Chapter 1

"No!!" I screamed, panting as I got up from my bed.

My heart raised at a million per second as sweat covered my face. It's been hard to sleep lately. Those nightmares were back, keeping me awake every night.

I thought I was over them, but I guess I was wrong. The medication the therapist prescribed no longer work.

I sighed and reached out to my phone on the nightstand. It was 2 am, I sighed again and got down from the bed, shuffling to the bathroom.

I washed my face and looked up at my reflection in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my hair which was scattered like a bird's nest.

I poured water on my face again before shuffling back to my bed.

I sat outside my front porch with a cup of coffee in my right hand, my mind trying to bring back the nightmares I tried so hard to bury deep down. I was tired of this, I thought the medication the doctor had prescribed was going to stop them from hunting me but it didn't, it just made it worse.

I sighed. "I guess I better just get ready for work then."

I stood up from my chair and walked back into the room, glancing at the clock on my way in. Holy mother!!!.. I had been outside for three hours?!

I quickly got dressed and proceeded to apply make-up on my face. While I was doing so, my phone and the Caller ID showed it was mom. I swiped to answer with reluctance.

"Good morning mom," I chirped, applying powder to my face.

"Morning Mariel," mom replied.

"How are you, Mariel?" She asked in a cheerful voice.

"I'm fine, how about you?"

"Good, how is work?"

"Fine ma, I hope dad is doing well and taking his meds?"

"Yeah, he is," mom replied.

I heard her exhale. I knew what was going to be next and I was not ready for it.

"When will you give me a child?" She demanded. "You're not getting any younger."

Are we really having this conversion now? I took a calming breath. "Mom, I'm not ready for a relationship."

A pause followed a sarcastic laugh. "You don't have to be ready to give me grandchildren, Mariel, I'm well past my seventies and haven't heard the laughter of a child in my home."

"But—"

"No buts," she butted in, "I just want to hold my grandbabies in my arms already-"

"Mom, I'm not ready to get into a relationship yet nonetheless getting married and giving birth to babies." I successfully cut her off, rolling my eyes like she could see me.

Her inner volcano erupted. "You're turning 26 in a few months, Mariel! And you still claim that you're not ready yet!?" she shouted, making me take the phone away from my ear.

"Mariel I enjoyed last night-" Trisha, my roommate, exclaimed entering my room.

"Shhh." I shushed her, covering my phone and pointing at my phone.

She raised her eyebrows at me, questioningly.

"Mom." I mimed.

She nodded thoughtfully collapsing on the bed again. She looked like she was hungover.

Trisha and I have been roommates and best friends since our college days. She loved going to parties and going on dates with as many men as she can while I was the opposite.

I disliked that gender. Don't ask me why, I can't dive into the memories that have been haunting me for as long as I know. I would be digging my grave if I did.

"Mariel," Mom gasped dramatically. "Don't... tell me... you just... spent the night with a..." she trailed off.

I laughed sarcastically. "Whatever you think mom."

"What!? Are you serious Mariel!?" She exclaimed, making Trisha burst out laughing.

"I can't believe you forgot about Trish just because of your 'produce babies' talk." I rolled my eyes.

"Mariel!" Mom warned.

I resisted the urge to laugh. "I'm done with this conversation. Goodbye, mom." I told her, switching back to my 'bossy' voice. Trisha said so not me.

"I'm not done-"

"Bye. I'm late for work." I hung up before she could even say a word.

I turned to face Trish and she burst out laughing.

"I don't know what's amusing to you." I glared at her.

"Com'on Mari." she giggled, getting up from the bed.

I picked up my bag and took one last glance at my reflection. "I'm out!" I announced, shuffling out of my room.

"Be careful out there!" She yelled after me.

I shook my head and walked out of the house.

∞

"Good morning Mariel." Emma, my colleague, greeted me as I sat in my cabin.

I worked as a supervisor in a medium-scale cosmetic company but I had majored in design in college.

"Morning Emma," I replied with a smile, switching on my desktop.

