To say I was panicking and tipsy would be an understatement. Like of the century. Seeing only the floor and people's legs and shoes wasn't fun, but even less when that means you can't tell where you are to try and see if you can find yourself in reverse. It's like leading a blind man without touching them and you don't get to choose where either of you start and hope that the blind man ends up in your sight after you spin around a million times. I could feel everything run cold as I tried to come up with some kind of plan to save myself but I was coming up with nothing, I was too dizzy and too tipsy to have any sort of comprehensive thought. As I tried to get my thoughts together, my panic increased as I felt something smooth and cold wrap around my face which made the dread set in deeper into my bones. Everything shifted and all I could do was babble panicked nonsense as something picked up my head and moved me. Whatever was going on though was not making it a smooth ride and I could feel myself getting nauseous and motion sick while they turned me around. Still garbling out panicked nonsense, I paused and tried to focus as I felt my head get cradled further and my line of sight changed to almost be familiar. It took me longer than I would like to admit to realize Rusheen had found me and used his tail to reach me without causing a commotion and Adrian kept my body in place while Rusheen brought my head back over to them. Rusheen was smiling at me and pulled my head into his hands, one cradling my head carefully while the other began carding through my hair.
"Found ya. Ya safe now angel." he almost cooed in my ear, and I was almost embarrassed to see my body shiver where it stood beside Adrian. Almost being the keyword here because as mortifying as it was to have such a physical reaction to anyone's flirting in front of my brother, I was for once much too busy enjoying someone else holding my head. Usually when someone else held my head it would leave a feeling in my gut like when someone else is borrowing your phone, you trust them yet even when you have nothing to hide you just want it back already as soon as possible which is why I try not to let anyone hold it outside of necessity or just Topher being, well, Topher. But this felt almost as natural as when my head was in my own hands. It felt safe in a different way being in my own hands felt like. My hands were always a bit warm, nothing like how werewolves run hot compared to most but definitely a bit warmer than normal which is weird enough given how pale I am. So Rusheen's hands felt cooler but like a cool spring or autumn breeze on a hot day. It was a bit cooler than I normally prefer, especially on a chilly fall night like tonight but it somehow still felt comforting despite the lack of finesse one surprisingly needed when holding a head to make it comfortable. The best way I can describe it is like when someone new to driving is behind the wheel in a manual rather than an automatic. You jolt around a lot more and the ride isn't nearly as smooth and can easily leave even the strongest of stomachs uneasy if you aren't careful. How I could feel so comfortable and safe while in his arms like this was a daunting feeling I wasn't used to. I found myself closing my eyes and calming down from the heart-stopping panic being temporarily lost had left me feeling. I made no moves to take my head back as I normally would have, my body stayed calmly put beside Adrian and my head stayed sweetly cradled in Rusheen's arms. I didn't truly see the significance then, even as I could hear Topher and Heather join us again until I felt an annoying tap-tap-tap-tap rapidly hit my forehead. I opened my eyes in a pointed glare, seeing Topher and his tanned finger so close to my face.
"You feeling okay bro? We're gonna go home like you wanted, but kinda gotta steer yourself into the van man." he pointed out, then motioned to my body which stood beside Adrian at the entrance. I groaned and made my body come over and take my head back. I wasn't too pleased about this, but I did not want to stay here and possibly lose my head again. I wanted to go home so I begrudgingly took my head back to walk with them to my old van. Rusheen had to slither in first being as large as he is, then I clumsily tumbled in beside him and accidentally stepped on his tail but I was more than happy to 'trip' further and practically end up in his coiled lap and pretend to not notice as I settled in and rest my head in my lap. Adrian cleared his throat as he climbed in but was very defeated when there would clearly be no room for him in the far back with Rusheen and I so he had to sit in the split middle seats since Topher had already slid into the front passenger seat with a sly grin. Heather got into the driver's seat and adjusted the seat to her much smaller height and detached the modified headrest I use to drive to put it in the seat beside Adrian so she could drive without it trying to decapitate her. Once she was settled in and she made sure everyone was buckled in as best we all could, given Rusheen's long tail making it difficult to move much in the back seat, she finally started the car and drove us home. Even if it was nighttime I could see Topher sliding on his favorite sunglasses and rolling down the window while Heather cranked the heat in the van. I chuckled and angled my head to look up at Rusheen who looked excitedly out the window at the passing scenery. It reminded me that everything here was new to him and it made me smile to see him so excited about taking everything in. I leaned my body against the wall of the van and kicked my legs up fully over his lap as I settled in his cool and somehow comfortable coils. After fixing my head to still look at him I deemed this easily the most comfortable ride home ever. His tail adjusted to make sure it touched every heated vent he could to warm up against the chilled breeze from Topher's open window so I took the end of his tail in hand and draped it across my lap just behind my head with a lopsided smile. Rusheen smiled back at me, then winked as the end of his tail then slid under my head and curled up to make a little secure cushion for my head to rest so he could also hold my head while keeping it still with me. I gave a lighthearted laugh and put a hand on his tail. The flirt had moves, and it was definitely working so far.
"So what're you studying? And why come all the way to America for it?" I asked, biting back a yawn as best I could. Couldn't help it if I got sleepy in cars when I was really comfortable. Rusheen looked back at me again and smiled a bit sadly.
"Ah am learnin' medicine, I wanna be a doctor. Ah like helpin' people, an dat seemed like da best way ta do so an also help ma family." he explained, but his heart didn't seem to be really in it. It made me wonder why, why lie? Why commit to something that doesn't actually make him happy? Thinking about it I couldn't talk too much in that regard. I had always been pretty good with numbers and whatnot, but I much preferred if I could teach or do more with my swordsmanship skills. The problem was that those jobs hardly pay and the schedules are strict. I chose being an accountant because I can find ways to work wherever I am and shift my schedules as needed so I could always be wherever Adrian needed me to be. Most everything I did was for my brother or my parents. Making sure they're safe and they're set up. Making sure I'm available for them. So I guess it wasn't my place to ask. Instead I smiled at him and patted his tail again.
