I materialized in a lightly forested area. I had no idea where I was. Nearly every region on this world had some lightly forested areas. I looked around. I thought of trying to take to the air to get a better view. That's when Justin's warning that I'd see what was wrong with my adopted homeworld when I arrived came to fruition. A huge portal opened up a short distance away from me. Stepping out of that portal was a giant robot that looked like a reject from a Michael Bay movie.
The huge robot seemed to scan the area. When it sighted me, every light on it lit up red and it advanced on me, opening fire with machine guns mounted on its shoulders. I responded instinctively and violently. One blast turned the robot into scrap metal, shrapnel flying everywhere, parts raining down for the next several seconds. The portal remained open. Should I do something about that? I wondered.
I tried to focus my power and imagine the portal closing. That got me nowhere. I wasn't even sure what I was looking at. It seemed like it should be a portal, and it behaved like a portal, but how does one close a portal? I was running up against the limits of my power once again. Imagination can do a lot, but understanding mattered too. And I had no understanding of this phenomenon. I needed to do something before something even scarier came out of there.
As I wracked my brain trying to think of what to try next, two figures teleported in behind me. They barely regarded me, walking right past and towards the portal. They seemed to be human, a man and a woman, but I'd never seen humans teleport before. Then again, it had been a long time since I'd been on this world. A lot could have changed.
The two each carried a black staff which they held at the ready as they advanced to within a few feet of the opening of the portal.
"Ready, sis?" the man said to the woman.
"Always," she replied with a smile.
They struck their two staffs together. Eldritch energies traced around the border of the portal. When the energies had completed their circuit, surrounding the portal, the portal began to close. When the portal vanished, the two separated their staffs and turned to me.
"Usually, something comes out of these rifts," the man said. "Judging by the mess, it must not have been well made. Are you all right, sir?"
"I'm fine," I said. "I'm glad you two showed up. I was trying to close that portal but just couldn't get it done."
"With what, a hammer?" the man asked jovially.
The female looked around at all the metal parts lying on the ground and stuck up in the trees.
"If he did have a hammer," she observed. "it was Thor's hammer."
"What did happen here?" the male asked. "Did you have anything to do with this?"
I'd hoped not to have to use this phrase again, given that I was supposedly where I belonged, but… "It's… hard to explain."
"I've got time," the man said. "Do you have time, sis?"
"All the time in the world, Nero," she responded. "I'm not an expert in robotics, but robots don't fail that catastrophically. Was there a monster here who did this and left?"
"i…. I did it," I admitted."I hope it wasn't your robot. I broke somebody's golem awhile back."
"No, definitely not my robot," the man she had called Nero said. "You destroyed it? With what? A bazooka?"
I sheepishly made my hands glow. Their mouths dropped open in astonishment.
"That… That's not possible," Nero stammered.
"Nero, I recognize him," the woman said. "He's changed a little, but the pictures…. He'd be about that old now."
"He looks the same age as us!" Nero exclaimed. "Dude, what's your name?"
"I'm Luka," I replied. "I know you're Nero, what's your name?" I asked, looking at the female.
She seemed at a loss for words. "I'm…. I'm Neris," she replied. "You're not messing around with us? You're really Luka? Luka Fateburn?"
I was home! In all of my one hundred plus jumps, I had never been to a world where I was married to Alice. All of my jumps had been somewhere between my first arrival in Ilias Village two years before my journey with Alice, or just before the war with Ilias. This had to be my world! I loved how I was now thinking of it as my world.
"Yes, I'm Luka Fateburn," I said. "I've been gone a long time. I've been trying to get back for I'm not sure how long. Do you know if Alice is doing well? How long has it been since I left?"
"Yeah, I'd say we know Alice really well," Nero replied.
"She's our mother," Neris said.
My legs nearly stopped supporting my weight. Alice had been pregnant just before I severed the link between our worlds, thus cutting me off from this world for what I thought was forever.
"Are you my children?" I asked.
"We're taking you back to the castle, right now!" Nero said abruptly. "Whether you're the real deal or not, our mother is going to want to see you."
