The Beginning
"From the darkness you will see the light."
I heard my alarm clock go off, I rolled over to hit the snooze button. I just needed 5 more minutes, I noticed I was needing more and more rest every day like I was not sleeping very much through the night. The dreams I couldn't remember and yet I knew they were there if only I could recall them. This was the worst morning yet, I barely had the energy to turn over and hit the snooze button. I just needed a few more minutes I thought as I heard thunder roar all around me, and as fast as that thought entered I was sucked into darkness....
Inside the Darkness:
I couldn't see anything around me, feeling as though the abyss had swallowed me whole and I would never be able to get out. My heart was pounding in fear and my breathe became irregular. I steadied my breathing, stayed still and quiet trying to make out what I heard in the distance. It sounded like drums or the very heart beat of the world, it slowly drew me towards it and I had to beat down the fear inside that threatened to consume and fill me. I had never been afraid of the dark until this very moment. With each step the sound grew louder, then louder still and other sounds joined that I strained to make out. I couldn't figure out what they were or even where they were coming from. Out of the darkness, finally, came a spec of light and I reached for it with everything I had. That small light was my life line now, the only way I could see away from the dark abyss I was currently standing in. Now all I could hope and pray for was that this small light would lead me away from this dark abyss I had been dragged into against my will.
The further I walked the brighter the light became, everything looked as though I was watching through a fog. My eyes tried to adjust, to see through the clouds that now seemed to surround me. That same fog circled around my feet, yet it did not make me feel fear but a sense of safety and one I couldn't understand. Suddenly I could remember a story my grandmother use to tell me about the fog, still it was just beyond my reach and my mind kept turning circles trying to reach it. So, I continued walking through the fog towards the small light and finally I was able to make out voices. The area had started to brighten as the light became closer, pushing the darkness away from me. They were singing? Maybe chanting something I couldn't understand. Then like a dam broke the darkness was replaced by light, a light so bright I was blinded for a moment so my eyes could adjust. It started slow and then it was like a light was switched on and the brightness flooded everything away from me. The dark that had swallowed me was now gone, no where in sight and I felt less afraid standing in the light.
My eyes started to adjust and I looked around me, taking in my surroundings one piece at a time. I was walking through what looked to be a forest, yet everything seemed so much brighter and more vibrant than anything I saw in real life. The sun was warm on my face while the breeze gave the area the perfect temperature, I wasn't hot or cold but comfortable. The leaves on the trees seemed to sparkle in the sunlight and reflected a green so bright it made it look fake. The shades of green seemed to be every shade of the color. I kept walking deeper, admiring the all the colors of flowers that surrounded me. The pink ones were so bright they looked neon and still there were shades of a light baby pink to, the purple so light it was almost heavenly and rich shades to compliment the lighter ones, red was vibrant the color of red causing blood instantly to came to mind for some reason, and all shades of blue ran wild in the landscape. I had never seen such beautiful flowers in my life, somehow it reminded me of my Grandma's many gardens she had always kept. For just a second I felt a pain in my chest as I remembered her passing. Still, I knew I had to move forward, I noticed people in the distance and realized some of the sounds I had been hearing originated from them. I tried to get their attention but it seemed as though I was invisible, they paid no attention to me or the fact that I was standing right in-front of them. I tried to scream and yet I had no voice, it was like my movements were invisible to those I saw in-front of me.
"Calm child, I will never let anyone hurt you. Watch and witness the scene before you."
I knew that voice, I would recognize my grandmothers voice any where I heard it. I had to be dreaming, she had died recently and there was no way I could be hearing her voice like she was standing right beside me. I knew my Grandmother would never hurt me or allow anyone else to harm me either. So I found a tree stump that had been broken down to just the right height and took a seat to watch the people in front of me. I couldn't help but continue to admire the scenery around me the colors, detail, and even the fantasy of it all. It was like a fairy tale not real life, I had seen movies and cartoons that just couldn't get to this point of realistic no matter how hard they tried. Nothing real ever looked this bright, if it did then it had been edited. I turned my attention back to the scene in front of me, for some reason I knew this was important and that I needed to see every detail I could. I couldn't have explained the feelings and emotions running through me if I tried because no words would ever be able to describe them. They caused not only a sense of urgency but a small bit of fear had began to run through my body as well.