"Sounds like a lot of work to me, but if that's what you want, then I'm sure you're gonna be a great doctor." I praised, turning my head then to Adrian. "You keep building like you do Adrian and maybe you'll indirectly end up working together. Saving lives and making them better." I jeered, smiling at him and sticking my tongue out at him. Adrian groaned and looked out his window instead. Rusheen hummed in thought, looking over at Adrian.
"Ya build things?" he asked, and I happily picked up'
"He loves tinkering, he loves making machines, making things that make things easier for people. He made the fake neck I wore for the haunted hayride earlier! It holds my head up and a remote glove goes on my hand to move it around so I can look around and a button to tilt it over to pretend my head is falling off to scare the passengers. It may be the first night but it's been a hit!!" I gushed, causing Adrian to groan again, still not looking at us. Rusheen for his part seemed more impressed than he looked confused.
"Ya make things like dat? Sounds all kinds a hard." he praised, still having a confused look on his face. "How do ya manage makin machines?" he asked, tilting his head curiously, Adrian heaved a sigh and looked back at us.
"It's not hard. It's a lot of wires and coding, trial and error as far as new codes and shit I guess, but anyone can do it really." he huffed out, crossing his arms and shifting his gaze down to his shoes with a shrug. I sighed, kicking a leg out to awkwardly tap my booted foot against his shoulder.
"Not everyone can do that shit bro. You're really smart and talented! You could totally make it as an inventor if you get the right marketing scheme going!" I hated hearing him try to normalize his talent. Most people could just barely work whatever technology they already had let alone making whole new kinds to help people and supernatural beings alike to adapt to one another and just live life a little easier. I remember as kids he would love to find ways to make it easier for me to join in with the other kids without worrying about not really ever having my hands free. At first he would just make new rules to an old game, like if I was 'it' in a game of tag I would be allowed to give my head to someone or put it on the playground and everyone had to stay where I could see them as they ran away from me. And sometimes he just made a whole new game that would be easy for me to play. He had always been creative, he just stopped enjoying showing it off as we got older and his insecurities grew. But Adrian still just shrugged it off and looked back out the window as we drove.
"Ease up man, you're too hard on yourself. Bet you could make all kinds of shit to make shit easier on everyone. You made a prosthetic neck for Cal, what's stopping you from making other kinds of prosthetics? Or just helpful shit in general?" Topher piped up from the front seat, having finally taken his head out of the window for the time being. He tipped his sunglasses down to look back at Adrian. "Cal's right dude, you rock machines. Could easily make bank selling them." He continued, smiling as he went back to enjoying the crisp fall air. All funny jokes aside, he actually gets car sick really easily because it overwhelms his senses. Sticking his head out the window the way he does is easy gold for werewolf jokes, but the fresh air keeps him from losing his stomach in the car so we generally let it slide. Adrian was looking ready to protest further when Heather snapped her sharp, manicured fingers three times.
"Enough bickering bitches. Adrian, take a compliment, and you boys quit overwhelming him with them and making him uncomfortable or so help me I will leave all your drunk asses on the side of the highway." She snapped, and all but Rusheen knew she wasn't kidding. We called her bluff once and only once. She pulled over and pulled out a dog whistle and played it as shrill and loud as she could until Topher got out, then turned to me and aimed her pepper spray at my face. When we were both out she sped off and left us behind. Adding insult to injury she used the time it took us to get home to douse both our cars with cheap perfume to make us gag every time we so much as opened the doors. It took a week to air out our poor cars enough that we could breathe in them without all the windows down. So for fear of our vehicles being defaced we stayed quiet for the rest of the ride home, letting Adrian unwind and Heather play music off the radio. Heather made a pit stop at the liquor store and used my card to buy her favorite liquor as promised before we were finally back at my house. We piled quickly out of my old van and went inside. Kicked off our shoes and hung up our coats except Rusheen who still seemed a little cold even in his thick wool coat and rasta scarf.
"Alright, who's still drinking?" Heather asked as she made her way into the kitchen as if to play bartender for the evening. Topher gave a loud barking laugh and followed her into the kitchen to clearly pawn off drinks. I rolled my eyes and crashed on the couch.
"Maybe just one or two for me Heather." I called from my spot, stretching out my legs after the long car ride across town. Rusheen looked around curiously, his tail hovering over a floor vent near the door to warm up a little faster.
"Dis is ya home?" he asked, still looking about like he wanted to explore once he was all warmed up again. I smiled and gently nodded my head in my hands.
"Yeah. It was a lot of work to get this place, but I got it and I'm really proud of it." I bragged, kicking my feet up on the coffee table that was barely hanging on for life. It only had three legs when it was supposed to have six. The corners now were held up by milk crates Topher and I altered to fit, and the top that was once a nice glass is now a sheet of plywood that barely fits in the slot where the glass once rested. It was wobbly and ugly but it worked till I either got the spare cash to replace it or Heather deemed it unacceptable any longer and did it for me. Adrian then sat beside me and brought me out of my thoughts of my shitty coffee table and I decided to lean on him then.
"You hanging in there? I think I got ya that acai drink you said you liked. Should be in the fridge if you're thirsty." I chuckled, as if I wasn't trapping him to the couch.
"I'm fine. But why did everyone come with us?" Adrian asked, looking awfully disgruntled as he sat practically under me now.
"Because we're all going for breakfast in the morning. It made more sense to all crash here even if we didn't though, we all wanted to hang out a bit longer. If you're overwhelmed you can always go to your room bro and we can try and keep it down." I said, looking at him curiously. I didn't know why he was suddenly so huffy but the others hardly gave me a second to think on the matter as Heather and Topher came in with drinks and Rusheen made himself comfortable on my other side so he could hang the end of his tail around the arm of the couch.
"Anymore games boys or just drinks?" Heather asked, handing everyone but Adrian a glass of her treasured Holographiq. She then handed Adrian a glass of what I assumed was the last of the Fanta I had in the fridge.
