Dear Mr. Bribes His Way By Coffee
First of all, Hi! How are you? Second of all, Thank you. I am aware of the brilliance my mind has in creating multiple scenarios out of thin air which is why I chose to be a book writer. I've written quite a number of books actually~ So this letter will be a shameless plug of mine as I ask you to read them. (I'll list them down below) Also, how dare you think that I would tell you my contact number. Bro, you need to do a lot more effort than that, i.e become someone closer to me. Hell, most of my friends don't even have my phone number. So as of now, you can only contact me via these letters or online chat.
Sincerely,
The Person He Tried To Bribe With Coffee