𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨.
Heeseung POV
It was 9pm on a Thursday night. I was woken up by my dongsaengs ('younger siblings' in korean) running around. I got up to my feet, my body screaming at me to stay in bed, but I had to take care of them. Because I'm the oldest. I got up to see the members all crouching around our maknae Niki at the toilet bowl.
"Niki ah, what's wrong? Why are you all here?"I asked. "Heeseung hyung, Niki is having a fever and a stomachache, we think he has stomach flu."Sunoo told me. "I see, if you need my help just call me ok? I'll be in bed n-"I got cut off by someone shouting," Hyung! What are you doing! Niki is suffering and all you can do is go back to bed? You are the oldest! How can you just not care about him?"Jay hollered at me. I could feel the floor shakin- oh wait, I'm dizzy. I turn back to see all of them except Niki looking at me in disappointment.
"I'm sorry guys, I'm having a headache right now, just spare me a night will you-" "Stop using excuses hyung. With all due respect, I can bet 100% you are going back just to use your phone on your bed."Jake replied. When I heard that, I was on the verge of tears as I turned back to them, with one thought in mind,'yeah, I'm the hyung. I can't be sick, I can't be in pain, I will always need to be there for my members.' Choosing my words carefully, I stared at Niki with cold eyes and looked back to my members before uttering,"If he gets worse bring him to the doctor, if he feels better you know where the medicine box is." I threw Niki one last glance before going into the room, grabbing my bag.
I went to the kitchen to grab painkillers from the medicine box on my own, gulping it down. Making my way out of the dorm, I couldn't care less about who was calling for me. I am so tired.
Before I knew, my feet brought me to the bridge of a river. Staring at the water body below me, I felt my face getting wet.I was...crying. I felt ashamed. As I saw Niki's weak body huddled over the toilet bowl, and the members all trying to help him feel and get better, I got jealous. I couldn't believe I was jealous of the maknae getting so much attention. At home, I was the youngest. Everyone would care for me when I was hurt, when I was sick, when I was down. But now, I became a nobody. Niki falling sick is a big deal, and between Niki and me, he was obviously more important.
The more I thought about how the members did that to me just now, more and more tears fell on my face, before I slowly trudged back to the dorms. As I made my way back, I could feel my body slowing me down more and more. Just then, I had a phone call. Manager hyung.
"Hyung."I called."Heeseung ah, are you ok? I heard what happened at the dorm."Manager-nim asked. "Hyung." "Heeseung ah, are you ok??? Are you crying?!"His voice grew more worried. "Aniya, I'm really ok. Hyung, I just want to tell you this. Don't panic. Just listen to me. If I don't reach the dorms by 12am, you can try to look for me. If anything happens to me, don't tell the members,ok? I'm sorry if I have been so useless and such a burden for everyone. Honestly, I wished I didn't exist, or I wished I had older members to look after me. Because after all, the maknae is the most important in a family, and the oldest, doesn't need care at all."As I said that, more tears flowed out, as I felt so much pain, physically and internally. "What are you saying, Heeseung ah?? Calm down, don't do anything stupid, ok? Send me your location, I'll go pick you up. You stay right there ok-" "I'm at the river near the house. Take your time, hyung. I'll wait for-" The line went out.
No One's POV
The line got cut off. As Heeseung was on the phone with his manager, he turned his back towards the walkway on the highway on the bridge of the river when he saw. He saw. A truck running on full speed lose control as it was moving towards him and the driver desperately telling him to get away. At that point, he decided to bluff his hyung and said he would wait there. But actually. He didn't even need to take his own life. For the first time, he thought god was actually fufilling his wish. To disappear.
Manager POV
The sound of a crash rang through the phone, shocking and freaking the hell out of me. I ran to my car and drove to the bridge of the river.
As I got there, the police have surrounded the scene. I was trying so hard to figure the situation out, when I got pulled aside by the police. "Are you a witness at the scene?"I was questioned, and could only shake my head. In too much shock, I ran back to the policeman to find out what happened. "You don't know? A young lad was standing on the walkway on the bridge when a lodging truck malfunctioned and crashed into him. We are trying to get witnesses. If you excuse me," the policeman walked away.
At that moment, my heart stopped. Tears were at the brim of my eyes as I forced my way through the crowd to see. My one and only. Heeseung. Not giving a damn about the passerbys, I walked past everyone to him, looking so pale, blood all over his body. "no. no, no, nono, nonononononononononononoNO!"I cried, rocking him in my hands, trying to get him to wake up, by he was motionless, his face so pale, so cold.
"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING WATCHING AROUND! CALL AN AMBULANCE! PPALI!!!!" My whole mind was blank. All I want is Heeseung back.