What is it with these people and shoving me up against hard surfaces?
I was fully aware of the gravity of my situation, and yet that was the one thought that circled my mind the moment he lifted me so that my face was directly in front of his. He had me pinned against a black marble pillar. My back was suffering from the abuse it'd been receiving all night long – first from Derek's brother and now from him.
Lucas was probably right when he referred to me as a "fragile little twig". It was exactly how I felt, with Derek pinning me there, all my attempts to push him away and break free failing miserably. I wasn't even sure if he was aware of how strong he was, but he exuded a power that I didn't sense even with Lucas. I felt like a china doll, as though he could shatter me the moment he wished to do so.
Everything about Derek Novak was overwhelming my senses. The feel of his body pressed against mine, the chill of his breath against my skin, the sound of his uneven breathing, the light scent of his musk mixing with the myrrh they applied on me before we were brought to him.
He stared at me and I stared back. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning and every bit of his demeanor showed how conflicted he was about what he wanted to do. And yet, there was also a determination in his sharp blue eyes that left me grasping for any bit of hope.
When his free hand grabbed my head and pushed it to the side to clear my neck as he bared his fangs, all I could think of doing was beg, "Please don't."
I could hear Vivienne trying to plead with him, reminding him that he could control this. He needed to regain control.
I didn't understand what was going on or why they were doing what they were doing. I just knew that I was at Derek's mercy and yet, unlike what I experienced with Lucas earlier that night, right now nothing about what Derek was doing made me feel violated.
That scared me. This man had me shoved up a hard surface, trapping me with his strong arms, crushing me. He was about to sink his teeth into my bare neck and drink my blood. I had every right to feel violated, but I didn't. What does that say about me?
"Derek… you don't want to do this… you have control." Vivienne just kept at it.
I looked into Derek's eyes wondering if it was getting to him. It seemed it wasn't, because he pushed against me as he leaned forward, his fangs beginning to press against my neck.
Even as all five of my senses were assailed by sensation after sensation brought about by my unfamiliar and strange predicament, I recalled something Ben always told me when I began to pity myself and blame my circumstances for my sorrow.
"I know an excuse when I hear one, Sofia. Don't you dare dupe yourself into believing that you're the victim."
I tried to push him away, but surrendered to the idea that it was no use. Instead, I pressed my cheek against his, the warmth of my skin fading with the coldness of his.
"You can control yourself. Don't do this to me." I whispered into his ear.
To my surprise, just when his fangs were about to break my skin and draw blood, he stopped. I could feel the fangs retract and it was just his lips pressed against my neck. "I can't," he responded.
"You're too beautiful, your blood too enticing, too sweet..."
Tears began to stream down my face – partly because everything that'd been happening came crashing down on me, overwhelming me, and partly because of how much I ached for Ben as I spoke the same words that he had so many times before.
"I know an excuse when I hear one. Don't you dare deceive yourself into believing that you're the victim, Derek Novak."
I could hear a soft gasp escape his lips the moment I said the words. I couldn't help but sigh with relief when his arm's grip around my waist loosened. His lips remained pressed on any part of my skin it could brush against as he eased me down so I could stand on my feet again. I felt so small and fragile standing so close to him. The moment my feet hit the ground, my knees buckled and to my horror, I found myself leaning to him for support.
"You'll be alright," he whispered loud enough for only me to hear.
I wanted to throw a bitter, sarcastic retort at him. How could he say something like that after what he was just about to do to me? I found, however, that I had no energy left in me to put up a fight.
His eyes were still on me as he spoke. "Tell me your name."
It sounded more like a command than a request, but I found myself responding anyway. "Sofia… Sofia Claremont."
He then began to speak louder, obviously addressing everyone else in the room other than me.
"Sofia is to be my personal slave."
"And the others?" Vivienne asked.
Derek didn't even look at them. "You decide."
Other words were exchanged, but I managed for the first time in a long time to numb all five of my senses. The thought circling through my mind was overwhelmingly sickening.
What exactly does he mean by "personal slave"?