This fourth installment went much better than the third and was well received, so I'm proud to share it with you all. It was supposed to be the new finale, and probably should have been, but then I finished Paradox(the game) and it got the gears turning about how to adapt it to my version of the universe. So that led to a fifth book, that didn't feature Luka but serves as a lead-in to Paradox, and then Paradox itself, which really will be, honest to goodness, the last book in the series. But if you want to end your reading experience here, this is a good place to do it. I was really proud of how this one ended.
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"No way in hell!"
That's my wife, Alice, also known as the Monster Lord, talking, or more accurately, yelling. What she's referring to is what I talked about at the end of my last book, going to save Ariana's world. Alice isn't objecting to me doing it. She has a surprising affinity for her counterparts, or variants, or whatever you call them, once she learned such beings existed. What she's objecting to is me going alone.
"But Alice!" I objected. "I'm sure you realize the risk of doing this differently! I have to do things exactly as I did them last time to be sure of achieving the same result!"
"Ah, let's recount what you did, then," Alice replied. "So you got dragged halfway around the world by my counterpart getting treated as refreshment, until she realized you were special, at which point she escalated because you needed 'training'…"
"Which is," I pointed out. "Exactly what you did to me on our first journey."
"Then you get raped by Tamamo," she continued. "Taken back to the Monster Lord's castle to get raped again and again by all Six Ancestors until your mind cracks, and then you make a miracle recovery using your power in ways you never have before, thanks to Ariana's encouragement and your desire to get back to me, which was very sweet, by the way. Then you seal the Ancestors and destroy Black Alice, because she decided to talk for a bit instead of fight and left the gems of her rings exposed for you to destroy."
"Exactly," I replied, as if that plan made total sense.
"So first off," she said. "No matter how hard you try, things won't go exactly the same. There will always be little details you remember incorrectly, or reflex actions you take that are different from the ones you took the first time. Those subtle differences can change things. Since you'll be purposely putting yourself in critical ecstasy and letting them destroy your mind, and it's been fifty years since you performed those feats, the chances of you succeeding in doing things exactly the same way are astronomical. More likely you're going to screw it up, get yourself killed or enslaved, and I never see you or learn about what happened to you. I'm not losing you again!"
"You've never lost me," I noted. "That was a different timeline. Thanks to Eden sending me back, it didn't actually happen."
"Having you tell me how I lost you for thirty years feels more like it really happened than you think," Alice retorted. "Nope, if you're going to travel to another universe again, I'm going with you. That way if we get trapped at least we're trapped together."
So a few things. First, as you probably remember, I don't win too many arguments with Alice. Second, this story just became a lot more confusing because now there are two timelines thanks to Eden mucking about sending me back in time at Ilias' direction. Somehow, that made Ilias, but not Eden, aware of both timelines, and she claimed it was all her idea to begin with. My age, as far as my personal experience goes, is eighty. It's been ten years since I was sent back as a seventy year old into my younger self to do things differently, because apparently Eden couldn't stand the fact that I would die. So once again, she became a tool of Ilias, and while I was grateful at how many things turned out, there were still loose ends to tie up, some of which I'll probably never remember and which I'm sure will have consequences.
The best part about getting sent back is that I got to see my children grow up. Nero and Neris were nine years old, and I was quite certain that they were the greatest children to ever walk any world. I was relieved to see that their power, which they inherited from me, albeit at a lower level, was not yet accessible to them. Even if it had been, they could only use that power together. They looked more like me than Alice, but somehow whatever Alice's genes did to them made them attractive, whereas I thought myself to be fairly homely.
The other wonderful thing about going back was that Alma Elma didn't have to die. She'd been killed in the battle to retake the castle from the Dark God, but since I was vastly more powerful when I was sent back, I'd dealt with the Dark God with just a little help from Granberia. Alma Elma's loss had been particularly tragic because I'd only known her a year as a friend rather than an enemy, and there seemed to be so miuch left unsaid between us. Over the last ten years we'd become much closer, almost a three headed monster along with Granberia. Inseparable, best friends.
