New Haven, Fall
"Come on! Open up!" Kevin shouted with his fist pounding the door.
The cinched-up tie itched like a noose around his neck. The gray suit jacket Julianna had forced him to wear felt too tight, even on his barely-there biceps, and pressed like an anvil against his average chest from the tapered cut. Futile as it was, he snapped and pulled down the fabric on his arms to stretch meager gains of room along his back so he could breathe, but it did little to alleviate the constraint. The skin on his thighs itched from the thin fabric that did nothing to hold back the wind, and his toes ached from the cheap, black dress shoes he bought the day before. Being thoroughly uncomfortable from head to toe, he wondered how he had even let his mother talk him into coming over for dinner.
He pinched the fabric against his groin. "Whose idea was it to make men's suits so skinny?" Kevin said. "Whoever it was, I want to kick his ass. I can't breathe in this thing."
'Sure." Julianna's lips pursed and her eyes rolled. "Like you could beat up anyone Kevin."
"Oh yeah?" Kevin flexed the arm hers was wrapped around. "Feel that lady."
She gave the bicep a squeeze, as if testing the softness of a tissue roll. "Wow, I stand corrected." she quipped, then pulled him down and planted a peck on his cheek, just light enough not to mess up her lipstick. "My hero," she whispered in his ear before she pulled away.
Grumbling, Kevin picked and pulled at his suit.
"Stop fidgeting; you're going to wrinkle it," she replied. "Besides, you look handsome."
She leaned in and pressed the small, white circular doorbell. The chime echoed inside the house with a ding and slow dong.
"I hope you kept the receipt Jay, because I'm taking this back right when we're done here."
A smirk made Julianna's face even prettier under the light from the porch lamp. "Don't lie to me. You never take anything back. We just donated a whole bag of clothes of yours that still had tags on them."
Kevin frowned then stood up straight. "But this time, I mean it. I'll walk out of here naked just to keep this suit pristine if I have to."
The light made Julianna's red lipstick glisten as she laughed. There was a hint of smoky eye shadow that highlighted her light brown eyes and perfectly curled eyelashes. Diamond-shaped earrings sparkled as she moved. A tight French braid swept over her forehead and melted into her hair. She wore a thin, black, wool trench coat that was loosely cinched at the waist and stopped at the top of her leg. He tried to convince her to wear something heavier since it looked too small for the cold, but Julianna refused, protesting that it was the only coat she owned that wouldn't crease her dress underneath. Eventually, he realized that it wasn't worth bringing up again.
As they waited for the door to open, Kevin felt the swirling winter air that had descended on New Haven; it chilled him to the bone. Shivers ran through his body, and he blew into his hands again while pumping his knees. If he were that cold, then Julianna must have felt glacial standing on the porch, exposed to the elements with nothing but a thin coat to keep her warm. Yet, she didn't show her discomfort. She held his arm tighter to her body, her back remaining regally straight.
Hearing no sounds coming from inside the house, Kevin pounded the red door with his fist hard enough to make the metal door knocker clang with each blow.
"C'mon mom, it's freezing out here!" he shouted with the final swing.
"Sssh!" Julianna admonished and pulled his arm down. "It's not even that cold." Her brow furrowed. "Is everything okay? You seem to be colder than usual these days."
"I'm fine. Seriously, I was only kidding," he smiled at Julianna to put her at ease, which was much better than telling her the truth. "But this material is incredibly thin."
Instinctively, the fingers on Kevin's free right hand moved over the fabric of his dress shirt, and between the taunt buttons. Now when his fingers touched his chest, there was nothing there. The space where his symbol normally would be was devoid of energy and warmth.
The truth was, in the few months that they had dated since the party, Kevin and Julianna's time together had been wonderful. He had never let anyone get close to him before her. Not even Warren. But Julianna was like an ace fighter pilot that could maneuver past his metaphorical defenses. Since they both worked for BCR, they were together almost every waking moment—and he still never tired of her presence. They usually spoke on the phone while he drove to work, and they always ate together at Kevin's desk, no matter how much the guys in collections ribbed him for it. Julianna had nearly as many clothes at his place as Warren, and even kept a toothbrush on his bathroom counter for sleepovers. She had stabbed deep into his being in those months, and it was enough to keep the power at bay.
The power waned because of the good, positive feelings Julianna helped manifest that silenced the voice and dimmed the well of energy it normally cultivated. As a reaction, his body was colder without the power, after spending years used to the heat and friction it created. He was transforming from a Mega and acclimating into a normal human being that was encountering the elements again for the first time in years. Just regular, normal Kevin Jones who got cold from gusts of wind.
The experience of normalizing should have been off-putting and jarring, but often, Julianna was there to fill the warmth that the power left behind. He could no longer play the failed Mega, but it was worth abdicating that broken crown if it meant he could be with her more often.
"Stop!" Julianna whined as Kevin's fist inched up towards the door. But before he could pound it again, the door opened in a rush of warm relief from inside.
"Hi!" Caitlyn panted. Sweat dampened her face as she fumbled with a round, purple earring on her left ear.
"Sorry, I had to pull something out of the oven, then finish getting dressed."
"It's okay, Mrs. Jones," Julianna said. She smiled and reached out her hand.
Kevin's mother took it in both of hers and led her inside. "Oh honey, you're freezing! I'm so sorry. Come in. Come in already and make yourself at home."
"I'm fine, too, mom," Kevin muttered as he followed the two inside. It was crowded in the small foyer, but he was happy to be out of the cold.
"Quiet, Kevin," his mom rebuked, then turned back to Julianna. "Here, let me take your coat."
The foyer was slick with melted snow that made Kevin slip when he closed the door behind them. Julianna, on the other hand, navigated it with grace. She pulled the trench coat off by the shoulder and revealed the black Etsuko style dress. The tight sleeves stopped at mid-forearm and covered her chest and shoulders in decorative, dark lace. It ended above the knee and was cinched around her curving hips with a thin, black belt and silver buckle. The black flats made her have to look up at him for once, which Kevin appreciated as he stood next to her proudly.
"My, that's a beautiful dress," Caitlyn said as she hung the coat on the wooden coat rack on the wall. "And I love those earrings."
Julianna touched the glimmering diamond earring in her right lobe.
"Oh, thanks. They were my grandmother's." She looked down at the dress and spread out the bottom with pinched fingers. "And yeah, this dress is useless where we work, but I fell for the marketing that said you could move from the boardroom to the bar in this." She looked up at Caitlyn and grinned. "But I've had it in the closet for months, and still don't know where the boardroom is at work, so I thought, what the heck?"