"We could play never have I ever? Easy way to fuck us up and learn about Rusheen!" Topher piped up, already grabbing for his drink until Heather covered it with her hand and flicked his nose.
"We won't remember whatever we learn if we get smashed dipshit." She snarked sharply, making me laugh as I sat up off of Adrian and leaned more into Rusheen instead.
"I think I'm done with contests for the night anyways guys. Let's just drink and chat." I suggested, turning my head to Rusheen who nodded and discreetly wrapped his tail around my ankle. I couldn't help but smile then, crossing my ankles as if to hold his tail there while the others shrugged and agreed. Topher put on a quiet movie as background noise and we clanked our drinks in cheers and drank.
"So Rusheen, have you gotten homesick yet?" Heather asked over the top of her glass. Rusheen coughed and chuckled as he looked at his drink like it bit him.
"Nat yet. Ah do miss ma family, but ah wouldna say ah am 'omesick." He replied, trying a cautious second sip of the mixed drink as if hoping he would like it better than before but to no avail. I laughed and took it from him before motioning for Topher to grab him something else since I was much too comfortable to do it myself.
"If you don't like it, you don't have to drink it. Topher can grab you something else. Do you want a beer? Soda, water, juice?" I asked, flipping Topher off as he whined and got up to get the drink. Rusheen cleared his throat and looked between Topher and I.
"Uh, ah don' 'ere good tings about American beer, so ah'll try da soda please." He replied, Topher nodding and going to see what I had left. I sipped the spicy, fruity drink Heather made and chuckled.
"Yeah, our beer is pretty bad. I try to keep German beer here because of it. Or Japanese. Most other beers I can't stand either personally." I explained, making Heather roll her eyes.
"And you say I'M bougie. Seriously Cal? Being a beer snob all of a sudden?" She sneered playfully, making me give her a petulant glare.
"Sorry I try to keep good drinks in stock. But you still are in the dirt because knowing and stocking good beer is nothing compared to your wanting the best of everything you do, eat, drink, everything." I taunted back and stuck out my tongue which I immediately regretted because she grabbed it with her sharp nails and smirked.
"Wanna keep it up? I'm spoiled and I know what I deserve. I make up for I by donating whatever I don't use or get rid of thank you." She growled out fiercely, arching a finely shaped brow at me as if challenging me to try and slander her. I knew better than to do so but at least I could gross her out and get my tongue back. So I made a loud and wet gurgling sound and gathered what spit I could without my tongue and blew the loudest and sloppiest raspberry I could pull off and slathered her hand and sprayed the poor coffee table. Heather gave a disgusted and enraged banshee-like howl as she took her soaked hand back so she could slap me across the face so hard with her untainted hand that my head went rolling across Rusheen's lap and tumbled to the floor with a very painful thud.
"You disgusting fucking prick!!" She shrieked, grabbing Topher's shirt as he laughed so hard I swore he was going to puke as he howled on the floor.
"Don't grab a man's tongue if you don't wanna get spit on!!" I laughed, even if the room was spinning despite my head not rolling anymore. "And let's please stop deciding my head needs to roll about, I'm probably going to get a concussion at this rate." I groaned, my body stumbling over Rusheen and his long tail to try and grab my head again. I tripped though and my body fell beside my head which only made Topher laugh even more at my plight. As my body started to stand again, Rusheen had slunk his tail over to curl said tail around my head and pull it into his lap. Then reaching out to guide my body back to the couch and sit on his coiled lap. I didn't fight it. I sat and then took my head back to rest in my own lap this time. As Topher slowly stopped laughing he then gave a low whistle.
"Well you two seem to be getting close quick now don't ya?" he teased with a mischievous grin and waggling his eyebrows at us. I flipped him off with a free hand about to protest and taunt him back but Heather intervened.
"I'd say it's about time Cally-boy got back in the saddle. It's been, what? Almost a year since you and Jason didn't work out? I mean that guy was a total creep anyways but you've been taking longer and longer breaks between even dates let alone relationships and while I'm all for you being independent and not needing a man on your arm to make you happy you deserve it Cally." I sighed, really not wanting this conversation right now, or ever really. Never mind the fact that Rusheen and Adrian are both present.
"It's nothing guys, just haven't met anyone I think would work beyond a one night stand and those are so not worth the effort. No offense man," I directed at Topher who was still ever the playboy.
"None taken." He replied, sipping his drink completely unaffected.
"But I just want someone who wants a long lasting relationship. Not a supernatural groupie, or someone who thinks I must be kinky because my head isn't physically attached." I finished, sighing and taking a deep swig of my drink. Rusheen looked at me curiously as I drank, almost worried even. I wasn't sure how to comfort him, flirting is one thing, but actually dating is another. If he stuck around maybe we could try but for now I wasn't sure. Too much, too soon and I already had my hands full with Adrian.
"Anyways!" I continued, setting down my glass. "Adrian's machine was a huge hit at the hayride. We should see if we can design a version that would work better for daily life. There may not be a whole lot of us Dullahan in the world but I bet you at least one would probably love to feel normal once in a while and kill for a prosthetic neck." I praised, looking over at Adrian who was still quietly sipping his soda. He shot me a baleful glare for bringing attention back to him and I knew there would be hell to pay later but for now he would have to deal with being my scapegoat. I can handle a pissy Adrian, I would still rather deal with that than an angry Heather. Hell I'd rather deal with an angry bear than an angry Heather. At least once you win or get away the bear won't find a way to spite you at every turn after.
"I'm not making any more prototypes. That one was expensive and I'm not exactly employed right now in case you guys forgot so I'm not having you guys pay for one you're not even going to use yourselves." Adrian grumbled out, his brow furrowed and using his brown hair to cover as much of his face as he could.