So anyway, back to the story. I was losing an argument to Alice about whether I was going alone to save Ariana's world. The argument could have been academic, however, because I still didn't know exactly how to get there. Even worse, I had no idea what the timing was. I needed to arrive when I would meet Ariana in the woods. To accomplish that, I needed to know how time worked between Alice's world and hers, and Promestein assured me it was even more complicated than that because I had entered her world from another world, not my own or Alice's. Promestein loved working on the problem because it was so complicated and she had always been fascinated by alternate and parallel universes. Plus this time she knew that her probes hadn't been the cause of the dimensional rifts that had occurred while they were searching for me in that other timeline. That had actually been my fault, for removing the Dark God from her world to mine, which upset the balance of light and dark energies in Alice's universe.
If time worked exactly the same as in Alice's world, which was unlikely, I wouldn't be due to visit Ariana's world for another twenty years. But I was antsy, because if it worked differently, I could already be too late. And Promestein hadn't even completed step one, which was finding Ariana's world in the first place.
"Fine, Alice," I sighed, surrendering. "You can come with me. I suppose it coiuldn't hurt to have backup, and then maybe I don't have to get raped next time."
"Thank you," Alice said with a smirk of satisfaction. "Besides, I thought you loved fighting with me rather than having me stay out of it. It was your dream for the longest time."
"It was," I conceded. "I just don't want to risk you. I don't want to lose you either."
She came forward and gave me a big hug, which more often than not, included her tail.
"You're sweet, darling," she cooed. "Besides, I want to meet this counterpart of mine. She sounds amazing. It makes me proud to know that if I hadn't grown up in privilege that I'd still have been so wonderful."
"First we have to actually get there," I noted. "Promestein's progress on that hasn't been as great as I'd hoped. I'd started to get the impression she could do anything."
"She's a brilliant scientist, no doubt," Alice replied. "But her success rate isn't one hundred percent by any means. Remember that she changed herself into seaweed? You've asked a lot of her. There are millions of worlds out there and Ariana's isn't adjacent like yours is. Justin brought you there and then sent you all the way back to me in that other timeline. Look, Luka, that was his prophecy that said you'd come. When he needs you, I'm sure he's going to make sure you get there. I just hope…. No, I DEMAND, if you're listening oh mysterious god of this section of the multiverse, that you bring me along as well."
It turned out that Alice called it pretty well. Justin's own grand plan wasn't about to be foiled by a lesser god mucking about with time. But that's next chapter. For the moment, I'd just like to share how great my life is. Not that my life wasn't great in the other timeline. It's just that so much had changed in thirty years. Granberia wasn't the same person anymore due to the loss of her two best friends. She had become a more philosophical person and the primary mother figure to my children in my absence. We remained as close as ever, but she wasn't really… fun, at least not most of the time. The experience had made her have to grow up all too quickly, and yes, having to grow up in your late twenties when you live 500 years is way too soon.
The Granberia that I spent my time with in this new timeline was the old Granberia I had loved and missed so much. We sparred nearly every day, watched the same shows, hung out with Alma Elma, and helped raise Nero and Neris. My one year of paradise that I had been so cruelly cut off from, only to return to a world and people who had changed, was in this new timeline entering the tenth year. As much as I resolutely refused to be grateful to Eden and Ilias for doing this, it sure felt great to live that old life again that had been all too short the first time around.
On this particular day Granberia and I had not been sparring, mainly playing with the kids, watching TV, just enjoying each others' company. Late in the day, Alma Elma came back from wherever the heck she had been to join us. Sometimes she went to the colosseum, other days she went to actually do her job and be queen succubus, something she only started doing once she heard that succubi might start to go monogamous if left to their own devices. She also did typical succubus things, like finding men to play with, especially men who were not nice to their wives or girlfriends who needed to be taught a lesson. The three of us were sitting playing video games, as we often did, when it occurred to me to ask a question.
