No words could explain how shaken I was over what Derek did. It was so unlike him and I couldn't understand how he could do something like that or why he would do it. Doubts assailed my mind.
Was Ben right? Was this Derek getting tired of me?
I remained motionless on the bed long after he got off me and stormed out of the room off to…I didn't want to know where. I was trembling, unsure of what to make out of what just happened. All sense of security I felt whenever I was in that bedroom began to wash away and I found myself terrified. Yet after a bout of self-introspection, I realized that though I resented him for treating me the way that he did, I felt more worried about Derek more than any other feeling.
It wasn't like him to act the way that he did and the fact that he would do to me something like that… I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. I looked back to the reason for his outburst. He thinks there's something going on between me and Lucas. I wanted to explain to him how that couldn't be further from the truth, but how was I to do that? Wanting to get my mind off of what happened, I climbed off the bed, pulled a white silk robe over the cotton night shift I had on. Plagued by worrisome thoughts, I retreated to the room that contained memories of Derek's smile, of a dance with music that only played in Derek's head, of a kiss that I wanted so much, but couldn't allow to happen.
I went to the sun room and was surprised to find Ben standing there with a look of pure bliss and unveiled fascination on his face. After Derek "acquired" Ben, we spent the rest of the day together – up until the point when I had to go to Derek's room to get some sleep. Ben actually suggested that I stay with him, but much to his dismay, I declined. I knew that should Lucas attack that night, I would only put Ben in danger if I was found with him. The time spent with Ben felt awkward and forced. The Blood Shade had changed him in ways I knew I wouldn't be able to fully understand.
Not many words were spoken between us. We just satisfied ourselves in being around the other. I knew he had his own questions for me, and I had mine, but I assumed that both of us were afraid to know the answers to our questions. I knew I was. I wouldn't know how to handle it if Ben started telling me something awful about his experience at the Blood Shade. I didn't even know if I could handle telling him about what Lucas had been putting me through and why I couldn't possibly tell Derek. Thus, to see that relaxed and almost joyous expression on his face as he viewed the sun room was a precious sight to behold.
"We call it the sun room," I said, surprising him. "I designed the room myself. You like it?"
I stepped inside the room, putting a smile on my face, trying to forget what just happened between Derek and me. I couldn't deny the sense of pride I had upon seeing Ben's face and how enamored he seemed by the illusion of the sun streaming through the room. It reminded me so much of the reaction on Derek's face when I first brought him there that it almost felt like I was cheating on Derek just by being there with Ben.
"You did this?" Ben asked, not bothering to hide his enthrallment. "Sofia, this is…incredible."
He breathed a sigh as he approached the mural of the beach on the wall.
"What I would give to see the sun… This place and its darkness… This room is a refuge. What made you think of this?"
I bit my lip as I stared at him. I wanted so badly to ask him how he ended up at the Shade, how long he'd been there, what he'd been through, but I still wasn't sure I was ready to hear about it all, so I just began blabbering about the sun room instead.
"Derek told me that he hadn't seen sunlight in five hundred years. I could swear he missed it, so that's where I got the idea, and…"
Ben withdrew his hand from the mural he was touching and admiring. It was as if the mention of Derek being involved in the creative process suddenly made the mural unappealing.
"So you did this for him?" He asked incredulously.
"Well, yeah…" I admitted. "That - and I also missed the sun." I tried to use a perkier tone to lighten the mood. I didn't like where the conversation was going.
"How could you do anything for him? For any of their kind?" His tone was accusing and intense.
"You're his slave, Sofia. How could you live with that?"
I didn't have the answers to the questions he was throwing my way. What could I possibly say to him? That Derek was different? That he wasn't like the others? All I knew was that over the past weeks that I'd been there, Derek had begun to mean the world to me. Even after what he did earlier, and no matter how hurt and confused I was by it, I still had trouble seeing Derek in a negative light. Not after everything we'd been through. How could I even begin to explain this to Ben? I wrapped my arms around Ben's waist from behind, hoping to take his thoughts away from the vampires just as much as I wanted to take my thoughts away from Derek.
"Let's just forget about them for now, can we please? I missed you so much."
"I can't just forget, Sophie. You have no idea what that bitch Claudia put me through."
There was an edge to his tone. Jaded. Broken. Cynical. There was no sorrow left. Just pure hatred. Completely unlike the happy-go-lucky Ben I used to know. He turned around to face me, his blue eyes blazing with bitterness and spite.
