Dear self,

It started out really nicely. I have found many things around the floors. I found some buttons and coins. The walls are covered in dust though, but I like it just that way. Tiny spiders are living there I must not touch them I shall let them grow.

Outside it was nice and kind of humid but I like this better than it being burned by the sun. It's really nice until...I realize that it's just me imagining stuff again....

I am so done with what I am doing.

But I guess thinking like that will help me just a bit. Instead of a nice cozy home I found my self in this room. My little brother with me. The same worn out floral wall paper. I wish I could redecorate my room. Maybe something really nice, something like a painting in the wall with my friends?

If I could call them like that.

I do the same thing again I comb my hair, drink coffee, and then do it all over again. As usual nobody talks to me. Also my assignments says hello. They have been looking at me for a while now. Time seemed to go fast.

I won the competition self!

Aren't ya proud?! I was so happy it was such a long time since I became successful!

I will get better I guess I will maybe...finally be okay.

But I guess not...

Mother hates me right now self....I never did anything right?? I should do better...I should not cry I NEED TO BE STRONG RIGHT??!

HELP ME SELF HELP ME HEAL....

Why am I even crying...this is pathetic. Why am I even like this?? Why am I not enough??

When will my mother ever be satisfied? Do you think self that it would be okay if I just dissapear? would it be okay to just forever rest? I hope so I am very much done....with this whole thing.

Life is slowly killing me every single one of them hates me. I know when people lie...everytime I talk to them they would always lie.

I feel like sleeping self let's just say goodbye just for a bit.

Let's just sleep.

Goodnight please rest just for now.