Taken aback, I watched as a young women walked into the clearing. Her hair was so black it shined in indigo's and purple's under the sun light, and hung down to the middle of the her back. Her eye's were a brilliant and bright hazel and seemed to change color every time she moved them to look at something else. To me she seemed ethereal, as if time had never touched her. Her clothes were definitely not of my time frame. Her hair was pulled away from her face with bright blue flowers, twisted and turned into an intricate knot pattern. A strapless dress in Charlotte blue, that just seemed to flow like a river and the color looked so elegant against her sun touched skin and glistened like diamonds under the light. She was athletic and yet held a look of fragility to her here in the middle of the woods. She was in fact, a complete look alike to me down to the hazel eyes.
I sat in silence, stunned at what I saw, unknowing of what it meant and silently continued to watch as the scene played out. A part of me questioned myself, wondering if I was dreaming of my own personal fairy tale and yet this seemed so real like I was watching a piece of history. This was familiar to me but again I didn't know why, only that I had to watch so I sat back seeing the scenes play out in-front of me here in the seclusion of the forest. Fear sat just underneath the surface, but it was missed with urgency, love, excitement, and even a sense of adventure.
"Leo! Where are you? Come on, we do not have time for this." The women spoke out loud as she turned in circles with a small amount of agitation and a lot of humor looking for someone she called Leo. I noticed her try to hide the smile that was forming on her face but she couldn't wipe it away completely. I instantly thought of Liam and the way he made me smile, it looked just like the one on this girls face now.
Suddenly there was a tall man standing behind her, he covered her eyes and kissed her on the cheek. "Well, Jade I couldn't make it easy for you to find me." The man that must have been Leo spoke as he turned the women he now called Jade, around in his arms to kiss in the middle of the forest. It was so very romantic, like a fairy tale that had come to life in front of my eyes. The women he had called Jade visibly relaxed and allowed her smile to widen even more then before.
Jade couldn't help but laugh at Leo's play, yet she knew they had a task at hand to complete and the elders would not be kept waiting. "Leo, we must go. You know that we have to warn the others, war has already come and we need to band together more now than ever." Jade commented as she held Leo's hand and started to walk with him by her side. "I do not know if I am strong enough to convince them or even to carry this through to the end." Jade finished while her and Leo walked hand in hand through the forest, her eyes faced downward looking at the forest floor.
Leo smirked, just one side of his mouth moving up slightly as he turned to look at Jade. Jade continued to stare at the ground and the two continued to walk in silence for just a moment before Leo pulled her to a stop and turned her to face him. Leo held onto the hand he was already holding as though the two were anchored together, he used his other hand to tip Jades face upwards making her look right into his eyes before he spoke. "You are the strongest person I have ever know of, the tribes talk of you like you are a Goddess. One they have never seen matched in power and skill. The only remembrance of anyone like you are left behind in stories, tales we are told from the elders. If anyone can do this it is you, I have faith in you completely. You will save us from ourselves." He said all joking had vanished from his face when he started to speak and it somehow aged the boyish features he seemed to have just moments before. He leaned down to Jade's mouth and placed his lips gently onto hers, together their lips began a dance that seemed to intimate to continue watching.
The scene began to slip away during this intimate moment and shifting to another, a place where there was no peace but war and death instead. I watched as arrows flew through the air, they would just stop and drop to the ground before reaching Jade. It seemed they hit nothing but air, and yet couldn't get past. Others stayed next to Jade and seemed like a force field surrounded them. Women and men held what appeared to be fire balls in their hands, tossing them back and forth like they were a simple baseball; screams and the beating of hooves sounded so loud it was deafening. Cries of war, death, pain and heart break rang through the once peaceful forest. Then I saw Leo riding on horse back towards Jade and when he got to her side the grabbed hands, Leo pulling Jade to sit just behind him, she held a bow in her hands and quiver of arrows on her back. Leo had a swords strapped to his back, sides, and even daggers on his legs as he steered the horse. Jade moved with the grace of a gazelle, bending and stretching but never breaking. Watching her move around on this horse was like watching a Goddess of war herself. She turned herself in whatever direction she need to be facing, one moment her chest was pressed against Leo's back and the next they were sitting back to back as she fired her bow drawing one arrow after another from her quiver. There was no way to know who belonged to what side or who was winning. There seemed to be an iridescent bubble around them and just as Jade ran out of arrows the scene began to fade away and give in to another.
