Five thousand, two hundred and fifty-six days in this fucking end of the world. As far as my mind (already crazy and lost in futile thoughts) can calculate, that should equate to something like 14 years, 4 months, and 2 days trapped in this shitty world. I don't even know if I'm actually writing a diary or if this is all just one of the constant hallucinations and delusions, accompanied by the countless voices that perpetuate their presence inside my head.
I try to keep my conscience and fight daily against the souls who direct their hatred towards me. I'm guilty, I know I am, but it's not like I care about it in the first place.
So fuck them and all that.
The orange sky runs its course with the white clouds floating incessantly across it. The sun is setting on the horizon and that's not good news for me, as in a few minutes I probably won't even know which direction I'm going now. With the mana I have left, I will certainly not be able to survive again the torrents of beasts and armies that hunt me non-stop and attack me at night in this deserted place.
Left to die in misery and surrounded by misfortunes my entire journey, I wonder what is the meaning of life at all?
Tens of years wandering this world, looking for answers, but what good is this journey if there is no one to tell it?
I say nonsensical things with no time gap, disconnected words come out of my mouth constantly, I don't even know what I really want to say anymore.
After so many events that have marked the history of this world, counting with who knows how many deaths and the apocalypse that devastated the planet once and for all, I was the only one left, being the last 'hero' left here. Unable to return to his homeworld, an unhappy and unlucky man from his ordinary life on Earth until the second chance he got on Acaris.
From what I'd been told when I got here, I shouldn't even have been summoned, but even with that in mind, there was no way back home, at least not for me. The gods of the pantheon gifted their chosen 'incarnations' with superhuman powers and abilities, what about me? I was ostracized and tortured by the sadists who were part of the Jeronimo Kingdom, and, soon after, thrown into a ditch to rot while awaiting my death.
But I refused to give up, and I'm not going to stop now.
I trained more than anyone, I worked so hard on everything I did that I'm sure I must have been one of the strongest people that ever emerged from this world; I'm a walking piece of shit, with a power that allows me to do almost anything except finding my way back to my world...
... Except, having a proper life. Wherever I am, I believe I am destined to live a mediocre life for all eternity.
But it looks like at least one of my problems is coming to an end. Just like the runic writings from a very ancient time, the answers I found in the Silver Kingdom castle somehow seem to make a lot of sense and match what Harlan's, the former supreme mage of the shiny era, journals have told me.
I can't waste any more time, not even a second; my body can't take these incessant fights that seem to have no end. At any moment I can drop dead on the floor, even if I hold the title of, Ruined King, the uncontrollable, or whatever the fuck those bastards called me.
There is no salvation for this world, I know that. Not that I was going to try to save the same fuckers who'd made my life hell since I was twelve, turning me into a bastard convicted of crimes I didn't even commit.
With the power I now hold, I will follow the example of those 40 motherfuckers who left me here to rot and I won't even bother to say goodbye. I'm going to use whatever I have left, whatever it is, and get rid of the curse that is being stuck in this fucking world.
In any case, I have no other option, as my basic resources, like water, ran out more than two days ago and I can't even remember the last time I ate properly. Eating monster meat doesn't sound very healthy to me, and every time I swallow that disgusting stuff, I feel like throwing up and spend the rest of the day feeling completely nauseous and powerless.
I was about to give up, I thought I had found my end, the barrier that would put me in the face of death, but I was wrong and this time in a good way: that was not the end for me, but a new beginning; another chance to really try, despite the extremely high cost.
The answers I've found across the continent lead me to believe that if I don't die I can cross the veil that separates the two worlds, and finally, after more than fourteen years trapped here in this hell, I will do what those who call themselves gods were unable to do.
The cost? I will probably be on the brink of death when I pass over to the other side and I may lose all my current state of power.
I care? Maybe a little, but not enough to keep living here.
The end of everything is coming, this time for real. The heroes who thought they had managed to avert the catastrophe that would destroy Acaris, and also thinking they had already fulfilled their sacred duties, returned to our original world. Little did they know that everything was just beginning and we are just small parts in this amazing machine that is destiny.
I still remember the look of them as they walked through the door opened by the gods; I mean, the others, the heroes, the 40 chosen ones, even if they were about to die, they smiled. This was happiness that only those who returned home in triumph felt.
So I ask myself: Will I be able to smile, once I fulfill what I want?
Anyway, if you who are reading this story of mine know who I am, believe me, before everything comes to an end, I will come back and show this world what true revenge means.
I leave this diary that tells the secrets of this planet, it won't be safe where I go. I'll leave it here, I hope that whoever finds it, use it wisely, as it contains all the knowledge I've acquired with the studies done in my fourteen years on the continent.
I can't wait to see the idiotic faces of those assholes who dared to leave me behind. I also hope this isn't just a hallucination and that I can see the sunshine once more.
Most of all, I swear to make you feel despair. I will save the universal fabric by using them as mere pawns in a game of chess.
Even if it's the last thing I do.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Adrian, the last member of the heroes.