Cloud approached me the next morning, hesitant. I smiled at him, trying to help him feel at ease. It didn't look like it helped, he flinched ever the slightest.
"(Y/n)," His voice was soft; as if he was approaching a wild animal and trying not to scare them. I wasn't scared of him. There were things I was scared of, like the dark and being alone, but I wasn't scared of him. He thought I was though, for some unexplainable reason. Squall said it was from something that happened to Cloud long ago. I respected that, but I did wonder how he came up with such a baseless thought.
The brain doesn't just make thoughts like that appear out of nowhere, even crazy thoughts have justified reasons through crazy eyes.
"The star festivals coming up, do you wanna learn the dance of constellations?" He finally asked me, I tilted my head.
"Star festival? Didn't Radiant Garden have a festival right before I got here?" I think back to a month ago, I remember Denzel telling me about how I just missed the spring festival.
Cloud scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, we did, but this is a different festival."
"Why have two festivals so close to each other?"
"They're not. The Spring festival was in March,"
"It's May though,"
Cloud sighed, "The actual Star festival's not till June twenty-first."
He put his hands on his hips and puts his weight on one leg, blowing hair out of his face. He does the last part when he feels awkward or embarrassed, or so I've seen. We haven't spent much quality time together.
It's like I'm talking to a stranger.
I looked down at my finished bowl of cereal, I didn't have training today and Cloud wanted to hang out with me, I didn't see why I should refuse. Especially since I wanted to hang out with him. I didn't want to be strangers anymore.
I don't know, maybe dancing would be fun? Personally, I found music much more enjoyable.
I looked back to Cloud, who looked to be growing more and more ansty as I took time to think, "Okay, teach me the dance."
He looked me in the eyes, "Really? You want to learn it?" Somehow the question didn't seem to be finished in the way I think he was asking. I think the true question was, "You really want to learn it with me?"
"Yes, I should get used to the customs right? And if it's a traditional dance then, that's a good place to start," I reasoned. I don't know why I didn't just say I'd be fine doing anything with him, that I just wanted to hang out with him.
Feelings, they're just too complicated.
I hopped off my chair, bringing my finished bowl of cereal to the sink, barely on my tiptoes I tried to put it in, but Cloud took it from my hands before I dropped it, placing it in the sink for me.
I looked up at him, "Thanks,"
Cloud didn't say anything back, he just grunted. But then paused, looking down at my face before saying "Your welcome."
The awkward tension was still in the air, even as we both were trying so hard to clear it.
I walked next to him, as he lead me into the back garden. I didn't try to hold his hand, as I sometimes did with Leon, simply because I didn't think that would help. I don't think we're quite there yet.
As it is even my smile seems to make Cloud recoil in a weird way, like before when he approached me, part of him looked… sad when he saw me smile.
Cloud, he's a very weird grown-up.
"Why is the star festival in summer? And so close to the Earth festival?" I asked him, as we made it to the garden. The squared, fenced-off garden with flowers that were only tended to by Aerith when she came over to teach me about them. The grass was taken care of at least, where there was grass. Toys and tools lay around the yard because no one picked up after themselves back here.
"Summer's the best time to see the stars in Radiant Garden," Cloud replied. There was a best time to see the stars? In Destiny Islands, the night sky looks the same all year round. "And it's not the earth festival, it's the Verdure festival," Cloud corrected me, but the word verdure came out in an almost snapping tone.
Verdure, the meaning of the word is lush, green vegetation. Makes sense for spring, I suppose.
"Sorry," Cloud apologized, I didn't know why, it was my mistake, all he did was correct me.
"No, it was my mistake," I stood in front of him as he picked a suitable spot in the garden for me to learn the dance.
"That's not what," a heavy sigh escaped from him, "Nevermind."
And we left it at that. But, I wonder what he was going to say, and why Cloud looks even tenser now.
Cloud walked forward, reaching out to grab my hand before pausing. I put my hand in his for him, this man was being too cautious around me, I could feel his nervousness, his hand was cold and gentle like he didn't want to break mine. He stopped and stood beside me.
He curled his fingers around my hand, holding it and my arm up, he let go of it but kept out palms pressed together, towards the sky.
He put his left foot out, and so did I. The hand that wasn't holding mine was out, so I put mine out too. We looked like a star or were supposed to, but I was too short so he just kept his hand up as far as I could go, making the position horribly lopsided. More like a star that was supposed to have seven points instead of five.