Caitlyn's high-pitched chortle brought Kevin back from admiring Julianna's beauty. His mother stood on black high heels but was still several inches shorter than Julianna. Her skin was smooth and hid her nearly fifty years. Her salt and pepper hair fell below her shoulders, and she wore an elegant dark purple dress with a portrait collar and loose skirt that bounced against the back of her legs as she led Julianna upstairs.
Still in the foyer, Kevin searched around before crouching at the edge of the separate stairway that led down to the dark basement.
"Where's the dog?" he shouted up to this mother as she and Julianna climbed the stairs to the living room.
Jordin, the bushy black and brown half German Shepard and husky dog that was his best friend throughout high school, should have already scrambled up from the basement after hearing his voice. He would have to keep her off him since she seemed to shed almost year-round, but it had been months since he had seen her last, and he looked forward to introducing her to Julianna.
"We put her in the garage," Caitlyn yelled back.
"What?" he stood up and put his arms out wide. "But it's freezing in there!"
Thumping steps moved quickly along the carpet from upstairs and stopped at the edge of the staircase. Caitlyn looked down at him, her face flushed as if she was about to burst.
"We have a heater in there. Besides, you know how she gets around females for some reason," his mother yelled in a whisper, both hands on her hips.
A grumble rose from Kevin's throat, but he knew his mother was not wrong. Even in high school, when he occasionally would have a girl over, just the sight of a woman would send a normally gentle Jordin into an angered frenzy. Her hair would stand in a line down her back like bristles, and her front paws would stiffen, spread out wide as she followed the girl's movements with piercing, brown eyes.
Still standing at the edge of the stairs, Caitlyn beckoned him rapidly with her hands.
"Now stop all that yelling and get up here. She's waiting. Now." That last word landed like an anvil, and Kevin sagged beneath its weight. His mother wasn't asking.
"Yes mom," he said softly, and promptly jogged up the steps.
Kevin's mood lifted when a savory, pepper and garlic aroma met him in the living room. The overhead chandelier light was on, but the gas fireplace to the left cast the room in an orange ambient glow that played like ocean waves on the walls. The eggshell-colored couch on his left was empty, but he noticed the occasion was special enough for his mother to have brought out the tan throw, embroidered with intricate maroon flowers. The glass coffee table in front of it was wiped spotless, its golden, iron base shined to pristine condition.
Julianna sat on the matching loveseat against the wall on his right, giggling as she played with his kid sister, Angie, who had climbed on her knees to play with her braid. His mom had dressed her in a simple pink dress and matching shoes and braided her hair into two pigtails that fell behind her back.
"Hi Kevin," she said as her tiny finger played with Julianna's intricate hair style, until he tickled her sides.
She wriggled under his fingers with an irresistible giggle that drew Julianna in. "Leave her alone, Squirt. You're going to crease her dress."
"It's okay," Julianna said with a look and pulled her back on her lap. "She's lovely."
Kevin shrugged, then followed an unmistakable crackling sound of beef being cooked in the kitchen. The table that stood just outside the kitchen was large, rustic, and made of solid wood that shined from a layer of lacquer. It could seat six people, even though there were only four in his family, ringed with tall wooden chairs that matched the hand-brushed finish. It was far heavier than it looked and sat on a large black iron stand that nearly broke his back when he had helped his dad haul it up the stairs years ago.
In the kitchen, an orange pan with creamy, white liquid sat on the black stove top, coming to a simmer from the gas fire beneath. A large saucepan was next to it with thin wisps of gray smoke winding from the top. His mother hunched over the stove in a plain white apron hastily thrown around her neck.
"Oh man, you're making beef stroganoff!" Kevin said and made his way inside.
"Well, I know it's your favorite, and it's not like I get to see you all the time," Caitlyn replied, then pinched his cheek. She leaned over and pulled the oven open, using a rag on her shoulder to inch out the center wire rack. A sweet, rich, fragrance made Kevin's stomach sing as she pushed a toothpick into the center of the two brown cakes that were baked next to each other.
"Almost done," Caitlyn said and gently closed the door again. She stood up just in time to catch Kevin stealing a small sizzling chunk of peppered steak from the pan, tossing the steaming piece into his mouth.
"Kevin!" she shouted beneath her breath so Julianna couldn't hear in the living room. "Did you even wash your hands?"
His cheeks puffed as he blew out warm air and chewed the molten hot, but savory meat. His tongue burned as he spoke. "Wash my hands? It's like a thousand degrees in that pan mom."
Her shoves were gentle but firm against his shoulder. "Get out Kevin! You're getting in my way."
"I thought you wanted me to help?"
"No, just leave it to me."
"I'll help Mrs. Jones." Julianna stood at the edge of the kitchen. Her arm swung back and forth from Angie at her side, who clasped her hand with both of hers and looked up at her with a snaggle-toothed grin.
Caitlyn's mouth drooped into a frown. "Oh no, honey, you're our guest. Guests don't cook, especially in that dress."
Julianna hung her purse on the back of a chair at the table and pushed her hair over her shoulders with both hands. "It's okay. Ask Kevin, I love to cook." She looked him in the eye as she passed Angie off, who bear-hugged both his legs like a little koala clutching a tree. "Besides, he talks about this dish all the time, so I want to learn how to make it, if you don't mind?"
His arms crossed over his chest—as much as they could in his snug jacket—before he gave up and leaned an arm on Angie's head. "I can cook, you know."
"Since when?" the two women said in unison, then laughed together. It always amazed him how the other sex could come together in such a tight bind of sisterhood when they cared about the same thing, but seemed to hate each other otherwise.
"Women," Kevin muttered to Angie. "Don't ever become one of those, okay?"
Her nose wrinkled up and eyes shut tight as she grinned, the missing front tooth making her look even more adorable. "Become what?" she asked. Kevin only smiled and gave her a peck on the forehead.
"Now take your sister out of here," Caitlyn said with a smack on his rear. "And tell your father the food is almost done."
Kevin breathed out and tried to walk, but Angie held onto his left leg tighter.
"You're going to wrinkle my pants, too, Squirt," he said to her, but she only giggled, and her grip went tighter in response. Seeing that the little girl wasn't going to relent, he was forced to duck walk, exaggerating his long strides as he lifted Angie off the ground with each step, that elicited whooping laughter. At the edge of the staircase he peeled Angie off, lifted her up, and held her under the legs as she wrapped them around his tight jacket, ensuring that it would match his wrinkled slacks.
Knowing what was to come, Angie held her ears as he leaned over the stairs and yelled, "Dad! The food is almost ready!" Jordin's subdued whining barks echoed from the garage and wafted up the stairs in response to his call, but there was no reply from his dad.
Caitlyn poked her head out of the kitchen. "Kevin! I told you to stop that," she stuttered, and he knew she was correcting a curse word in her head before she continued to speak.
"What? He can hear me," he looked at Angie. "He heard me, right?" Angie knew she shouldn't smile, but couldn't help it, and the two nodded together.