Jade sat on the forest floor, flowers surrounded the clearing she was in as she played with a little girl of about 2 or 3 years old. They were picking flowers of every color they could see and I noticed once again how vibrant and rich all of the flowers looked in color. There was a few I recognized from my Grandmothers garden and that surprised me. Leo seemed to be standing guard for them both, like a immovable stone completely still yet watchful and alert. I sat in awe as I basically watched myself in a role I knew nothing about and had never even thought about before. Where were these images coming from? A dream, I must be dreaming of my very own fairy tale or that was what kept repeating in my head, where I was the princess Jade, warrior and Goddess combined. Where Leo was my fierce prince who would always protect us and keep all us safe. As this scene faded, I was unsure I could handle much more. Every time one scene faded into the next they were so drastically different from the one before. Happiness to war and then back again to happiness, it was like being thrown around in yoyo style emotionally. My head was swimming with information that I couldn't seem to completely understand. I felt the light headedness and small migraine start, afraid the world would soon start spinning out of control.
My surroundings changed completely, I was now standing in my Grandma Alice's house. I could smell the familiar smells and all the familiar things that were inside this house. This was home to me, a piece of my life for so long I wasn't sure I would ever be able to let it go completely. It gave me a sense of peace and safety that I had not felt since the very minute of Alice's death. Pain, grief, and heart ache weren't allowed to enter here it seemed. I glanced up to see my grandma smiling at me. She was not old like I remembered but looked young like I had seen her be in pictures. For the first time I realized how much her, my mother, Lilly, and I looked alike. I noticed the similar features and the hair that we all had, the same color as Jade's from my dream. Now her hair had turned more indigo then any other color, it took me no time at all to notice the small difference in her appearance but I still knew it was her.
"Hello Alisee, you have finally come to visit an old lady" Alice spoke and I noticed that there was a light shinning from with-in of my Grandmother, it was like seeing a pure goodness that could only be described as heavenly.
"Am I dreaming Grandma? I don't understand, I watched myself in so many things that couldn't have been me. I have no memories of these things, I can only think I am dreaming my very own fantasy. Still, this feels so real, to real to truly be a dream." I spoke before I could think any better about it. The honest truth was, I would take any time offered to me with my grandmother even if it was a dream.
"Oh child, come here and give me a hug." She stood up and opened her arms, I ran straight into them and instantly felt her warmth filling me and then I followed her out to sit in the garden. "Alisee, this is not a dream and I know you want it to be but it is not. I am so sorry to place the burdens on you that will come. They will be both greatness and heart ache. You are awakening to your true self and my time has passed. I have truly left behind my mortal shell. Long ago there were events set into motion that would effect the future, the very one you are in right now. Our family is part of something so much bigger then you could ever imagine and the greatest of destinies belong to you." My Grandmother Alice informed me.
I felt more lost now then I ever had, how was I finding my true self? Where did all of this come from? I had so many more questions then I did answers at this point. "Grandma, I don't understand. Please help me understand." I said out loud while inside I felt only a rapid confusion that grew with each passing second and I was unsure how to voice that concern. I was unsure of what words would do it justice, wondering if any words could really describe what I was truly feeling. My insides felt the ring of truth in her words and yet not one part of me wanted to except any of this as more then a dream.
"Alisee, I can not tell you what steps to take or the choices to make. This is a path you will walk somewhat alone with guidance from others if you choose to take it. I wish I had answers for you and that I could make this easier on you but the truth is I don't know these answers. I don't know what will come or how it will come, so I will tell you the things I do know that will help you on the first steps of your journey." Grandma started, I could see the helplessness in her eyes. She wanted to make things ok like she had done my entire life and it pained her that she couldn't offer me all the answers I needed,
She paused for just a second and looked at me with loving eyes before she continued. "Long ago there was a war between our very own descendants and many more, our lineage goes back father then even recorded time. It was a time where magic flowed freely and our people studied it as a way of life, or a way of religion is another way it might be described as. At first everyone was born with some sort of elemental ability, and then as time went on this became less and less until there were only certain people born with the gift or magic and each one was gifted with 1 element. There were many gifted with one, and yet they could hold onto to others in some way. These lines became our fiercest and most trusted warrior clans. Jade, the women you watched was very special indeed, her powers showed years earlier than others and she was gifted with enough magic to help hold it in time until the prophecy could come true. This prophecy was never written and rumors of it's contents have been told through out time, never knowing what parts were truly and what wasn't, Jade only ever shared it with Leo and the two took it to their grave. The one thing I do know, is that somehow you play a role in the prophecy she saw and that we carry her blood in ours. Our family is a descendant of this very powerful women. It has been said that she was a Goddess who walked among mortals. Some stories say she never died at all and lays in wait for her time to rise again. My death had to come to pass so that I could guide you along your own path from the spirit world."
