"Mirror"
The reflection might be the same but a chances that it has a different personality or background will never be zero.
---
"Han!" Ethan exclaimed as he hugs the guy who looks exactly like Yuan.
"Your back!" Kei exclaimed.
It was suddenly like a reunion for all of them while I just stood there in shock.
I was so close in running away from this place but my feet would not move.
"Everyone, this is my older brother, Han." Ethan introduced him.
The guy named Han smiled and all of the guys gathered around him as if he was some sort of a celebrity.
They kept talking like that and us girls was a bit left out so Lia suggested that we have some girls time too for ourselves which they quickly agreed as if our presence was not that important.
Wow... So even after being reincarnated, he was still popular like a Prince? Funny enough that I want to puke.
We went to a guest room to freshen up ourselves as they decided earlier, when I was gone, to spend the night here to finish the project. We all changed into a comfortable clothes provided by Jay as we didn't bring any spare. It was too big for us that we almost look like we're babies in adults clothes which made us all laugh.
It was a nice idea that these two asked for some me time so I was able to calm down from all the stress that I had for today so I wanted to make the most out of it because I know that later, I would need to face them again.
I lay down the bed and took a quick nap. Hana and Lia went out to play by themselves after I fell asleep.
After a while -- who knows what time -- I woke up with the sound of the door opening and there I saw Jacob sneaking in while hugging a pillow.
He seems to notice that I was already up because of him so he scratch the back of his head and smiled awkwardly.
"Sorry for waking you up, the other rooms were locked and I was really sleepy. I'm not planning anything! I swear, I just wanna sleep peacefully. The guys were too loud, I couldn't even get a nap." he explained.
I can see in his eyes that he was really sleepy as he was almost in tears while stopping himself not to yawn.
I smiled a bit as I find him cute.
"You can rest here, I got my fair share of sleep so I'll go and help the others now." I said as a stand up, getting ready to leave.
He mouthed thank you and immediately lay down into the bed and covered himself with a blanket like a burrito.
He was really cute!
I mentally slapped myself as I let my guard down once again.
I don't even know whether this person was from my past life or whatever. I shouldn't act like this...
But he was just really cute... Can this be an exemption? I thought.
I took a deep breath and went back to the arcade room where the others are gathering and there I saw half of them playing while the others are finishing the project.
Most of Jay's friends were back to their own business leaving us, group mates along with Ethan to work on the project we left when Yuan -- no, Han arrived.
I scanned the place to see if he was still here but he is nowhere to be found.
Ethan seems to caught on who I was searching so he told me that Han left after leaving some snacks as he was a busy man.
I did not say a word. It was a good thing that he left, therefore I won't need to walk on eggshells around him.
We continued to work on our project and they decided to use what Jacob and I suggested. Though it was a bit uncomfortable for me to share my ideas or I must say experience, since it was practically my life story but what can I do? It was already there so might as well bear with it. It was also the best way to finish this hell of a project so I can go back to my peaceful student life, away from people.
We decided to use the name 'Amiya' for the main character and like the me from my previous life, she also lived in a Kingdom, arranged to marry the Prince while loving a different man.
Though we decided to choose different names for the other characters and places, it was all the same with the way the place was described and how the characters' personality works.
The only difference is that in the end, Amiya will live a normal life after she forgive those people who hurt her and there she got her happy ending.
Unlike me...
"We're almost done!" Lia said as she stretched her arms.
Most of them are already exhausted so I felt guilty as I took a break when we were barely starting the work a while ago.
"Let me wrap this up." I suggested.
They did not agree with me at first but they gave up in the end as they were really tired. Well, except for Ethan who voluntarily helped.
"I've done this before so let me help you finish the last part." Ethan said.
The others went to play with Jay's friends despite being tired while the other went to sleep leaving Ethan and I alone in the study area.
While adding some finishing details to our manuscript, I noticed that he kept stealing glances from me.
It was kind of awkward as it was only our third time interacting with each other, not to mention he was also the present Yuan's younger brother and also my past lover from my previous life.
"Is there something on my face?" I asked.
He shyly smiled.
"No... I'm sorry, I was just distracted. You look different..." He said while blushing.
I was confused for a moment. What so different?
Then I just realize, I do look different. On my usual days in school, I always had my hair braided and I always look ragged or messy but today, after we changed into Jay's clothes, I just let my hair loose and I somewhat looked clean? Funny though. Is that how messy I look before?
I laugh at the thought.
"You look pretty..." Ethan murmured enough for me to hear.
I looked at him with a flushed face.
Wow... He called me pretty. What a privilege.
We were in a long awkward silence after that remark of his but we miraculously finished our work without a single conversation.
I was honestly holding my laugh when I noticed Ethan was attempting to start a conversation from time to time but ended up just shutting his mouth out of embarrassment.