"This is the position of the Gemini Caeli, they're the leaders of Radiant Gardens constellations and the second reason we celebrate the star festival in June," Cloud explained, looking down to my face to see if I understood. As soon as he started talking about the Caeli his face lit up just the slightest, it lit up more as he continued to explain things to me.
He continued, "the Gemini Caeli represent the stars, all constellations, which is why we celebrate all of our constellations when they appear overhead the castle," he moved our position, breaking apart our hands, and turned himself towards me to face me head-on, I did the same.
He told me to spin three times before continuing, "The Gemini Caeli both have two different stories, depending on where you look in the sky,"
"So how do you tell the difference between the two?" I asked as I spun as he told me to.
"One side of the Gemini has more stars than the other,"
"Ah,"
"Now, there are two sides to the dance, the one you'll work on will be the female Gemini's, alright?"
"Alright," He broke position, coming over to me. I followed his lead, "We'll work on your side of the dance first and I'll show you the rest of the dances later." I nodded, and a half-smile graced Cloud's face.
"The Gemini Caeli were two twins, one female, and one male, raised by the Pater Sapiens they were brought up with light, with good in their hearts. The brother was naive and trusting, the sister was optimistic and faithful," He recited it as if he'd heard the story a million times. He probably had.
"Guarding them both was the Frevus Eques and the Sol Pondero, who held onto the twins with loyalty."
"One day, as the sister Gemini snuck out, she encountered the Umbra Bestia attacking the Velit Dominae, she, frightened by this, fought back against the beast, letting the Dominae run free. In the process, she injured herself, for which the Pondero scolded her," Cloud helped me through the motions of the sister's dance, when I asked he showed me the other constellations dance, leading me along with them too.
"But the Gemini could stop thinking about the Bestia, upon looking into its eyes, she discovered a sadness like hers, the longing to be free," A far off look in Clouds eyes suggested more than he's ever let on to me. I think this story means more to him than just simply being an old childhood fairytale.
"So, she turned to the Pater Sapiens with a question, he asked another in return, 'How would you resolve a conflict?'" The dance motions for this part were simple, so simple that Cloud didn't even have to guide me. Which was strange, something about this dance made me think I had done it before. Though since I was new to Radiant Garden it was obvious I hadn't.
"Confused by this, she walked away. Consulting the Pondero gave her no answer, so she went to find her brother, who was with the Dominae and Eques. She and the Dominae introduced themselves to the other, but none of them could offer her an answer. Though the Dominae did heal the Gemini sister's wounds. She thanked her but continued on searching for a clue to the Sapiens question." The Velit Dominae's dance was much more complicated, airy, and light, Cloud had to guide me through her feathery off-the-ground moves. Graceful and elegant her dance seemed to be made with the intention of never touching the ground.
"What she stumbled upon instead were the Oblitus Stella and her worried friends, the Stella was dying, and her friends, the Fortis Bellator and the Sola Flamma tried their hardest to stop it. The Gemini quickly became friends with the Stella too, but before long it seemed too late. There was nothing they could do," The only way I could describe the Stella's dance was as sad. Slow movements with ballet inspiration, I think.
I imagine that if the stars were out I'd be able to see the stars' positions and find out how this story was crafted based on that, but it was still very-late morning, early afternoon, so I could only imagine for now. It's a shame though, I would have liked to see how and why they killed a constellation.
"Until the Gemini remembered that the Dominae could heal people as she had done for the Gemini. She sent the Bellator and Flamma to go find the Gemini, and they rushed off to save their friend," he looked down at his feet for a moment, closing his eyes.
I thought maybe hearing this story his whole life would make him immune to caring about the star's emotions, their desperation. But maybe it was the other way around?
Maybe the story impacted him more because he had heard it his whole life. Or perhaps it was a familiar feeling to him? I don't know what has happened to Cloud, I don't know his story. But what I do know made me stop dancing and reach out and grab his hand. His looked at it for a fleeting moment before reverting his eyes.
Taking in a breath he continued, "The Bellator encountered the Eques, Gemini, and Dominae, demanding the Dominae come with him, saying there was no time to explain, he pleaded with her to come. The Eques took this as a threat, clashing with the Bellator," Cloud had me practice the fighting like motions of the dance, lots of twirls and even a flip.
It was the hardest part, and me and Cloud spent the most time on it. It was fun though, Cloud helped me flip, backwards and forewards, and even helped me learn to cartwheel. I wasn't very good, but it was a start.
I laughed with him when I feel, and smiled when I succeeded. But everytime I did he stopped for a second, sadness flashed in his eyes and he tensed for the slightest second, before returning to how he was before. Like I wouldn't notice.