"So you are basically telling me that at one time our family held magic, there was a war that obviously wiped out said magic and somehow in the current time I am connected to it all?" I replied, I could feel the hysteria and hear the trembling in my own voice. I knew I was just repeating what she said in less words but I couldn't wrap my head around what she was saying. I was based in facts and evidence, there was no evidence to support any of this except a dream and tales this very women had told me from the cradle.
"Well, when you say it like that it does seem a little fictional my dear child. Still however fictional it may seem, it is the truth you will never find in history books. I knew my death was coming, I knew you would not believe the truth, and so I sent you a package that should be arriving soon. Go through the details in it, keep it close to you because only the Keepers of Time were meant to see it and all Keepers of Time come from our line as well. I do not know if there will be another with the duties of a Keeper as the prophecy is among us now. Jade would not trust any of this with someone who was not blood related her. Blood ties are the strongest ties any of us could have. Remember to rest, follow those written words and soon you will begin to see. Your Journey is just now beginning, you come from a very strong and capable line of warrior women in their own way so trust yourself and your instincts." Grandma finished, still she held that warm and loving smile I knew so well.
I felt myself slipping away and tried to hold on with everything I had, at this point I still had only more questions and no real answers. I was heart broken as a tear fell down my cheek at the grief I held. Noticing for just a moment that once Grandma started to disappear that these feelings were able to enter. I missed my grandmother so very much that it left a black hole inside and I just wanted to stay where I could see her, hear her voice, and feel her hugs even if it was in some fantasy world or a dream I created just to see her. She had told me so many stories growing up, I must be trying to bring them and her to life.
As the scene faded there was just a whisper from my Grandmother.
Grandmother's voice:
"Trust yourself child, believe in the impossible and your instincts will guide you through the darkest night or the brightest day. I love you and I am still with you if only you look and listen carefully."
With that I opened my eyes gasping for breathe as I felt the fresh tears rolling down my face, grief wracked my insides and emptied me. Sobs racked my body as I lay in bed remembering everything I just saw and heard. I knew it was just a dream, my imagination running wild in any way that would allow me to see my Grandma Alice. My heart was breaking all over again, the pain was still so raw, not even a month had passed since my her death. I could only find solace in the fact that she passed peacefully in her sleep of old age. How could a dream feel so real? It had to be a dream, but why in the world would I dream of magic, wars, and history that was unknown. I did not even believe that "magic" existed. At this thought my tears turned into a hysterical laugh, and I started to wonder if I was in-fact losing my mind. If only my family was here, but my mother, father, and sister were off settling the rest of Grandma's affairs and holdings.
My parents and sister had only been gone a week, and already I missed them. Lily was always asking to hang out with Sky and I. Before it always seemed annoying, but now I missed the sound of her voice and all the chaos family brought here in my home. It wouldn't be long now until I graduated from high school and my eighteenth birthday was just around the corner. I just needed to make it through finals and then I could relax for at least a short time, get my mind back to a place of balance. Right now I was obviously anything except balanced, so far of the spectrum I was in-fact driving myself insane.
Right now, the best thing I could do was to take one day at a time. My Grandmother would not want me to suffer, would not want me to lay in this bed lifeless with grief. Alice was always filled with life and love, she used to tell me that it was a balance with nature. I had learned about so much from my Grandmother and while I did not really believe in any of it, I always tried to make her my happy place and memorized everything she taught me. There were many who did believe in such things and it often felt like those same people had less knowledge than I did. Some times it made me laugh when I came across these people, they claimed to follow beliefs that they did not understand. Still I just could not wrap my head around there being any truth in the things my Grandmother talked about, the things that she taught. It was important to her that I learned all of these things through out my life. So, I did in fact pay attention, learn, and memorize everything she taught me. As I got older I was able to reason through reality and fiction, realizing just how much of it was fiction. While things like herbs and maybe even stones can help it wasn't magic because magic did not exist, it never had existed.