"Alma Elma," I asked. "Do you ever give nice guys the time of day?"
"Men are usually too intimidated to hit on me unless they are overconfident," she replied. "These men think they are Ilias' gift to women and almost all of them are assholes. Dominating them is so much fun!"
"Then maybe try hitting on a nice, shy guy yourself," I suggested.
"You know, maybe I'll try that," the succubus replied. "Now that I know a good man is possible to find, maybe I should be rewarding good men as well as punishing the bad ones. It's not always a good idea for me to do that kind of thing, though. I wouldn't want a nice guy to fall in love with me or get addicted to me. At best, he'd be ruined for other women, even other monsters. At worst, his heart would break and he'd jump off a high roof."
"You realize you could find a good man and marry him," Granberia pointed out. "There are no rules against marriage for succubi, no qualifications. You can marry any man you desire."
"There are no rules, Granberry," Alma Elma giggled. "Because why would a succubus ever want to get married?"
"Succubi have taken lovers," Granberia argued. "Take a nice man as your lover."
"It's an idea," Alma Elma conceded. "If I ever meet a man worth all that, you two will be the first to know. But right now I'd rather talk about the one nice guy I do know. Luka, wanna wrestle today? I know you haven't been sparring with Granberry so you've got the energy."
So let's be clear about how Alice's tolerance for me hanging out with other women has evolved. She started out being insanely jealous, then we got married and she tolerated at least platonic affection between Granberia and I because she trusted us. But Alma Elma, there would be no wrestling, because Alma Elma was simply not trustworthy. But then came my first anniversary in this castle, which she labeled my "birthday", and I got what would turn out to be an annual hall pass on that day. In addition, she began to tolerate Alma Elma and I sparring, and Alma Elma was surprisingly not abusive with the privilege.
Now that's not to say she was a good girl. Alma Elma was naughty with a capitol N, she just wasn't going to turn wrestling matches into pleasure attacks, many of which for her were one shot kills. She did, however, often get grabby or overly playful. My face ended up between her breasts on many an occasion, or my pants would mysteriously disappear, forcing my penis to directly rub against her body as we struggled, or she'd just come right out and grab it with her hand. This was nothing less than Granberia had done from time to time. Granberia had a playful streak as well, I just didn't know when it was coming because she was usually so serious during those matches. With Alma Elma, I knew what I was getting into the moment we locked up.
That being said, Alma Elma's control was perfect. Never once did I orgasm during one of these sessions. If anything, she seemed to enjoy getting me worked up and then sending me off to Alice's room, which Alice would usually have returned to by that time after a tough day of Monster Lording. I'd arrive there so horny and worked up that I'd engage in some aggressive sex of my own, which Alice really loved, although she would always reestablish a few minutes later who the dominant one in the bed was.
Now Granberia, on the other hand, being less experienced, she would sometimes cause…. accidents. The grabbing and playful biting, as well as all the grinding would cause an er…. Emission, which would embarrass me and make her worry that she'd gone too far and violated Alice's trust. She needn't have worried. Alice at first had supervised our contests and ordered us to quit whenever she judged Granberia to not be taking things seriously anymore. She left us alone knowing that Granberia's occasional antics could result in…. an early finish to our contest.
"I'd love to spar with you," I said. "Any chance it'll be a real wrestling match this time?"
"If you can beat me in the first five minutes, sure," Alma Elma replied cheerily. "You know me, I get bored easily. And you know what happens when I get bored."
I knew all too well. I also knew that much of the time Alma Elma wasn't waiting one minute to start the shenanigans, much less five.
"Five minutes?" I mused. "Sounds like a challenge. No elements, no powers? Just our physical bodies?"
"For the first five minutes, anyway," she replied. "Why, you feeling that confident today?"
"It's not as if he never defeats you," Granberia noted. "In fact, given sufficient time, he would usually defeat you under those conditions."
