(camera shutter noise)

Around the world a video started being played on all screens that were active and billions of people began divert there attention towards them. A title card comes into the screen:

' The beginning of an age of chaos'

Then it turns to black and a man appears and says:

Hello you wonderful individual's, you probably know who I am but in case you don't I shall introduce myself if you don't know who I am you've probably lived under a rock for the past 6 years because I am who many call the worst human in existence and the literal fucking incarnation of satan himself or the lfios for short what have I done to deserve such a title, I have killed 1448 people directly and before you question that I tell you those were the ones that I did with my own hands that doesn't narrow it down enough by the 1448 I mean people who I stabbed,punched ,kicked and shot at to death. Then we have the ones that were caused by my actions these are ones like the bombing of Berlin and the great burning of Johannesburg for those and acts like them the number of deaths is just shy of a million and the deaths that my organisation caused more than 50 fucking million.

Oh yeah I haven't told you my name but oh no that would humanise me and than most of you're fantasy's of torturing me would be considered immoral to be fair I probably deserve that for the sins I have committed anyway I'm going of track my name is Steve Handjobs, no just kidding it's actually Ambroz Huangdi Hikaru Schneijder don't look it up on the database I've already erased it. So back on topic at the beginning of the stream I was going to say this, In this video I will kill myself in 5 minutes but before that I will press this button on this remote and when that happens thousands of places around the world will explode and thier surroundings will burst into flames this painting a beautiful image and signaling my death.

Anyway unless you're like me you probably want to stop me from doing that so I in all my graciousness have decided to give you a way out, find me and stop me from exploding the bombs the clocks ticking and right now you have 12 seconds left sorry for not playing fairly.

(Laughs histericaly)

Anyway goodbye you miserable individual's."

At that moment it felt like time had stopped, what he didn't tell them was that the explosives were nukes low powered ones but still nukes so at that moment what happend was not hundreds of thousands of deaths but hundreds of millions around the world and 2% of the world's habitable land was permanently destroyed with a further 45% destroyed for a long time due to radiation.