"You'll take me to Alice?" I asked. I was feeling overwhelmed. It was the strangest feeling, spending eighteen months with Alice after Alice, and yet knowing that I might see my Alice for the first time in seven years….
"Wait, Nero," Neris cautioned. "Remember what mom told us? There's a way to verify his identity."
"Oh! Yea, that's right!" Nero said. "This might be a little uncomfortable for you, but we have to know before we take you to her."
"Of course!" I urged. "Go right ahead. Whatever you ne-"
The two siblings tapped their staffs together and their eyes flashed. I blacked out for a second and came to, shaking my head. I didn't mention it much, but that, along with a lot of other things, had been happening very frequently over the last eighteen months. When you tell fantastic tales, monsters with eye magic tend to not believe you and start flashing you. I hoped that I wasn't suffering cumulative brain damage.
"Holy shit," Nero breathed. "Dad…. How did you manage….?"
Neris approached me and touched my face. "You're our age," she said. "Mom told us that you'd still be young, but… wow. It's so different to actually see you in the flesh. I always wondered what I'd say to you if I ever met you."
"I'm so sorry, Neris," I said. "I wanted to be a part of your lives so much."
"No one blames you, Dad," Nero said. "you're a legend. Right up there with Heinrich. You saved the world. Twice."
"We have to take you back, right now!" Neris said happily. "Mom never gave up on you! She'll be so happy!"
"Which leads us to the bad news," Nero said.
"Not now!" Neris admonished. "It'll wait! This is already overwhelming for him. It's going to be overwhelming for Mom, too. The bad news can wait a day."
I'd been told that this world needed me, and even an idiot could see that it had something to do with what had just occurred in this forest. I couldn't argue with Neris, however. Unless the world was going to end in the next day or two, I didn't care about anything else but being reunited with my family. I was confident that no matter what any of… this, was, that we'd handle it. My kids looked like they'd grown up to be impressive in their own right.
Nero and Neris took positions on either side of me. When they were satisfied that they were in position, they tapped their staffs together once again and I was instantly transported to the front of the castle.
"Home sweet home," Nero said. "It should still be as you remember it."
As we walked through the long hallways of the castle, we passed various monsters, each of whom greeted Nero and Neris. None recognized me until the butler greeted them. "Master Luka?" she asked. "Is that really you?"
"It is," I confirmed. "it's so good to see you again."
"The Monster Lord will be eager to see you as well," the butler said calmly. "There are many others here that will be overjoyed that you have returned."
I was looking forward to those reunions as well. Family first, though. I had never been more nervous in my life.When we reached the throne room, Neris motioned for me to stay just outside, out of the throne's sight, until called.
"This isn't the kind of thing you just do without preparing her," Neris cautioned. "This won't take long."
The two siblings entered the throne room while I remained just outside as instructed.
"Children!" I heard Alice greet them. "Were you successful?"
Her voice! I'd heard it so many times and yet it seemed different, knowing that it was really her!
"We were, mother," Neris reported. "the rift has been closed."
"I'm almost afraid to ask what came out of it this time," Alice said.
"Looks to have been a giant robot," Nero answered.
"Another one," Alice said in disgust. "At least it wasn't the lizards. Did it give you much trouble?"
"Mom," Nero started. "There's something else you need to know. We didn't destroy it. Someone else did."
"Someone else?" Alice asked. "Who? Did one of the Heavenly Knights go with you?"
"No, mom," Neris said. "I don't know how to gently lead up to this, so I'm glad you're already sitting down."
I could still see Nero, and he gestured for me to come forward. As I stepped into the throne room, my eyes were fixated on Alice. Hers were just as fixated on me. She hadn't aged a day, which wasn't surprising. A lamia didn't reach middle age until about one hundred, and she would be nowhere close to that age yet. She did look a little different, having put on some pounds since I had last seen her. She hadn't ballooned, but clearly her huge appetite had made her pleasantly plump. I hoped that this was because life had been relaxing while I'd been gone.
