When I entered the police station I was expecting something from Hollywood movies where everyone is hair-breadth away from a gun and giving patriotic speeches.
Instead I found a mini-coffee/donut shop littering on each table as I walked past, officers slumping in their chairs, their eyes dull and bored as if they have seen it all while their hands moved at snail's pace.
This doesn't leave me with any fuzzy feelings. Will they even try to search before closing the case?
My mind already in turmoil, I meekly followed the woman who asked me to follow her. Am I making the right thing by digging the past?
"Sit in that office. Superintendent will be shortly with you. He is planning a vacation and will be busy for a while. You are in luck or else you might have to wait until he gets back."
More delay? Its a good thing I took that leave today. Can my luck be changing finally?
"A superintendent? Isn't he higher up on the ladder? I'm just reporting missing person case"
"Oh, I know. But since he is planning on leave, he won't be taking any big cases for a while. Yours will be right up the criteria for what he is looking for"
"Oh, thank... thank you," I replied, not knowing how to reply to her statement. I wet my lips, my hands already cramming from the sweat. Does that mean he won't be doing any work? In hindsight, I could see that it was not encouraging to say to my face itself that my case is not considered 'big' enough. But then, I was nervous enough yo realise it, what with sitting in a police station for the first time. My aunt would be having palpitations in no time if she learns.
Not shortly after, a short but bulky man entered the office his saunter as that of arrogance.
He didn't meet my eyes or give any type of reassurance as he sorted god-knows-what on his desk for awhile.
I cleared my throat finally, when it seemed like he will be at it for a while.
"Just a second," he continued his search as if I didn't interrupt him. I waited patiently as if I'm on pins and needles.
"There. Now, it's all done. Yes, what seems to be the problem?"
Though he questioned me now his attention is not on me completely and I lack the power to snap at him to pay attention. I can't make an enemy of the only person who will help me in my cause.
"My... my father. I'm looking for my father."
"Your father? When was the last time you met him? Where was his last location? Did he seem doing anything suspicious or taking to someone who looked suspicious? Does your father has any enemies?"
He went on and on and with each question I wanted to shrink in my seat.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Wringing my fingers together, I sprung, "no, it's not like that."
A line formed between his eyebrows.
"Is he not kidnapped?"
"No. My father... he left my mother while she was pregnant."
If he had glasses perched on his nose, he would have taken it by now, sending a silent message that I'm wasting his precious time.
"Miss... as you can see I'm a very busy man. Could you please get to the point? Is your father missing or not?"
"As I said officer, my father left my mom. I never... I never met him before"
"So?"
His opinion couldn't be any more clearer. His posture is screaming- what do you want me to do about it?
"I'm looking for my father. I want to... I want to meet him"
"Look Ms-"
"Ms. Krishnamurthy," I supplied.
His eyebrows drew nearer as if I gave him a tough maths solution he don't know the answer to.
"Look Miss," he continued as if I didn't give him my last name.
I caught up with what he is saying as he continued, "the man left your mother." The words- "for a reason" left unsaid but not unheard.
"Why bother searching for him when he don't want anything to do with you?"
Anger surged through me at his blatant disregard of my emotions. What I do or don't is mine to decide. He has no right to stop me from looking.
And I said as such.
With thinning lips, he opened a register as if this is a tedious work and he is baring with me only because of his kind nature.
"What's your father's name?"
"Joseph Milazzo"
His hand stilled, the pen poised to ink the paper a hair-breadth away. He blinked as if to clear his mind.
"Did you say Joseph Milazzo?"
"Yes, do you know him? Have you heard about him?" I leaned over the desk, excitement running through my veins. Could I be so lucky that, he is only a phone call away? Anticipation swirled in my stomach.
"What? No. Of course not!!! Do you even have any idea how big New York is? How would I know him?"
"But-"
I fisted my hand, a line forming on my forehead as I thought on his reaction.
Sensing my line of thought, he replied, "it's just I didn't think you are from Sicilian heritage. You look more like-"
"I'm Indian," I cut off before he could speculate further.
"You don't look like one," his eyes raked over my face more thoroughly making me uncomfortable.
"Well, because, I'm half-Indian. Obviously, as Joseph Milazzo is my father"
"Have you met him before?" He leaned forward this time with interest clear in his eyes. Hasn't he been listening?
"No. As I said, he left my mother before she could tell him she is pregnant"
"So, he doesn't know you are his daughter?"
"Look, officer, where is this going?" I asked, fed up of his interrogation. I came to file a complaint instead facing a question bank.
"Sorry Miss. it's just fascinating. We don't see cases like this-"
"What's fascinating in this?" I asked as doubt crept up. Is something more going on than I know? Why is he suddenly being very interested in my case?
"Oh, you know, finding a man with only a name. It will be quite a challenge to pass my time. I'm looking forward to it"
Though, his words are what I want to hear, I got the feeling it's not what he meant. Whatever. At least, he is interested in helping.
"Me too officer. Please let me know if you find anything, anything about him."
After that, he took my details along with my address and phone number to be in touch with me and sent me on my merry way.
On the other side of the door where the young girl just left the office, the superintendent stroked his chin in thought.
Could this be one and the same? If so, he just got his vacation paid fully without spending a penny out of his wallet.
Grinning from end-to-end like a cat that got the cream, he dialed the number on his phone.
"I need to talk to Vitali," he said through the line, excitement bursting through the seams of his skin.