurring dream." He huffed out as he closed his notebook and placed it in front of him.
"At some point a reoccurring dream does stop. You may never return to it again. So I advise you to find something more material."
He's not a psychiatrist, but he is wise and the only person I feel safe enough to talk to. He's our Alpha. Human Alpha.
Blessed by the Moon Goddess herself with the strength and height of a grizzly bear standing up.
He takes up so much space, not just physically but energy wise as well, that it's hard to ignore him and not feel small in the same room as him.
Our pack is a scrappy bunch. Most are rescues in our own ways. Protected by a Human Alpha. Only a few wolves are apart of his pack through loyalty more than needing it. But many of us need it.
We've never suffered any attacks from other packs, as most are at peace with us. Either because they don't see us as a threat or because they don't know what other creatures and skin-walkers could be among our pack with an 8 foot Human Alpha.
"Go on and head to school now. We can talk more later if or when you want to." I nodded. I was the official foster daughter of the unmarked alpha. Due to my unique conditions and the lack of living family, he took me into his home.
"Thank you." I practically whispered as I grabbed my backpack on my way out, pulling my hood up.
Waiting by the door was Lyall. My foster brother. Like me, he wasn't much of a talker. While I wasn't yet comfortable enough to talk to him, he stayed by my side like a quiet comfort. A shield.
He wasn't nearly as big as his father, who was blessed by the Moon Goddess. But he was still intimidatingly large in human standards. Nearly half a foot over six. Broad shouldered and long curly blonde hair. If he stopped shaving he'd look 10 years older and like a Viking.
I get bothered all the time when I'm alone at school, but if Lyall is nearby, no one dares to even approach me.
In this way, he his my coping device in public.
Once we entered the school, Lyall said, "Find me if something feels off." Before peeling away to head to his locker that was on the other end of the school from mine.
When he was more than 10 feet away I could already feel my anxiety building. I made a beeline for my locker, doing everything as quickly as I could. Combo, open, books, close, walk... walk very briskly to class. Lyall was a year younger than me so we didn't share any classes.
Only times I got to see Lyall was lunch and free-period. He didn't have free-period yet as a Junior, but my free-period and his gym period lined up, so I'd just sit on the bleachers while working on my homework or reading while he was attending class.
Finally entering class I shuffled my way around the desks and sat in the seat furthest from the windows. The few others that sat around their immediately tried to migrate away from me. It was well known in my classes that who ever got stuck sitting near me, whether because they were assigned near me or just the last to sit down, they were the unlucky ones. The seat directly next to me was always empty.
Not that I had a problem with no one sitting next to me. I'm fact I highly preferred it.
During most of class I was able to work efficiently but at some point my teacher's droning tone started to put me to sleep.
I was back in that place again. The water veiled space. It was so vast and cold, I could feel goosebumps climb up my arm. This time I could hear something. I could hear words without a real voice. "Find me." They said. "Let me out. I'm trapped." They urged. The frustration I felt for not being able to hear them. Their voice.
"Where?" I whispered back. The room sounded too loud and vast for me to speak any louder than that. "You know where." The words felt closer. "You're in it."
That's when I saw it. Right before jerking awake to the bell going off.
My teacher came over with concern written on her face. "Skylar, are you okay?" She asked once everyone had left before me. I couldn't hold my tongue, "I saw it." I said.
My teacher's brows knit together. "Saw what?"
"Perfection."