For a moment she simply stared in disbelief. She slowly rose from her throne and descended to get a closer look. When she reached me, she embraced me.
"Luka, Luka, Luka," she sobbed. "My Luka! My dear Luka! I'm so scared this is a dream and that I'm going to wake up alone in our bed! I don't think I could bear it!"
"I'm scared too, Alice," I replied, my eyes also clouded with tears. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long. It doesn't feel real."
She pulled away from me and touched my face affectionately.
"You idiot!" she laughed through her tears. "You're supposed to reassure me that this is real. At least now I know it's really you!"
She hugged me again. We just stood there for what seemed like forever. We didn't want to let each other go. Neris broke the silence.
"Mom, I know you're going to want to be alone with him for awhile. I can handle your normal duties until then. If there's an emergency I'll contact you."
"Yes," Alice said. "I think that's a good idea. I don't think I can deal with anything else right now. Luka, let's go to our room. We have so much catching up to do."
Alice took me by the hand and led me down the hallway. In the great hall I spotted Erubetie. When she saw me, she propelled herself to me almost as fast as one of her wave attacks.
"Alice, is that really-?" the queen slime asked. She must have been unable to believe her eyes.
"It is," Alice said happily. "You were right! He found a way!"
"Luka," Erubetie greeted me. "I cannot put into words how glad I am to see that you have returned. You are needed now. Ah, but such worries can wait for another day."
"They'd better!" Alice replied vehemently, and began dragging me to our room.
As we passed a familiar door on the way to our bedchamber, Alice stopped in front of it. This was Granberia's room. My best friend, Granberia. Seeing her again would be second only to my reunion with Alice. After some hesitation, Alice knocked on the door.
"She'd be really mad at me if I didn't let her know about this as soon as I found out," Alice explained.
Granberia answered the door. Her face lit up in surprise and joy. "Luka!" she exclaimed happily, rushing to embrace me.
"I can't wait to hear how you managed this, Luka!" Granberia said when she let me go. "But I know that must wait. There will be time enough for us to catch up later!"
"And spar, as well," I said.
"As I said, much catching up to do," Granberia repeated. "Much has changed. I am no longer who I was. You will be pleased to know that your wife has not changed at all, however, other than growing older and wiser."
"Well, something else has changed, and thank you for not mentioning it, Granberia," Alice said, noting her less than svelte figure.
Alice, satisfied that Granberia had been adequately taken care of for the time being, wasted no more time getting me into our bedroom. She wrapped me in her tail and placed me on the bed, following in after me. She lay there against me on her side, just looking at me for awhile.
"I love you, Alice," I said. "It's so hard to believe I made it back to you. I was afraid I never would."
"So how did you do it?" she asked. "Did you come through that rift with the robot?"
"No, it's a very long story, but the short version is that I had to hop through alternate universe after alternate universe to get back to you. It took eighteen months in my time. How long has it been since I've been gone?"
"Almost thirty years," she replied. "You'll be happy to know that monsters and humans still coexist. Better than ever, in fact! Everyone's worked so hard! Your sacrifice rallied the humans even more around your dream. The monsters were a little more difficult after the Dark God was taken away from them, but most of her loyal followers didn't live among humans to begin with. The dragons still won't be welcoming human tourists anytime soon."
"I'm so glad to hear that," I said. "I'd heard that this world needed me again, but I'm glad the problem isn't that we're back to square one."
"There'll be time enough to talk about the current problems later," Alice said. "First, I want to hear all about what you've been doing the last thirty years. Or however many it's been for you."
I told her as much as I felt comfortable telling her. Alipheese's role in helping me get off of my own world and into the multiverse. All of the alternative worlds and how little changes had made such big differences. And Justin, who had sent me directly where I'd wanted to go, when I could have been wandering aimlessly for the rest of my life.
When my tale was done, we made love. It was the most passionate sex I'd ever had. Her need for intimacy had gone unsated for decades. Her hunger had not. I didn't need to hear the details, but I understood. We spent most of the next day in bed as well, talking, cuddling, occasionally making love again. We were interrupted by a knock on the door during one of our conversations. It was Tamamo, who jumped into the bed like a cannonball to squeeze me until my eyes bulged. She had been in Yamatai when I'd arrived and came right over when Granberia had telepathically informed her that I was back. She talked with us for a few minutes and then left us alone again.