"What am I going to do with you two?" Caitlyn sighed. "Just stop yelling, and go down and get him, please. I have to show Julianna how to put this all together."
"Want to do me a favor, my beautiful little tulip of loveliness?" Kevin said to his little sister. "Can you go get dad?"
"What do I get if I go?" Angie asked in a mouse-like tone that belied her extortion attempt.
"How about I sneak you an extra piece of cake?"
The smile on his sisters face grew brighter and she said, "Okay. Deal."
He shook her little hand, then she climbed down off him and ran down the stairs in small plastic clicks from her shoes. Jordin whined and barked again from her presence in the basement, but he heard the clicks turn right towards his father's study.
"Dad! Dinner's ready!" She shouted, the noise melting further down the hallway as she went.
A quick inspection found that his suit was a wrinkled mess and stained from some grease on her tiny fingers, making it impossible to return later. All the movement made it at least feel less like a straitjacket. Swipes of his hands smoothed the front as best he could.
Julianna and his mother chatted like old friends as they moved around the kitchen, putting all the food together. On the table, the plates, spoons, forks, and butter knives were already set out for the five seats atop white cloth napkins. Sculpted wine glasses that tapered near the top were next to each setting, filled with a burgundy liquid, except for Angie's seat, where a plastic cup sweated condensation from the pink lemonade inside. Near the center of the table, a fresh oval-shaped loaf of white bread his mother perfected in the Dutch oven cooled on a wood cutting board, its top layer hardening to a thin, brown crust. Next to it was a large, round, wooden bowl. A matching wooden tong was half hidden by the tossed mixed vegetables and cheese inside that glistened with beige Caesar dressing.
When he looked up, Julianna traipsed slowly towards the table. She held another smaller bowl with both hands out before her like a person performing a sacred ritual that swished clear liquid with each step.
"Don't drop it," Kevin joked with a slight flinch, but Julianna kept her eyes on the vinegar in the bowl.
"Shut up, Kevin," she said, not reacting to the movement until she carefully sat the bowl down next to the salad, smiling after not having spilled a drop. The smell of the tangy vinegar that smothered the limp cucumbers and thin cut onions rose from the bowl. His stomach grumbled; the anticipation of the delicious meal almost more than he could bear.
"You went all out, mom," Kevin said, taking in the aroma with sniffs, then looked at his mother who was still in the kitchen. "Cucumber salad, too?"
The cucumber salad was the perfect bitter compliment to the savory beef stroganoff, and the thought of crunching a slice topped with the cream sauce made his mouth water. Caitlyn winked at him as she walked to each plate with the black pan, scooping out steaming sauce covered egg noodles in generous portions.
Julianna rubbed his arm and whispered in his ear. "I have no idea how she made that cucumber salad. It was already in the fridge when we got here."
"Don't worry, it's not hard. I'll show you," he replied, warmly rubbing her hand for even wanting to know.
Kevin walked Julianna to the long side of the table close to the window and pulled out the chair for her, eliciting a slight nod of satisfaction and a smile from his mother.
"Well, who do we have here?" a pleasant voice asked beyond the table. Still holding the chair, Kevin looked up, and saw his dad walking towards them with a stunted gait as Angie giggled and clung to his leg.
"Howard, this is Julianna," Caitlyn said, her face beaming as if she had introduced the queen of England.
"Hi, Mr. Jones," Julianna said sheepishly, straightening her dress to stand and reach out her hand.
Howard leaned over the table and shook her hand with a warm smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Julianna."
As he leaned over, Kevin could smell his signature Old Spice scent. Howard stood over six feet tall, a trait he would have appreciated more than the bad stomach he inherited. His gray hair thinned near his temples, but there was still enough to give him a smart, textured crop. Wrinkles creased his forehead and the corner of his eyes behind thick dark glasses but were just enough to give his face a dignified air. A five o'clock shadow, that was more white than black, framed his wide, pinkish lips. The top of his father's khaki pants were more wrinkled than Kevin's from Angie's ride, but he hid it well beneath a light brown vintage sports coat that still had the dark brown patches stitched on the elbows, like something from an eighty's sitcom.
His father produced a silk cloth from his breast pocket and proceeded to clean his glasses.
"Kevin," he said with almost an imperceptible nod.
"Dad." Kevin replied, just as cold.
"You look skinnier since last time I saw you," Howard looked up, squinting as he made circular motions with the hand that held the glasses. "Here, around the chest area."
"Dear Lord, Howard," Caitlyn breathed out.
He looked at her with a puzzled expression. "What?" he replied, perfectly drawing out the word.
His father had perfected the word, saying it in such a genuine tone that it was difficult to tell if he actually knew what he said was a mistake. Julianna looked between the two of them, not daring to move. The situation made Kevin's neck start to sweat.
"Everyone sit before the food gets cold," Caitlyn said, clapping to cut the awkward silence.
She peeled Angie from Howard's leg by the arm and led her away. Free from the encumbrance, Howard walked to the far end to take his spot at the head of the table. Julianna edged over the chair Kevin had pulled out closest to his dad, and he slid it beneath her as she sat. He took the chair next to her and smoothed out his jacket on his lap. His mother sat at the other end from Howard, while Angie climbed up onto the tall chair to her left across from the couple, having the entire opposite side to herself.
Howard leaned in over the plate of food and took in a deep breath of the garlic, pepper, and cream sauce. "This smells wonderful, honey." He looked up at Caitlyn with his glasses full of steam from the warm plate.
"Daddy, your glasses," Angie sniggered in a low tone because her hands covered her mouth. Howard's eyes went cross-eyed as he looked down, making his sister laugh even harder before he took off the offending pair to clean again.
"Can we eat now? It's getting cold," Kevin said. His stomach grumbled like a cement mixer, so loud that he had to squirm in his seat. A smile sprinted on Julianna's face because she had grown used to hearing the strange noises his stomach often made, making the joke that it was talking to her whenever her head lay there.
Howard put on his glasses. "Julianna," he said, ignoring his son's pleas. "Do you mind if we say a prayer before we eat?"
She shook her head. "No sir, we do the same thing at my house."
Before they even started dating, it only took Kevin days of talking to Julianna to find out that they had religion in common. They both had a similar upbringing that included church, bible study, vacation bible school and, of course, the pensive rebellion of it all when they reached their teens. It was only recently that they had both taken steps to get back into organized religion together, finding a non-denominational church that satisfied them both. Caitlyn already knew that information, so it was more than likely his father knew as well, and it was just one of the small tests Howard liked to give people.
Howard nodded his approval at Julianna. "Very good. Everyone, please hold hands and bow your heads."