I decided I could not just lay here in her bed any longer, I had to get up and do something. Sitting up I wiped my tears away and walked into the bathroom. I had decided first a shower, then coffee and getting dressed, and after that food. Yes! I suddenly felt like I was starving and had to ask myself when the last time I eat was. Still, first things first and that was indeed a shower I wasn't really sure how long I had laid in bed tossing and turning before I fell into the dream. How long it took for the dark abyss of sleep to take me over. Stretching my arms and legs I stumbled into the bathroom and started the shower. I got undressed and stepped into the warm spay of water, closing my eyes and letting the warm streams caress my body. Relaxing just a little bit I took in a deep breath, the warmth now filling my insides just as it was covering my outsides. I opened my eyes and noticed the steam, how it looked just like fog. Since would say this was the hot water meeting the cooler air around it. This was not magic, but a simple display of scientific fact.
After I was showered, dressed, and had about 3 cups of coffee I grabbed my car keys with the intention of walking out the door. Opening the door there was a package on my front porch. I picked it up and placed it inside the house, I would look at it later after I got back because at the moment I really needed food. Yep, food was waiting no longer as my stomach growled almost making me feel sick with hunger. I locked the front door and headed to my car, then I was off to the food court at the mall knowing pizza was what was probably on the menu there. I had called my best friend Sky to meet me, Sky had been my life line since the death of my Grandmother. She had stayed by my side through all of the grief and depression over the last month. It was Sky that had helped pull me out of my darkest hour, her and Liam. Ethan was there in the background always, he was Sky's steady and her sounding board when things got to heavy. We made up a pretty solid group, the four of us and had for the last two years. I couldn't imagine my life without all four of them if I was to be truthful.
I took a moment to remember how Sky and I first meet at school and the years of friendship that had followed. There was nothing we hadn't done together and she was an extended part of the family now. God, we had shared all of our stories to each other and most of them we had even done together in the first place. The first cigarette we ever tried was together, and that did suck so it was never to be repeated again. The first time we snuck out of the house was together, late night calls about dates and boys, and just everything growing up had been the two of us together. Sky even went with me to my lessons at my Grandmother's house and she learned just as much as I had. Lily, my younger sister, even called Sky her "other" big sister and if anyone hurt Lily the terrible duo was out to settle that score. Finally, I was smiling as I went down memory lane. I had to remember all the good this world still held for me, because if I didn't I might not survive all of the grief and hurt inside.
Inside the current tragedy and the darkness of my loneliness was a bright light of friendship with my bestie Sky. She had pulled me out of bed those first weeks, and then she cried and grieved right along side me. Some times it was like having a twin, someone who I always knew would be there no matter what. There was a security in knowing I was not alone, that I always had a friend and sister that would stand side by side with me. Knowing I could share with her and that even if no one else understood she would. She was only ever a phone call or text away and this helped me to move forward every day. I don't think she knows just how much she has helped me or that I wouldn't have made it to this point without her.
Sky
The sun was shinning, and it was a new day when I opened up my eyes. I had such strange dreams last night but they just seemed fuzzy, like I was looking through frosted glass and yet even though I remembered that I could not recall what the dreams were about. There was just this feeling inside my chest that things were about to change. I still could not put my finger on how that was, I only knew that Alisee was a part of it with me. I found a small piece of peace with the idea that we would go through whatever this was together. I couldn't remember a time when we didn't go through everything together, I just wish I could ease the hard time Alisee was having right now with the passing of her Grandmother.
Grandma Alice believed some wild and out there things, she showed and taught us things others might look down on. I know Alisee never bought into it, she could never understand why we needed to learn them. Still I watched as Alisee learned every detail, and I had to laugh every time she put that knowledge to use. It always made me laugh when we would run into someone who thought they knew everything about herbs and Alisee would quickly teach them something new before she even realized it. I knew Grandma Alice had more knowledge then others, I never voiced my beliefs out loud but I made sure to learn everything she taught us to. I knew there was truth in everything she said, and that the things she was teaching us could help us in the future. I believed magic was real, I believed that there was a world out there others just couldn't see. Alisee called me crazy every time I spoke this way, we were so opposite. She the non-believer and me the believer in all things even if I couldn't touch or see it. I knew there was more then just science in this world, to many beautiful things existed for it to be otherwise.
After a quick shower I started calling Alisee, it was not like Alisee to ignore my calls or not call me back. Surely, Alisee was up by now and just as I was grabbing my keys to go check on her, my phone finally rang. "Oh thank God" I answered the phone and Alisee was on the other end, but she seemed a little off. I have been so worried about the grief and heart ache she has been going through, I knew she wasn't sleeping well either. I immediately agreed to meet Alisee at the food court inside the mall, obviously the girl needed some bestie time and I was always up for that. Jumping into my car I quickly started it up, turned on the radio as loud as it could go, and headed towards the mall.