Summary: Due to unforeseen circumstances, Mac found himself not only having sustained some lasting damage after an explosion in Afghanistan but also as a single father to a baby girl. With the help of his friends and the Phoenix Foundation, he managed to cope, but now, six years later, something from the past comes up, threatening to overturn his life once again.
Rating: T
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,917
Status: Complete
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429386/chapters/69664428
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Whistling, Jack Dalton poked his head around the front door: "Anyone home?"
For a moment, it remained silent, then there was a delighted yell: "Uncle Jack!" followed by a fair-haired little girl who came running.
"Hi, honey," Jack caught her and lifted her up in his arms, pushing the door close behind him with his foot. "Why are you still in your pyjamas?"
"We overslept."
"You did? All of you?"
"Well, Uncle Wilt didn't. He woke us up."
"Ah. I guess I know what happened. You slept in your dad's bed and snored so loudly that he couldn't sleep."
The girl, whose name was Charlotte, giggled: "Noooo!" Sobering up a little, she lowered her voice: "Daddy's got leg trouble. I gave him Herman."
"That's very thoughtful of you, darlin'."
Meanwhile, Jack had carried her over to the kitchen, where Bozer and Mac were sitting at the counter, the latter still in his sleep things as well and looking dishevelled. Apart from that, he indeed had "Herman" in his lap, a cuddly toy in the shape of a hermit crab that Charlotte loved dearly and took everywhere.
"Morning," Jack said. "Everything alright?"
"Morning," the others echoed, Bozer sounding far more awake than Mac. Out of habit, Jack looked the latter over: there was a certain tightness around his friend's mouth that told him why Mac hadn't gotten up on time and confirmed what Charlotte had said. He didn't seem to have gotten much rest .
Jack set his charge down on her chair and took a seat next to Bozer, who was already pouring him some coffee: "Thanks, man," he sighed, his eyes still on Mac.
Who rubbed a hand over his eyes: "Everything's okay," he said somewhat wearily. "I probably just overdid it yesterday."
Jack exchanged a surreptitious look with Bozer, who indicated a nod; Mac tended to play his problems down, his friends therefore didn't take his reassurances for face value when he said that he was fine.
"'kay," Jack said, careful not to make a big deal out of it. If Mac's leg was giving him trouble, he was going to use a cane that day, took a painkiller or two if Jack badgered him long enough, and that was it. He didn't like it when someone fussed over him, therefore Jack was going to make sure that he didn't "overdo" it again very subtly.
"More eggs, Lottie?" Bozer asked.
Lottie shook her head: "No, thanks." Then she turned towards her dad: "What did you do yesterday?" she asked.
Mac shrugged: "I was testing a robotic vehicle. The one I told you about, that can climb stairs?"
The girl nodded.
"It kept malfunctioning, so I was moving around on the stairs a lot to find out what the problem was."
"You're not supposed to use stairs a lot," Lottie said sternly, folding her arms in front of her chest.
Jack hid a grin: Mac looked sheepish as his daughter regarded him now.
"I forgot about that," he admitted. "I was so preoccupied that I didn't think about my leg."
"Did you fix the robot?"
"Yes."
Lottie sighed: "I hope it was worth it."
"Is that any way to talk to your dad?" Mac raised his eyebrows at her, obviously amused.
"Probably not." She frowned. "I'm sorry."
"But?" Mac prompted her gently, because she clearly had more on her mind.
Lottie put her chin in her hand: "I'm just worried about you. That's why I gave you Herman earlier. He makes things better."
Mac looked from her to Jack with an expression that clearly said I blame you .
Jack shrugged: She's got a point, if you ask me .
Ignoring him, Mac reached for Lottie, who slipped off her chair and let him pull her close: "Thanks, Squirrel, I appreciate that. You don't need to worry about me though," he said softly. "I've learned to live with that leg, and when it's acting up on some days, I can handle it."
"Okay," she replied, leaning against him. Mac pressed a kiss on her hair: "Are you done with breakfast?"
"Yes."
"Then go and get dressed, okay? Your clothes are on the chair."
"Okay."
"You wanted the blue skirt today, right?"
"Yes! Thanks!"
"Would you like to take Herman with you?"
"No, you keep him for now!" She hopped off.
Mac watched her with an absent smile.
When he turned back to the others and noticed Jack's stare, he raised his eyebrows once more: "What?"
"She's getting too smart to let herself be fooled," Jack said.