There was only one Heavenly Knight that I had not seen yet, the queen succubus Alma Elma. I asked Alice if she was in the castle. Alice looked sad.
"I'm sorry, Luka," Alice said. "Alma Elma died thirty years ago. She was killed in the battle for the castle."
I'd remembered seeing Alma Elma being hit by dragonfire and going down just as I had rushed into the castle with Granberia. It hadn't even crossed my mind that she'd be dead. She'd been "shot down" in the final battle against Ilias as well and been fine not long after. I'd come to think of the Heavenly Knights as nearly invincible. I wondered how many more pieces of terrible news I'd get.
She tried to bring the conversation back to happier things by telling me as much as she could about our children. They were both human, with latent monster potential, much like Sara who was the current Queen of Sabasa. Neither would ever be the Monster Lord. One day, Alice would have to mate with a human from this world. They had inherited power like mine, but they could only use it together. Their staffs were enchanted to make their use of power easy and efficient. Their power was also more limited than mine. They were very powerful wizards already, as well as expert fighters with their staves. They received lessons from Gabriella and Salamander, who returned to the castle when they were old enough to begin teaching them. Tamamo and Granberia had also contributed to their education.
As human children of mine, they had proved to be outstanding diplomats, traveling the world to promote good relations between monsters, humans, and angels alike. My name was still gold in this world. This work had begun when they were only eight years old. Alice was so excited that I'd finally get to be a part of their lives. They were now 28 years old.
We were given two blissful days to get reacquainted. On the morning of my third day back, Tamamo summoned us to my old server room to get the straight dope on what was going on. I was pleasantly surprised to find Promestein still sitting at my desk, using my computer. The server room was exactly as I had left it. I was surprised to see everything still in working order. That must have been a combination of Promestein's expertise in both science and magic. With this world cut off from mine, there had been no way to acquire new equipment. The fact that Promestein had succeeded in keeping things running wasn't the surprising part. It was the fact that she was still working here, in good standing.
"I heard you were back," Promestein said. "I'm really eager to hear about how you pulled this one off. The data I plan to glean from you…."
"If you were a monster," Tamamo joked. "what you just said would have a very specific meaning."
"Hey, if that's what it takes," Promestein deadpanned. "It may have been awhile, but I still know how to make a man sing any tune I want him to sing."
"I'll give you what you want for free," I said. "You never know when information can be useful."
"Good observation," Promestein replied. "We'll be discussing something like that. But first, let me just say how glad I am that you're back. I'd run out of ideas to solve our current crisis. With you here, that opens up new possibilities."
"So what is the problem?" I asked.
"I'm afraid it's my fault," Promestein said.
"No, it's not her fault, it's mine," Alice interjected. "I ordered her to figure out how to get you back by any means possible. Even if there was a risk."
"Nothing good comes without risk," Promestein agreed. "But I'm the scientist, I should have done a better job evaluating the potential risks and rewards. My miscalculation led to all those rifts."
"Like that one I saw when I arrived?" I asked.
"That was one of them, yes," Promestein confirmed. "I was trying to find alternative means to bring you here. I'd deduced from the fireworks that our world was connected to yours, and presumably others, by those same force lines that gods like to store spells in. From there, I discovered that all of the universes are connected to each other, like a latticework. So what I tried to do, is follow that incredibly huge construct and make a new connection between your world and ours."
"Since the direct connection was cut, you tried to get to my world indirectly, by hopping from world to world, and tracing the closest path."
"Exactly," Promestein replied. "I didn't, of course, jumping from world to world like that is crazy, no one would ever try that. I sent probes instead. The problem is that my work somehow generated instabilities that resulted in rifts in space time."
"We close the rifts whenever we detect them," Nero said. "after dealing with whatever steps through them. Once we figured out how to detect them quickly, we managed to stop the things that came out of them from hurting people."