"Dude then why not something else? Uhh, like… Oh, hey why not, like reverse scuba gear for merfolk?" Topher piped up, halfway through his Holographiq and looking more than a little flushed. I snorted and laughed at the very idea. Merfolk physically couldn't talk to us aside from sign language and pictures. Furthermore due to the awful pollution problems their numbers were dwindling more and more every year, and because of this fewer and fewer merfolk were willing to speak with anyone on land as they felt betrayed and ignored while their home was ruined. Couldn't say I blamed the poor bastards in the least, but it made things more complicated for both sides since if they didn't work with us we lose a lot of information about the ocean and sea life status in general, and their silence heightens tensions of the people in this world who wish supernatural beings would just go back into hiding or die out. When they got rowdy it made politicians anxious and they then focused more on keeping peace to avoid a race war rather than actually solving any problems.
"Topher, dude, an invention like that would likely cause more issues between those of us on land and the merfolk. They'll see we're ruining our own way of life and then none of them will ever commune with us again." I laughed, Heather raising her glass in agreement while Topher deflated.
"Ya mean da merfolk are angry 'ere?" Rusheen questioned obliviously. "Dey are mighty nice an work wit us a lot back 'ome." he continued, making all of us look at him in shock.
"Wait, like all of you back in Jamaica? Like they work with anyone?" Heather asked, looking both amazed and jealous and I had to agree. Rusheen nodded, looking less confused and a bit more worried now.
"Ya, we work out a trade wit dem and dey bring us stuff from da ocean, fish, da trash, shiny tings an we make stuff outta whatever dey bring us. In return we keep da beaches clean and trade back with dem tings dey can use or really want back." he shrugged, just the pure normalcy of how he said it made my jaw drop. Really only major tourist trap areas along the coast had any sort of contact or deals with the merfolk along the American coastlines and even then it was still tense on both sides, one we could barely call peaceful. A lot of tourists still break rules and throw whatever they feel like in the ocean or treat merfolk like they're just fish, so many merfolk either avoid them at all costs or humiliate those who broke the weak treaties so as not to start a real war but still get payback.
"There's too much pollution here for them to be happy, and not enough politicians working with them aside from people wanting to make deals for tourism. Though Jamaica is partially famous for your beautiful beaches, I guess it makes sense that a deal with merfolk would be most beneficial for your government." I mused, wishing it could be so simple here. Rusheen smiled and nodded, looking pleased we understood but worried about what we had to say about how things ran here.
"The beaches are dat bad 'ere?" he asked, brow furrowing in concern. Adrian for once let out a scoff.
"Everything is that bad here. The beaches, the people, the government. People come here from all over the world looking for a better life because at one point it was possible, it was a real thing here. Immigrants were happy to get the bottom of the barrel here because it was still better than home even if there were a lot more racist assholes back then. Now it's become so hard for anyone to get a better education, I'm honestly shocked all four of you got into college." he huffed, arms crossed and pulled his hoodie up before standing and starting to head to his room.
"It isn't all bad Adrian, we can still try and get you in college. And even if we can't, there's a good chance your skills will make up for it and you wouldn't even need it if you apply yourself and are persistent!" I did my best to encourage, I didn't want him to shut himself away from people again. My head was still too fuzzy to really understand what was wrong or figure out how to fix it, but I always had to at least try. "You know we would all be behind you the whole way, no matter what!" I promised, the others nodding beside me. Unfortunately this only seemed to anger Adrian.
"Thanks for reminding me I can't take care of my fucking self!! You all walk on eggshells around me like I'm going to break apart if you say the wrong thing, you defend me and praise me at every godamn turn like I'm some kid who needs to be coddled and I hate all of it!! I can't do anything right and always end up back on my ass here and you all step in as if you can fix me and make my life better and you fucking can't! I'm fucking broken and that's the end of it! You can't fix what's broken so I don't get why you guys try so fucking hard! The fuck do you guys get out of this?! Feeling good about yourself for feeling like you did a good deed helping the guy who can't even defend himself and gets knocked around by women all the time? Makes you guys feel better about your lives looking at how broken mine is?! Well fucking stop it all, because I can't stand your fucking pity anymore! Just leave me alone!!" he yelled, angry tears in his eyes as he turned and stormed off to his room. I felt my blood run cold as I stumbled to climb out of Rusheen's lap and follow after Adrian but Topher grabbed my arm and stopped me before I could get far.
"Cal, give him some space. He's not wrong man. We've been hovering over him since you brought him home. He probably just needs some space to think and to breathe on his own. No matter how toxic it's still a breakup, and I hate to say it but I know you probably didn't give him much choice in the matter. No matter how good your intentions bro he still should be the one to make those choices. The more you swoop in and save him from everything the less he learns." Topher reasoned, looking much more sober than I'd honestly prefer right now so I didn't feel like he was right to any degree. I know I didn't leave him much choice in leaving the last ex or maybe two… or three. But could it really be considered a bad thing? They were abusing him, I can't just let people treat my brother like a punching bag!
"I can't just let him stay in those kinds of relationships either Topher! I can't just pretend to be okay with the fact that they-" Heather stood and cut me off, a hand on my shoulder now.
"We know Caellum. We don't like it any more than you do, don't mistake this for complacency. We agree he needed to be away from those women, but if he doesn't fully come to the conclusion himself you're hurting him more because then he can never truly see the problem and start to heal from it. You're enabling the cycle by always stepping in to save him before he gets tired of it himself." she explained, looking worried as if I was the one needing to be comforted. Adrian should be the one being comforted here.
"And what if he never does? What if I just stand by and the next one is the last one? What if they go too far? What if I just ignore the bullshit going on and he ends up in the morgue instead of the hospital?! I can't just sit around and hope he sees that he deserves better, I need to show him!" Heather shook her head, helping Topher stop me this time as I tried to break away from them to get to Adrian.
"We are not saying ignore the abuse Caellum, we are just saying you need to not be smothering him like this! He knows you will always be there, you will always step in and you will always keep everything under wraps like you both can fix everything with band-aid solutions and you can't! He needs a therapist, and he needs to come to terms with everything on his own or he will never learn and keep making the same mistakes over and over again and neither of you will ever get to live your lives!" Heather snapped, moving in front of me and forcing me to look at her as she grabbed my chin in one hand and moved my hands to hold my head at her eye level which barely came up to my shoulders.
