As the horses of the holy knights passed in the capital, people began to bow. Where there was an abundance of holy knights, the Saintess or the Pope weren't far away. Soon enough, the carriage carrying Adelie soon passed by. She looked at them and turned to the Captain of the Holy knights with a smug look, her eyes clearly telling of her victory.
"Captain Yeri, could you please tell me what those people outside the carriage are doing right now?"
"They're….bowing, your holiness."
"And they're bowing because?"
"We're passing through, your holiness."
"And who made this possible?"
"You, your holiness."
"That's right. I did this. I remember the doubt you all had and the looks of disbelief you directed at me when I told you I was going to restore our lost honor. Who's on top now, Captain Yeri?"
He chose not to respond, directing his gaze anywhere but her face.
"Captain Yeri, that was not a rhetorical question. I would like you to answer it."
"You, your holiness."
"That's right. By the way, my current temple maiden is getting useless. She talks too much and she's way too curious. Please replace her."
"Your holiness, if I may, isn't it too soon to replace her? She's barely been with you for two weeks. If you replace her too soon, everyone would be suspicious. I ask that you persevere for a little longer….."
"Captain Yeri, I hope you realize that I no longer have to listen to what you or anyone else says. If I ask for my temple maiden to be replaced, then that is what must happen. Am I clear, Captain?"
"Yes, your holiness."
They stopped right in front of the main palace, a privilege only given to the higher class. They were escorted to the royal consort's palace and Adelie admired the sight as she walked past. As she stood in front of the reception room, she felt an ear splitting headache. She immediately fell to the ground, helped up by the captain of the holy guards. The maid immediately ran to call a physician but was met on the way by another maid who was going to call the royal physician for the royal consort. The nature of what happened was unknown but the saintess was immediately taken back to the church headquarters. In a few hours, she was already feeling better.
Captain Teri stood by her side and he watched as she lost her mind trying to figure out what happened. It was vaguely similar to when she collapsed out of nowhere a few weeks prior. In the eyes of the other high ranking members of the church, she was a ticking time bomb. That kind of thing irritated her to no end.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" She screamed, throwing an expensive vase to the ground. Captain Teri winced, an old habit from when the church was still struggling to survive. Times like this made him realize that the woman who arrayed herself like a peacock in front of the elders any given day was still a woman and she was still delicate.
"Get out!"
"I cannot leave, your holiness. I was instructed to watch you in case something else happened."
"You're mocking me, aren't you?!"
"..... unfortunately, I am not. Unlike what you think, I'm concerned about you, your holiness. I think you should still rest a little….."
"Did one of you do this?! DID ONE OF YOU BASTARDS SABOTAGE ME?!"
The worst part, he couldn't answer that question with a surety. An environment that was supposed to be sacred had become a place where stabbing each other in the back was something common. It was too depressing to even consider in a normal thought.
Something similar was happening in the palace. Because the king heard his royal consort collapsed, he cleared his schedule and immediately went to see her. However, when he saw she looked well, he thought it was a stunt.
"What happened?" He turned to the physician.
"I cannot say, your majesty. Her highness's pulse was fluctuating a few hours ago but now it's completely stable.
"You said the same thing when she fainted out of the blues! Are you all that useless?!"
"We apologize, your majesty" The physician and the maids bowed. He turned to her and found that she was just staring out of the window, motionless. Normally, she would protect them from his rage but she was unresponsive to both him and them. It frightened him for some reason.
"Alana, is everything okay?"
She slowly turned her head to him and dipped it slightly.
"I'm fine, your majesty. It's nothing serious like the physician said."
"Then you can rest for a couple hours. I think you're stressing yourself out too much these days so you should definitely give yourself a break. Perhaps we can go on a vacation for just a few days before the conference begins?"
"You don't need to go through all that, your majesty. Like they said, I am fine."
"I have to do it for my wife, if not anything. So, just this once, obey my desires, please?"
"Yes, your majesty."
He kissed her on the lips and forehead before heading back to resume his work. She knew he was going to be back later that day to spend the evening with her. But what was plaguing her was something bigger, something that could easily break the balance of their relationship.
"Your highness, are you sure we shouldn't inform his majesty?"
"A word from you and you will lose both your tongue and your eyes. If only I can get to talk to the Saintess….."
"The saintess collapsed the same time you did, your highness. I doubt the church would let her come out."
"Send a message to her for me. We will meet secretly. Now, all of you, get out."
Once she was sure they were our, Alana pressed her face to the pillow and screamed. Every time she brought her face up, her face would be covered in tears. She didn't stop screaming until her voice was too hoarse to continue.
"Why? Why? Why? WHY?! Why me?! What did I do to deserve this?! Doesn't anyone think I've suffered enough?! Why won't you let me have children?!"
In her past life and now, she had been unable to conceive. It troubled her for a long time, especially since she wasn't able to find a solution and Natalia already bore two children of her own. Fredrich didn't like or hate his children since they came from the woman he didn't love but they were still his. Although both children died in the end, causing their mother great grief, Alana still wasn't able to have a child of her own. Even though she was with the man she loved, she would never be able to have his children. If she wasn't, he would eventually find someone else to bear his children, abandoning her like he abandoned Natalia.
Just like Natalia, death was her only escape. Real or fake, she just had to do it. She started to regret marrying him in the first place. It wasn't like she had a choice in the first place since he practically killed her family to get the throne so faking her death was her escape from him.
"Leilin, where are you?" She sobbed. Few seconds passed and she felt a presence behind her. She turned to see Leilin standing by the edge of the bed.
"Leilin!"
{Why are you crying, Alana?}
"I cannot bear a child, Leilin. He will leave me and I will be abandoned again. I don't want this, Leilin."
{He won't abandon you. He loves you}
In the past, he truly did not abandon her. It was because he already had children so he didn't need any more. But when the children died, he started to change little by little. He actually wanted to make Natalia his consort so she could bear another child for him. Perhaps that was what pushed her to suicide. But there were many things they did to her so anything could've pushed her to suicide, including personally poisoning her children.
"This must be my karma, Leilin. I tried to be good in this life. I didn't want to bother anyone. I didn't do anything to her in this life. Yet why? Why can I not conceive?"
{Perhaps it is karma, perhaps it is something else. I will try to talk with the goddess of fertility to see if she can help you. Don't worry, Alana. I will not abandon you.}
Even though she could see solemn promise in Leilin's eyes, Alana found it hard to believe her. Still, it wasn't like there was someone else who could help her. She sighed and cleaned her eyes. The king would be coming in anytime soon for them to have dinner together.
{Alana, perhaps you should try ascending. If you can at least transcend the law of karma, you may get what you wish for. It's worth a try}
"You say that but Ascension is not as easy as it sounds."
{Which is why I would be helping you}
A knock on the door interrupted them. The maids informed her of the King's coming.
"Do what you must" Alana solemnly said to Leilin. The latter nodded and left.