"But the number of them keeps increasing," Neris added.
"Which is bad," Promestein explained. "Because if this keeps up, it will destroy our own universe. That's why I'm glad you're here."
"The rifts are like a cancer," Tamamo said. "We need to excise the cancer. You possess the raw power, Luka, but it requires a god-level omniscience to cut the cancer out without ruining our world. The problem is, we don't have any more gods. Eden is only a Seraph, and the Dark God is gone, many, many universes away."
"We've been trying a lot of approaches," Promestein said. "the most promising from my end was using artificial intelligence to simulate that omniscience. I've been making progress, but I don't think I'll be able to succeed in time."
"We've also tried to see if we could find other gods in other universes," Alice added. "No luck there."
"Gods tend to be provincial," Tamamo said. "They are the be all and end all in their worlds. They don't even like to acknowledge other worlds if they can help it. Many won't even take an active hand in their own worlds."
"So what can I do?" I asked. "I obviously don't have omniscience."
"No, you don't," Alice said. "That's why we need Ilias."
"Ilias?! Won't that just replace one problem with another? And how do you revive a goddess?"
"The latter question is easy to answer, it's the how that's tricky," Promestein explained. "Ilias' energy wasn't destroyed, it was just dispersed and returned to the great cycle of life. As you've heard before, when humans die, their light returns to the heavens, and when monsters die, their dark energy returns to subspace. All of that light is still there. Someday it will reform and Ilias will return. Somewhere between five and ten thousand years. We need to speed that process up. She's the only one who can save the world."
"As for the former," Alice sighed. "Gods don't want to die anymore than humans do. She'll help us save the world. After that…."
"Each crisis just leads to the next," I grumbled. "in a damn circle! We defeat Ilias, which leads to the unsealing of the Dark God, we defeat the Dark God, which leads to these rifts, we bring back Ilias to close the rifts. And then we beat Ilias again?"
"It could come to that," Promestein said. "But it might not. Just as when other beings have a rebirth, change comes with that rebirth. Ilias won't be exactly as she was. It's a slim hope, but it is a hope."
"It gets worse," Alice said. "If we do revive Ilias, you need to lend her your power."
"Doesn't that make her mortal?" I asked.
"Get your mind out of the gutter!" Promestein said, punching me lightly in the arm. "High ranking angels and gods can steal your essence through sexual intercourse, yes, but as you know, as long as they have your power within them, they become mortal. That would do Ilias no good, as she needs her godly omniscience to heal the world. No, we'll be doing it the way we did it last time, with a version of my White Rabbit formula. Done correctly, she could hold both her own holy energy and your alien energy inside her."
"Well, whatever it takes," I said. "One problem at a time. We heal the world, and then we worry about Ilias having her own holy power and mine. So how do we revive Ilias?"
"You're probably going to think I'm joking with you, but I'm not," Promestein said. "There are five rings of great power-"
"Wait, five rings? I just came from an alternative universe where those five rings were. I wonder if it's the same five rings?"
"Who knows?" Promestein shrugged. "But our five rings are really ancient. They can control the light and dark energies of the universe. With them, you could take all of that holy energy and use it to restore Ilias. That part isn't complicated. You just gather it all together instead of letting it float randomly around."
"And only you can wield those five rings, Luka," Tamamo added. "at least to do this particular job."
"Anyone can use the five rings if all they want is power," Alice explained. "I'm assuming you ran into those five rings in a world where some despot got hold of them and used them to dominate the world. To recreate a god, you need to be able to pass all of that energy through your body. Which can't be done except by someone who has the power of a god."
"And the only person who wields that kind of power…." Promestein concluded.
"Okay, so where do we find these rings?" I asked.
"That's where it's going to get difficult," Tamamo answered. "We're talking really ancient magic here. I scoured through my own collection and the vault here in the castle. We don't have them. They are spread out around the world in all likelihood."
"Fortunately," Alice said. "they aren't dangerous by themselves."
"Ah, so like the orbs," I observed. "You need to have them all together for them to do anything."