"Ah, Granberry," Alma Elma sighed. "Always doing it the honorable way. I'll commit to five minutes. Then all bets are off. Anything goes. At least what Alice will tolerate. If she ever gave me full license….."
"Then you'd wreck him in thirty seconds every time," Granberia chuckled.
Not today, I thought. Today I have a plan. Why didn't I think of this sooner?
My brilliant plan was neither brilliant nor wise. I simply planned to turn the tables on Alma Elma if she started messing around with me after the initial five minutes by mimicking her power and fooling around with her. The problem with that is that I got a misguided sense of how effective this tactic was because it had two preious successes: first, it had gotten Alice to understand a little of what she did to me, so she stopped making fun of me for being weak. That's not a combat success, however. The lone combat success I'd had with the tactic was against Minagi, and that was a special circumstance. She had been using a killing technique on me, and mimicking her power had meant that the technique had started to kill her as well as me. Since she wasn't used to even a small amount of monster sexual magic assaulting her senses, it knocked her out very quickly. Trying the technique on the unreformed Tamamo in Ariana's world had backfired. All it had done was reward her for raping me by making it more pleasurable for her. I should have learned from that, but apparently I didn't.
The match started out as they normally did between the two of us. We locked up and tried to gain a positional advantage. Let me tell you, there is no positional advantage against a succubus with massive breasts and soft skin everywhere. Even if she wasn't trying, it was tough to concentrate once locked up with her. Nevertheless, I'd done this many times before and thought I was getting pretty good at ignoring her suppleness. I almost had her beat, too. Five minutes in and I had a pretty solid hammerlock on that I thought she couldn't break.
I was wrong. She'd merely been waiting for the five minutes to be up, then reversed me, pushed me down, and placed the full length of her body on top of mine, grinding her thankfully clothed crotch into my also thankfully clothed crotch. She ripped my shirt off and started kissing and licking my chest. That's when I activated the magic, which did not go as planned.
"Oho!" Alma Elma said. "I was waiting for you to try something like that! I'm just surprised you never thought of it sooner. Well if you're going to go that far, it's time to begin your training."
"Training?" I asked. "What training?"
"Alice has been asking me to give you sexual lessons for years," she replied. "If you're going to use my own magic against me we might as well start your first lesson."
Before I knew it a breast was in my mouth. "Mmmmm, very good…" she moaned, then grabbed one of my hands and forced it into her pants. Was this girl always wet? I slid my finger into her with no effort. Her hand slid into my own pants for a little exploration. Her ability to multitask, not to mention her flexibility, was insane. Then I felt a finger from my other hand enter her mouth. Alma Elma sucking on a finger is like a human woman sucking on your penis. With another couple of fingers in her pussy, I was sure I was going to find out if a fingergasm was possible. Alas, it was not, but Alma Elma sure seemed to be enjoying herself.
After a few minutes of that, the breast left my mouth, only to be replaced by her wet vagina pressed against my face. I licked as best I could while she ground herself on my face. Her hands had left me to play with her own breasts. Then, just when I thought things were getting interesting, she abrubtly got off me and started to walk out.
"What?!" I protested. "When's the lesson! You didn't teach me anything!"
"Oh, you're fine!" she chuckled. "I knew that you still couldn't be bad in bed after fifty years of experience. You passed. Lessons are over. Your wife should be in bed waiting for you now. Go satisfy your lust there. I'd get cleaned up first, though. You've got me all over you."
Going to get washed up and getting to Alice in a hurry was the plan, but I was waylaid, first by the uncommon site of Erubetie wandering the castle halls, apparently looking for me.
"You really should learn how to speak telepathically, Luka," the queen slime said by way of greeting. "It would be so much easier than having to search for you."
"I wouldn't even begin to know how that would work," I responded. "How do you distinguish other people's voices in your head from your own?"
"I have ten thousand voices in my head and I can distinguish between all of them."