Cloud continued on talking after waiting for me to do one last twirl before returning behind me, to guide my movements, "Meanwhile, the Flamma made their way towards the Dominae, and watching Gemini, the Flamma begged the Dominae to come with them, to save their friend, saying that the Gemini sister had sent them, and the Dominae had disappeared with the Flamma, Bellator vanishing from the fight too."
"Disappeared? I didn't know there was such a magic."
"A few creative liberties were taken here or there, it is a fictional tale." Cloud chuckled, finding my curiosity funny.
"The Eques and Gemini met together again, waiting for their friend to come home.
The Flamma, Dominae, and Bellator returned to their friends, only to discover they were too late. The Stella had died while they were gone, only leaving one last message with the Gemini that the sister refused to tell, saying she had promised," I frowned as he told me that.
"She refused to tell? His friends dying words and she refused to tell?" I asked, my voice going up an octave.
Cloud hummed, "Yes. Remember when I said the sister was faithful? She was faithful in the Oblitus Stella and her promise to the Stella, even when it drove her other friendships apart."
"That's sad." it just came out, and I didn't sound sad when I said it was, maybe it was because I wasn't sad, just, something about that faithfulness to a promise had me saying my thoughts. In any case, my voice was the same monotone it always was, and always had been.
"Yeah… It is," Cloud mumbled. He didn't look so tense anymore, but there was still this air around him, as if he was bothered by something. Was it me? But I thought he liked me, that he was just nervous to try. Was it something I said? I ran through every conversation we had during the last month, and the conversation Cloud and Squall had last night. But nothing would suggest that I did say anything wrong.
"This angered the Bellator, and he lashed out at the Gemini before leaving, sorrow still in his heart. The Flamma followed the Bellator, saddened and lost. As for the Gemini, she finally found her answer to the Pater Sapiens question, storing the ache deep within her heart." Cloud continued the dance. I tried to copy him where I could. But the moves were harder, more complicated. My little body just couldn't keep up with Cloud's fluid movements.
"The Dominae stayed with the grieving Gemini for a long while, before the Gemini steeled her resolve, a resolve to follow the Stella's wish. Carrying the Stella's remaining sparks she asked a favor of the Dominae, to meet her where they first encountered one another and the Umbra Bestia. The Dominae agreed." Cloud noticed my struggles and came over again to help me.
"The Eques and Gemini brother waited for their friend, but she never returned. The Eques cursed the skies, saying that the two had stolen her. The Gemini refused to believe that, going to the Sapiens, who asked him a question in return, 'Who has to be the bad guy?'" I stopped, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Has to be?" I asked. Did anyone have to be bad? I thought that was all perspective.
Cloud looked down to me, his smile still on his face. "We'll get to that."
I nodded and let him continue on.
"The Gemini did not understand the question. Returning to the Eques lost, with no answers.
The Eques told him that they must retrieve their friend themselves, preparing for battle. The Gemini followed, not knowing what else to do." Once I got the hang of the dance once more, Cloud stepped away, showing me the next part.
"The Bellator and Flamma joined the Litigator, who had promised them a way to get their lost friend back. The Bellator believed it with all his heart that it was true, the Flamma was more skeptical but followed not to lose their last friend." The Flamma followed their friend despite their better judgement? Why? I didn't understand their thinking.
"The Gemini sister gathered the Sol Pondero and asked him where the Liberum Ventum was, wanting to use its power to free the Umbra Bestia," A pang went through my heart, something like a longing at the name Ventum. Was it Ventus' sleeping heart sleeping in Sora? Was I feeling it because we're so close?
"The Sol Pondero promised to show the Gemini, in exchange that he could fight with her. As her guard, as her friend, he wanted to keep her safe. The sister promised."
"Lots of promises. Did she keep them all?" I inquired. Surprised, Cloud looked down to meet my eyes.
"Yeah, of course she did."
I don't know why, but promises have never stuck well with me. The fact that the gemini sister was making so many bothered me. It shouldn't. Cloud looked away from me again.
"Together they found the Liberum Ventum, asking it for the power to free the captured Bestia. It saw the longing of freedom in the Gemini's heart and gave her the power she needed. It was a matter of time before they were all together again, Dominae, Gemini, Ventum, Stella, and Pondero. They stood ready for the Bestia to come." Cloud performed the most complicated move all day as the sun slowly began to set behind him. It was beautiful.
"Then what happened? Did it come?" I asked again, this story was intriguing. I hadn't realized it, but I had been sucked into the story long ago. Heavily immersed.