"No, not like the orbs," Alice replied. "they have passive magic. One of them makes the wearer immortal. Another gives the wearer immunity to all magics. Each one has a passive spell that aids whoever wears the ring."
"But for our purposes," Promestein said. "The only power that matters is the power to control that holy energy on a worldwide scale."
"Okay, so another quest," I said. "Fine. We have to search the entire world for five rings somehow. Where would we even start?"
"Dragons," Granberia said.
"Dragons? Why dragons?"
"Dragons have vast treasure collections," Granberia replied. "It is likely that at least one of the rings is with a dragon. Perhaps more than one."
"We can also try to find out if there are any rumors of rich people who collect jewelry not aging, or surviving an attack from a powerful monster wielding magic," Alice added. "A rich couple had one of the orbs, after all."
"And just hope there aren't any at the bottom of the ocean, or buried under the desert sands," Tamamo said.
"I've been working on that," Promestein interjected. "I just need one ring. Even though they do different things, they have a unified, ultimate purpose, so if you can get me one I can probably devise a way to detect the presence of the others. They must have something in common, an alloy, a magic signature, something."
"So where would be the best place to start looking for that first ring?" Alice asked. "I guess we could get kitsunes working through the library to see if there's any references to the rings."
"We could do that," Tamamo mused. "but I wonder…. The sphinx might know something. She's pretty ancient, and sphinxes, like dragons, enjoy possessing and guarding treasure. That's why I entrusted her with one of the orbs. It can't hurt to ask. Luka's got a good relationship with her. Why don't you try that first, Luka? It would also give you a good opportunity to say hello to Queen Sara. You'd be so proud of how much she's grown up!"
That did sound good, and I considered the Sphinx a friend as well. Why not?
Even though I could teleport myself, in theory, I'd only ever done it once. Alice, not surprisingly, was none too eager to part with me, so she brought me to Sabasa personally, where we awaited an audience with the Queen. We weren't ushered into the throne room. Instead, we were brought to her sleeping quarters.
"You're already familiar with this place, so I didn't see the harm," Sara teased as Alice and I entered.
Sara would now be in her late forties or so. The years had been kind to her. Probably thanks to her acquired love of sword training, she was in excellent physical condition. She'd grown her hair out, in contrast to the shorter hair style of her youth. She rose from her chair to embrace me. I was getting a lot of big hugs since returning.
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "So you're the queen now!"
In order to prevent me from asking stupid, uncomfortable questions, Alice had briefed me on some key facts: her father was still alive and had retired to live out his golden years on the outskirts of the city. Sara had married a man who she could stand, and he was a figurehead king. Alice decided that I could find out the rest for myself, without putting my foot in my mouth. She hoped so, anyway.
"Being the monarch isn't what it used to be," Sara said. "I came out to my father shortly after returning from my journey with Granberia, around the time you… were lost to us. He decided to transition Sabasa to a parliamentary system with a constitutional monarch. That process took about fifteen years, upon which he decided to retire. I had an easy out to go live the life I wanted to live, but you and Granberia, your examples, reminded me of the importance of duty. The people still loved their royal family and I was the only living heir. So I married a wonderful man, had two lovely children with him, and I handle the more limited duties of a queen."
"I'm sorry it didn't work out with Granberia," I said.
"What makes you think it didn't work out?" Sara asked. Alice snickered.
"Wait, you and Granberia-?"
"I don't know that we're together, together," Sara laughed. "it's complicated. Monarchs rarely marry for love. When I offered to marry you, you'll remember that I said you could have other women, maybe even share them with me. My husband, Edgar…. Well, we both have a relationship with Granberia."
"Oh!" I said. Granberia had told me about Edgar, but I'd never met him.
"So I expected that I'd see you when you came back, but not so soon," Sara said. "To come to me so quickly either means you wanted to check and see if I was still available, or you need me for something."
"I didn't necessarily need anything from you," I explained. "But I did need to come to Sabasa. I'm actually here to see the Sphinx. She may know of an ancient treasure that can save the world."
