"Auuaaa,(I'm fucked,)" I sighed. It's funny, a mere infant sighing. I really can't get any rest; from being murdered in my previous life to being transmigrated into another horrible life.
When I get my hands on you, you damn fate, I thought, clenching my fists in anger, I will destroy you.
But before I do that, I must escape the terrible fate that is about to fall on me.
I must run.
'I can't run now!!' I thought in shock, 'This body can't even walk!!'
What to do? I thought as my body moved backward…wait… backward??
My back suddenly felt the floor. "Auuuaaaackk!!!" What the- did I just fall? I thought I was able to sit?!!
"Now what?!" a voice said. Ah, she was here. She suddenly carried me. She snorted in disgust before she moved away from me.
Hey! I thought, embarrassed, This is normal! It's your fault for not giving me diapers!
"You barely have an allowance," she snorted as if explaining the reason why she won't give me diapers. "Listen, kid, these are the only clothes you have, so deal with it." She proceeded to place me in the crib. "So, I don't know, wait for them to dry or something." She then took the soiled sheets and left.
Eh.
Eh???!
Wait?! You are going to leave me like this?? I could get a rash! Hey!!
Ugh, this is a nightmare. An extremely dirty room and soiled clothes. Before I escape, I will be killed by diseases.
How did Rosalia in the novel ever survive??
"Nyooo!" I screamed, placing my hands in the air. I must not be negative. I will survive, no matter what! I am not Rosalia, but I seem to have transmigrated into her; and now armed with the knowledge of this story, I will survive, I will run away and live my life.
I will not let myself be killed again, I thought, suddenly remembering how I had gotten here, how my life was taken away from me.
I won't allow it to happen a second time.
This time, I will live.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It has been a week since I arrived in this world…and it has not been pretty.
The maid taking care of me, now I remember her name from the novel as Leah, has to be one of the worst caretakers in the world; then again she might be doing this simply because I am a child who doesn't even have the duke's first name. In the novel, she was a lazy, horrible maid, constantly abusing Rosalia since infancy, and exploiting her little funds. She was eventually kicked out, and no, not for bullying Rosalia, for trying to steal funds from the dukedom's main vault. Of course she blamed her 'master' claiming she was sent by her, and she got the innocent girl punished along with her.
And I thought that was bad, she's even worse in real life.
She rarely comes to take care of me, only shows up once, and that is to leave a bottle of cold, COLD milk on my side. "You can take it by yourself when you are hungry," she says, "You should be old enough to even do that."
"Buu Buu(What is wrong with you?)" I would try to say. I curse this baby speech. She would then leave and not return till the next day. Sometimes she doesn't even come after two whole days, which means this milk she leaves is my breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days straight.
"Did I offend you in any way, great Heaven?" I thought,looking up at the dusty ceiling,imagining it was the sky, "Why must you make me suffer so?"
It would only get worse whenever I needed to relieve myself…on myself. I barely have enough diapers, and Leah always gets angry whenever I pee, or poo. She would often express her displeasure whenever that happens.
"Tch, stay still," She said angrily as she plunged me into cold water.
"Myaaaa!" I screamed. The water was cold, too cold for a child. I twisted and turned but that only made her hold me still into the water.
I thought she would have some sympathy and at least bring warm water but her face clearly didn't care. Instead, she would always complain about why she was taking care of me instead of the 'masters'. She would do the torture, flimsily dry me, dress me in rags and leave me, as usual till the next day. Any normal child would have cried and thrown a tantrum on not being cared for properly, or worse, died; but I'm not a child. Well, not physically.
I have endured enough abuse in my past life and I can sure as well put up with it again if it means that I can escape Rosalia's fate.
"Aaaauuu," I sighed as I held the railings, trying to sit up. Leah had not come to feed me for five days now. The milk she usually leaves is now very little, and I doubt it would be enough till the day she remembers she has a job of taking care of me. The feeling of hunger stabbed my stomach, and it took all of me not to give in to my child-like instincts and cry.
I should at least think about something else, I thought.
I recalled what exactly happened in the novel, as every word I read is a key means to my survival. The novel started when the female lead Bella was seventeen when she was traveling to the capital with the Marquis to go meet her father's family. At that time, Rosalia had already turned sixteen, which means Bella arrived at the grand duke's house three months after Rosalia turned sixteen.
Right now, 'Rosalia' is barely a year old, meaning I need to have left here by the time I'm sixteen.
I wasn't going to wait till then. I have to leave immediately.
The sound of my growling belly interrupted my thoughts. I held my belly in sadness. It seemed that I would not be able to eat nicely for a while.
I grabbed the bottle of milk and took a gulp. It was sour, indicating that it was almost going bad. Yet I still took another gulp. This has been my meal for these five days. I dare not be picky.
A few more small sips and I declared myself full. I wasn't, but tricking my mind by thinking that I'm full is the only way to save my rations.
My stomach growled in protest. It refused to be fooled. I was a growing child. I was able to sit up, meaning I had to be at least six months old. I needed more food in me to grow.
I decided it was no use to wait for Leah. She couldn't even feed me properly. If I want to be strong enough to at least protect myself, I should find my own food.
I mean... All I have to do is find a kitchen, maybe beg for food and I would be given.
"I mean I must be a cute child," I thought, blowing my own horn, "Who would refuse me?"
"I have been stuck in this bed for too long," I thought. Come to think of it, I woke up in this world about a month ago, and I have never left this crib unless it was after potty time.
I looked down. From an adult's point of view, the distance would seem very small; but from a child's view….it's like trying to jump off a cliff.
I shook in fear. Maybe I shouldn't, I thought.
"Nyo!" I said. I would not let fear get to me. It's just a small drop, I reassured myself.I could not let myself be stopped by fears. For my survival and to satisfy this hunger, I must leave this crib.
Today, I will explore this house.