"Oh. Soooo….. what did you need me for?"
"There is minor trouble in Plansect Forest," Erubetie began. "Don't worry, they haven't come to blows as groups yet, but a disagreement between a high ranking insect and a high ranking plant nearly ended in tragedy when they began fighting. Both were injured. I believe that your presence there will deescalate things."
"Why me and not Alice?" I asked.
"The Monster Lord should not intervene in such disputes," Erubetie explained. "They will feel forced to say all the right words in her presence and then may begin fighting once she is gone. You are a special diplomat, however. You ended their war all on your own. They respect you, and there is an element of fear as well. They will not want you to return and repeat the act, and they know you are far more powerful now than you were then."
"So you want me to be… intimidating?"
"No!" Erubetie answered. "Be yourself. In this case I believe the respect will be a greater motivator than the fear. Monsters are vengeful. It is hard for them to ignore slights or not hurt back when they have been hurt. As a human whom monsters respect, you have taught us much, but not seeking vengeance has been one of the hardest lessons. Your Mr. Nice Guy act would be most effective at mediating this dispute."
"Okay, do you need me now?"
"Tomorrow morning will do," she answered. "It is late and I see that you are….not in a condition for diplomacy in any case, unless your plan is to feed both sides until they forget their dispute."
"Okay, tomorrow morning it is," I said. "I assume you'll give me a lift to the necessary location?"
"Of course!" Erubetie replied. "Alice would prefer that you not try to teleport yourself except in emergencies."
"Wonderful, I'll see you in the morning, then."
"Very well," the queen slime responded, with a slight bow. "I'd tell you to go to your wife at once to resolve your… problem, but Promestein caught me in the hallway and asked that you see her as well before you retire for the night."
That piqued my interest. Usually I had to barge in on Promestein to get any information out of her. If she was actually seeking me, she must have something big to report.
"I'll be sure to go to the lab, then," I said. "Um…. Erubetie?"
"Yes, Luka?" she asked.
"You know, I feel that I'm really close to the other three Heavenly Knights," I began. "But it seems that our relationship is still so…. Formal. I know you don't hate me anymore, but there still seems to be a bit of a distance between us."
"I spend less time in the castle than the other three Knights," she explained. "As you know, Granberia and Alma Elma live here full time, and Tamamo divides her time between Yamatai and the castle. But I have taken responsibility not just for my children, whose plight is still worrisome despite the massive efforts to clean their habitats, but I have also been keeping the peace in Plansect Forest. If you have doubts about how I feel about you, Luka, perhaps I can demonstrate my feelings on your birthday, which I believe is only two weeks from now."
Guh. In fifty plus years on this world I still wasn't used to how easily monsters propositioned me. Still, it had been so long. From my perspective, I had last enjoyed Erubetie over fifty years ago. For fifty birthdays since, she hadn't offered and I hadn't asked. Now I felt bad about it. Maybe it was just as much my fault as anyone's that we didn't seem to be close.
"That would be wonderful!" I responded. "But I want more than that. I'd like to do something with you that doesn't involve…. That."
"Oh?" she replied,arching an eyebrow. "I'm glad to hear you say that. We definitely do not spend enough time together. How about we start your birthday early then, with a date? I have not yet visited your world. Dinner and a movie, perhaps?"
"Dinner and a movie sounds fantastic. What kind of movie do you want to see?"
"I like comedies," she replied with a smile. "Specifically, I would like to see Tom and Jerry."
"Oh," I responded, nonplussed. "A fine choice. Can you pass for human like the other Knights?"
"Can I pass for human?" she deadpanned. "The question you should be asking is which human you would like me to pass for?"
With dizzying rapidness she changed herself into several human forms, many of which I recognized: Alice in her human form, Sara, even a few celebrities from my world.
"I think it's a date, then," I said. "I'm really looking forward to it."
"As am I," she said with a wink.