"Back only a few days and already trying to save the world, again?" Sara laughed. "I understand. I've seen the rifts as well. It's all our armies can do to react to them and drive back whatever comes out of them. The Monster Lord has been doing her utmost to help with this problem, and I think I speak for all of the human kingdoms when I say 'thank you'. We can't close those rifts, and as long as they stay open, bad things tend to emerge from them."
Alice looked a little uncomfortable with her thanks, for obvious reasons. She blamed herself for the rifts. Having Sara talk about putting duty before love probably didn't help.
"If you're going to visit the sphinx," Sara continued. "Then I'm coming with you. I'm due to pay her a visit, anyway. It'll be like old times! You and me, questing in the pyramid! It's a lot different now. Completely renovated and nothing's trying to kill you. Still, it'll bring back some nice memories."
Nice memories? I would have thought that whole thing to be horrifying for her. The only reason it wasn't for me was because it had turned out that I was more traumatized by Alice not helping me than what was actually happening to me. In the pyramid, I'd had a friend who aided me in every battle. I guess that had made it a fond memory for me as well. Yes, going into the now harmless pyramid with Sara sounded like a great idea!
We took a carriage ride out to the pyramid, a pleasant excursion that enabled Alice and I to cuddle up while we traveled and enjoy some light conversation with Sara. Alice had once found Sara to be quite irritating, but now that Sara was older and a queen, they seemed to share a much better rapport.
When we arrived at the pyramid, I noticed how much nicer it looked. The Sabasans had really outdone themselves with the renovations. There were even signs outside promoting ticketing specials and concessions. Alice got a little excited at the prospect of new foods.
Since Sara was the queen, getting in without paying was simple. This wasn't an excursion for us. This was serious business. Nevertheless, I decided to have a look around. The place wasn't crowded, but there were people about, most of them in the new casino. The pyramid, even in ancient times, had been a wonder of engineering. As imposing as it appeared from the outside, it appeared even bigger on the inside. There was room for a casino, several hotel rooms on the upper levels, a restaurant, and of course the chambers that the monsters had always lived in. When I had quested with Sara there had been a mummy girl as our first opposition. Now there were several employed in various jobs, from greeters to running the card tables, to servers in the restaurants.
Further in, we caught up to a man who was in the process of enjoying a talk with the Nefertiti lamias.
"Halt!" the oldest of the lamias said to the man. "None may see the sphinx unless they are worthy! All who are unworthy must pay the penalty!"
"I'm unworthy!" the man cried. "So unworthy!"
The three younger lamias pounced on him, ripped his clothes off, and began licking him all over. "Damn pervert," muttered Alice.
"Queen Sara!" the oldest one called, when she noticed us. "Are you here to see the Sphinx?"
"Yes, the Monster Lord and her husband have business with the Sphinx. Is she with tourists at the moment?"
"At the moment, no," the lamia replied. "We'll be sure to keep this man occupied until your business inside is done."
"Oh! Ahhh! I'm so unworthy! Oh yes, please lick there!"
As we entered the chamber of the Sphinx, the oldest lamia went to go assist her sisters. The man's cries of ecstasy only increased in volume, abruptly cut off when the door to the chamber we entered closed behind us.
Like most monsters I'd encountered since my recent return, the Sphinx had not aged a bit, although she had changed somewhat. Her clothes were of finer, more modern quality, and she chose to keep her breasts covered. She had developed a bit of a tan, probably from going out more. She had tended to stay cooped up in the pyramid before the renovations. After the renovations she must have chosen to spend more time outdoors getting sun.
"Ah, Luka!" the Sphinx greeted me. "It is good to see you again. I missed our talks."
Although I hadn't written about it, I had come back to the pyramid many times in my first and only year of marriage to the Monster Lord to keep her company. She had been lonely a very long time. Sara made even more frequent visits. The tourists provided even more social stimulation for the once reclusive Sphinx. She seemed to enjoy the new life. There was a vitality in her manner that had not been present the first time I met her. It probably helped that she was getting a lot more semen from tourists who were unworthy and had failed to answer her riddles correctly. Almost always on purpose.