"I never would've thought that it would be you – the girl Claudia's been harping on about, the human who stole the vampire prince's heart. You couldn't possibly understand how much it crushes me to see that you were taken captive too, that their kind can ruin you any way they please. And after everything, it almost seems like you've fallen in love with him."
I swallowed hard. Fallen in love? With Derek? I couldn't lie to myself. I knew I was in danger of falling for him, but whether that had happened already… whether I'd actually fallen for him I still wasn't sure of. I felt as if I didn't need to defend whatever it was that I had with Derek to Ben, nor did I want to, so I focused on Ben instead. I knew that there was no escaping where this conversation was going. I heaved a sigh gearing myself up for the worst.
"What happened to you, Ben? How did you get here? What has she been doing to you?"
There was a long pause before Ben heaved a sigh and began to explain. "You didn't return to the villa the night of your birthday. I was worried sick. I waited for you and when dawn came and you still weren't around, I started looking for you. That's when she found me. She took me to her penthouse and I'd been there since. This was the first time she'd allowed me out after I tried to escape."
My stomach was in knots, as I ran through my mind what pain his attempted escape might have brought him. I had no idea how lucky I was to be with Derek.
"You…you tried to escape? What happened?"
A bitter smile formed on his face. "See for yourself."
He pulled off his white woolen shirt.
I gasped at the sight, tears spilling from my eyes, as I clamped a palm over my mouth.
His upper torso was practically covered in scars as cut after cut marred his body. I trembled even as I ran a finger over one of them.
"How were you able to survive this, Ben?"
"That's the last round of torture that you see. She used a dagger to cut me, deep enough to scar, but shallow enough not to cause internal damage. The first two rounds of torture, she beat me up to a bloody pulp and then made me drink her blood so I could heal so she could torture me again."
It took everything I had to keep myself from vomiting. Tears were dripping down my cheeks, horrified by what he had to go through.
"These creatures are evil savages, Sofia. All of them. They don't have a conscience just as much as they don't have a life. You might think that this prince of theirs has a heart in him somewhere, but he doesn't, Sofia. No matter how he's taken care of you, he's still a vampire. And whenever he lays his eyes on you, all he sees is a beautiful young woman he can sink his teeth into."
And yet… he hasn't. No matter how tempted he was, he never gave in. I looked up at my best friend, wanting to agree with him, but still finding my inner conscience standing in defense of Derek. It made me feel guilty, because after all Ben had been through, it felt like he deserved to have me on his side on this, but all I could think of was the smile on Derek's face and the way he looked at me when he motioned to kiss me. No matter how I tried to recall, the times that I could consider negative about my captor, I found that I didn't have it in me to see Derek as a savage… simply because that wasn't what he was.
"I can't blame you for thinking that. Claudia certainly is," was the compromise I could come up with to appease my best friend.
"But you think your prince isn't?"
"Derek has his flaws, but he's far from being a savage."
Ben responded by cupping my face with his large hands and planting a kiss over my forehead.
"You're wrong, Sofia, and for your sake, I hope we could find a way out of here before his true colors come out."
"Well, well, well…what do we have here?"
As if the thoughts Ben was laying on me weren't enough of a burden to bear, I now had to hear the blood-curdling sound of Lucas' voice.
"You're one naughty girl, Sofia. I hate it enough when I see Derek touch you, but now this?"
Before I could even start formulating a response, Lucas had both Ben and I backed up against a wall, his powerful hands keeping us both in place by our necks. Lucas' glare settled on Ben.
"If it isn't Claudia's slave… Weren't you the one serving us during those pleasurable rendezvous that I spent with your mistress?"
Ben struggled vainly against Lucas' grasp. However, we both knew that there wasn't much he could do to harm Lucas.
"Welcome to the Pavilion, boy," Lucas grinned, showing amusement over Ben's failure to get away from him. "First lesson you ought to learn is that you never touch what's mine. Even though my brother still thinks that he owns her, Sofia is mine."
Ben spat on his face. "Sofia is neither yours nor your brother's. She belongs with me."
I shot a surprised look his way, not quite knowing what to make of that statement. I didn't have much time to mull over what he just said though, because infuriated by Ben's insolence, Lucas growled and hurled Ben to the other side of the room. Ben's head hit the wall and he fell to the ground unconscious. I let out a scream and tried to rush towards Ben, but Lucas' cold grip held me back.
Lucas' manic glare focused on me. "I think it's time I got what I want from you. It's been long enough. Don't you agree, Sofia?"