"Dude, remember when my mom found out we used to hotbox your old car? She was convinced I was going to become an addict because our people are known to have addictive personalities. She went on a whole cleanse of the house and of the pack till it felt like we couldn't do anything at all. I wasn't the only one who felt like they couldn't breathe anymore and it took my dad and my mom's council almost a month to convince her that it wasn't the end of the world because I smoked weed on occasion. It's not the end of the world if adults have a few drinks when we have the big pack get togethers." Topher reasoned, still holding my arms firmly so I wouldn't be running off. He knew if my arms were pinned I couldn't struggle unless I wanted to risk letting go of my head which could be detrimental in a normal fight. Heather nodded and kept her own grip on my chin and hands firm.
"Exactly. He should follow his own advice but that can wait for now. Caellum you are living your life literally hovering around Adrian to protect him. You both need some space so he can learn to stand on his own and so you can actually live your life for once." Heather reprimanded uncharacteristically gently, her face full of worry with her plucked brows furrowed and her eyes locked on me. Even with her colored contacts in I could see how this was affecting her and it only made me feel worse.
"I don't know how to just sit by… I can't just watch him suffer, he's been through enough of it after… y-you know…" Topher pulled me out of Heather's grasp and into a tight hug. After the abuse Adrian suffered at the hands of his mother, the belts, the burns, the gaslighting, the manipulation, it was a shorter list to say what he hasn't been through by her hands and the women he has dated since.
"I know man. I know. And we fully agree. We just don't want to see you do nothing but take care of him. We love him like family too and we want him happy but not at the cost of you doing nothing else with your life bro." He reminded me as Heather slowly joined the hug. It didn't last much longer, I couldn't handle all this affection for me when Adrian still felt he was alone. I pulled away from them and nodded, a little uneasy now.
"I appreciate it guys. But I just, he thinks he has no one. And until he realizes he isn't, I gotta help him." I explained to their obvious dismay. But I didn't wait for them to convince me to stop, I turned tail and went into Adrian's room.
"What's wrong? I thought we were having fun out there?" I asked, stepping inside and shutting the door behind me. I then got a very over stuffed animal to the face.
"Fuck off. Stop pretending to care so much, Caellum. I'm clearly just a burden on you!" he snapped, moving about the room clumsily with his arm now just in a sling and his ribs mostly better but still clearly sore and stiff. It didn't stop him from still trying to pack his bags it seems though. I quickly stepped over to him and grabbed his duffle bag.
"I'm not pretending Adrian, you're my brother. I care about you and I want to help!" I assured him, but it clearly fell on deaf ears as he grabbed my hand and wrenched it away from his bag.
"I'm only your brother on paper!! You just want to fix me! Change me so I can fit in with your perfect life with your perfect friends and I don't want to be fucking fixed!!" he yelled, voice even cracking as he glared at me and continued to struggle and pack his bag. His words felt worse than a sucker punch to my stomach.
"I don't want to fix you, I want to help you heal! Helping you grow and recover to move past your trauma isn't fixing you! There's nothing about you I want to fix or change Adrian! I just want to help you recover! And nothing about my life is perfect, nothing about my friends either! No one is truly perfect, that's a fact of life." I snapped back, feeling hurt and betrayed now as he seemed to ignore me and continue packing. "Adrian you have always been my brother, even before the adoption! I never fucking cared about the paper deeming it legally so, I cared that you and I always had each other's backs and we were there for each other! I cared that out of our whole first grade you chose me to talk to. I cared about how we woke up early every Saturday for cartoons, How in middle school you were the one to give me the push to go to my first swordsmanship club and start learning professionally. In High school you broke my head out of Collin Raftery's locker when he shut it in there to get me to shut up because he was done with the relationship and I wasn't." I reminded him, putting myself in his way then and standing my ground even as I felt tears well up in my eyes and he tried to shove me out of his way. "But sure Adrian, go on and say we aren't brothers if that makes you feel better. Go and pretend I never cared about you either. That I've never covered for you so you could sneak out. That I wasn't the one who got Avery Beckmeyer off your ass about doing his robotics homework for him. That I don't lie to mom and dad about your relationships and where you got your bruises from. You can pretend all you want. But you're not alone Adrian you're convincing yourself you are because you don't know how to deal with shit! You push everyone away because you feel like such a damn burden but we just want to help you feel like your damn self again!" I cried. I tried to ignore the way my voice would crack towards the end, I tried to ignore the frustrated and hurt tears welling in my eyes. I know he didn't mean it when he said we weren't brothers, but that didn't make the pain go away. It didn't make it any easier to take. He threw the bag onto the bed and glared back at me harder, his brown eyes looking so much colder than I can ever remember seeing them.
"Fuck you! You only stuck around because you had to! You just feel obligated to take fucking care of everyone around you as if they can't care for themselves! You just want to run everyone's lives for them because you think we're too stupid to do it ourselves!" he growled out lowly, shoving me towards the door, "You think you're so much better than everyone, so much fucking smarter that you can just lord over everyone and pretend you care, pretending like you're some gracious person for giving your guidance to every lost fucking lamb!! Well guess what?! I'm fucking done!! It was your idea to do the fucking hayride, I said no! I said I didn't want to and you and fucking Topher decided for me that it would be a great fucking idea! You assume you always know what's fucking best for me and you fucking don't!! I'm so fucking sick of the godamn games everyone seems to want to play! I'm done with you acting like I'm a helpless kid, I'm done with you making decisions for me, and I am so fucking done with your coddling me like if you so much as breathe in my direction I'm going to shatter like glass! So get the fuck out of my way, go enjoy that fucking snake cock you looked so eager to sit on, and let me fucking pack so I can get the fuck out of here so you can stop pretending you give a damn about what happens to me!" Adrian ranted relentlessly, and I felt rage build up like never before. I could barely see as I quickly whipped around and punched a solid dent in the doorframe. The old wood creaked and splintered harshly under the force of my fist which I probably broke on the second hit but I didn't care. It was better than hitting him and solidifying in his mind that I was like everyone else in his life, I refused to ever hit him even in our first fight. It was the only consoling thought I had as I glared at him and ignored the pain in my fist while he seemed to be transfixed on the blood dripping from my hand to the old carpeted floor. He looked shocked and terrified as if the anger left him the second I hit the doorframe and he realized he pushed me too far this time. I've never been a violent person despite having my swordsmanship skills and enjoying MMA when I can find the time, but right now all I wanted was to destroy the room to keep from punching Adrian in his damn face.