Entering Promestein's lab, formerly my server room, which I had long since given up on, taking over a different room of the castle for my daily work(and buying new equipment to boot), I noticed a giant display I hadn't seen before. It had to be at least seventy inches!
"I see you're spending your research money rather liberally," I noted.
Promestein turned, noticing me for the first time. "Oh, sorry, I needed this to show you what I've been working on. Don't worry, it won't be just for the one use, I can think of a ton of things I can do with a screen this big."
"No worries," I assured her. "You've been with me for fifty years of my own life, even if it's just ten of yours, and in all that time you never once wasted my money."
"Thanks for your confidence, boss," she replied sheepishly. "So anyway, I had a bit of a breakthrough at finding your Ariana's world, although I still need to set expectations. Rather than having probes go from universe to universe gathering data, which would have taken us millions of years to find the one you're looking for, I figured out a way to scan them all within a certain range. Since I already did a worldwide scan for the Five Rings of Brocia once before, according to your book, that gave me the idea to do it on a wider scale. Here are the results."
She tapped a button on her keyboard and innumerable dots appeared all over the huge display.
"What am I seeing here?" I asked.
"That's individual universes, each one where the Rings of Brocia are currently united."
"It looks like a million of them!"
"Actually," Promestein explained. "297,659. But you don't realize how much this narrows it down! Before, there were billions! If I sent a probe to each one of these, we've got a forty-seven percent chance of finding Ariana's world within the twenty years you're likely to be needed there."
"That's assuming that time works the same way there as here," I pointed out. "If time works like it does in my home world, we're already too late."
"Luka," Promestein said. "I admit I don't really care whether you make it to her in time or not. To my scientists' mind, I see almost three hundred thousand worlds that also need your help. You can't save everyone. I do this project because it's so fascinating and I'm learning so much. But think about it. If there are three hundred thousand worlds with an immortal Black Alice, how many of those worlds have a Luka to save it? Did Ariana's world even need you? When you jumped those last few times, weren't you just occupying the body of an already existing Luka? Maybe you just did what he already was destined to do."
"Maybe," I conceded. "I still have to know if she's all right. I know it doesn't seem to make sense, but when you know someone you care about them. I don't know anyone on those other three hundred thousand worlds. I know her. I can't let Eden and Ilias messing with the timeline doom her to death or slavery."
"I'll keep working on it," she replied. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about. Something… not scientific."
"Oh? I'm listening."
The scsientist seemed to struggle to find the words, then winced and decided to come right out with it.
"Would you consider….. me… as a partner for your birthday this year?"
My jaw must have hit the floor. First Erubetie, now Promestein? Let me take a moment to talk about the last fifty years of birthdays. Starting with the forty I had in the other timeline that only happened for me. At first, I was a bit of…. Well, let's just admit I was a manwhore. There was a trip to succubus village for the long awaited thank you for giving them a safe place. Then there was harpy village. Getting mobbed and gang banged by over a dozen beautiful women at a time is quite something, I can tell you. The succubi were incredibly skilled, as was to be expected, but the harpies, with the queen herself directing traffic, matched them due to coordination as efficient in a bedroom as on the battlefield. There was also the one birthday with Granberia, Nanabi, and two Ancestors that you've read about, although that was sprung on me. Most years I chose my partner or partners.
But as the years went on, I became more conservative. Most years I simply treated it as a very special day with Granberia. Alma Elma was dead, Erubetie seemed uninterested, and Tamamo was so traumatized by what her counterpart had done to me that she was revolted by the idea of getting sexual with me. Nothing I could say would change her mind, not that I didn't keep asking every few years or so to see if she might change her mind. Since the Ancestors' counterparts had also raped me, I avoided asking them as well so as not to upset Tamamo. The one time I did, you've ready about. So on the years Granberia was busy or away, Nanabi was usually my backup.