"Congratulations!" I heard some of my colleagues from across the hall beam. What is the jubilation all about?

I saw Joyce, the director of the company who always took joy in picking on me, smiling in their midst with some cards in her hand.

I quickly averted my gaze from her as I saw her approaching my cabin.

"She is not coming for you! Not coming for you." I tried to assure myself but my thoughts were interrupted by her fake tiny voice.

"Hey Mariel!" she piped and I gulped. I was not ready to be involved in any drama this morning.

"Hi." I replied, releasing my cold tone and started typing on the keyboard in front of me.

"I don't know why you always give me that cold tone," There she goes, always acting like the victim. "Well I'm not here to banter words with you, I just came to invite you to my wedding!" she shoved a pink card with a peach ribbon tied around it, in my face.

I froze for a split second as different emotions ran through me.

"W-wedding?" I repeated in disbelief.

I think she saw my facial expression as she wore a fake grin, nodding. "Yes."

"Oh." I faked a smile, taking the card from her.

I don't know why I was acting like that. I mean, I didn't want to get married. Maybe because she was always rubbing her relationship in my face.

"Oh?" She quirked up her right eyebrow, tilting her head as she leaned on my cabin.

I let out a fake smile again. "Congratulations!" I beamed, trying to make my voice sound as cheerful as I can.

"You shouldn't allow her to ruin your mood." Her friend, Vivian who I hadn't noticed she had been there said. They were the 'devil's twin' as Emma and I called the duo.

Joyce scoffed and walked away muttering, "Jealous bitch."

I smiled and shook my head. If only they knew.

Emma touched my arm and I looked up at her. "Don't mind them." She whispered and I smiled.

∞

"Ugh." I groaned, taking off my heels and moving my toes back and forth to ease the pain I was feeling.

So much for being a lady...

I slipped my legs into a black bedroom slipper and shuffled to the kitchen to grab water. I was so exhausted. As I walked past my room, Trisha's loud moans filled my ears.

I instantly became rejuvenated as I pressed my eyes against my door to confirm if my eyes were fooling me or not but fuck it! It was from my room!.

Without thinking twice, I twisted the doorknob and barged into my room, my eyes blazing with anger. But I shut my eyes immediately I set my eyes on a naked Trisha riding an unknown man, oblivious of my presence in the room.

"Trisha Williams!" I hollered, bringing her down from her high. It was obvious that she was almost at her peak.

Trisha's eyes widened as they met my form, making me roll my eyes.

"Mari-I can explain." She stuttered, jumping down from his manhood, which was still erect.

Oops.

"That's what you always say." I rolled my eyes and glared at her. You guessed right, this is not the first time this was happening.

She picked up their clothes and threw his to him before signalling for the both of them to leave. She shot me an apologetic smile before leaving.

I groaned as the musky smell of sex hit my nose. "Trisha!!" I yelled in frustration.

"Mariel I said I'm sorry!" she whimpered clasping her hands together and resting her chin on them, giving me puppy eyes.

I quickly shut my eyes to avoid her charm from getting to me. Trisha had beautiful electrifying blue eyes which contrasted with her blonde hair whereas mine were grey which did not match with my red hair...in my opinion.

"Why the hell did you do that in my room? What happened to yours." I asked and took a bite from the piece of pizza in my hand.

Trisha is always lazy to cook, she usually ordered pizza or get Chinese take outs. So much for having a lazy best friend.

"Uh-my room was scattered and the was kind of uh-an EMERGENCY!" her voice pierced through my ears making me push my index finger into them to prevent me from getting my ears damaged.

"Mariel-"

"I forgive you." I sighed, knowing she was never going to leave me be till I said so.

She gave me a side hug, making a smile appear on my lip. She separated from the hug and started eating. We both ate in silence.

"Joyce is getting married." I said abruptly.

Trisha raise her head up from her phone, her eyes opened wide. "What?"

Joyce and Trisha had met once, it was a disaster. Trisha almost ripped Joyce's hair off her head if not for my timely intervention.

