"LOVE"
A four-letter word can mean so much twisted fantasy desired for one. The sanity rarely worked here. I was confused. I am not only talking about my feelings for LOVE but all aspects of them at this point.
I have always fantasized about "Perfect Love" but never really understood the meaning of "PERFECT". Nobody fits into it.
How can I ever feel something for someone I barely know? How can I feel so insecure and confused about someone I just met? How can I break the rules that have made my life? The insanity in me had almost reached its peak.
We were only together for a few months. And I had never been enthralled by the word love. But still, something about him felt inherently strong. Is it the way he made me feel so comfortable? Or is it that I knew we could never become "US" but still want to walk towards the forbidden fruit?
I kept questing myself, quite a few times "Who was he to me?" But I could never come up with an answer that could satisfy me.
It was one day until suddenly, between my fights with hell and heaven he asked
"What does all this mean to you? Us... you and me... does it ever make you feel anything? What are we?"
Oh boy. I could write a whole paragraph about how I feel when I am with him, how he makes me feel that could lay beneath all the desired crimes I want to have, only if it was sane.
That was the moment when my heart felt a strong wave of emotions that I could barely recognize. Was it fear? Fear of losing myself again to someone I could never have? Or it was the part of me who knew something in me wanted him too. I wanted to dive into his crimes and those oceanic orbs in order to satisfy my desire.
He was extremely tempted. Tempted like offering a sin. As we stare at each other, lost in our eyes, I feel like he is the fuel for my fire. To all my desires.
I shouldn't have felt what I felt when his hands gripped my waist firmly. Why did my heart race when his eyes locked deep into mine? Why did I start to feel the heat every time his touch lingered on my skin? When his hands find all the way up to those places, I dare myself to shut down forever. Holy crap!
On occasion, I would visualize these moments when we finally collided as our lips did as well as the extreme tension. Pulling me into his lap as he pulls back my hair and leaves a trail of small kisses. The butterfly in my stomach would make its way all way up to my heart. I never knew they could do that. I was so blinded by a mist of perfection in him, as soon as my hand landed on his toned abs. How could anyone not fall for that?
I felt the heat rising in the air as his hands grabbed my waist firmly. By this time, we were already covered in a thin layer of sweat that made him look so fucking hot! I bite my lips to cover the unchained lust that lingered inside of me. How can I not be tempted by this man? His deep stares. His smooth voice? And those gorgeous smiles... It makes my heart flutter. Really.
As I watched his eyes, my heart was filled with unknown emotions. He took a last glimpse of me before he devoured down towards my chest... all the way down towards my belly button and then to...
STOP!!!! This is a dream. This all has to. We did not know where this was flowing. However, one thing we did know was that a spark had already been ignited. Sparks that will probably end in fire. It was beyond the limit. The road on which we chose to set our path is a forbidden one. I wonder how we would end up. Will it only be covered in lust... or more than that?
Any limit we set; we already broke long ago... I would laugh if anyone asked what it was.
Still, I wasn't sure what to call this feeling. It was not LOVE. It can't be. I never believed in one. But then again if it were... it would only be in my own dark twisted way.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you all are doing well. Thank you so much for giving this book a chance. Please share this book or recommend it to your friend if you loved the chapters. Let's start the journey.