"I did as well," I replied. "I hope that we can have many more. I'm afraid we're here on business."
"I know you are," Sphinx replied. "although I am not clear on what business you are here for."
"Would you happen to know anything about the five rings?" I asked.
"Five rings?" she mused. "Which Five rings? The Five Rings of Cyttorak? The Five Rings of Doom? The Five Rings of Knowledge? Or perhaps the Five Rings of Legend?"
"What are you, the Wikipedia of jewelry?" Alice asked in astonishment.
"I do not know what that is," Sphinx replied. "It doesn't sound like actual jewelry, so I do not care."
"I only know that they are called the five rings," I told her. "They are supposed to be able to control all the dark or holy energy in the world."
"Ah, so you desire the Brocian rings," she said. "But their name is the only knowledge that you may have for free. In order for me to tell you more, you must answer three riddles."
"Okay," I replied. "You're not going to eat us if we don't answer them correctly, are you?"
"No, I do not do that anymore. I simply won't give you the information. Those rings are dangerous. More importantly, I am the Sphinx. If you desire anything from me, you must answer my riddles."
"The Sphinx is a legendary monster," Alice said. "She can't go against her nature even to save her own life. It would be useless to try to talk her out of this. Just be thankful eating people isn't essential to her nature. Only the riddles are. Don't worry, Luka, I'm here. I can help with the riddles."
"If you three are ready to begin," the Sphinx said. "Here is your first riddle: why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!" I blurted out. "Are you being serious here?"
"I must ask you riddles," Sphinx replied. "I am dead serious. I only made it easy because I want to help you. But procedures must be followed. The next one will be slightly harder: Every day you walk on us, we can't work without each other, and never can I help you. What am I?"
I was definitely not going to be any help with that one. Alice and Sara's faces were pinched in concentration. After a few moments, Alice decided that she had it. "A shadow," Alice answered.
"That is correct," Sphinx announced. "Now, for the third riddle, and this one will be harder yet: What is the difference between pussy and parsley?"
"That riddle doesn't even make sense!" Alice objected. "There's tons of differences between a vagina and parsley! One is an herb, the other is a female body part most common in mammals! Do I just need to name one difference or all of them?"
"You must name the most important difference," the Sphinx said. "I can bend the rules somewhat to allow wrong answers, up to a point."
We all thought long and hard, Alice occasionally throwing a new difference that she thought of from time to time, all of which Sphinx shot down. Finally, Sara spoke up.
"The difference between pussy and parsley," Sara said. "is that nobody eats parsley!"
"That is correct," the Sphinx announced. She pulled something out of her bra and handed it to me. "Here Luka, is one of the Rings of Brocia. It is the Aquamarine Ring. It makes the wearer immune to the effects of fire, even dragon fire. I can also tell you that another ring is in a dragon's hoard, a dragon by the name of Tiffany. Having a ring that protects you from fire will be most useful, don't you think?"
"Wow, thank you," I said, placing the first ring on my finger. "I can't believe you actually had it on you! Thank you for making it easy for us. "
"You are a trusted friend," Sphinx replied. "I was right to trust you with the orb, and I trust that you will use this ring to save the world. I saw in your fate that you would come to me seeking this. I prepared my riddles just for you."
"The Monster Lord appreciates your contributions to this effort," Alice said. "Do you have any recommendations for the concession stands?"
"Try the turkey legs," Sphinx replied. "and speaking of eating, your husband has a fantasy that you might be interested in. He's always wanted to-"
"Okay, time to go!" Sara interjected. "Thank you, Sphinx! I'll be back next month to visit!"
"Wait, I want to hear this!" Alice said.
"No, it's really okay, Alice," I said hurriedly. "c'mon, remember the turkey legs?"
"Ooohhhh….." Alice cooed as I pulled her away.
Waiting outside was the man who had been deemed unworthy by the lamias. As we walked down the hall, I heard the Sphinx address him. "You will answer my riddles or face the consequences! Are you prepared?"
"Lay it on me, Sphinx!"
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