If not for the hand that is guiding me inside the hall I'm sure I would have crashed into someone or something.
As it is, I don't even know how many people are present witnessing my fraudulent. Will this come and bit me in my ass later?
I feel like my heart would tear out of my chest any moment. It's a wonder no one didn't hear the loud thump-thump. The pulse at the base of my neck flickered matching the fast dance of my heart.
"Here is your bride, all in one piece. Congratulations on the wedding," came the voice of the woman who helped me from the right.
My left hand extended searching for her hand before grasping her folded hands before her body.
I gently squeezed it and whispered, "thank you."
"Ah, she is a gem."
She laughed whole-heartedly and stepped back no doubt taking a seat to watch me making a spectacle of myself.
I tried to peer through my veil to glimpse the man standing beside me but other than a tall silhouette I couldn't see anything. A very tall silhouette.
I'm at 5.8'' and yet I have to crane my neck slightly to see the top of his head. How tall is he?
A throat cleared in front of me. I blushed the shade of my dress and ducked my head.
Where are you Shirley? My thoughts ran a mile a minute.
I should have called her once I approached the City Hall. Now, it's too late.
Shoving the disappointment to the back of my mind I focused on the man who is meant to join me with the man beside me in holy matrimony.
The wedding is a blur. That's it. That's the best I could describe. That's all I could grasp without gasping for air.
I struggled not to succumb to my panic attack as I swayed on my feet. It is then I felt a hand holding mine.
It's rough, callous texture is contrast to my smooth one. The hand is so big, mine could get lost in it. Strangely enough, I felt secure just by holding it. The flutter my heart gave this time is entirely for a different reason.
I'm touching a hand. Which is attached to a body- my groom. I'm touching my groom and I don't even know his name. I never know holding hands could be this intimate. My cheeks reddened as if they caught on fire.
I suddenly felt shy as if we are doing something naughty amidst the center of the court.
"Do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in (holy) matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," came a rough voice to the right of me. That voice... it can melt me to the floor. It is so rich like a triple chocolate fudge, silky smooth and velvety as if each syllable run through my body, caressing my skin with its softness.
I locked my knees together before I could combust then and there. A slow chuckle from beside me made me realise that he is not avert to my body's response.
Heat and humiliation warred inside me. Someone just kill me now. This is totally inappropriate appropriate situation.
"Do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?" The judge's voice interrupted me harshly. And guessing from the tone of it, it's not the first time he has repeated it to gain my attention.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. It's as if someone drained me of my words. I couldn't work my tongue no matter how many times I open and close.
The judge repeated once again this time more slowly as if I'm an imbecile. It is then I felt the slow fluttering touch where my hand is connected with his.
His thumb is caressing the back of my hand gently as if he caresses a skittish colt that is ready to bolt at any minute.
It calmed my nervous enough to mumble a weak, "I...I do."
But that is enough.
The judge carried on with the ceremony until he asked to place the ring on my finger. With trembling fingers, I lifted my hand.
What if he forgot to bring a ring? Did Shirley inform him about it?
Oh no!! We can't fail now.
Thankfully, before I could go into another panic attack, I felt a cool metal sliding into place. I couldn't see it through the veil properly but it looks heavy, feels foreign.
Before the judge could continue I whispered a husky 'wait' and took out the ring from the box I clutched in my hand.
I tentatively extended my hand to grab his and place my ring when I felt his rough one over mine.
With clumsy hands I placed mine and pulled my hand back feeling like I'm committing a sin.
I drowned the rest of it until the judge said, "you may kiss the bride."
My eyes bulged at the obvious American ceremony. How could I have forgotten that!!!
We have to act as if we are truly in love or else the USCIS officer wouldn't believe.
Shit, I don't even know his name!!! I'm married to this guy and don't know his name. What if the judge asks me?
I was chewing my lip in worry when suddenly my veil is lifted and bright light flooded my eyesight.
I blinked twice to set my vision straight and the first thing I noticed is his eyes. They are ice blue, deep and penetrating. Like the calm of the sea before a storm.
The next thing I noticed is his scent. Like a perfume I never smelled before. It's different as if it's custom-made only for him.
Even though my vision is covered with his face, I don't want to be anywhere else. What a view!!! His jawline can cut stones. His dark hair suits him. It is cut short on the sides and left longer in the front.
He is not handsome. Nor boyish. He is rugged looking pure maleness enriched in 6 foot plus body. His face is like steel- hard and smooth at the same time.
My eyes tried to take him all at once. At last, they landed on his lips. My throat parched just from looking at them.
My tongue peeled out of my mouth as it slowly wet my lips. The sudden groan that came from it jerked me. It is more animalistic than humanly possible.
And then... and then, his head bend slightly and he kissed me.