"You seriously want to stand there and talk shit like that to my fucking face?! Since when am I not allowed to just flirt with a guy?! Am I suddenly not allowed to date anymore?! Leave my love life out of this unless you want to make it a fucking problem. And since when have I EVER asked for anything in return for everything I do for you?! When have I ever lorded anything I've helped you with over your fucking head?! Go on, I'll wait. Because the answer is fucking never! I don't try to shove you into shit because I want to control you! You won't fucking open up and tell me anything anymore so I'm grasping at fucking straws on how the fuck I can help you move on! You didn't want to see a therapist so I convinced mom and dad to not push the matter and we stopped making you fucking go. You didn't want anything to do with pills for your depression or social anxiety so we didn't say anything when you told the doctor no! You stopped even coming out of your damn room unless I found something for us to do after Cathy threw you on your ass! The fuck am I supposed to do then Adrian?! Just let you waste away in your room like a fucking hermit?! I'm already at my wits end trying to wait for you to feel comfortable to tell me what the fuck happened, and I'm not going to just sit and hope leaving you alone with your thoughts is going to help because I'm scared of fucking losing you that way!" I was yelling at the top of my lungs by the end, still glaring at him through my misty eyes. I scoffed at myself, biting my lip and looking away with a slow shake of my head. I heard Adrian's door open behind me and I knew Heather and Topher were worried. They both likely heard my hand splintering the door frame and Topher no doubt smelt the blood still dripping from my hand. I still couldn't find it in myself to care much, I still felt raw and hurt and angry. So before they could fuss much I continued, "I don't know what you want me to do Adrian. I can only give you so much help. If you don't want to help yourself then of course everything is going to fall flat. So fine. Do what you fucking want. You know where the key is and your room is still here for you whatever the hell you decide." I finished, sighing and leaving the room to clear my own head and give Adrian space. Topher followed behind me and led me away from my bedroom which was honestly the only place I wanted to be right now.
"Dude none of us can drive right now, your hand is fucked. At least wrap it while I call Amelia to bring you to the hospital." Topher urged, leading me into the kitchen to grab my first aid kit. I had a few around the house with Topher and Adrian always coming around battered and bruised one way or another so it just made sense to me. I didn't fight him despite wanting nothing to do with any of it right now. I didn't have the energy after that fight and it was never worth it to fight Topher when I knew he was right. A very rare occurrence, but every dog has their day. I sat in a chair by the flimsy kitchen table while Topher got the kit from above the cabinet by the fridge. I placed my head on the table waiting for him as Rusheen slowly peeked in the doorway.
"Ya okay mon?" Rusheen asked feebly from his spot in the doorway. I scoffed, holding up my bleeding hand for him to see before Topher took it and started wrapping it in gauze.
"Oh yeah, everything's fucking perfect right about now. My brother's having a melt down and won't tell me anything anymore, suddenly he has a problem with me flirting with guys around him and now I get to deal with Amelia driving me to the hospital while drilling me for answers on what the fuck happened. Yeah, I'd say everything is really SWELL." I snarked sarcastically with the fakest smile I have probably ever pulled in my life. Topher pulled the gauze tighter around my hand and stepped purposefully on my foot. As I yelped at the double dose of pain he growled at me.
"He's just checking in on you like any decent person. Just because you're in your own shit storm doesn't mean you take it out on others dude." he growled in a low warning. Leave it to Topher to always be ready for a damn vibe check.
"I'm sorry. I'm not okay, in about any meaning of the word and I really don't want to talk about it further right now." I sighed heavily, closing my eyes so I didn't have to look at either of them right now.
"No one said you had to talk. Just check your tone dude. You know we want to help, but we're not going to be your verbal punching bags. Heather will talk to Adrian, and I can go with you to keep Amelia from grilling you too hard. You know she cares in her weird lawyering dictator way." Topher reminded me as he finished with my hand and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"I know. I just really don't feel fully up to her tough love right now." I explained, picking my head back up with my good hand and sighing. I turned my head to look at Rusheen who was still anxiously lingering in the doorway. "Sorry to ruin your first fun night out in America." I scoffed around a fake laugh. I genuinely had been enjoying myself until about, however long ago Adrian started melting down. Fuck if I could keep track of time right now. Everything was just a blur and I couldn't focus if I wanted to. Not that I wanted to try right now either.
"Ya ruined nothin. An ah'm 'ere more dan a night, leaves a lotta opportunity ta kick up a rumpus." Rusheen assured me, slowly coming into the room and settling on the floor beside me while Topher spoke to his likely very irate older sister. I looked at him over his word choice once more.
"Kick up a rumpus? Am I to assume that's your lingo for having a good time or something?" I asked, chortling at the way Rusheen nodded with a bright smile. I rolled my eyes with a tired sigh. "Yeah, more time to have fun later." I agreed, looking down at my bloody gauze covered hand. What a fucking mess this all was.
"Alright, it took a bit of convincing but Amelia's on the way. I owe her one for cutting her Flix binge night short since it's her one night off this week but she's on her way." Topher explained, Patting my shoulder and urging me to stand so we could get our coats and shoes to wait for her.
"Would ah be able ta join ya? Ah don' think stayin will make Adrian feel any bettah. An ah can use dis as practice fa school if ya don' mind." Rusheen told us, I felt like I was physically deflating at the reminder. Just my luck I almost considered giving a guy a shot and Adrian hates him for some unknown reason then I made a fool of myself by breaking my hand in front of the cute guy practicing to become a doctor.
