She looked at Rachel as if she couldn't quite believe she was the woman she was describing and then back to her daughter. "You were such a loving little girl and affectionate. You would have shriveled up and died under that kind of care. I couldn't do it. I couldn't give you back. And she never changed. I kept tabs and watched her daughter Ashlyn be sent to boarding school when she was barely eight years old."
Heather's eyes filled with tears as she met Ash's gaze. "It hurt so much to see you treated like that. I loved your sister with all my heart and you by proxy. I couldn't change your life, but I couldn't let your mother do the same thing to Emma."
"I understand," Ash said. And she did. Someone looking from the outside might not, but she'd lived that emotional wasteland. "I'm glad my sister escaped having a childhood like mine. I'm glad you were there to love her."
"But she needed me. If you'd given me back, we would have had each other," Emma said in a low whisper.
"I thought of that and I just couldn't sacrifice your happiness for hers." Heather buried her face in her hands and started to sob. "I'm sorry."
Ash's mom moved to sit on the other side of Heather.She pulled her into her arms and just held her, as she alone in that room could understand a mother's pain and guilt. And perhaps it was true. If everything she'd said over the past week plus was true, she carried a load of guilt for her treatment of Ash easily as heavy as Heather's.
"If my biological mother was such a horrible woman why isn't she threatening prison and yelling at her?" Emma asked Ash, her eyes filled with a confusion Ash understood only too well.
"She almost died a couple of weeks ago and it changed her. I think she really loves me finally and I know she's going to love you."
"But, Mom?"
"Nothing is going to happen to your mom. Mom doesn't want to hurt her and neither do I. I only want to know you. I'd like to know her, too, if she'll let me. She was a good mom to you. She took care of you and after hearing her story, I'm convinced she didn't do anything with malice."
"Are you for real?" Emma asked. "Nobody reacts like that to something like this."
Nikos laughed, hugging her. "Ash is a special woman."
"I'm glad." The controlled facade cracked for just a second as Emma's chin wobbled. "I don't want my mom hurt."
"She won't be," Rachel said with conviction as she continued to hold the crying woman. "She did better by my daughter than I did. I stopped looking for you after only a year. I have no excuse for that. I was a rotten mother to your sister, but she loved me in spite of it."
"There are worse mothers than you were, much worse," Ash said.
"Thank you, sweetheart, but when I remember the times your eyes so like your father's begged me to show a spark of affection and then I didn't…I'll never forgive myself."
"You hugged me sometimes."
"I bet you remember every single time because those times were so rare."
"You really were a bitch," Emma breathed.
Rachel flinched. "Yes. I was and I thank God, Ash never gave up on me. I've seen the error of my ways. I want to make up for them. I think we can build a family now. All of us, if you're willing."
"I won't leave my mom out."
"Like Ash, I would appreciate the chance to get to know her, too."
At that Heather pulled out of her arms, wiping her face. She looked ravaged, but at peace and just a little bemused. "I've been so terrified for years. I can't believe things are happening this way."
Ash's mom grimaced. "They wouldn't have…a few weeks ago."
"It's a good thing you didn't find me then," Emma quipped.
Ash agreed, but said nothing. The visit continued on a more positive note from there. Strangely, though, Ash felt herself pulling into the background, listening to her mom talk with Emma and Heather. She soaked up everything they all said and enjoyed hearing it, but she couldn't participate.
If Emma felt stunned and traumatized by events, so did Ash. She still wasn't used to having a mom that wanted to be a mom and now she had a sister and that just blew her away. She'd been alone so long, she wasn't sure how to be part of a family and she wondered in a distant part of her mind if that was one of the reasons she'd put off talking about her relationship with Nikos.
She was scared of giving in and becoming part of a family and having it all taken away again. It was the kind of fear only someone who'd lived so long on the fringes of other people's happiness could understand. Her mind worked out the disturbing thoughts as she listened to the others talk.
She learned that Emma was in town for a shoot and planned to meet back up with Miguel afterward. She was very animated when she talked about him and that made both Ash and her mom smile. At some point, Nikos ordered dinner to be delivered. They all ate, still talking.
It was late when Nikos stood and said, "Ash needs rest. It has been a very traumatic few weeks for her. Perhaps this visit can continue tomorrow?"
Emma looked at Ash and bit her lip in a gesture Ash recognized. "You haven't been talking much."
"I'm soaking it all in. I'm um…not used to being part of a family," she said, exposing one of her inner revelations.
"She seems so wonderful now, it's hard to believe she raised you the way she did."
Ellie smiled. "She's not as bad as everyone is painting her."
"Yes, I was."
She shrugged. "Then it doesn't matter. You're my mom and I love you. I always have and I always will, but this family thing…it's going to take some getting used to. I like it a lot, though." She smiled again, hoping they could all read her sincerity.
Emma nodded. "I have a feeling I'm going to like you a lot, too."
"You are going to love her, just as she will love you," Nikos corrected with a warm smile. "She is infinitely lovable and it is clear you are a very special woman, too."
Ash felt faint. Okay, that was the second oblique reference and that meant she wasn't imagining them.
Her mom cleared her throat. "I would like to stay here a while longer…to talk out what I learned from my legal counsel with Heather in regard to the kidnapping and the statute of limitations and such."
"Is everything going to be okay?" Ash asked. "She won't go to jail?"
"She will not. I have already put efforts into motion to ensure that Heather suffers no more from the tragedy of her past."
"You did that before you even met us?" Emma asked with awe in her voice.
"Yes."
"Thank you." She jumped up and hugged her.
Ash felt a twinge…not of envy, but of sadness. She did love her mom, but she wondered if she would ever have the easy relationship with her that her sister was already developing. Even if she didn't, what they had was so much better than what she'd known growing up, she wouldn't ever wish for things to be different. She felt truly blessed. Overwhelmed, but blessed.
"Then you all don't mind if I go to the hotel?"
"No, of course not. I am very glad you have someone to take care of you like Nikos," Heather said, just as if she was Ash's mom, too.
It was nice.
Ash discovered that Nikos had booked them into the same room at the hotel when he followed her into it and closed the door behind them. She noticed his suitcase as well as hers had been delivered from the plane and stood against one wall side by side.
"We share a room?" she asked.
"Always."
She nodded and Nikos went very still. "What did that little nod mean?"
"What did the oblique references you've made to love today mean?" she countered.
"That I love you," he replied without hesitation.
"No. You can't."
"I assure you, I do."
"But you don't believe in love."
"Belief is not always necessary for a state of being. I learned quickly enough how much I love you when you refused to come back to me, or talk to me about our future."