"Magic is the life force, an extension of your own life even. Allow it to channel out of your hands and into your intended target" Su followed those instructions as he tried to force the magic inside him to comply.
It did not even so much as a bulge at his force.
As easy as it was to feel magic for Su, the same ability did not extend to his mastery of magic. It still felt like a hard rock Su was unable to move with the sheer force of his willpower.
Maybe he was doing something wrong but Su had no idea what he could be doing wrong. It was not like he could just ask the kid about this either. Magical usage was personal and different for most users.
"I can't force it to move" Su spoke those words out as his mental exhaustion resulted into a physical one. It felt like a heavyweight on Su's chest and Su forced his panic down as he concentrated.
"Of course, it won't budge when you 'force' it. It's not a solid mass for you to force. It's more like a viscous liquid you need to melt away at. Allow your willpower to become the flame and your body as a guide" the kid commanded as he circled Su. Su opened his eyes to take a look at the kid's gleeful face.
The kid found Su's humiliation to be fun, did he not? How could a kid turn out to be like this? He should have been a cute pup, but of course, Su was not that lucky.
Su tried to mold his willpower as a flame and couldn't help but feel like a failure. Was he even doing it right? Su had no prior frame of reference for what he should be doing or feeling.
"Move your magic like this" Su's body tensed as he left a small hand on his back. His magic force felt a small tug and Su left heat to travel through his body.
It was almost pleasant…
…Until it was not. It was fierce and all-consuming and it left Su reeling with the heat. His insides felt like they were melting as magic forced itself out.
"Focus it on your hand and release it. Don't try to shape it into an image just yet. Allow it to leave you" Su tried, he did focus on the voice and follow. But it was really difficult to be able to follow instructions when your body was on fire.
Su forced all his willpower in turning his mind empty and just pushing the magic out. He felt it respond, his arms growing numb from the heat and his fingers scorching hot.
Magic was too close and too consuming. It forced Su to let go and Su did. The relief was short-lived and not as satisfying as Su would have liked for it to be. The heat did not disappear but Su felt the small hand let go of him.
He had some degree of freedom again and he used it to curl on himself.
"Disconnect with your magic. It'll help. The burning feeling" Su did not have any knowledge on how to do that but his mouth did not move to ask the question. The kid somehow understood him and wrestled Su's magic into submission. The omega felt his body coming down from the high it had been in and he let out a sigh of relief.
"You did well. Do you need me to call the emperor here for you?" Damina asked as he came into focus. His body looked as bad as Su felt. Su had to wonder how bad he looked in comparison but he could not force himself to move.
"It's alright to feel tired. You did not do as well as me but it was an adequate first try. Now sleep. I'll wake you up for dinner" Damian looked like he had no care in the world. His face was cold but proud and Su could see why people would hate such an unfeeling kid.
But Su could not help but see worry and care in those eyes. Not many people looked past the exterior but Damian's eyes were the real window to his soul.
The next few hours were spent in and out of consciousness. Su felt things move around him but he had no recollection of being able to interact with them. His body felt spent but in a different way than his heat or nights spent with the emperor. The span of his sleep felt too small and too large at the same time.
The next time he was awake, it was already dark outside. There was a feeling inside Su that felt hollow and made it painful to even breathe.
"You must be ravishing after all that training. Here, have this to replenish your energy and we can start once again on your training. The emperor had gone out to visit a situation so he won't be there for a few days" Damian came back inside the room. He had a servant a few steps behind him that seemed to be carrying a plate.
Su felt his stomach growl in agreement and felt embarrassment creep over him. He should have realized that the empty feeling inside his stomach was due to hunger.
The food disappeared from Su's plate at an alarming rate. His side was empty in a flash but Su still felt hungry.
"Don't waste this food by giving this to me. I already ate" the kid pushed a small pile of food toward Su. It was half of the food on the plate Su had unconsciously forced toward the kid's side.
"I cannot help it. I'm an omega and you're a pup. My instincts force me to take care of you" Su only realized how rude his words had been once they were out of his mouth. However, he was not wrong and the kid did not seem to have found his words offensive.
"I had no idea your omega side was this sensitive. I'll take it into account for our future training. We need to get you caught up by the end of this week as the emperor needs you on the battlefront" Su felt himself take a sharp breath at the news.
A week felt like a short and yet such a long time. Su could not help but want more time to perfect his technique.
But at the same time, he could not wait long since the future of humanity depended on this expedition.
"I understand. You don't need to hold back for my sake" Su reminded the kid but his words seemed to fall flat. His tired voice was not doing him any credit.
The look Su got from Damina made him feel like a kid again. It was such a grown-up look that screamed at Su that he was being an idiot.
"Don't get ahead of yourself. I decide what kind of training is necessary to get you up there and if I say that it is important to take your omega into account, then it is crucial for your growth" Damian almost growled out.
It was the voice of a young alpha on the cusp of adulthood. It was really cute but did nothing for Su as Su was far older and mated as well. It just triggered a happy omega inside him that said 'pup's growing up'.'
Su knew he was getting attached and that it was a bad idea for him to get attached. It did not stop the bond from forming though.
"If you are done eating then we should get started. It's crucial to use every second we have" Damian informed and Su followed.
The week was difficult and filled with pain. Magic was not easy to use and it made Su ache in places he had never before. He felt broken and then remade by magic as it tore his insides apart and then stitched him up again.
It was bad but also rewarding. The first time Su managed to shape his magic, he almost burst out in tears. It was such a rewarding feeling for him to be able to feel that.
Magic became easier after that. Or, it was safe to say that Su got better at handling it. It came easy once he knew what to look around for. It was almost like a playful friend that Su had to bully into obeying.
The week passed in a blur of shapes and colors. Magic made it worth ignoring time and needs. It was only Damian's insistence that kept Su going through it all. It also made them closer and his instincts accept the kid more and more.
By the end of the week, Su almost felt ready to face the world again. His body was adored by the same armor as the other magical guards and nothing was visible on his body. He was just another nameless shadow in the army.
But that did not stop those golden eyes from singling him out in that crowd.