For almost an infinitude, she finally got the serene feeling of going to sleep under warm blankets while her mind paced through how things would now work out. The world had become blatant to her actions and her existence. Alice was no more than a survivor, a beautiful girl who strives to stay alive in a world full of Chaos and the dark storm building inside her. Whenever she drifted to sleep, she couldn't help but heave from the rational screeching voice inside her head. She knew it all too well, those few milliseconds before the door to her nightmares was opened.
Those few minutes where she always fought to stay awake and not fall asleep to avoid coming in contact with that battle inside her mind. she needed the rest but she knew that whatever she will be finding on the other side of her dreamland was not something that would make her rest. she had grown up knowing that nightmares were normal and obvious but when she, however, talked to her peers at the age of 4-5, Alice understood that whatever was going on in her dreams was nothing normal. She had no one to turn to and the disappearance of the people who were supposed to take care of her was what made the situation worse.
She could have fought it with everything she had, but it no longer made sense to fight especially because she knew it was the only way she'll figure everything out. Those dreams had to be a gateway for her to understand where she came from and how she became what she was right now. even though almost all teenagers would have desired to be like Alice, the young girl hated existence. She hated how she had to hold on to her self-control and patients on a loose thread. She hated how she could end the life of just anyone with a snap of her fingers. She wanted to become normal, as normal as all the other girls who she was going to meet in her new school tomorrow. She wanted to have a skinny body, at least that's what she perceived as beautiful. she wanted to live a life just like all the other girls her age did. like any other normal teenager, Alice wanted to go to the mall and make friends. she wanted to go to parties and get a boyfriend. she wanted to go on cute dates and also get undeniable attention from the male gender. things however seem to be working out against her fever. nothing she had was what she always ask before. in a way she always felt that life has been unfair to her. that it could have done her better and given her just a taste of what you always craved. was it wrong? was it wrong to Desire a life away from all the chaos and suffering? was it wrong to want to be able to control her temper and not get kicked out of 16 different schools? she was the opposite of kind or humble or polite. she was no role model to anyone and the people that she had angered were going to be coming after her wherever she went.
when her eyes shut, she felt that racemic pattern where her body slowly disappeared from the bed and fell into a big black hole. that always had to be the eye-opener of all her dreams. Her heart raced drastically as her fingers curled and shook with the sudden change in atmosphere. Even with her abilities, and the resilience she had inside herself to fight, there was no safe space for her. The nightmare became part of herself and it was almost as though she would never be complete without that unknown fear. It had become a part of her, the only thing that she could not conceal from the world.
She fidgeted, her mentality putting up a strong guard to fight against the dark forces that would soon come to drag her down the grave. There was always that slavery when she tried to run but her feet could not quite move from that position. Almost as if her dreams were making a mockery out of her, she tried reaching for the walls or the drawers, at least something she could hold onto but there was indeed nothing.
She heard the chanting of her name, seeing herself at a far distance as darkness engulfed her vision. Her fighting and resistance soon died down as her hands became restricted with chains.
There was no escape, and soon, all hope would be lost.
Her eyes darted around the room, trying to fully understand exactly where she was. The voices got louder and louder as Alice struggled against THE strongholds. her feet felt numb against the cold floor. She's kind of the never-ending desolate room as Darkness seemed to engulf the atmosphere. The setting was completely vivid, with little flashes of a life she knew nothing of.
''Alice!'' she heard again, turning to the side in hope of spotting the owner of that voice. Everything felt creepy to her, but on any normal occasion, this dream was nothing but a pattern of horror her life was always presented by.
''Who is there? Who are you?'' she asked, oblivious of the fact that she was now prone to danger.
'' You need to open up yourself my dear. You need to open your inner eyes and allow me access. you need to be able to see the things that were taken away from you and access that fear inside of you that blocks any progress. You have to make friends with your fears and partners With your demons.'' Those words sounded like something Alice has heard before. like a reoccurring version of herself or something that someone from her past always said to her. She has never understood why she could not remember certain parts of her childhood. It is as though something had been missing from her mind, perhaps robbed from her, making her less of the person she truly was.
'' Why don't you just tell me who you are? tell me what all of this is about. show yourself. Are you that much of a coward to hide from a little girl like me?'' alice asked, her voice laced in sarcasm and mockery.
'' One day, things Will fall into place and you will realize that the people who have always surrounded you are the ones that absorb all the kindness and goodness in your heart. You are strong when you are one!''
There is nothing that has ever scored more confusing than hearing those seven words. what the hell did it even mean to tell her that she was the strongest when she was one. wasn't he one person? wasn't she already as strong as she was? the world had made her become a bitter person from a young age. Alice had taught herself to survive against the odds and the measures that were built to concede her powers. but how long?
For how long would she be able to hold on to that part of her humanity? That emotion encouraged her to become a tamed person. To fight against that beast inside herself that always took over whenever she turned off her emotions. Humanity was something that always hung on the thin thread when it came to her. Redemption was however something Alice would never have.
Would there be hope? Was there ever going to be away in which this beautiful high school girl will fight against her demons?