"She's six. She shouldn't concern herself with my stupid impediment." It was rare for Mac to acknowledge how much it really bothered him, and from the way he averted his gaze now it was obvious that he hadn't meant to say anything.
"No, but she's doing it anyway, because she loves you and she's a bright little thing. It's good that you're telling her the truth when she notices that something's off, hoss. Kids always appreciate honesty." Jack gave him a smile.
Mac pushed his only half-empty plate aside, put his arms on the counter and rested his head on them.
Bozer looked at the clock: "Shouldn't you be getting ready too?"
"In a minute." Mac closed his eyes for a moment. He looked very young and vulnerable right then, and Jack got to his feet: "C'mon, hoss. I'mma find your cane."
"I can walk." Mac drew himself up, blinking a few times before he got up as well, Herman in one hand: he stood motionless for a a few seconds, then he took a step and stopped again.
Wordlessly, Jack put his arm up for support; sighing defeatedly, Mac leaned on him and without any further ado, they made their way over to Mac's bedroom.
Bozer looked at them with sympathy but also relief that Jack was there. He made things uncomplicated in situations like these.
Mac was brushing his teeth when Lottie came into the bathroom. She climbed on her step stool and started to do her teeth too, pulling grimaces at Mac in the mirror, obviously still thinking he needed cheering up.
So he made faces at her too, and in the end, they both laughed. Jack, who was sitting at Mac's desk pretending to be looking up something on his phone while he was really keeping an eye on his boy noticed it with relief.
"Pigtails or braids?" Mac asked Lottie as he was combing her hair.
"A pony tail," she said after a moment of consideration.
"Coming right up."
They dropped Lottie off at her school on their way to work. Even before Mac had left the hospital six years ago, he had been recruited by a clandestine government operation, the Phoenix Foundation; his reputation had preceded him, and they wanted his expertise. Apparently, the fact that he had suffered life-altering injuries leaving him with severe nerve damage, most prominently in his right leg, was irrelevant. When he saw their new boss, who had dwarfism, he understood why, and he was grateful for this second chance.
So now he was working on developing robotic vehicles which in the long run were supposed to do the actual disarming of explosive ordnances; it meant thinking outside the box and very intricate mechanisms, and while it was still a long way until it was going to be able to be used, Mac was making progress.
Jack was also working for the Phoenix, since they had made it clear that they were a package deal. He was training new recruits in the adjoining building, that way he could frequently check in with Mac. On most days, they also had lunch together (which was Jack's way of making sure that Mac didn't forget to eat).
Another benefit was the rather flexible schedule. Mac could work from home as well, which wasn't ideal but which he did on two afternoons per week so as to be there for Lottie. On the other days, Bozer picked her up after school and looked after her; he lived at Mac's house rent-free in return, but knowing him, he'd have helped out anyway. He loved Lottie as much as he loved Mac, whom he considered his little brother, after all.
Mac was glad when they reached the lab and he could sit down again. On good days, walking was okay and be barely had to pay any attention to it; he still went to remedial PT every week because he wanted to function, and not only for his daughter. Apart from the nerve damage in the leg he often got tension headaches, both from overexertion or his neck. Meaning that there were days on which he couldn't even go to work; during the rest of time, he tried to make the best of what he was capable of.
While running was out of the question, swimming was a good exercise, and he was glad about the possibilities the Phoenix offered. Since they did have their own infirmary, they also had rehab facilities with a pool. His therapist said he was doing well, and after a while, he had felt confident enough to also go swimming with Lottie.
He wanted her to have a normal life and do normal stuff, unrestricted by all the things her father wasn't able to do. On bad days, those seemed to amount to a lot, and he was just glad that Jack and Bozer were there to pick up the pieces. That they didn't mind they had to step in as his caretakers when it was bad.
It sometimes angered him that he was so dependent on their help, and he wondered what he'd do without them. Lottie seemed happy though, and whether she was with Bozer or Jack, she was in good hands. And that was all that mattered in the end.
Mac was just examining a malfunctioning circuit board under a magnifying lens when the door opened and Riley came in. She was a computer wiz and already proving to be indispensable when it came to the programming of Mac's works. Incidentally, she also happened to be Jack's former quasi step-daughter, and it was he who had brought her on board.
"Morning," she said, giving him a smile and a surreptitious but attentive once-over.
Mac looked up: "Morning."