"We can see man, but I don't think Amelia will bring my mom's van so there might not be enough room." Topher replied, Patting my shoulder again to remind me we need to move and get ready. I begrudgingly stood and the three of us moved to the living room but I was instantly angry again. My hands were shaking and it was hard to hold my head straight. Instead of breaking a second hand though I shoved my boots roughly on my feet and instantly drop-kicked my shitty coffee table again and again until there was clearly no saving it or the milk crates once holding it up. I didn't even care about the shattered glass cups and spilled booze now covering the floor. I crushed it all under my work boots until the glass was powder and nothing was salvageable. None of it made me feel any better but at least the anger was gone now. Unfortunately for me that gave way to just a bitter taste in my mouth and an empty void feeling in my chest with a heavy pit in my stomach. I just lamely kicked the remains of the innocent coffee table until Topher put his hands on my shoulders to turn me away.
"Come on man, go get your hand checked out." Topher said, gently steering me out the door and to Amelia's jeep wrangler.
"You say that like you're not coming." I replied dryly as he opened the passenger door for me.
"I'm not. Rusheen is to keep you company and to avoid pissing Adrian off further. I'm going to help Heather get Adrian in check." He explained, then getting the rear door for Rusheen to clamber in impressively for one with no legs for a jeep so high off the damn ground because Amelia loved modifying her jeep whenever she could. As I buckled in, Topher clapped a hand on my shoulder.
"Try not to fight the doctors too bad so you can come back in time to pay for breakfast bro." He teased, doing his best to lighten the depressing mood. I gave him a feeble smile and chuckle.
"Fine. But only so you don't have an excuse to eat my poor wallet out of existence mutt mouth." I snarked tiredly in return before Amelia reached over me to grab the handle on my door.
"Sorry to cut your bromance moment short boys but I don't want blood in my jeep and I would like to get home and finish my episode before I have to crash and get back to work." She huffed curtly before shutting the door pointedly on Topher who just waved as we pulled out. I sighed and looked at my busted hand resting beside my head in my lap. It just felt like a reminder of everything that was just falling apart. I didn't know what to do at this point. I don't know when my life got so out of control.
"Topher didn't go into details on what happened. Should I be worried I need to be representing you soon?" Amelia asked, eyes narrowing on the road in front of her.
"Not unless my own house can press charges against me." I replied bitterly, turning my gaze to look out my window.
"He lost da fight against da house, but he won against the little table. Notin left of dat one." Rusheen added with the faintest bit of amusement in his voice as he spun the short tale. Amelia for her part amazingly didn't miss a beat turning on the rear heat for Rusheen and opened her own window which she then spat her gum out of for it to land on the rear windshield of a car parked for a bar on the main strip. With her gum now gone she kept her face as close to the window as she could while still focusing solely on the road.
"Dare I ask why the usually most rational one of my brother's friends decided to choose such poor and unwilling opponents to fight?" She asked, clearly fishing for details as expected now. I sighed heavily and refused to look at her even as she pulled into the hospital parking lot.
"No, you don't. For reasons regarding turmoil." I replied bluntly and at that Amelia knew to drop the matter. After so many fights between her, Topher, Adrian and I about Adrian's exes and what to do we got to the point we had to just drop it. So to avoid anymore fights Topher, Amelia and I just dubbed the now forbidden topic of Adrian's poor choices 'turmoil' to just end the topic right there so we knew fighting was pointless and over with so no more was to be had for the time being. This meant Amelia was more often than not left out of the loop but as her own dictatorship-like attitude and want to drag Adrian to court was then by extension silenced it was usually a good thing. She growled and grumbled under her breath as she parked the car and quickly got out to let Rusheen and I out. Three hours, an excruciating rebreak of my hand followed by placing, casting and overall mental misery usually involved when dealing with American medical service later I was finally free to go. At three in the morning Amelia dropped Rusheen and I back off at my house with a message that Topher owed her double now that she had to go to work with no sleep and she never could finish her episode. I trudged tiredly up to the door and clumsily fumbled for my keys to unlock the door. Once I had it open, I let Rusheen get inside first. Following suit I shut the door and kicked off my shoes and threw my keys onto the hook beside the door.
"If you want to get a nap in before Topher drags us to breakfast you can either crash on the couch- fuck the coffee table. Um… fuck it, you can use my bed, I'll figure where to sleep after I find out where Heather and Topher crashed." I groaned, pointing Rusheen towards my bedroom while I went to the living room to see shockingly that the remains of the makeshift coffee table had been cleaned. No booze or glass remained to stain the carpet either. I'd have to thank them for cleaning up my mess. Heather was haphazardly slung about the couch in the most broken position I have seen her sleeping in yet. She was on her back with her legs bent under her as her spine curved so her head was almost touching her feet as it halfway hung off the couch. One arm over the arm of the couch and one touching the ground while covering most of her upper body was my blanket Topher got me for my birthday two years ago with an image of my favorite ineffable husbands. It was funny to see her legs and her pink hair poking out from the blanket as she did yoga poses in her sleep. Topher on the other hand was curled up in as tight a ball as his human body could possibly contort on the futon I kept for occasions like this. I had thought of getting a dog bed as a partial joke since he could actually shift and use it though even one sized for a great dane would be on the small side. But In the end I had just gotten a full Japanese futon since it was easy to pack away and was padded enough to be comfortable for most anyone to sleep on. He seemed to have just yanked it out of the top rack of my bedroom closet and set it up in the living room beside where the coffee table had been before my fit of rage only to fall asleep while trying to be a cat. I shifted my hold on my head to the crook of my bad arm carefully and used my good hand to grab my phone and take a picture to blackmail him later. Once my phone was back in my pocket I yawned and turned to check Adrian's room. Opening the door as slowly and quietly as I could I saw he was sound asleep curled around the giant weighted Axolotl plush Heather got him last Christmas. At least he was home and at least he was safe. Right now I guess that's all I could ask for. I slowly closed the door again and went towards my room when I saw Rusheen, who I then remembered I thought was supposed to have gone to sleep in my room.
