FLASHBACK TO 1 HOUR AGO:
I was sitting in my room thinking all about him. Thinking about what happened today. I felt pain in my chest every time I remember his face... How typically I broke him. I reacted the way I never should have.
I know I have said to him things that I never mean. It was just the temper. I was scared of losing everything. He was always more than just a reckless affair to me. But I also do not know where this is heading to. I think I am in...
DING DONG
I huffed in frustration thinking about who It might be at this time. It was almost 8 in the evening and it was raining outside. I opened the door and I was shocked to see
"Mr Han?" I gasp.
"Hi I am sorry to disturb you at this moment, but I was here due to work and my car broke down. I knew you stay somewhere here and thought to say hi and just ask for shelter for some time... Hope you don't mind..." He gave me a cheeky smile.
Why didn't you find any hotel? But I couldn't voice my frustration. At this time I really needed some me time.
"Um sure..." I let him come in.
"Wow... you have a nice place" He complimented as he walked inside looking around.
"Thanks. Would you like some tea or coffee?" I asked being polite. I cannot just let my guest go like that.
"Coffee would be fine" he replied.
I went to the kitchen and started making coffee for him. But I was still lost in the thoughts of Alex.
"The house is beautiful just like you Miss Mira" He smiled as he took a seat opposite the table.
"Thanks" I muttered.
Right now all the compliments were feeling like nothing to me.
"You seem lost somewhere... is anything bugging you miss Mira? Can I help?" He asked acknowledging my current state.
"Ummm..." I am not sure how should I tell him about what is going on. I can't. But I need some advice too. I would have asked Nina but she is busy with her wedding that is in some days.
"I am sure I can keep up with your thoughts"
"Uhm... there is a friend of mine, who doesn't believe in love now. She had a different lifestyle. But then she met a guy who is younger than her but he was everything that she could ask for. He gave her the warmth and comfort that made her bend her rules. She got addicted to him. She is confused about how that guy can just break every rule she kept in her life and for some reason, she got angry with herself for that. And something happened that brought them very near to threats due to their secret affairs. Now she is confused and scared. She is scared of what would it do to them. She knows that they are forbidden romances, yet she cannot forget him. What do you think she should do?"
"Why wouldn't she believe in love?" He asked looking at me deeply.
I gulp and replied in a low whisper-" It broke her"
She chuckled softly and then replied-" Well, love cannot break or heal. It is just a feeling. It's us what we choose to see it. It was always the people. It takes two people in a relationship to work. It was never the blame upon the relationship that it break us."
He sighed and continued-" You see Mira, love is only a feeling. A beautiful one. It was the scar left behind by that person who made us this way... If you forgive a person but you hang on to their pain and the past, then you have not understood the meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness is more about you than the other one."
"But...." I tried to speak but nothing come out of my mouth right now"
He stared at me for some time deeply and then took a deep sigh before replying-" This looks like you are in love miss Mira"
My eyes widen as soon as he said that.
"What? That is not me... it was my..."
"I am pretty sure, this little friend of yours has very similarities with you. Because your eyes telling the truth of the story you just told me."
I stared at him blankly.
He smiled at me and replied-" You know not everyone can get their love. And I think you should chase for it if you got a chance"
"But what if I am too broken to believe in love again?" I asked being a hopeless person.
He walked a little toward me and I felt a bit uncomfortable. He kept his hands on my shoulder bending a little to my level. No matter how magnificent he looks right now, my find flashed the memories of Alex.
"Mira, Love cannot be controlled. It will come when it has to. There is always a second chance and believe me, the second chance was more beautiful than the others. And not everyone is lucky enough to cherish it. Trust me I am telling you from my experience." He said looking into my eyes directly. There is something in him that made me realise how broke he is. But I have no idea why?
I can almost feel how sorrowful he was feeling right now. I feel bad for him. Is he saying the truth? Should I give myself a second chance?
DING DONG.
I frowned thinking who it might be. I have no energy left in me today.
END OF FLASHBACK
I closed my eyes as I let the tears roll off. I was once again standing in the same place where I was once 4 years ago.
FLASHBACK 4 YEARS AGO:
I walked around the road of Delhi in a state of shattered and raptured in the early morning in my wedding dress. The red lehenga that I bought so happily was the cause of my destruction.
I was torn apart by someone that I trusted the most.