I nodded sipping from my pineapple juice, "She invited me too," I told her. "I'm not-"

"You're going to attend the wedding!" she cut me off glaring at me.

I raised my eyebrows at her wondering why she was forcing me to go.

She rolled her eyes, "Can't you see that she is trying to humiliate you?"

"Like I care." I hissed, picking the empty boxes of pizza.

"You're going and that's final!" She yelled and stomped away.

∞

"All done!" Trisha squeaked, dropping her makeup brush on her vanity. "You can open your eyes."

I stood up and walked over, looking in the full body mirror hanging on her closet door.

"Woah." I muttered, taking in my appearance.

The violet dress Trisha had picked for me was flowing above my knees as my stiletto added extra length to my height. My red hair was curled at its ends and they fell on my back. Trisha applied light makeup to my face making my grey eyes stand out.

"You like it?" I nodded in reply. It's been a while since I looked this good.

∞

I sighed as I stood in front of the wedding reception venue. It was a garden filled with different kinds of flowers and butterflies hovering around them, the ground was covered with neatly trimmed grass. People were trooping into the venue and I joined them inhaling the pleasant smell. It was held in the open air making it more pleasant.

As soon as I got in, I sighted Joyce amidst the crowd with her arm in a middle-aged man's. I smiled and strolled down to their small gathering.

"Congratulations Joyce." I beamed, enveloping her into a hug.

I almost smirked as I saw a surprised look cross her face but she was quick to hide it.

"Seems like someone didn't expect her favourite guest." I told her without separating from the hug.

I let her digest my words before I disentangled from the hug. I almost laughed when I saw her red face and again, she hid it.

I felt someone watching me as I tried to bond with her friends around. I tried to shake away the feeling thinking it was an illusion or I was just being paranoid.

I was beginning to feel sick in the pit of my stomach as the feeling became stronger.

"Please excuse me." I smiled and walked away.

"Hey." I heard a deep voice and I pivoted to the person.

"Hi." I tried to smile at the man standing in front of me.

"I'm Alex." He introduced with a smile, pushing his hand forward obviously for a handshake.

I reluctantly took it trying hard to smile, "Mariel." I took his hand, taking in his appearance.

He had blonde hair with a pair of chocolate eyes. He was putting on a blue tuxedo which made him look like uh... a gentleman.

I pulled my hand away when I noticed he was not ready to let go yet. We found a place to sit and sat close to each other.

Don't judge me, I disliked having contact with men. They made me feel insecure, I really don't have a good record of them since when I was younger. It's a traumatic experience I don't want to recall, well, except for the nightmares.

Alex chuckled noticing the way I was uncomfortable but that didn't stop him, he started using his eyes to undress me. When he was done his eyes settled on my breast.

I shifted uncomfortably, trying hard to control the rage burning in me. "you should stop." I released my cold tone.

"Why? Don't you like it?" He smiled flirtatiously, making me groan. He was testing my patience.

"Nice boobs you've got girl." His eyes were looking everywhere but my breast and that was all it took for me to land my palm on his cheek twice without blinking.

I stood up pointing at him, "you're a very shameless and stupid man! A-"

"Jeez, I can't believe she brought along her bad attitude." Joyce's sultry voice interrupted me and I whipped my head to look at her in disbelief.

How could I be surprised?

"Ask your guest what he did!" I half yelled pointing at Alex who wore a nonchalant look.

The DJ had stopped playing music and all eyes were on us.

Joyce scoffed and fluffed her hair backwards, "you're so shameless, how could you-"

"You're the shameless one here Joyce! You invited a total pervert to your wedding reception he harassed your guest and you're still supporting him!?" I didn't care if everyone's eyes were on us, I just wanted to give her a piece of my mind.

"Get a hold of yourself, Mariel!" Joyce hollered.

I scoffed, "you are the bitvh who needs to get a hold of herself."

Her face turned pale and I smirked, picking up my clutch from the table.

"Enjoy your wedding night and see you at work whenever you resume!" I winked and walked out.