1942
I was one of those unfortunate young men to be drafted into the army when the news that a massive Japanese army had landed into the country's soil about a few months ago. And so, I made the resolve to bid my farewell to the golden future I was always daydreaming about and took the path of early death. God, I even heard that inexperienced soldiers were placed at the front lines and the regular army behind. What a twisted world.
Oy!
I heard a commotion right at the captain's camp. Several officers were hurrying to and fro, and a serious discussion could be heard. The soldiers were whispering to each other, and it wasn't long before Ray, a soldier in my squad, came towards me and told me about it.
Apparently, our reconnaissance team brought on the news about the fort at the top of the forested hill that we needed to recapture. The reconnaissance team mentioned that the fort seems to be abandoned and no signs of enemy movements were observed after two days. And the officers were arguing about which squads should check the area, and that they had settled it by drawing lots.
I felt my stomach violently churn as though a stampede of mythical giants were running in circles. I had a bad feeling about this. I silently pray to all the gods I know from the countless books I've read, even willingly offering my life if they ever save me.
Ray bursts out laughing, breaking my silent reverie. With his nearly closed eyes and almost tearful, he seemed to be making fun of my face.
I glared at him.
"Dude... " He mimicked several expressions which I know I can never make. It was not a bit funny.
"And this… this.. And this." He kept on.
Fortunately, the squad leader arrived, Ray stopped, and all of the squad members who were seated on the ground stood up. There were eleven of us.
The sergeant cleared his throat. The air became heavy and I could feel everyone tense up.
"The captain received orders that we have to recapture the fort as soon as possible…"
The squad leader drone on, gave us our orders, and patted our backs a bit forcefully to seemingly to steel us. It seemed to work on me though.
It was decided, we have to move as fast, although it was late sunset.
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It was early nighttime. Yet the silver moon was at its full, and it seemed like a dim day. Silver rays passed through the canopy of trees providing good nighttime vision but only until a couple of yards away, for further everything seems to be rather clouded and unclear like looking at a foggy window. It was almost windless, just an occasional breeze that gently sways the trees emitting soft but ominous creaks and sinister shadows teasing our heightened senses as we were treading along carefully. The forest floor was filled with dried fallen leaves and our seemingly cautious steps were creating crunching crackly sounds as we hiked towards the top of the hill.
A platoon was sent ahead and several squads were strategically located, placed like a fork, while the main unit was following several meters behind.
A few more minutes passed but nothing happened as we inched closer and closer to our destination.
I heaved a sigh of relief. Yay! I can smell dinner- boiled sweet potatoes and soup that almost taste like water and a peaceful night.
And everyone felt relieved too. I can feel the whispering excitements getting louder. Ray inched closer to me and started chatting away, so I just nod in response to give off the feeling that I'm listening. Some of my squad-mates started smoking, and some of the soldiers ahead, as I can see several reddish-orange orbs floating about and dark human silhouettes doing the act.
Both of my hands were firmly gripping the rifle, the standard issue M1 Garand, so I decided to loosen up and let go of my left hand. Which I then used to pat my pocket and caress it trying to feel the almost empty pack of cigarettes inside it- with maybe a couple more sticks. I felt a tingle in my mouth as soon as I thought about smoking, so I gave in. I stopped on my tracks and let the others go on ahead as I produced a lighter, pulled out the pack of cigarettes, and started to light one, but a breeze blew and I was unable to do so. So I hurried up a bit ahead of me, moved my face closer behind the closest tree, now my rifle was between my armpits, and my left hand was cupped around the edge of the cigarette that was planted on my lips. I rolled the spark wheel and pressed on the ignition button producing a weak bluish flame with orange tips that steadily danced about.
All is good. Ah-
"Frrraaakkkkkk…"
Bullets tore through the air followed by indistinct screaming from up ahead the slope split-seconds after.
I froze. I can feel the gradually tightness of muscles in my face, my mouth slowly gasping, and my eyes widening as if it happened in slow-mo. My heart skipped a beat and my limbs melted like jelly, everything that I was holding dropped to the ground, and I nearly fainted. Then a hot sensation trickled along my thighs. I peed.
It was Ray who brought me back to my senses. His gasping head suddenly appeared from behind the tree, and his hands were clinging onto the trunk. He came from up ahead. I can see blood dripping from his hands. He dropped himself on the ground, and crawled beside me.
"Yo…" Ray managed to mumble between his deep breaths.
"Where are you wounded?" I quickly asked while inspecting his body.
He slowly opened his left arms which were tightly hugging his stomach revealing his wounds. I tore his coat open, and rolled his undershirt higher towards his chest. I squinted my eyes as I probed at it with my eyes and, carefully, with my hands, a bit thankful for the moonlight. Two gunshot wounds right each other, with a piece of thin flesh right between. A part of his intestines were almost dangling out so I pushed them back in. Then I pulled out the machete from its sheath which was hanging at my hips, cut a strip of his coat, and tied it around his stomach. At least for now, it will suffice.