Julianna slipped her hand in Kevin's; it was warm and damp with anxious perspiration. He rubbed his thumb over the top of hers to ease the apprehension. Julianna smiled and her fingers tightened in reaction before she closed her eyes.
"Heavenly Father," Howard said. "Thank you for this bountiful food. Bless my wife for her hard work, and I ask that you watch over our guest, Julianna, as we welcome her into our home. Amen."
"Amen," the table said in unison. Kevin gave Julianna's hand a squeeze and she turned at him and smiled again.
His dad mixed the noodles and sauce with his fork, twisting it several times before putting a portion into his mouth.
"Mhm," he exclaimed while chewing. "See, Kevin. Still hot." Then winked behind his glasses.
Kevin's eyes narrowed at his father as he stabbed cucumbers from the bowl and piled them on his plate. The vinegar ran off the vegetable pile and mixed with the cream sauce. Then, after a few twists to the noodles, his palate exploded with buttery cream sauce and a hint of garlic that mingled with the peppery steak he ensured was in the bite. His father was correct that the food was still warm, and each satisfying bite made it worth the wait.
The bread loaf crunched and splintered as Caitlyn cut off a slice on the blunt end with a silver bread knife.
"You want some bread, sweetie?"
"Sure," Kevin said and lifted his plate.
"Yes, ma'am, that would be great. Thank you." Julianna replied, smirking, and looking at him with the side of her eyes.
Caitlyn shook her head at her spoiled son and tossed the round stump end of bread onto his plate, then cut a fresh slice from the loaf and passed it to Julianna's plate. Across from him, Angie was unwilling to wait for the adults. Her face was the picture of concentration as she used both small hands on the wooden tongs and struggled to pull out an over-sized portion of salad, sending bits of tomato and lettuce spilling over the side. The worry lines on his mother's brows creased, and she stole the tongs from her daughter to finish pulling out the salad for her plate.
Julianna's eyes closed as she chewed. A low moan escaped her lips. "Oh my," she said, then swallowed. She pointed at the stroganoff several times with her fork. "Kevin, you were not lying. This is amazing, Mrs. Jones."
"Told you," he said between chews.
Nails dug into his pant leg. "I just said you did," Julianna said sweetly, but her eyes flashed a more vulgar tone. His girlfriend had very little peeves, as almost nothing seemed to get under her skin but, 'I told you so's' were on the short list.
That compliment seemed to be the signal Caitlyn needed to eat, as she finally forked out her own morsel of stroganoff.
"Thank you, hon," she said as she took a delicate bite of the noodles.
"Can you pass the bread, please?" Howard said to no one in particular. Without looking at him, Kevin slid the serrated knife and cutting board down the table next to the cucumber salad that Howard left nearly empty. The bread crunched with each pull of the knife as he cut off a slice.
"So, Julianna," Howard said. "Tell us about yourself?"
"Yes," Caitlyn said, and sat down the salad bowl she had used to add to her own plate. "It seems like you two have been dating for so long you would think we would know more about you by now."
"It's only been a few months," Kevin swallowed hard. "And I know what you're trying to say, mom."
She touched her chest in dramatic fashion.
"What?" she said, in the same perplexed tone his father gave earlier. "It's been five months already, Kevin," Caitlyn continued. "I am just saying, you don't date often, so a mother should meet the woman that got her son off the couch when she couldn't."
He could feel the sticky sweat cool on his collar. "Had it been five months already?" he wondered.
"Well, with comments like that mother, I can't believe I never brought her over before now," he replied.
Julianna pressed her hand to her mouth and snickered behind it.
Caitlyn had hinted at the dinner several times before they agreed on a date, almost insulted that they went to visit her family before his. He had met Julianna's family weeks prior, but that felt like a different experience. While her kin were normal human beings, his family seemed to be deprecating manifestations the voice had sent to speak when it couldn't. Even Angie, as her child innocence was able to blurt out the hurtful truth at any moment.
But there was something else that had stayed his hand and kept Julianna away from his family. Although visiting Julianna's family went well, something happened during the introduction which had stuck to Kevin like an annoying splinter beneath his skin ever since. In the Jones' backyard, he found himself alone with her father, Josep, next to the barbecue that still smoldered with heat from the applewood inside. Julianna was inside with her mother, chatting and cleaning up. Josep's skin was a shade darker than Julianna's and hardened to leather from his time out in the sun. Josep was only a few inches taller than Kevin but was broad and muscular from years of manual labor.
When he and her father talked while sharing beers, Kevin expected the usual, 'What are your intentions with my daughter?' type of question. A lifetime of television and coming of age movies had prepared him for that moment. Yet, he was struck with something much more profound when her father asked instead, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
It was such an uncomplicated yet poignant question that cut deep as Kevin stumbled to answer it. Before dating her, he would have answered something about wanting to be employed and not homeless, outlining the depth of his ambition. But now that he was gifted with Julianna, he knew currency had to be invested, cultivated, and spent wisely. He had to be more to suit her. With Julianna in his life, there were so many variables to consider that were not previously there, and he asked Josep for time to ponder the question.
Her father did not respond right away. Instead, he gave a weak smile as if disappointed, but didn't press further. Mr. Jove never mentioned it again that night, but Kevin could sense that he had given the wrong answer—or at least not the answer Josep wanted to hear, which still eluded his understanding. It colored any rapport they could have had. He never told Julianna about the conversation, but it had created a hairline fracture of doubt about their relationship, as Kevin pondered whether he was worthy of her. Trying to avoid a similar situation with his own family, he had postponed the introduction as long as he could, which seemed futile given the results so far.
"So, I heard that you were going to college. Is that right?" Howard said, and Kevin sighed. It was only a matter of time before the community college professor brought up education—or Kevin's lack thereof that seemed to stick like a needle in the history teacher's eye.
"Yes, sir," Julianna said. "Just two semesters left. Finger's crossed."
"Oh!' Caitlyn whooped. "So, that's what, six more months left there about? I bet you're excited."
A hand covered Julianna's mouth as she nodded and chewed quickly.
"More like nervous," she said after swallowing. She glanced in Kevin's direction. "I feel like I have a countdown now and can't figure out what I want to do next."
His mother reached over Kevin's plate and rubbed Julianna's hand, looking her in the eyes.
"Well, that's the fun part, hon. Getting out into the world and figuring yourself out." She leaned back in her chair and waved her hands across the table for emphasis. "Ask Howard. It took me months after I graduated to figure out what I wanted to do. So, I think you'll be fine."
"Much better than someone over there," his father chimed in with a mirthful tone, and pointed to Kevin with his butter knife. "His sister will graduate before he does."
Silverware clanged against a plate. "Howard, my God, really?" Caitlyn gasped.
"What?" His father's smile broadened.
"You're embarrassing him!"