Cloud chuckled, "Every time someone hears this story for the first time it's entertaining."
"Well, I'm certainly entertained," I jested, turning around to him after doing a guided spin.
"I see that," Cloud picked me up, balancing me on his waist. Bringing me over to sit on the yard chairs a few feet away.
"What about the rest of the dance?" I questioned as he put me down on a chair.
"It can wait, and we have lots of time to learn every part," Cloud smiled again, it seemed he was finally comfortable around me, which made me smile too.
"Then tell me the rest of the story." I leaned forward in my seat, looking at him expectantly.
"I will," He waved his hand in a motion as if to get me to calm down, teasing me, "Calm down."
"And it did, with orders from the Litigator it attacked, not without help, from within the shadows awaited the Bellator and out in the open was the Flamma. The Pondero engaged in combat with the Flamma, while the Gemini stood tall, calling on the power of the Ventum to free the Beastia, harnessing the Stella to clear the Litigator's control for good. The Bestia fell to the ground, being caught by the Gemini," A piercing pain went through my heart and I flinched, Cloud didn't seem to notice.
"The Bellator saw the display of the Stella's sparks, felt her power, and grew enraged. Going to attack the sister Gemini. The brother Gemini appeared, protecting his sister. The Eques helping the Pondero. They battled as the Gemini sister and Dominae tended to the defeated Bestia. Once it was healed enough, it spoke, spoke of the lies of the Litigator." I sympathized with it, the Beastia. To be controlled without any way to free yourself, having to rely on others, must be incredibly hard.
I can only imagine how many calls for help it cried. How many went unanswered. I shook it off, it was just a story.
"The Gemini listened, rising to her feet she yelled into the battlefield the Bestia's words and the promise she made to the Stella, that she would protect her friends. The battle stopped as the stars listened to her cries. All gathering together. And then, the Litigator appeared, out of allies and weapons. He could no longer control the Bestia, and thus could no longer achieve his goals,"
"The Brother asked him a simple question, 'Why?' His response was as simple as the question, 'To see my friends again,'"
"Friends?" I whispered to myself, bringing a hand to my chest. At my side Cloud gave me a quick glance. Ultimately deciding not to comment on it.
"The stars understood the Litigator' pain, but what do they do now? The Litigator was bad and needed to be punished. The Pater Sapiens appeared at that moment, asking the Gemini twins the answers to his question.
"And they answered, 'No one,' And, 'A way that makes sure no one suffers anymore than they had.'"
"Good answers."
Cloud chuckled, "I thought so to."
He cleared his throat. "The Sapiens helped the Litigator up, taking the Litoigators hand in his own, then taking the Gemini's hand, who in turn took their sibling Gemini in their hand, this continued, until finally, they formed the Tela Veritatis. Finally marking the end of that story."
"That story?"
"Over the generations, there have been a lot of different tales," Cloud sighed, "Can't remember them all, but if you want to know more I'll find them."
"I'd like that." I smiled, it was big, the biggest I think I've ever smiled, even bigger than those when I was around Sora. Cloud smiled too. There was a warmth in his eyes and he sighed happily.
Now's as good a time as any to ask him about why he's been acting so weird all day, even as he tried to grow closer to me.
"Cloud?" I asked, my tone questioning and hesitant.
He gave me his full, undivided attention, and I squirmed just a little in my seat, "...It's been bothering me all day, but everytime I smile you tense up like I'm hurting you. Did I do something wrong?"
I paused before adding, "Is this why you were avoiding me?" I already had my answer from last night, but that didn't seem to be the whole story.
He stayed silent for a moment, thinking. I sat there quietly, trying to avoid even moving.
And finally, he spoke.
"It never hits your eyes, that's why."
"Huh?" I inquired dumbly, did I hear him right? What doesn't reach my eyes?
Mako blue eyes met my (e/c) ones, his eyes burst with energy and life. I wonder what mine look like to him.
"That's the first smile thats made your eyes light up like that," He looked away from me, "The first expression at all, actually," he mumbled, I heard him clearly though.
The first expression to light up my eyes? I had nothing to say to that, except the question floating in my mind. If other people saw this, like Squall and Denzel, what did it look like to them?
How did they interpret this? Because it seems as if Cloud has a problem with it.
Mom had said something about my expressions once, and she was always trying to get me to smile when Sora wasn't around. I heard her talking about them with Riku's mom once, but I brushed their worries off since I was fine.
