After hearing Xiang Han's words, System quickly conducted a full body check for him and was immediately dumbfounded, [Mr Xiang, this body had recently consumed an aphrodisiac.]
[What?] Xiang Han was stunned, [Isn't the Jin family too rushed, to actually give a mentally challenged person such a thing?]"
[No, the aphrodisiac…was probably…the fruit you just ate.]
[…] Xiang Han was flabbergasted.
[Then, Mr Xiang, I'll turn on the censor for now…] The System could not bear to watch.
[Come back.] Xiang Han wanted to cry but had no tears, hurriedly stopping it, [Apart from that, is there any other way?]
Legend had it that not only was this fruit able to let a man give birth, it was completely, 100% effective! He had decided to take the lover's route, but he hadn't planned on giving birth.
[Silly, time to counterattack!] Big A hated iron for not becoming steel.
Little B, […]
Xiang Han was practically sweating buckets. Hearing this, his eyes lit up and he turned towards Xu Yan Ze. Since they were going to be taking the lover's route anyway, they'd first make love. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with that.
Xu Yan Ze held a glass of wine in his hand. Feeling Xiang Han's stare, his hand shook, causing some of the wine to spill.
He turned around to see Xiang Han's flushed face and heavy breathing. He frowned, had this fool taken some kind of spring medicine?
By this time, Xiang Han had already waddled over to where he stood and dared to pounce on him and rub all over him. He feigned stupidity, "Wife, Wifey… cold, comfy…"
He didn't know if it was a psychological effect or Xu Yan Ze's identity as an ice-ability user in the past, but when Xiang Han hugged him, he truly did feel much cooler. He couldn't help letting out a comfortable moan before using what he'd learned from Shen Ze in the past. He gently kissed the nape of the other person's neck to his ears while his hands roamed about unrestrained.
Xu Yan Ze's face was extremely dark, the glass of wine had already stained his clothes. In his opinion, this fool was simply like a dog, hugging, licking, and biting him like a piece of rib.
Xu Yan Ze was dying to send him flying with a kick but his body was too weak. He had only been pounced on and his vision had already gone dark, where would he have the energy to kick a person? More dangerously, after being roughly licked and bitten by this little fool, he actually began to have a reaction.
Struggling for two years in a post-apocalyptic world could even make a sow look beautiful to him1. In the beginning, he only felt that the little fool was rather white, but on a closer inspection, he actually appeared rather good-looking.
Xiang Han chewed on him for a while before changing his target and went for his lips. Then, he stretched out a pink tongue to explore deeper. Xu Yan Ze let out a muffled groan in pain and silently scolded in his heart, the boy was truly a fool. This person didn't know anything.
However, Xiang Han actually thought his skills were pretty good. Having obtained the upper hand in pushing down the other person, his hand began wandering south.
Xu Yan Ze finally couldn't bear it any longer and counterattacked. Ensnaring the unreasonable little tongue which had been harassing him, he began to suck on it. Xiang Han felt his scalp go numb and his tongue also began to lose feeling. His hands quickly changed direction, pressing against Xu Yan Ze's shoulders, wanting to escape.
However, Xu Yan Ze felt it wasn't enough. He chased down the little tongue and entangled with it once more while dragging Xiang Han's head back, not allowing him the chance to evade.
When the kiss ended, Xiang Han was panting, but he refused to admit defeat. Using all his effort to pin the other person onto the ground, he went straight to removing their clothes, wanting to begin the main event immediately.
Although Xu Yan Ze's energy was lacking, he had survived in the apocalypse for two years after all. How would he lack some self-defence tricks? Seizing an opportunity when Xiang Han wasn't ready, he lifted a hand and brought it down on the back of his neck.
Xiang Han's body went numb, falling softly to the ground.
Xu Yan Ze took some time to catch his breath before finding some red silk to tie Xiang Han up and drag him onto the bed.
Xiang Han's lower body had long stood up from the torment of the mythical fruit. A certain indescribable part had also begun to feel extremely sticky and unbearable. After being tied up, he began to rub himself against the sheets as he looked pitifully at Xu Yan Ze.
When he met those tear-filled eyes, Xu Yan Ze's breath grew heavier.
To have survived in the apocalypse world where one could be eaten without even the bones left, Xu Yan Ze had long abandoned the so-called morals and compassion. This little fool was a bit plump but nonetheless, extremely cute and tender. Since he had personally delivered himself to his door, there was no reason not to eat him.
But this body's energy was simply too lacking, and god knows how long it'd been starving for. If he even used a little more energy, his vision would grow dim. If he really went for it, it would simply be too embarrassing if he fainted while doing it halfway. Moreover, he had gobbled his food too quickly earlier and his stomach had begun to hurt, he simply couldn't feel the urge to do it.
Xu Yan Ze felt it was truly a pity and rubbed the little fool's white and tender face, "Stop crying, just endure it."
"Wuu…" Xiang Han's mouth was gagged by a strip of red silk as he desperately shook his head. He only felt his entire body growing numb, as if electricity was coursing through his veins, causing a certain part to harden painfully. If he didn't release soon, it'd lose its function.
Xu Yan Ze finally detected the abnormality and reached out a hand. But as soon as he grabbed a certain part through his pants, the other person trembled and cried out.
