Today like any other I woke up for a few seconds... then went straight back to sleep. Usually I'll do this a couple times before my body naturally wakes. What would anyone else do? brush their teeth drink coffee take a shower. Me I just grab my phone and read all day. Sometimes I'll get up talk to my family hug them say love you then leave but most of the time I just don't move. if I were not so young this would be crippling yet even so I feel like I'm 35.

Looks wise a fair bit chubby with some muscle. brown hair green eyes tall to a certain extent 6,3

with an average face. Personality wise well it's all over the place I'm cheerful mischievous and generally just act in the moment Atleast around my family that is.

Over the years I have developed a defensive mechanism around people I don't know. When I'm in public My face becomes indifferent and I'm always on guard of those around me thinking unnecessary thoughts. Heck I'm not saying this is a bad thing. which could be part of the problem but what can I say? .Im a weak human just a single awkward fall could mean instant death let alone all the things that could happen with random people.

Enough of that let's go into my main problem and why on a particularly day I lost something no one no matter how good or evil should ever lose.

I woke up like usual went back to sleep a couple times before my body felt normal enough at this time it's 12 by this point I'm pestered about something from my family either about getting a job or a hobby.This annoyed me an incredible amount but that's it. To me even if they straight up stab me out of nowhere and rip my guts out I wouldn't hate them how could I?

Several hours pass like normal just reading on my desktop in my own world when I got a message from my sister's boyfriend not ever even once did we text or call each other so i pressed the message with strange uneasiness.

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Anwser now something happened it's... BAD.

My heart stopped dread fear and worry all struck my body at the same time 0 to 100 I instantly called him quickly asking:"What? what's going on?"

Tim was his name said:"I'm outside it's very serious I think it's best if you see for yourself" As soon as he finished speaking I hanged up and jumped out of my bed quickly dressing myself before bolting out the door. As soon as I buckled my seat belt I asked:"Hurry tell me what's happening where's mom? dad? my brother? sister... A tear fell down his face.

This caused a thought a terrible one even in my worst nightmare I've never even entertained the IDEA.My body almost shut Down. over the years I have somehow gained hypertension and with all these sudden emotions even that last one my body nearly died on the spot from a simple if...

"Just wait"

The entire way there instead of my usual paranoia today I felt pain somewhere I didn't even know existed. As if a 40 ton hammer broke my head like a watermelon every second. After a pain staking 15 minutes we arrived at a hospital. When I saw we're we where I couldn't give another fuck about anything else and ran like I never did before I was lucky adrenaline was running through my vains otherwise because of my terrible habit of laying on my bed I'd feel all of my muscles strain and almost tear.

After search the place I found a desk person and quickly asked:"Where's mom and dad I mean talker midway and Carrie midway? what room are they in?"

Subconsciously the desk worker said room 347 as soon as she found the number before quickly she came to regret that however she couldn't stop the obviously panicked man. :"Sighhhh I hope theirs nothing on the news tomorrow"

Immediately after Alex left tim out of breath asked sad and worried:"Did you see a panicking brown haired man?" The woman answered yes but before she could continue Tim said before bolting in Alex's direction:"SHIT"!!

At the exact same time Alex in a weird state full of adrenaline and a hyper tense body broke open the locked door which startled the doctors and Tim's parents inside.

PAIN

LOSS

SADDNESS

DESPAIR

FOOLISHNESS

Like a gunshot each individual bullet hit a different vital organ. Alex who saw Tim's parents with tears in their eyes with four covered body's next to him.

That day Alex was forced into reality one he left years ago.

Alex just...

Dropped

No words screams just tears and sadness left in his own thoughts:"I- I.... I their GONE i-if I WASN'T ON THAT DAM PHONE. I could I have Atleast gone with them... yet I didn't even get to say goodbye thank you, sorry or even let them go in peace with a successful son."

With this line of thoughts a new one came up one nobody should ever think about:"This- this was my fault I was aware of the fragility the human body has yet I did nothing. I was aware of death yet I did nothing. I could have done something YET I FUCKING DID NOTHING AND LET THOSE I CHERISH MORE THEN MY SOUL DIE!!"

With this I did something that took an unending amount of time to fix deep within my soul:"I HATE ??????!!!"

A pain so strong no should have been through it struck Alex deep within him yet he didn't care and even laughed at himself:"Pain who am I to deserve mauling over that I'm DONE from here on I'll strive to achieve something IMPOSSIBLE so that my parents can smile in the after life.

Darkness

Surrounded by void Alex completely ignored the infinity around him and instead focused on how to achieve his impossible goal one even when put into fantasy seemed a bit much.Almost as if to distract himself Alex kept thinking but this time instead of useless things each and every thought is put in efficient use.:"Due to the loss of my... I will most likely be adopted by Tim's family with how nice they are however this is not certain best to make other plans just in case..." Suddenly light appeared lightning up the once empty void.

Tim's mother shed a mountain of tears:"Alex Alex are you ok? IM SORRY I can't help you. If I could I wouldn't hesitate to do so" Alex felt a ting of warmness unknowningly Tim's mother had not Only just save a life but change his very fundamental fate .

When Alex woke up even though he said each and every thought with unwavering determination he couldn't help but want to just give up.When Becka Tim's mom said that he changed his mind completely forming his will. Now unless he does their won't be a day we're he strives for his dream.

1 week later at a symmetry:

On a day like this rain always happened as if the sky cried with them.After the burial everyone left besides tim and alex. Tim became extremely close to Alex over the past few days who wouldn't? he lost his future wife and Alex lost his family in sadness both understood each other.

Wiping away his tear Tim asked:"Are you ok?"

With a smile and tears Alex said with an absolute serious face:" Yes I am. Today marks the beginning and end for me". After this he suddenly asked "Tim do you want to make Erica amazed in the after life"

After five minutes Tim answered:"SURE"