Why am I surrounded with adorable people? I almost forgot all my worries because of him.
"Thank you for helping us with our project." I said breaking the silence.
He finally smiled widely and was about to say something when William came and cling his arm to Ethan's shoulder.
"Kei want's to go on a night drive, wanna come?" he asked. I don't know if it was Ethan or me he was asking but I guess it's not me. Why would I even be invited, dummy!
"Want to come?" Ethan asked as he anticipated my answer.
I'd love to... Is what I wanted to answer but I can't.
First of all, I am not close with them, second, I still have to go to my part time job tomorrow and I just can't sacrifice the already tired body of mine just for some moment of fun.
"I'm sorry, I need to rest for the night. I still have work for tomorrow." I said.
They both looked disappointed but had no other choice but to leave as is.
Ethan, along with Jay's friends bid their goodbye to me as they go on their way leaving just both me and Jay.
"Are you feeling okay now? You don't look okay a while ago?" Jay worried asked.
"Yes, there's just a lot of things going on in my mind but thank you for asking." I said and smiled.
Jay was always this kind as if he was an older brother for all of us. He might be clumsy but he is sure dependable.
After that we went to our specific rooms to rest and I saw Lia and Hana sleeping soundly while hugging each other.
"These cuties..." I whispered as I covered them with a blanket as they looked cold with their position.
I lay down in bed to rest as well but I felt something beside me and there I saw Jacob sleeping soundly while still covered with a blanket.
I laugh silently with his position.
He really looked like a burrito... I wanna hug him! So cute!
While still laying beside him, I intently stare at him. It might sound creepy but I couldn't help it. He was so cute, sleeping soundly with his pillow and blanket.
His lashes were long, his nose was perfect and his lips... It was really really pretty...
I did not notice this before but he somewhat resembles Solon in a way but not completely...
The moment I realized it, I sat down abruptly causing Jacob to wake up.
My heart was beating fast again...
I was scared with the idea that he might really be Solon.
I was about to stand up when a hand grabbed my arms causing me to lay down in the bed once again.
It was Jacob... He was now awake.
He stared deeply in my eyes as if he was searching for my soul.
"Who are you?" he asked.
I was about to say something when he closed his eyes and went back to sleep as if he just had a dream.
I was stunned...
Just what in the world happened?
I quickly get up and changed into my own clothes and left the mansion to go home.
I couldn't bear to stay in that place anymore fearing for my life, confused with all the 'what ifs' running in my head so I decided to leave for the sake of my sanity.
***
It was already morning and I couldn't sleep a wink.
I went to my part time job even though my mind was a total mess. I was almost like a zombie working! I will not be surprised if some of the customers run away if they saw me.
Since it was weekend, it was given that we have a lot of customers as I was working at a barbecue restaurant. Although my mind and body was tired, I don't have a time to idle since I am in need of money.
Time passed by quickly and I didn't even notice that it was almost evening. There were a lot of people coming in out but someone caught my attention.
A very pretty girl was waiting outside the restaurant. It seems like she was waiting for her date?
I was currently serving near the window so I had a good look on her. I couldn't see her face but she seems familiar to me...
I was about to cut my curiosity when I saw William running towards the girl and when they started to walk their way inside the restaurant, my jaw immediately dropped along with the tray that I am holding.
It was Hana and William...
What the actual sorcery is this?
This was the most random pair I have ever seen in this life. Like how did my shy and strict Hana turned into this? She was even holding the hand of the most playful guy that I've met in this era.
Is that even possible?
I ran and hid behind the counter as I don't want to interrupt them. There must be a reason why they kept their relationship from the others and I don't want to be a nuisance.
They were being lovey-dovey the whole time that they were in this restaurant and I wanted to just curl due to cringe.
My Hana is all grown up, I just wanna cry but why do I have this urge to pour cold water to the both of them?
They're too sweet for my eyes! I'm going blind!
I quickly wrapped up my shift and left immediately as I don't want to bump into those love birds. I've had enough for today!
"Illa!" a voice from behind called me.
It was Lia and Jacob. I think?
I was too exhausted for today that my eyes were blurry and I felt a bit dizzy. I really need some rest so I decided to ignore who was calling me and tried to walk my way home but I bumped into someone and at that same time my legs just gave up.
What a good timing, tsk.
Good thing the person whom I bumped into was kind enough to give me a hand.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I wanted to say I'm fine but honestly I am not. My body was on its limit that I could not even stand anymore.
The person or should I say the guy who helped me decided to carry me when he did not hear a response from me. His heartbeat tells me that he was nervous or panicking as it was beating fast as his breathing, then when I was about to black out, I heard Lia's voice asking the guy to bring me to the nearest hospital.
Then all my senses were shut down.
