Have you ever heard sound in silence before? I know it's confusing but that's how I felt. I could hear the stifling tension in the room, my ratcheting heartbeat that is louder than a music concert, the trickle of sweat at my temples, the slow, almost non-existent breathing of HIS. I could hear everything like a pounding in my head.
It was stifling, choking, consuming me- his silence.
He couldn't have chosen any punishment more violent than this. Nothing matches his silence which gave route to my vivid imagination. It is only fueling my turmoil.
Is he really going to humiliate me like this? What if I refuse? Will he call someone else to finish the task?
The thought of anyone touching me like THAT rose bile inside my throat. I don't think I could bare it.
"I won't be doing anything to you Mrs. Salvatore."
Relief engulfed my insides though I refuse to acknowledge a tinge of disappointment that was laced with it. There will be time to analyse it. Not now. Not here.
My outer shell of toughness, of cockiness is just that- a shell. Now that I was presented with the impossibility of fighting my battles, my body betrayed me.
Fear like cold serpents swirled around my body until I couldn't move my hands or legs. Is this what I'm? A coward? All bluff and no substance?
NO!!!!!
I'm more than this.
I'm better than this.
I'm not a coward. I'm not docile. I will show HIM what I'm made of.
Rounding my shoulders, I turned and gave my back to the ever-obedient audience, not caring one bit about my backless dress.
Raising my chin, I gritted out, "no games Mr. Salvatore. Why did you bring me here?"
He must have noticed that something changed within me, sensed my resolution perhaps. Because the next thing I know, his lips pulled to one side giving me a smirk that I want to tear off his skin.
I closed my fist with my thumb inside albeit I will puncture my palm once again.
"Well?"
"So impatient. Even while standing in this room, a mere steps away from the unknown with your heart running like a wild horse in your chest, you dare to show me your claws Mrs. Salvatore? Aren't you afraid of what I will ask of you?"
Very much. However, I'm not interested in giving him a stick to hit me with.
"I didn't give it much thought," my voice came out raspy, dry. My facetious remark bounced off him like a pebble in still water.
We both know I'm lying. We both also know he could punish me for this slip. However, in my current state, I couldn't think of any more punishments I could face at this moment.
THIS... is more than enough. Whatever it is.
My eyes once again took my focus to the plain mirror. So simple. So harmless. Yet everyone in this club know how farcical it is. Especially, to a woman who was raised in a conservative society, who never entered a club like this before.
Alas, no one cares. I could feel their hungry stares, their snarky jeers on my skin. It must be my mind playing tricks on me. All the same, I couldn't escape their laughs.
"What are you waiting for Mrs. Salvatore? They are waiting."
My bone chilled at his voice. A frisson of fear skittered through my spine.
"Wh-what?"
"Shall I reminisce your memories? You like mirrors, they like to watch. Now, give them the show they paid for."
His tone is neither cruel nor harsh. All the same, I felt it deep in my bones. He mean it. He really mean it. If what he is asking of me is true then he meant me to-
I couldn't even finish the thought how can I do it?
"Mr-Mr. Sal-Salvatore"
"Do you want some privacy Mrs. Salvatore? Is that why you haven't took your position?"
My shoulders caved in, my palms cupped my elbows as if I could hide myself from this.
A sigh reverberated behind me.
"Very well. Be it said that Vitali Salvatore is not unmerciful. I will give you your privacy Mrs. Salvatore. But you better start the show before people get curious and enter this room. I don't think I have to pronounce what will happen if they enter this room?"
My face blanched. My body involuntarily took a step back as if it can take sight of the crowd he is speaking of.
"I think you get my point. Now, take your pick Mrs. Salvatore. Do what you were meant to do or the customers will decide what you will do"
"Vi... Vitali..."
His name on my lips made him taut as if an elastic band has been snapped between us as he said through clenched teeth, "I don't like to repeat myself Mrs. Salvatore. You have 5 minutes."
With that he turned and left the room sealing me to my fate. The thud of the door echoed through the room including my body resonating with my soul. It's as if a door has been latched to my innocence.
Even after all this I couldn't bring myself to plead him, to beg for mercy. Something inside me said he will only punish me more if I took that route.
That's not us anyways. Not me. My pride wouldn't let me to beg him even when I'm left with the only option of stripping.
I looked down at my feet willing myself to do what's to be done. I could feel their restlessness. The buzz of excitement. The boredom.
My hands fisted so tight beside me, my knuckles turned white. A small tear slipped past my left eye. Not because I'm sad. No. It's because I'm angry. Angry at my situation. Angry at HIM. Angry at myself for being such a gullible fool. Most of all, angry at fate.
I let it slide down, touching my chin in its wake until the salt drop slid on my dress. That's it. That will be the last drop HE will get from me.
They needed a show, didn't they? They wanted a spectacle. Well, I'm going to provide them with one.
Raising my chin I brought my hands to my hair and ruffled them, running my fingers through the volume like a lover who is muzzling it's smoothness, turning it into bed-hair; sex hair.
Mr. Salvatore will rue the day he thought he had be beaten. He wanted to humiliate me? Well, I wonder what he will do now. My lips pulled back in a tight smile that doesn't reach my hard eyes.