I was in that state where the tears refused to come out of my eyes. They dried off a long ago. I walked like a crazy woman who lost everything. The fact was that I did.
Somehow I reached my home and rang the bell. There was still decoration around the house. The lights were still there, that once lighted the last night. The flower garland was still there which was beautiful decorated yesterday evening. I could still smell the scented candles that were lit last night. Everything was still there as the same. But yet everything was different today.
I couldn't differentiate much from what made this vast change between yesterday and today.
Someone opened the door and it was my sister-in-law. She was immediately shocked to see my state and called my mom.
"Mom... Rajeev... Come down, Mira is here"
As her attention get back to me she immediately pulled me inside the house.
"Mira? What happened to you? Why are you here in this way?"
She began to ask questions that I couldn't answer at all. I just sat on the chair in a state of unconscious. I do not know who I am anymore. What were my morals, and what was my dignity? Everything shattered in just one night.
"Mira?" My mother gasped to see me in this vulnerable state.
"Mira? What happened?" My dad came after.
"Mimi? What the hell happened to you?" My brother's voice reached into my ears.
I looked at them as being so pathetic and broken.
" Everything was a lie! I failed dad... I failed. I couldn't control anything. I was so wrong" Finally a drop of tears managed to escape from my eyes.
"Tell me what's wrong Mimi," My brother asked sceptically and worriedly while sitting on my level.
"I want to go to New York," I said finally looking up at them.
END OF FLASHBACK
Since then I have never given up on my control over things. I became Valeria out of my vulnerable state. But once again everything seems to slip away from my hands. Just like it did 4 years ago.
The night went sleepless as I spent the night thinking all about him.
*******************
This morning seems to come with worry once again, and everything returned being all grey. Life without any colours.
What was he to me? Why did I ever give him the access to break all the rules of my life that I set? Why was I feeling this when he is finally going away? This is what I want right? To end things right here?
Then why the hell does it hurt so much? Why do I feel homeless once again?
As the days began to pass and there was a few times when I encounter Alex in the school, but nothing seems what it was like before. His oceanic eyes which once had a love for me have now turned into stones. I could see no emotions in them.
Bellamy transferred to another university and Mike never said anything to anyone. I wonder how he managed to keep them calm. From what I saw at the start of this year, everything completely changed. Everything changed between them. They never became friends again.
Everything between us changed. We no longer could express the affection we have for each other. In these three months, my world changed upside down once again and I was still standing foolishly in the same place. Hopeless and clueless regarding life.
Despite telling myself that I would keep a distance from him, I couldn't seem to keep up with my promises. I was having my OCD once again. The nights began to spend with tears and loneliness and I wonder what exactly I feel about him.
I watched him in silence from afar and that is the only way I kept myself calm.
AFTER A FEW WEEKS.
"I can't wait to come back and tell you everything about this trip. Hope you are doing well with your mystery man. Love you bestie." Nina sent a video message where I saw how delightfully happy she was with David. I sat on my couch looking at the few old pictures I clicked with Alex back when we were together.
I smiled to see how silly he made me feel around him. How perfectly comfortable I was with him. How every time his touch made magic in the air. How beautiful those eyes drowned me in them. How sinful yet magically perfect those lips made me feel like a woman.
I recalled when Nina said-" when he is the one you will know. There will be moments when you will realise that no matter what time you spend with him, it's enough. Enough to realise that your heart has already chosen the one for you. When you start missing that person even if it's been a short span of time when he looks at your eyes and you feel he is your world, your home, that's how you know."
That is when it clicked on my mind after several weeks, he was my home. He was my anchor. Now did I realise how important he is to me! Because no matter what the rules I set for myself all these years, only he was able to break them. Only him. He was more than just my obsession. After spending three weeks away from him did I realise how utterly and deeply I was in love with him.
I love him and I want him back.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Sometimes, we chose to see only what we want, and we can't see the truth.
I know it is very hard to hold on to all the people with broken hearts just like me. But trust me, love is amazing. Give love a second chance when it comes. Unless you want to be late like Mira.
She fell in love with Alex, before she could understand. All she did all this time was denial. Only if she had given a little chance, Alex and her would end up together.
I love you guys. I really cried in this last chapter.
But this is not the end. This is just the start of another book. I will surely be back with "A Twisted Love- Manoeuvre" Soon. Till then love ya all. Thank you so much for supporting this book.