***
I opened my eyes and noticed that I was in the hospital. I was about to panic as I thought I died again but I realized that it was not possible.
I haven't even met Solon yet so there is no way that I am dead though I met someone who could be him, I couldn't verify it so I guess it does not count? Well, I don't even know how this reincarnation thing works so whatever.
"Illa! You're finally awake!" Lia came and hugged me with tears in her eyes.
"I was so worried when we saw you fainting on the street! Good thing Han helped you!" she said while still hugging me.
So it was Han?
"Stop clinging to her Lia, she's still resting." Jacob also came in and dragged Lia away from me.
I stayed silent. I don't know if Jacob even remember what happened last night but I cannot risk myself with something I am not sure especially not in front of others.
"Where's Han? Lia asked.
"Paying the bill I guess?" Jacob said as he lay down on the empty couch.
He seemed normal to me so I guess he was just dreaming last night.
Maybe I was just overreacting? I thought.
Lia smack Jacob's tummy causing him to sit properly and then Han came in.
"How are you feeling Illa?" he asked.
How can he be so casual when this is just the second time that we've met? Call me paranoid but it is just too suspicious.
I stared at him for a moment.
I know I was scared, no actually I am terrified... But it somehow feels different than before.
"I'm fine... Thank you for helping me, I'll make sure to pay you back with the hospital fee." I plainly said as I avoid his gaze.
I know Jacob and Lia was looking weirdly at me right now as I, myself don't know why I am acting cold to the person who helped me.
"No need, I'm glad that I can help." Han said.
I was about to reject his kindness but he suddenly changes the topic so I could not refuse.
"What are you two doing outside this late night huh? Are you on a date?" He asked Lia and Jacob.
Lia gave a disgusting look at Jacob and the other was just speechless.
"Umm... Ew?" Lia said as if she was really disgusted about the idea of her, dating Jacob.
"Excuse me!? I don't want to date you too!" Jacob exclaimed while blushing.
I suddenly forgot about Han's presence because of these two.
I laugh unconsciously while watching those two as I find them cute in a way. I don't even know what is wrong with me. All I know is that I was surely having an emotional conflict right now, I don't know whether I should be happy, scared, bothered or what. Maybe I'm just plainly going crazy.
Han laughed too...
I was fascinated at that moment...
Yuan and Han has the same face... But the vibe and personality that they have? It was totally different...
"You two, why don't you just go home. It's getting late and you still have to go to school tomorrow." Han said as he pushed those two outside the room leaving us alone.
We were both silent for a while not until he broke it...
"I'm sorry about those two, they tend to get noisy sometimes." Han said as he sat near my bed.
I just looked at him.
His hair was messy and his clothes was disheveled as if he rushed over just to get here.
"Ah! Sorry, I was in a rush when we brought you here that I forgot to fix myself hehe." he said when he noticed that I was looking at how messy he looks right now.
While he was busy tidying his self, I couldn't help but ask...
"Why are you always helping me?"
He looked at me and his gaze started to change as if he was possessed by something.
He looked so sad and was in the verge of crying...
It was too sudden that I don't believe it was just the normal Han... It was like he was someone else...
"I wanted to make up with all the things that I've done to you..." he said as his tears started falling.
At that moment, I saw him...
Yuan...
He looked so miserable that I my tears just kept flowing as he did...
I wanted to curse him... Kill him to be exact but I couldn't bring myself to... There was this feeling that was stopping me to do those things...
Han realizes what he just said and tried to wipe away his tears.
"S-sorry... I think I was spouting nonsense... Just don't mind me..." He said as he stand up and was about to leave but I hold his hand to stop him.
He can't just leave me confused like this...
I need to confirm whether he was really the Yuan that I knew and hated or the Han whom I just recently met.
He looked at me with a sad expression and said...
"This must be my punishment... The more I see you, the more you resembled her and I can't bear to be happy...
I'm so sorry..."
I let go of his hand...
It was the answer that I did not expect I needed...
If this person was really Yuan, I think it would be the exact words he would be saying after my death.
The person whom he was pertaining to... Was it the me when I was still Amiya?
I unconsciously hugged him and said...
"Stop being miserable..."
Yuan -- no, Han might be also confused as I was right now.
I don't know what punishment he was talking about but the way he said it... It was almost like it was weighing his mind too as much as I do when I kept dying and being reborn, leaving us both confused and scared.
I was afraid to forgive... But if I would be given a chance to do so, I want try it without regretting my decisions may it be Yuan or Solon...
Maybe just like in the story that we made... Giving those people who hurt me, another chance was a way to keep me alive.
I will never be so sure but I have nothing else to lose so why not try... If he was indeed Yuan, the fact that he tried to make up for those mistakes was enough for me to make up my mind and get myself a grip.