"Cat, he knows I'm joking," Howard leaned forward and peered over his glasses, mouth frowning. "Kevin, you know I'm kidding, right?"
The corner of Kevin's mouth tightened up and he gave his father a tilted nod. Beneath the table, Julianna's fingers intertwined with his and she pulled his hand into her warm lap.
"He'll graduate one day," she said, her voice confident and without a hint of frivolity as she peered into Kevin's eyes. "Kevin's smart, funny, and talented. He's just pacing himself." Any anger he felt from Howard's words was lost in her eyes.
"Pacing himself?" Howard straightened with a chuckle and pushed his glasses up his nose. There was a pause for emphasis before Howard dug his utensils back into the noodles. It would take a hummingbird to see the nearly imperceptible nodding of his head as he twisted the noodles on his fork. "Kevin, I have no idea how you pulled this off, but you need to keep this one. She actually believes in you."
Caitlyn's utensils clanged against her plate again. Holding the edges of the table, she glared at Howard in exasperation, but Kevin ignored the exchange he had already seen a million times between his parents.
He mouthed a thank you to Julianna and put his hand over hers. No one had ever stood up for him before. The fact that she had intimidated his father on the first day of meeting him didn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. He didn't think it was possible, but Julianna had just reached a new plateau of eminence in his mind.
"Well, I plan to," he finally said to his father, but his eyes never left hers, sharing in their unity.
"Good," Howard said, head down, still chewing. "You two should get married."
That declaration forced Kevin's gaze from Julianna's face.
"Oh, come on now, dad." Howard just stared at him, slowly moving his jaw, as if he hadn't said anything at all. "Now you're just being obscene."
"You're using that word wrong." Howard countered quickly.
"You should, Kevin," Angie interjected between smacks, forgoing the fork to put individual noodles into her mouth from her plate. "I like her. Then she could braid my hair like hers and play like she promised to."
Howard shrugged, his face a carbon copy of smugness. He pointed at his little sister as if a priest had blessed his preposterous suggestion. Julianna looked down, her brown skin turning pink as she played with the napkin on her lap. Even as she peered down, Kevin could see a wan smile spread on her face, bemused by the situation. Two of his family members had already pounced on him like jackals, and he had lost his only ally.
Kevin glared at his sister, and said through gritted teeth, "You be silent, woman!"
Angie blinked, but the blank expression on her face never wavered as she replied softly, "I thought you didn't want me to be one of those?"
Kevin pointed a finger at her and suppressed a smile, "I knew you heard me earlier!" Then, he turned to his mother and pleaded for rational assistance, "Mom, a little help please?"
Caitlyn chewed on her fork. "Well, it's not exactly a crazy idea to start thinking about, Kevin."
"Really? You too, mom?" he said in exasperation. "This isn't the eighteen-hundreds anymore."
"Oh, don't be so dramatic, honey," she said. "Your father and I were married by your age. And well, there is nothing wrong with planning ahead."
Betrayed on all sides, Kevin knew that he had to defend himself or lose the narrative for the rest of the night. It could be Howard's declaration that would give Julianna the sliver of doubt he couldn't afford—just when he was finally getting used to having her around.
"That's because, mother," he said to Caitlyn, "people had to pair up during the Cenozoic period for warmth and survival. Nowadays, we can take our time."
Julianna buried her face in his arm, and her shoulders bobbed up and down. Her laughing breath was warm in his fabric. He smiled, knowing that she was now firmly back on team Kevin and Julianna.
His mother's face hardened. "That's not funny, Kevin," she said, patting down the gray part of her hair.
"What's the cenzo period?" Angie said as she bit off a piece of bread.
Kevin turned to his father and pointed at Angie with his hand. "And you're a history teacher?"
The quip seemed to annoy his father, who looked at him with narrowed eyes, and slowly tongued morsels of food out of his back teeth. The joke had one important fan. Julianna squeezed his hand tighter, and her head fell further down his arm so that he had to stifle a laugh of his own.
They had only been together a short amount of time, and they were still young. There had been jokes about marriage between the two with the amount of closet space he was losing and how quickly Julianna cluttered the bathroom vanity. But the two had not discussed it in detail, or with jokes aside. He was still a boy, who couldn't even answer a simple question from her father. Marriage seemed like an absurd notion at that moment in their relationship.
Composed again, Julianna straightened up; her cheeks were a cherry red as she carefully dabbed the tears from her eyes with her napkin and blew out a long breath.
"Wow okay, I wasn't expecting all of this," she said.
After a long drink of wine, Kevin said, "Well, I tried to warn you. I told you these two were mentally deranged."
"Careful now Kevin Jones," Caitlyn said in a slow, deep tone. Her face trembled as she admonished him with her eyes, until she burst into laughter. "Okay, Howard, it looks like we've embarrassed him enough." She smiled over her glass at Julianna as she took a sip of wine.
Kevin looked between his mother and father who seemed to have plotted the entire humiliating scenario together. "Yeah, no kidding, mom. You two done already?"
Awe, my poor baby," Julianna said, still laughing as she rubbed his cheek with the palm of her hand. Her eyes softened. "But, Julianna Jones, it has a nice ring to it. Doesn't it?"
Now it was Howard's turn to bellow with a laughter that echoed in the dining room, breaking his strait-laced character. Caitlyn laughed as well, winking at Julianna as she sipped more wine. His sister laughed in soft giggles, as well, although the confusion on her face said she did not quite seem to know what was so funny.
Kevin couldn't help but join in. It was an astute joke told masterfully by his girlfriend, and he had to give her credit. It shredded any remaining tension, and practically ingrained her status as one of the family by joining in on the ribbing. For him, it was worth the heat, since it was all in mirth, but that feeling lasted only until he looked in Julianna's eyes again.
To Howard and Caitlyn, what she said appeared to be a joke, but Kevin knew Julianna like no other. There was something behind her soft, brown eyes that glistened as she looked from Caitlyn and Howard laughing. They hid a truth he had not perceived before that moment. A truth that hit him harder than any bullet against his aura shield. Her countenance, along with that smile and the soft touch of her fingers beneath the table, were all pieces of a puzzle that, when pulled together, implied that perhaps Julianna had seriously thought about marriage before. The thought lasted only an instant, but Kevin shook it off quickly, fearing he was reading into something that wasn't truly there.
Yet, the speculation made a sharp pain tinge Kevin's stomach as if a fiery pebble had been dropped down his throat.
"You okay, son?" Kevin looked up at Howard, whose dark brown eyes were sharp behind his glasses.
"Yeah. Yeah dad, I'm fine," he replied in a low tone, and slipped his hand out of Julianna's. His fork turned over the noodles that didn't seem as appetizing as before, with the cream sauce turning brown from the air. He thought about the question Mr. Jove had asked, and the answer seemed even more elusive.