"Hey, what are you still doing up?" I asked as quietly as I could so as to not wake Topher. Heather could sleep through just about anything to a literally dangerous degree, but with Topher's hearing he could wake up at the literal drop of a hat if he suddenly felt there was something going on. So I made my way over to Rusheen and herded him back to the mud room to minimize the risk of waking the werewolf still in a ball more akin to a cat on my spare futon.
"It is ya 'ome, I don' wanna take ya bed from ya. It don' feel right ta leave ma host high an dry wit no place ta sleep." Rusheen explained quietly, giving me a look that made me think he wasn't going to change his mind anytime soon. "Ya dun bruk ya 'and, ya need sleep ta get bettah. Ah'm not takin ya bed putus. Unless der be room fa two." Rusheen whispered back, looking equal parts genuinely kind and flirtatious. I gave a tired and slightly cynical laugh, using my bad hand to motion back to the bedroom.
"Maybe casanova. But there definitely won't be anything more than sleeping going on." I stated in amused exhaustion, ushering him towards the bedroom and opening the door. I grabbed some clean clothes and threw Rusheen a long and fluffy sweatshirt I usually only wore either to bed myself or when I was feeling especially lazy on laundry days.
"You can wear that to sleep in if you want. Do you need anything for your tail?" I asked, hoping to hell that wasn't an offensive question. It's not like I'd ever interacted with a naga before so I couldn't exactly know what was okay and what wasn't, and I was way too tired to even think of how most anything can be offensive in some way to anyone if one isn't careful about their word choice. Thankfully Rusheen just shook his head.
"Nah, da covers work jus' fine." he replied simply, taking off his fleece sweater and long sleeve shirt. As he removed the shirt I couldn't help but look over curiously and not just at his almost flat stomach and his slightly more toned upper chest and arms but also at the shirt.
"Wait, is that a Sabbaton shirt?" I asked, tilting my head a little closer and almost losing my grip on my head as I remembered the hard way that one hand was currently unusable.
"Ya know dem?" He asked, looking surprised. I nodded, honestly shocked myself.
"I love their music, they're pretty popular here in America at the moment." I explained around a yawn. As Rusheen pulled on the borrowed sweatshirt I set my head on the bed and started to quickly change myself, slipping on the comfy old sweatpants and a shirt I got off DEtsy that had a picture of Cerberus with a pomegranate and a logo print saying 'Persephone's Kennel Club, Loving your beast for all eternity'. I couldn't resist when I saw it as Dullahan were once seen as grim reapers, and it felt punny to me to have a shirt advertising to pretend to work for the god of the dead's wife. I had to explain to Topher when the shirt came in how instead of working for Hades collecting souls I'd be working for his wife tending to people's passed on pets and how it was a funny inside joke. A tedious task that sucked a little fun out of it, but the shirt itself was still worth it and now one of my favorite shirts. It was soft, punny and comforting as always when I slipped it on before retrieving my head and unlocking my head house.
"What is dat?" Rusheen questioned as I opened it and set my head inside. I had my body stand to the side so he could see my head in the little house.
"It's a head house. I keep my head safe in it because I move around a lot when I sleep, so this keeps me from getting another concussion from knocking my head out of bed." I explained, letting my body now clamber into bed. Rusheen chuckled when my body was mostly settled under the covers and my head was in the house. Before I could shut it though he climbed into the bed and coiled his tail around me like a living body pillow and I stopped.
"Small up yaself, putus. An Ah can keep ya head safe. Ah barely move when Ah sleep, an Ah don' tink ma 'alf asleep mind will be too 'appy wakin' up an not bein' able ta see ya cute face. Ah know ya canna help bein wit no neck an ya wanna keep ya melon safe, but it sound like a bad way ta wake up next ta just a body wit no head." He explained, getting himself comfortable as the big spoon behind me and his tail was so long he was able to fully surround me with it while minding my broken hand and coil the end up above my shoulders and make a little divot to rest my head like he did earlier. "Ya don' 'ave ta if ya don' wanna or ya don' feel safe. But Ah know ah can keep ya head as safe as the rest of ya, and Ah would appreciate wakin up with all of ya sweet self an not just ya body. Ya can trust me." he persuaded, looking at my head over my shoulder as he continued to curl around me. I couldn't deny it was surprisingly comfortable feeling his weight surround me like that. I wasn't short by any means, from my shoulders to my feet I'm about 5'10, and my swordsmanship training along with MMA left my body more on the lean muscular side so I wasn't exactly small either. The way the thicker end of his tail curled around once around my left leg and trailed up to drape itself back over my torso and wrap around my left shoulder before finally curling into a makeshift pillow was both warmer and more comforting than I'd have imagined. Maybe that's just me thinking Naga's would be more cold blooded and always imagining despite my knowing better that cold blooded meant you always felt cold one way or another, but it felt nice to be wrong about that. It made me want to sleep all the more, not debate on the actual safety of letting him actually hold my head as we napped. I bit my lip as I quickly debated my options and ultimately let my want for sleep and current enjoyment of resting in his coils win.
"Fine, but if my head falls out of bed and I need a second trip to the hospital, you're taking the blame and you best be the one to take care of me after. Since you're studying to be a doctor and all." I warned, mostly teasingly as I reached for my head with my good arm and carefully placed it atop his coiled tail. I couldn't see it but I could practically feel Rusheen beaming behind me while his tail adjusted to my head's weight to make a more comfortable hold for both of us.
"Ah tink Ah can 'andle dat." he whispered, shifting himself and his tail to move my head so I could see his face. He was indeed beaming despite his own tired state, his eyes barely open but his fanged smile clearly visible even in the dark room. I chuckled and closed my eyes then, flicking his tail playfully as I made sure my body was comfortable once more.
"Goodnight Rusheen." I yawned, finally settled and falling asleep.
"Goodnight Caellum." he replied, and even if it was the first time he called me by my actual name, I could feel myself smile as I drifted off and loving the way he said it.