I stood up and breathed in three deep long breaths which calmed me, and armed myself. Several soldiers were running in different directions. Some retreating downwards, while others rushing up ahead to help. Officers were shouting orders beating up those reluctant to go and those who were fleeing downwards.
Multiple gunshots were now firing in the air that I don't even know which direction these sounds came from. And that monstrous sound which kept on droning with short periods of rest, was that a machine gun? Fuck, I thought the fort was supposed to be unmanned. Damn them reconnaissance team!
Ray was now staring at me with his widened eyes as if telling me not to leave him.
I gulped my phlegmy spit in my throat. Then leaning closer to him while crouching, I gave him words of assurance.
"It'll be okay. The main unit is right behind us. I'm sure they have a medic with them. Then you'll be treated, then you will live to see the end of this goddamn war..."
Without second thoughts, I blurted out lies and more lies to calm him down. The truth is, he'll be dead soon. He lost too much blood. Damn! Fuck!
I gritted my teeth, feeling the pressure in my mouth as if to remind myself I'm still alive then listened around me carefully. My head was filled with questions. But there was something off. Why are there gunshots right at the place where our main unit is?
And then it dawned on me. I feel warm blood rise up to my head and my ears buzzed really loud.
It was a fucking trap! A freaking fucking trap! A Japanese platoon was actually lying in ambush waiting for the moment our backs were shown. My frustration is immeasurable and I was on the verge of tears.
"Name... " Amidst the gunshots, a weak whisper came from Ray who was leaning but almost lying behind the tree. "I… want… to… know…."
"Fuck. What are you even asking about? There's no time for that."
"Name! Please."
I conceded. I held the hand of the dying man. It was cold. "Adrian."
"Ray." He managed to say back and laughed, then finally closed his eyes.
"Yeah. I know." I whispered back softly. "Everyone always knows the crazy guy."
"You!"
I turned around towards the direction where that voice came from. It seemed to be an officer. He ran towards me and grabbed me by the collar pulling my face closer to him.
"Charge ahead and don't fucking run away! That's an ORDER!"
I can feel his spit splashing on my face.
"Yes." I weakly replied astounded.
"Yes what?!"
"Yes sir!" I then screamed at the top of my lungs. Suddenly, I felt energy coursing through every part of my body. I feel like killing. I feel like living. I just need to stop that machine gun right? I somehow foolishly thought.
The officer charged ahead, and I followed in his trail, and several soldiers joined in. We are currently fighting in all directions. The Japanese soldiers have seemed to encircled us, and up ahead the fort is a machine gun.
I never wanted to be a soldier …
That was the first line that popped into my head as soon as I was at the firing range of the enemy. The smell of freshly spilled blood and burnt gunpowder lingered around the air as a spray of bullets whooshed past me. The officer and I crouched behind a group of trees. I inspected my surroundings. Several soldiers were crouching. Some were lying on the ground while pointing their rifles, while others were completely still- perhaps dead. A pile of corpses have piled up ahead on the clear grassy hilltop, and a few yards further is the fort with wooden stakes surrounding it. Their black figures twisting grotesquely.
The intermittent sound of the machine gun which is at the right part of the fence, and was protected by sandbags placed carefully so that only the nozzle can be seen from the outside perspective, is deafening and spasms of bright sparks in the dim from rifles can be seen as the battle waged on fiercely.
"Land of the morning…" The officer beside me started singing at the top of his lungs. That melody. The national anthem. I remember singing it every time classes start. Oh how I miss the peaceful days. But then I violently shook my head, this was no time for restless daydreaming. This is not the classroom, this is the battlefield where lives are at stake, and I can't afford to be inattentive even for a second.
Soon after, voices from almost everywhere began to follow along the melody. And, what seemed to be the guidance of our ancestors, coincidentally happened. For a moment, a dark stray roll of clouds covered the moon and darkness swallowed the earth, the machine gun stopped its roar, and there was a moment that everything seemed to be silent and all that could be heard were the voices singing. It was at that instant everyone seemed to know what to do, and I could not even stop myself.
As if in a slow motion film, every soldier in the area, while singing with their loudest voices mixed with their strongest resolve, stood up and charged towards the fort. I can hear Japanese soldiers cursing loudly as we drew nearer. I shot towards that direction as I sped onwards towards the gate.
Bullets whizzed past me, as if someone is leading them away from me. Soldiers ahead of me fell after another while shooting, and I ran mindful not to step on their bodies. Somehow, a bunch of soldiers managed to open a path towards the inside of the fort somewhere a couple of yards away on the left from me as I could hear their cheers, and the fighting turned into close combat in that area. The machine gun kept on firing though.
I rushed towards the opening, but then the moon was suddenly bare and the surrounding was lit up again. Now that I'm close and it's bright as dim daylight, I can see a mountain of corpses piling along the stake fence. I felt my stomach violently churn. There were only at least ten of us running towards the opening, and each moment several others fell. The officer, however, was nowhere to be seen.