Riley put her computer on the table next to him: "I'm finally done with the revaluation of the motion sensor. If we update the software, it should reduce the moment of inertia on the stairs by 75%."
"That's impressive," Mac replied.
"It'd have been more impressive if it hadn't taken so long." Riley smirked. "I had to write a whole new program though, everything I had was too inaccurate."
Mac rubbed a hand over his eyes: "Thank you, Riles."
"Sure. I'll get right to it, then."
It took half an hour to install the update, after which Riley ran a few test simulations: "Should work smoothly," she then said. "Wanna go and try it?"
Mac hesitated: "Not today, I'm afraid," he said, patting his leg for an explanation. Riley nodded; she had noticed that he looked a bit pale, and since she'd been here, he'd gotten at least two texts, probably from Jack. If the latter was in hovering mode, something was off.
"No problem," she said. "I'll get back to coding then. See you later, 'kay?"
"Yeah." Mac smiled, even though he didn't feel like it. He'd have loved to try the robot on the stairs after the update, but it wouldn't have been any good. Trying to quell a feeling of disappointment, he turned back to his circuit board.
That night, as he put Lottie to bed, she snuggled up against him as usual while he read to her. She had taught herself to read a year ago, but she loved having her dad reading to her nevertheless, and not only because he was brilliant at doing different voices. Mac put his arm around her and felt himself relax; this belonged to the best parts of any day, if anyone asked him.
"Hallo, Eeyore," said Christopher Robin, as he opened the door and came out. "How are you ?"
"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."
Lottie laughed: "I wish it'd snow," she then said.
Mac put the book down: "You do?"
"Yes! For Christmas, and for sledding!"
"Oh yeah, that'd be nice."
"We could build a snowman."
"And an igloo."
"And a penguin!"
"And a polar bear, maybe?"
"Only a small one."
"Why?"
"Because it'd scare the penguin if it's too big."
"Right."
When Bozer looked in on them a while later, both Lottie and Mac had dozed off; it happened from time to time.
Bozer padded into the room, took A.A. Milne off Mac's chest and covered him with a blanket, then he turned off the bedside lamp and left again.
Some time after midnight, Mac woke up. For a moment, he was disoriented, but then he realized where he was. For a moment, he just stayed still, listening to the quiet breathing of his little girl; after a while though, he carefully extricated himself and got to his feet. He needed proper sleep, and he needed to take another pain killer to get through the night.
Slowly, he limped towards his room; Bozer had gone to bed too, everything was quiet.
In the light of the neon sign above the bed, Mac changed into his sleep things, then went into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror: at first sight, one wouldn't think that he was damaged. There were a few scars on his leg, one hidden by his hair and a few on his torso, but nothing hideous or disfiguring.
Jack and he had been lucky that it hadn't been worse; they hadn't been caught in the actual blast but hadn't been able to clear the collapsing building, simply because there was a secondary device which went off when Mac disabled the first one. Nothing indicated there were two, and he kept thinking about it, wondering if he should have noticed that something was different. Apparently, he hadn't.
He didn't remember anything from that day, only that they'd been in a good mood because they were supposed to end their tour a week later. When Nikki had told him that she was pregnant, he had decided to return home as soon as possible.
Jack and he had talked about the matter, deciding to leave together. It was already clear that they wanted to keep working as a team, so they talked to their superior, who put in a good word for them. If it hadn't been for the explosion, they'd still be army, though how and where, Mac couldn't imagine.
The thought that haunted him was that it might have been his own carelessness which landed them in the hospital, despite Jack being adamant that it hadn't been Mac's fault.
Jack had been injured less severe, but still badly enough to also keep him in the hospital for a few weeks.
Like Bozer, he had been a rock for Mac both after the explosion and after Nikki died, which happened when Lottie was six months old. A car accident, and sometimes Mac could still feel a kind of bottomless despair at the unfairness of it all.
He had gotten home from the hospital four months earlier, and even though he was still bedridden for most of the time and terribly weak, it had been good to be home, and it had been a marvel to realize that he was a father, that he had his own family.
He vividly remembered how, once he was awake, lucid and able to communicate, Nikki brought Lottie in for the first time after she was born, how she put that tiny thing into his arm, a warm little weight, and how overwhelming it was. The instant, helpless love he felt, despite being on heavy pain medication.
Unaware that he was doing so, he smiled: there hadn't been a single day on which his daughter didn't amaze him.