Was this something so obvious and I couldn't see it? I felt fine, I am fine. Is there something wrong with me? Without realizing it I had put my hand up near my left eye.
Cloud took my hand from its hovering over my face, holding it in his as he set it down on my lap. "I just, didn't want to make it worse. Cause I've seen those eyes, in you, in Denzel, in me, and I somehow always manage to make them worse." He wasn't looking me in the eyes, anywhere but, but it still felt genuine.
I paused, contemplating what he said. eyes that don't reflect expressions. Denzel had those eyes? Cloud too.
But they do now, so this had to be fixable, right? I didn't want to go around the rest of my life with eyes like that, which drove Cloud away from me, and could hurt and worry others around me, like my mother.
"...There is a way to fix it, right?"
Cloud looked back to me, his body made a motion as if midway through starting a shrug before he gave me a smile smile, "Yeah, of course there is."
I looked down to his hand which still held my tiny one, hesitant to ask, I did anyway, "Will you help me find it?"
"Of course," Cloud stood up, "But lets start tomorrow, it's getting late." He motioned with his free hand to the setting sun. It was pretty, a mixture of reds, oranges, and yellows.
I tugged on his hand, "Can we stay out a little longer? I wanna see the stars."
Cloud snorted, "Sure kid, whatever you want."
.o0o.
"Thunder!" I cast the spell and as soon as I felt the massive amount of energy release from me I flew back, keyblade pulling me backward.
I groaned, soothing my head as I landed on the floor. That… wasn't a great landing. I get up, stretching before grabbing my keyblade, the silver handle and golden blade shone with excess energy build up.
"That was better than before," Master stated. I groaned again, this had been my seventh time casting thunder, I was just too small to keep standing as all the energy released from my blade, my magic, according to master, was perfect.
I wish I would just grow a couple of inches, or maybe develop more muscle, though considering I've been working with the blade for months now, without any muscle in sight, I guess it's not in my genes.
I ready myself to cast it once more before master put his hand up, "I believe that's enough for today." I relaxed, my keyblade turning into sparks and glimmers.
"Alright," for the first time, I think I might be glad that practice is over, I don't want to keep getting blasted into the wall over and over again.
I grab my water bottle, popping open the cap, and sitting down on the grass, drinking whatever water is left in it.
"Master," I started after I was done, wiping my chin for droplets that came out.
"Yes?" The older man does not sit, instead, he stands as I rummage through my backpack, putting away my water bottle and pulling out my notebook, flipping to the pages me and Cloud worked on together.
"Remember when I told you that me and Cloud bonded? When we looked at the stars?" I asked him excitedly.
He chuckled, "Yes, I remember."
I hand the notebook to him, "I mentioned how the story behind the stars would make a good song, because back in Destiny Islands we use to make songs for everything, and Cloud agreed with me, so he and I have been making music together!"
"Really?" Master took the notebook from me, and I waited to see what he would say. He read over it before looking back to me, a fond smile on his face as he returned it, ruffling my hair. "It's very good, (Y/n)."
I smiled too, "Thanks, master."
"I'm glad you're getting along well with your new family."
"I'm glad too." I was sure that this time when I smiled, it hit my eyes.
.o0o.
BONUS/EXTRA/APOLOGY/STILLPARTOFTHECHAPTERANDCANNONBUTILIKEDTHEENDPOINTOFTHATLASTSCENETO:
"Oh, so the reason the Pater Spaiens isn't shown much is because the actual constellations so small?"
"Yeah, and the one next to it is the Oblitus Stella, the formation that looks like a giant star? It always looks like it's close to twinkling out, people always thought it was,"
"I see,"
"Sometimes, people will call the star La Lux."
"Why?"
"They want to believe it'll shine one day."
"Well, won't it?"
"Maybe."
I looked towards all the stars, the Tela Veritatis looked as if it was giving the other constellations a hug, or perhaps protection. It was a beautiful sight.
"It would make a great song," I whispered into the air.
"Hm?" Cloud hummed.
"It would make a great song, the constellation's story," Cloud had told me that there wasn't a song to go along with the story, that no vocal song existed for it.
"Well, if you want, we can make one."
"I think that would be nice. Let's do it."
"Alright."
Constellation Chart -
January - Velit Dominae
February - Umbra Bestia
March - Liberum Ventum
April - Pater Sapiens
May - Oblitus Stella
June - Gemini Caeli
July - Sola Flamma
August - Sol Pondero
September - Fervus Eques
October - Fortis Bellator
November - Bestia Litigator
December - Tela Veritatis