The last ten years, which I spent in the timeline that this book is set in, and which all future books will be set in(fingers crossed), I limited myself to one partner, again, usually Granberia. But two of the last ten years I did have other partners. Tamamo, who I got to fully enjoy for the first time in her true form, was the first, in year three, I believe. She was still too fresh off being rape happy herself to be terribly bothered by the fact that her counterpart had raped me. It was an incredible night. Then there was the birthday night with Alma Elma. She'd asked if I wanted her to make love to me again. I told her no, instead I wanted her to "do her worst", short of killing or turning me into a vegetable, of course. I really have to do that again one of these birthdays, because I don't remember much about that one, other than that I was drained completely dry by the time she was done with me. I had to sleep it off for the next three days. It was so good to have her back. Why had I only asked her once in the last ten years?
It did not appear that this was going to be either Granberia or Alma Elma's year, however. "Sure, Promestein, you honor me with that request. I'd love to. Erubetie already asked, so it'll have to be after our date. We'll be going to my world for dinner and a movie. Would you like to do anything that night as well, besides…."
"No, I just want to fuck your brains out," Promestein said with a grin, knowing how much that kind of language would cause me to blush. "I have to make detailed plans. If I'm going to be as memorable as the queen slime, I'll have to up my game."
"Okay, just no seaweed please?"
"No seaweed," she laughed. "I promise. Only this angel body."
I got washed up and finally entered our marital bedroom. Alice was waiting for me, as usual at this time of night. Usually I arrived first, but as you've read, I got waylaid a couple of times and in any case, Alice had apparently finished her own work early. I eagerly hopped into the bed, causing Alice to giggle. We snuggled up.
"Thank you for washing up, but it still smells like you and Alma Elma were wrestling," Alice said, wrinkling her nose. "Must be why you're horny. It also smells like she went further than she was supposed to with you. Direct disobedience from her is rare. What happened?"
"She rationalized it as giving me those sex lessons you asked her to give me a decade ago," I explained. "So yes, she took some liberties."
"Oh," Alice responded. "Well then, show me what you learned. I have to know if letting that walking obscenity put her body all over you was worth it."
I turned on the magic and reached for Alice's breasts. She gasped in anticipation. Then the door opened.
"Mommy, can we sleep with you tonight?"
Appearing as if on cue were our two lovely children, Nero and Neris. Adorable nine year olds. I reminded myself how happy I was to be able to watch them grow up..
"Oh, what's wrong, sweeties?" Alice asked.
"There's a monster in the closet," Neris answered.
"Really?" Alice sighed. "Nero, who is in the closet and why?"
"No, mommy, not a good monster, a bad monster!" Nero insisted.
"Alice," I said. "do you think it could be a-"
"Don't you dare say that word!" she interjected angrily, then turned sweet. "Darling, please go look in the children's closet. If it's a monster, you have my permission to let her take care of your….. situation. If it's that other thing, make it go away. By any means necessary!"
I trudged over to the kids' room. It was getting to be about that time to give them their own rooms. There certainly wasn't a shortage of them in this castle. But being twins, they were insperable and resistant, so Alice and I didn't press the issue. Alas, there was no beautiful monster awaiting me in the closet, nor was there a ghost, or Freddy Krueger, which would have at least given me the opportunity to use violence. What I found instead was the clothes in the closet arranged rather suspiciously. I turned off the light to confirm my suspicion. Sure enough, if the door was just slightly ajar, it made a very scary shadow on the wall, making it appear that indeed, something very dangerous was in the closet. I rearranged the clothing so that it was good and proper, then just to be sure, I turned off the light again. Monster vanquished.
I returned to my room to find Alice cuddled up with the children. I carefully climbed into the bed. There was certainly enough room given the size of it. Our marital bed was much larger than a California King, since Alice liked to be able to stretch her full length out on it, or sometimes perpendicular if she so desired. That meant we slept on a 15 X 15 monstrosity of a bed. We could have easily fit ten more scared children on it, plus a family dog, with ease.
As I drifted off to sleep, I had no idea that I wouldn't be waking up in that bed.