I want to smoke.
When I arrived at the opening, at least a hundred men were gruesomely engaging in hand to hand combat all around me. It was the perfect "all man to himself" scenario. I shot at a couple of enemies who were charging from up ahead until I'm out of bullets, then unsheathed my machete. I joined the fray.
I roared with my loudest voice as I lunged towards the closest approaching enemy. He reacted by instinctively pointing his bayonet at me, but I somehow expected that so I quickly duck my head, sidestepped, pulled back my right arm and stabbed his stomach with the sharp point of the machete. He groaned in pain, fell on my shoulders and dropped his bayonet. But he quickly bit me on the neck while my head was lower, his left hand suddenly grabbed and tugged at my hair in a desperate attempt to live. I yelped in pain as I fell on one knee. But then swiftly reacted by twisting the machete which is still stabbed in his stomach, and with all the force I can muster, slashed diagonally downwards with both of my hands. His guts spilled out, and a gush of blood covered my face. I feel the soldier's strength ebbed away as he dropped and rolled to the ground, lifeless. Then I cleared my vision with my left arms.
The afternoon local martial art lessons my grandfather taught really paid off. I feel somehow relieved and grateful. I wonder how he is right now.
But in that instant of distraction, I feel a stab at the outer side of my right thigh. It was a bayonet. A Japanese soldier was on the ground face flat, and it didn't even take a second to realize that he tumbled while rushing towards me, perhaps because of the lying corpses on the ground. At that split moment, before he could recover, I swung my machete towards his head and shattered his skull. A viscous dark clump oozed out.
I breathe deeply and glance around wary of approaching enemy soldiers. But the enemy overnumbered us, a mere 20 or so soldiers. The sound of guns were waning, and it seemed like the fighting was ending.
Cornered and with no hopes of escape, the remaining soldiers stood firm and fought. Every time one of the remaining Filipino soldiers falls, two enemies follow. I know what is happening. Like a prey cornered, all we can hope to do is trim down the enemy numbers in this little struggle of ours which, for sure, as the curtain of history falls, be forgotten. Still, we are fighting until our last breath.
Three soldiers charged in front of me bayonets pointing at me. They did not shoot. It seems like they ran out of bullets. So I leaped sideways, managed to avoid two, and caught the third one's bayonet at the nozzle. I moved with my hips, as I grabbed his bayonet with my left hand and threw him forward using his own momentum and kicked him towards the other two. They stumbled on the ground right above some corpses.
Fuck where am I getting this strength.
Seeing the moment of their distraction, wary of harming a fellow soldier, I took the liberty of slashing and sweeping at them with all my might, like clearing out the tall grasses. Then I quickly turned around sensing someone behind. But it was too late. A bayonet was stabbed at this side of my stomach. Then another one followed. I feel my blood flowing outwards, and the warmth leaving me. I fell unconscious for an instant, then glanced around me. It seemed like I was the last man standing. I felt no pain, and so I laughed heartily. The Japanese soldiers around me kept on stabbing while cursing under their breath. It seemed like they loathed me. My guts were spilling out, my left arm dangling by a mere strip of skin, and my right arm still clutching the machete was already at the ground. I can feel the pee and feces sliding on my thighs. But I somehow still felt alive.
I heard a booming voice, the soldiers in front of me cleared a path. It was an officer. He unsheathed a long, thin sword aimed at neck, swung back and slashed.
I felt my head flying off my neck, and at that last moment when my senses were slowly ebbing to oblivion, I saw the officer spat at my body.
Is this the end?
Darkness.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Darkness. All I saw was darkness, but not the sort of darkness that is all black. It is the darkness that one can see when they close their eyes. Splotches of different colors glide along the darkness, and if one would go on thinking an image somehow seems to appear.
I recognized a sensation. Twitch.
It was my eyes. I can move my eyeballs. What?!
I was dead. How? I was sure of it.
I tried to test it. In effort, move my eyeballs and roll them along the corners of my eyelids. But when I tried to lift my eyelids to open my eyes, I felt like it was glued down closed. I panicked in fear. My mind flashed with several possibilities of what might be happening to me right now.
Help! Somebody help! I shouted these words inside my thoughts.
But then I heard something. Lub dub thump!
I can hear? I can hear different sounds around me which I can't make any sense of. This is frustrating. I'm breaking down, with several emotions flushing around me twirling like a mad whirlpool that leads to certain doom. Doom!
I panicked again.
Then I somehow realized it. It's my heart. And after almost an instant, I can feel warm blood rushing throughout my body.
I started to breathe.
And as if my body is being revived gradually part by part, I felt different sensations each time. First my head which I can now move sideways, nod, and shake. My arms are next, down to my fingers. Then the sensation ran downwards.
My panic starts to fade and I'm regaining my calm exposure. Yet wary somehow.
Now I feel alive. Am I? I still can't open my eyes.
I felt a long moment passed.