Xu Yan Ze was also growing increasingly heated, and couldn't resist pulling Xiang Han into his arms, fervently grinding against him. He subconsciously lowered his head and was stunned to see the sheets below his body had become wet, "You've wet the bed?"
Xiang Han's face reddened, shaking his head through muffled groans.
Xu Yan Ze couldn't help reaching a hand in deeper and felt a certain part that had become wet. His eyes widened in shock as he thought, this soft and tender body was…truly top quality. He was also feeling increasingly unbearable and thus, rubbed their bodies tightly together.
After releasing, his head had begun to spin once more and his sight had dimmed. Nevertheless, savouring the aftertaste, he felt that it was incredibly comfortable and dragged Xiang Han back for another round.
Attaining satisfaction once more, his vision had gone dark again, so he simply closed his eyes after releasing Xiang Han from the red silk and said, "Rub it out yourself. I'll rest…"
With this rest, he fell asleep. Xiang Han's logic had been muddled to the point of not knowing what was going on. After his hands regained their freedom, he began to move and he didn't know how long it took before the heat slowly dissipated and he fell asleep in a daze.
In the middle of the night, both of them were freezing and they took turns tugging on the blanket. But under the quilt, it was filled with peanuts and walnuts shells that made their backs itch. Xu Yan Ze couldn't stand it anymore and woke up, grabbing the quilt as he rolled onto the ground and continued to sleep.
Xiang Han suffered for the entire night and when he woke up the next day, he felt a terrible ache in his back and stickiness between his thighs. He was immediately stunned.
Just in time, Xu Yan Ze got up from the ground and massaged his shoulders in discomfort.
Xiang Han turned towards him and murmured, "Wifey, I'm afraid your husband will be expecting soon."
Xu Yan Ze's actions froze, and his face turned dark, "You're not algae, how can you undergo mitosis?"
They had rubbed each other a little last night but didn't go all the way. Moreover, if he didn't remember wrong, men had to eat the mythical fruit in order to get pregnant…hmm?
He suddenly turned back, "You ate the fruit?"
"Yeah." Xiang Han nodded in frustration. He had been thrown into confusion afterwards and couldn't remember what happened.
Xu Yan Ze paused and let out a low cough, wanting to explain that he'd only used his fingers…and didn't really enter. But he suddenly realised something else in surprise, "You're not dumb anymore?"
"Uh…" He'd forgotten to keep up his act.
Xiang Han was a little stunned, but he quickly regained his wits, "I'm also unsure of what happened but I suddenly became clear-headed. Probably…because of wifey's blessings."
He had originally planned to use this excuse to pave the way for his clear-headedness and help Xu Yan Ze avoid the punishment of having to kneel, so he hadn't intended to act dumb for too long. Now that he'd been discovered, it wasn't a big deal.
Hearing the word "Wifey", Xu Yan Ze's lips twitched and he said with a gloomy expression, "I think it's because of the mythical fruit."
Speaking of the fruit, Xiang Han's heart grew stuffy. He stretched out his chubby hands and said melancholically, "Wifey, help your husband change his clothes. We need to go serve tea2."
Xu Yan Ze directly hit his hands back down and asked, "You're really Jin Bao Han?"
Jin Bao Han had been born a fool, how could he suddenly become clear-headed and knew everything?
Xiang Han stared at him dumbly with wide eyes and asked innocently, "Wifey, what are you saying? Why doesn't your husband understand?"
"Don't understand?" Xu Yan Ze let out an evil laugh and hooked up his chin, "You've been a fool for over ten years, but woke up clear-headed one day and actually know how to call yourself 'Husband'. You even know about the mythical fruit, pregnancy, and serving tea? Have you really become clear-headed or have you become someone else?"
Xiang Han's heart trembled but his expression didn't change. He continued to feign ignorance, "Wifey, what are you saying? Of course it was granny who taught me all these. Granny also taught me how to consummate our wedding."
Saying so, his expression grew solemn, "Speaking of which, wifey seemed to have become another person. Granny said when it comes to consummating our wedding, the husband should be on the top and the wife is on the bottom. But ever since wifey woke up…"
"Hmph." Xu Yan Ze flung off his hands and interrupted him, "Get up if you're awake."
After all, he had indeed transmigrated over. Once the matter touched upon him, he no longer wanted to continue.
Having successfully steered the conversation away, Xiang Han was relieved. Glancing at his wrinkled clothes and smelling the sweat on him, he called, "Sister Jin Cui?"
Jin Cui was Jin Bao Han's headservant. Although it was inappropriate for him to call her sister, that was how Jin Bao Han usually referred to her as.
Jin Cui was already waiting outside when she heard this, "Young Master, you're awake?"
Xiang Han made a sound of agreement, "I want to bathe."
Jin Cui heard his words and was silently shocked. The young master's words were fluent. Could it be that he had…recovered?
She quickly ordered the servants to prepare the bath before asking, "Young master and young mistress, may this servant enter?"
Xu Yan Ze was drinking water when he heard the term 'young mistress' and couldn't stop himself from spitting out a mouthful in time.
Unfortunately, Xiang Han was sitting across him and directly received a faceful of water.
Xu Yan Ze, "…"
Xiang Han wiped his face and with a face full of saliva, he replied resentfully, "Come in."