"Julianna, what are you majoring in, if you don't mind me asking?" Howard asked as he swiped a piece of bread through the cream sauce and tossed it into his mouth.
Julianna gave Kevin a queer look as she sensed his trepidation, then turned to Howard, steepling her now empty hands in front of her.
"Uhm, I'm a graphics design major," her voice trembled, but the composure returned. "You know, pamphlets, images, symbols, logos, wedding invitations. Things like that."
"You create them yourself?" Caitlyn asked. "From start to finish?"
"Mhm," Julianna gave an embarrassed, repressed smile. "Right now, I use a Mac that's almost on its last leg. I'm trying to guilt my dad into getting me a new one as a graduation present."
Caitlyn cleared her pallet with more wine. "That's very interesting. Is there a huge market for that here in New Haven? Graphic design, I mean."
"Well, yes and no. With the way the city is growing, I'm feeling out interest in local companies. Savoy Industries is hiring."
"Savoy Industries?" Howard said. "Funny you should mention them because I met Tomas Savoy recently."
His mother leaned forward on the table. "Really, Howard? You never told me this," she said. Kevin noticed that her face seemed to contort with what he thought was mild annoyance.
Ever oblivious, Howard nodded and swallowed. "Yes. It was at a NHCC luncheon about an important exhibit we're trying to obtain at the local museum. We actually had a really good talk, he and I. We've been exchanging emails sporadically ever since. I could speak to him for you, Julianna, if you'd like. See if they have any openings at his company?"
Julianna exhaled. "Oh no, Mr. Jones. Thanks, but I don't know. I know it would be great working for such a large company, but I did some research, and I am not really feeling their...ethics? If that makes sense."
"Good girl. A woman with integrity," Caitlyn said with a nod of pride. "So, if not with Savoy, do you have other places you are looking at?"
"Well, there are other strong local companies, but it's nothing like what you would see in Eugene or, uhm, Portland." Her eyes glanced over at Kevin, knowing his negative feelings towards that city. "Or L.A.!" The smile returned to Julianna's face as she spoke. "L.A. is a mecca for graphic designers with all the industries there."
"L.A.?" Kevin asked.
The night had been full of new revelations.
It was the first he had heard that Godawful Californian city as a possible destination for her. The Jones family had taken a vacation to L.A. when he was younger, and it wasn't great, to say the least. The taxi driver, who reeked of urine and motor oil, had taken them to the wrong hotel, then driven off with his father's money without giving back his change, a hefty twelve-dollar tip. Angie was a baby at the time and whaled incessantly throughout the trip. They later found out she was infected with croup that had spread throughout the over-priced hotel. His mother's foot was cut by a piece of glass on the beach that later became infected, as well, and he was shocked by the filthy, skid rows that seemed to dot every other street downtown. It was a step above Portland, for sure, but only by a few degrees, as far as he was concerned. After the family left early, he was relieved to get back to his small, but clean town of New Haven, and promised himself he would never step foot in that hellhole city ever again.
"Well yeah, L.A.," Julianna answered. "There are so many companies and start-ups there that I can intern with to get my foot in the door."
The pain in Kevin's bowels spread to his diaphragm and pulsed like scalding water through his veins, making him wince. Looking around the table, his father was the only one who seemed to notice, but looked away, wiping his mouth with a napkin to cover his staring. He contemplated why Julianna had kept L.A. as a destination secret from him. Perhaps it was because she suspected how sour he felt about that city, or about big cities in general. It was enough to make him wonder if she wanted him to accompany her at all. His thoughts returned to her earlier expression, and he doubted himself once more. Maybe she was planning on ending their relationship when she graduated to get a fresh start?
There was no shame in admitting that he was a small-town guy. New Haven gave him all the amenities of a big city, but with a hometown feel. It was perfect for his nature, and he didn't feel bad saying it, but that was when he was only concerned with his own life. Now that he was in a relationship, he had to think about what Julianna wanted, as well. They were quickly becoming one instead of two. Or so he thought until that instance. From what he witnessed so far, Julianna was a well of creativity and ideas that seemed to overflow one after the other. Perhaps she needed a much bigger canvas than New Haven could provide.
As if she could read her son's thoughts, Caitlyn asked, "So, you would move then, Julianna?"
Kevin breathed out. "What's with all the questions, mom? And you too, dad," his hand went to his girlfriend's thigh beneath the table. "She has to keep all the options open." Their eyes found each other again, and it was Julianna's turn to mouth a thank you.
Caitlyn, feeling the rebuke from the united couple, leaned away and picked up her glass of wine to take a drink. "I just don't want anything to happen to you two, is all," she replied in a somber tone that Kevin noticed.
Julianna leaned over and placed a peck on his cheek. He allowed her hand to slip back into his under the table as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Jones. I don't plan on anything happening to us." Her jaw tickled Kevin's shoulder bone as she spoke, and he smiled inwardly. The pain that had moved to his sternum seemed to ebb from her proclamation, believing that she meant every word.
Bored by all the grown-up talk, Angie held her head up by her palm, elbows digging into the table, and lazily stabbed at the nearly empty plate before her.
"Can we have cake now?" she whined.
The wholesome way she spoke made Howard smile while he chewed. Normalcy descended on the table, and the rest of the dinner went on without another road bump, even though Kevin found it hard to concentrate with the whirlwind that clouded his thoughts. Julianna charmed his parents with her honesty, excitement, and laughter, while Angie fawned over her as if she were the big sister she always wanted. Even Howard contributed to the mirth with his unintentional bouts of humor and humiliating stories about his students and moments from Kevin's childhood. Kevin did his best to keep the conversations topical and light.
When the dinner had concluded, Caitlyn retreated to the kitchen to put the icing on the cake, with Angie hot on her heels, vinyl shoes patting the carpet, knowing better than to hold onto her mother's leg to catch a ride. Seeing that Julianna was able to survive his father as long as his mother was around, Kevin excused himself from the table.
Julianna grabbed his arm. "Are you okay? Is It your stomach again?"
With a shrug, Kevin replied, "Sometimes you have to pay what you owe, Jay. And the porcelain god demands his sacrifice."
"Gross, Kevin," she replied with a twisted mouth.
With a laugh, he laid a peck on her cheek. "I'll be right back."
He offered his father a nod as Howard twitched his eyebrows up. Kevin walked past the loveseat and down a long hallway but stopped just outside the bathroom door. He noticed that his former bedroom door was ajar further down the hall.
It was awkward growing up and having his room directly across from his parents' master bedroom. Music had to be low or listened to with headphones on, and any racy movies were watched in the darkness on mute, with the remote nearby in case his mother barged in without knocking. When he could convince a girl to sneak over in high school, it was a challenge to get her in outside of Caitlyn's designated times. If he could get her past Jordin, he also had to battle his mother's uncanny instincts that seemed to know when another female was present. Still, there were many good memories he had in that room, where he spent most of his time alone.
