All his life Theo had two dilemmas.
One, he knew he was powerless and vastly inferior compared to the others but he wanted to pretend he was not. And that's why he never liked being treated differently. Of course- he still wanted to be treated better- he wanted more- and that's what led to the hypocritic feelings.
And two, goals. Theo had goals in life. Goals set by other people. Of course, he set goals for himself too but those goals were again… mostly just trimmed or cut versions of someone else's dream.
And he knew that.
Knowing so only deepened his existential crisis.
That's what led him to lead a miserable lonely life.
It was also why he treated all those around him as better- or rather- 'as better' as he could.
Maybe often time even pretending to be good.
Perhaps some of them saw through it.
Perhaps some of them didn't.
And in the end- it didn't really matter.
After all-
After everything-