Curiosity tugged at him, and he wondered what his parents had done to his old stomping ground since their unceremonious parting. The door creaked as he pushed it in, just as it had done for years. Muscle memory made him click the switch on the left, and the room was flooded in a brown light, almost dingy in color since one of the bulbs in the ceiling fixture had burned out, and the other covered in dust. The air was stale and cold but had a welcoming aroma. The sliding door closest to his right was still empty. His queen-sized bed was still there, prominent in the middle of the room, with its broken faux wood headboard that Jordin had chewed at the edges, exposing the lighter grain within.
A large wooden chest was next to it, between the bed and double windows with faded curtains that Kevin knew was filled with old comic books, magazines, and childhood toys. It weighed nearly as much as their dining table and took up so much space that he was forced to leave the chest behind when he finally moved out. On top of the chest was an old laptop next to an empty fishbowl crusted with algae. In it, he once kept red lizard fire belly newts that skittered along the water surface. He smiled, remembering that no matter how hard he tried to keep them in with aluminum foil and tape, the little bastards always found a way out. The niche in the wall across from his bed where he had his TV was empty, except for a pile of cards neatly stacked on the middle of three shelves in the back.
He walked in further. The far wall behind his bed still held posters of football and basketball players he admired in his youth. Some curled at the edges from tape that lost its adhesion. He turned to his left, and his eyes widened when he saw that his mom had kept his prize possessions adorned along the wall. With hands in pockets, Kevin looked around and admired his work. As a child, he discovered superheroes in comics, an obsession that exploded when real life Megas were canonized within its pages. As a lark, he convinced Caitlyn to let him plaster his biggest wall with bagged and boarded comics. He had arranged them in a checkerboard pattern, stapling the sleeve so he could flip up the plastic flap to change out the issues based on his weekly rankings. They were still on the wall, their bags still gleaming and the issues inside as pristine as he had left them.
The door creaked again, and Caitlyn walked into his room alone.
"Where is Julianna?" he asked.
Rubbing her arms against the cold, Caitlyn replied, "She's with your father."
"You left them alone?" His father was hard enough to deal with when other family members were around. Thinking about how much worse his father could be in one-on-one situations, Kevin moved to intervene, but his mother caught him by the arm as he passed.
"She's fine," Caitlyn breathed and pulled him in. "They're getting along like peas in a pod. Listen."
Their voices were muted through the wall, but he could hear Howard speaking in the quick, higher-pitched tone that he always got whenever he grew excited about the topic. He couldn't imagine what it might have been about—perhaps some ancient civilization they both knew of, or maybe some political topic where they saw eye to eye, or even the subject of any ancient alien theory. His father was as practical and reasoned as one would imagine a professor to be, but his guilty pleasure was watching hours of alien shows and speculating about other civilizations.
Looking back at his mother, Kevin asked, "What are they talking about?"
"Music," Caitlyn replied with a chuckle.
"Music? What music?" he turned to face her. "I don't remember the last time I saw or heard dad listening to anything. Even in the car, he only listens to books."
"You don't know him as well as you think, Kevin." The stare his mother gave him was almost sympathetic. Then, she pulled his arm over her shoulder and turned toward his wall of comics. "And you need to give Julianna more credit. Right now, she's in that beautiful dress with your father, going through his record collection on the floor. He can't believe how much she knows about the classics."
Lost in thought, Kevin muttered "I guess I should give her more credit. But I have time."
His mother's hair smelled like peppered beef and sweet cake, reminding him how much work she had put in that evening. Kevin wrapped his other arm around her thin neck.
She reached up and held his forearms. "This jacket is really tight," she said, examining the fabric between her fingers. "But stylish. I'm surprised you're actually wearing something modern."
"Julianna likes it," Kevin sighed and chuckled. "I know, I've become whipped. I'm as bad as you dressing dad now."
"Oh, stop that," Caitlyn said. Kevin could feel her smile. She closed her eyes and swayed in his arms. "Julianna is amazing, Kevin. I am so happy for you."
Kevin smiled along with her. "Yeah. Yeah, she really is."
"Even Angie loves her."
"Who doesn't she love at first sight? I worry about that girl and stranger danger." Caitlyn huffed, but he gave her a squeeze to ensure that he was joking. Then, he paused from a devious thought. "Think Jordin will love her, too?"
Caitlyn turned to look up at him. "I wouldn't risk it," she laughed. "She's scared more than one of your exes away. Like that terrible Marny you dated."
"Marny," he breathed out her name. "In my defense, she was really, really tall. Great legs, longer than my body, with great jeans. Hips like a coke bottle."
"She was an amazon, Kevin," Caitlyn said dryly. "She nearly crushed me when we first met. And she was rude."
"Yeah, she was pretty bad. But she never wanted to come back after meeting Jordin. That girl really has a way of sniffing out the bad ones," Kevin replied. "But it all worked out. I'm really lucky to have Julianna."
"You're extremely lucky."
"Hey," Kevin moved his head away to the side so he could see her face. "I just said really lucky. I can pick my own adjectives."
"You mean adverbs." Caitlyn's mouth pursed like a fish, and she smacked his forearm with her hand. "You really need to go back to school, Kevin."
"Ow," Kevin exclaimed. "And you need to stop hanging around dad!" He pulled her in for a hug, and the two shared a laugh.
With his arms still wrapped around her neck, he stood behind her and together they admired the comics. He remembered a time when he had almost taken them down, tired of being made fun of at school for his hobby and getting beaten up again and again. But Caitlyn talked him out of it back then, imploring him to be himself. As far back as he could remember, and before Julianna blessed his life, Caitlyn was his best friend, and the only one that could force a relationship between he and his father. She was the glue that kept the Jones' family together, and he wouldn't have even ventured over that night if it wasn't for her persistence.
He glanced from comic to comic, wondering just how much money he put into his hobby. "I can't believe you kept all these up."
Caitlyn smiled and rubbed his arms. "Well, you left so suddenly, and it was such a bad time. I wanted to make sure you knew you were welcome to come back."
He squeezed Caitlyn tight, imagining the passive-aggressive things she had to put up with from his father just by keeping them up, probably in defiance of his wishes. His mother would scold him when he was wrong, but he always felt she had his back, even in admonishment. That was why he was surprised she played along with the whole marriage conversation at the dinner table. A woman who would put up with his father just to keep up some comic books on the wall would not have put him in such an awkward situation. There had to be something more, he supposed.
"So, what was with that wink you gave Julianna at the table when you trapped me with that marriage talk," he asked.
He felt Caitlyn tense in his arms. "You saw that?"
"How could I miss it? You two were practically talking in some subliminal, girl language across the table." He waited for her to answer. "So. Are you going to tell me?"
"It's nothing," she said, and rested her chin gently on his arm. He knew his mother only shut down when she was hiding something. It was interesting to him that Julianna did something similar whenever she tried to keep a secret.
"Tell me," Kevin whined, softly shaking her for emphasis. Caitlyn could never resist his whine. She always wanted him to grow up and be a man, but he reverted to a child at times because it worked. Angie was picking up on the tactic, too.
As he planned, Caitlyn relented. But, in the end, he wished that she had held her tongue.
"It's nothing. We just talked when we were cooking, and things came up," she paused. "You two came up. Your future together."
Kevin's eyebrow arched up and he wondered how deep their conversation could have been in such a short period of time. Curiosity peaked, "And?" He asked.
His mother hesitated before declaring with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Well, I told her that if you don't commit and ask to marry her soon, she would need to move on. That's all."
"What!" Kevin exclaimed. His arms weakened and loosened around her shoulders as he pulled away. "How could you do that to me!"
She had said it with such nonchalant confidence, that at first, Kevin thought it was yet another joke put on by his mother. Caitlyn clutched his forearms and held them in place with surprisingly strong hands. She never turned around to meet his eyes, but instead moved her head to look at each comic on the wall, as if she were studying art at a museum.
"I love you, baby, but you are so non-committal. And you never really plan ahead," her head bowed, but she held firm onto his limp forearms. "I never said anything, but Julianna reached out to me before tonight."
"Really?" Kevin replied. He remembered that once she had asked for her parents' number, and he gave it to her, never thinking she would call without telling him.
"Yes. We've been talking on and off for weeks now," Caitlyn continued. "Nothing really specific since we were saving it for tonight. But she has plans, Kevin, and a wonderful future, and you, well, if you can't just grow up and reach your own potential, then you shouldn't hold her back."
For the second time that night, Kevin felt as if he was splashed with water. Yet with Caitlyn, it steamed as it touched his skin, and trickled down his body in warm sweat. Air caught in his throat, making his tie feel even more constricting. He thought his parents' banter with him that night was to break the tension, but instead, they were the prelude to a Brutus level of betrayal. It was sabotage. His wonderful mother had conspired to light the fuse that would eventually lead to their demise.
"Don't be upset, Kevin," her hands squeezed his arms, voice cracking from emotion that cut off her breath. "House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. That's in the bible. She's a blessing, Kevin, and I truly did it because I love you."
"Unbelievable," was all Kevin could say to her.
Yet there was a nagging question that turned over in his thoughts: Was his mother wrong? He thought of all that had transpired. Julianna's amazing personality had cowed his intractable family into loving her in just one night. Angie already looked at Julianna as the sister she desired. She was also able to create a bond with Howard, which was something he could not accomplish in two decades plus of time together. Obviously, her mother loved her, as well, if she was able to throw her own son beneath the bus on her behalf. It was clear to anyone paying attention that she was special, a precious flower that would grow beyond New Haven.
"Where will you be in five years?"
The words of Julianna's father echoed like a cruel joke. Held by his mother's hands, he thought of Mr. Jove's question as an equation. Math was his least favorite subject, but even he knew that there were multiple variables affecting the total, and most variables were positive between him and Julianna.
One positive variable was the hope that Julianna had introduced into his life. So effective was its potency that it stifled the voice, and even improved his bill-collecting efforts at work. Just her presence made him look forward to waking up and going to work. The months with her were his most financially successful ever at BCR.
The equation was modified again when he added the fact that Julianna's own family seemed to enjoy his company. That bucked the norm when it came to the first impressions he usually made. More than once, relationships had ended after the first time he looked parents in the eyes, as they could sense his lack of commitment. Kevin enjoyed Julianna's family in equal measure, despite her father's question. Josep was easier to talk to than his own father, and far more down to earth. It did not feel like a chore to be around them, as it was with families in the past. The relationship with the Jove family certainly was a positive addition to the equation.
Now that the variables were set, and given all that he had learned that night, Julianna's life was the part of the equations put in parentheses that was supposed to be factored first. Graduation was just around the corner for her, and based off her grades and contacts, companies and jobs would soon be lining up to recruit her.
There was little doubt in Kevin's mind that Julianna could survive wherever she landed given her work ethic, brilliance, and charm—whether in the north, or even L.A. She could accomplish this with or without him. But, if he had read her body language correctly at the dinner table, Julianna did not want to go it alone.
Doing the math, at that point in their relationship, it seemed as though things were going well for their union. There was an overall positive total if he were to stop at just those variables. But there was one more twist to the equation that would change the aggregate. Even with terrible math skills, Kevin knew that something was missing.
Absent were his own positive contributions to the problem. Julianna had followed her dreams, working hard to graduate in her field of choice. For some of that journey, Kevin was by her side, playing the devoted boyfriend that wanted to do his best to lift her up when needed, and stay out of the way when necessary. Yet, what had he truly accomplished in that time that was not attributed to her?
In his youth, he dreamed of owning a store that catered to comics. In those daydreams, it was always named Kimota Comics in tribute to his favorite author—a name only a high school kid would think was cool. While people searched through his long boxes of back issues, the store would be filled with the sound of shouting pixels. Sometimes, in his wildest dream, Kimota Comics had a small arcade in the back, loaded with games that kids could play on flickering screens, searching for the next challenger. That dream died, however, when he was bored senseless while taking business classes in college, which eventually resulted in the friction with his father.
There was a second dream, but that too was crushed when he failed at being a Mega of any notoriety. He was more embarrassed than proud to admit to being Fiasco, and he counted it as a blessing that Julianna's presence had ended that portion of his life. The absence of Fiasco was the end of his ambition, but even that had been accomplished because of her. So, he wondered once more just what Julianna's benefits were for being with him.
Thinking of nothing positive he added to balance out his contributions, Kevin divided the sum total of the positives and negatives by their future prospects. Where Julianna's trajectory would lead to the stars and beyond, by his mother's own admission, his future most likely led to stagnation. In the end, he could hardly begrudge his mother's ultimatum to Julianna because she was right. How far could she truly rise when she was standing in quicksand?
There was only one singular result when he equaled out the expressions.
"In five years, you will be without her," the voice whispered. Kevin swallowed hard, his throat dry and aching, and felt his head nod in agreement.
"Are you okay, Kevin?" Caitlyn asked. She turned around in his arms and looked up into his face. Sweat misted her brow, and her dark, slate eyes were full of apprehension. The worry lines about her forehead were deep and furrowed as she studied his face. With the back of her hand, she traced his head and cheek, then moved her hand down to the center of his chest.
"It's suddenly so warm in here now, and your heart," she continued. "You're burning up."