The path up the mountain was long and winding. The lone small figure climbed off his paper dragon mount at the foot of the mountain and slowly walked along the familiar path that he had taken in his childhood.
Decades ago, his younger self had energetically run up and down the mountain, occasionally pulling his Shizun to walk faster, to play with him. He could almost hear his own childish laughter and his Shizun's scolding when he closed his eyes.
Many years had passed and he grew up. The feelings he had back then had long evaporated into thin air. Even with a younger body, Chu Wanning could no longer feel as alive as he used to. As he climbed up the mountain that morning, all he felt was exhaustion and emptiness.
Wubei Temple had not changed.
Chu Wanning had.
As a person who once cultivated under Master Huaizui himself, Chu Wanning knew the ins and outs of Wubei Temple like the back of his hand. He knew what secret path to take to avoid unwanted, prying eyes. The path that led him directly to the person he was looking for. By the time he arrived, a light drizzle had started to pour on the mountain.
Fate had a weird sense of humor.
Chu Wanning knocked at Master Huaizui's bedroom door in a similar manner he did after he crossed the small dimensional crack between time and space, life and death. Just like before, Master Huaizui was astounded to see him. Even more astounded, because the Chu Wanning who appeared at his doorstep this time around was a lot younger than the one who left him back then!
"... Wanning...?"
Chu Wanning bowed his head.
"Shizun."
The former disciple sat at the opposite side of the opposite master, exchanging long wordless looks that spanned for decades. Master Huaizui was the first one who broke the silence.
"You... How did you become like this?"
Chu Wanning lowered his gaze as if ashamed of his current state.
"I have been poisoned. The poison turns me back into a child."
"Oh."
Chu Wanning gazed into Master Huaizui's smooth face. Despite his advanced age, Master Huaizui still looked as if he barely passed thirty years of age. It was remarkable when considering the many things that the elder monk had gone through during the two hundred years that he was alive.
"Shizun, it's me," Chu Wanning softly said. "I am the same person who sought you out recently and passed a censer to you. I trust that you heeded my request and put said censer inside the cave at Mount Longxue?"
If Master Huaizui were a normal monk without any cultivation, he would have suffered a second heart attack that day. He narrowed his eyes and stared at the little boy in front of him. Ever since Chu Wanning left, he came back with more and more surprise for his former teacher.
"It's you???" Master Huaizui unwittingly cried.
Chu Wanning nodded.
"Against my wildest expectations, I have been revived into this world with memories from the other world. And I am not the only one. The one I mentioned to you, Taxian-Jun and someone else had also crossed over to this world."
"Which someone else?"
Chu Wanning shook his head.
"I don't know. I only know that it has to be the same person who was pulling the strings in my original world. I recently made a mistake and revealed myself to him. From then on, he targeted me.
In this life, I fear that I cannot escape him for long."
"Are you coming to take refuge in Wubei Temple?"
"No."
Chu Wanning inhaled a deep breath.
"Shizun, I have a request. Before that, I would like to hear the truth from you."
Master Huaizui, "What do you want to know?"
"In preparation for the upcoming Heavenly Rift, the feathered tribe of Zhuque invited representatives from all cultivation sects to come down to Peach Blossoms Spring to train in attack, defense, and healing.
In my original world, I joined the attack group. After six months, I went through an illusory realm that depicted a battle against the ghosts two hundred years ago in Lin'an."
A muscle at Master Huaizui's cheek started to twitch.
"Inside the illusory realm, I came upon a certain figure who bore some resemblance to Shizun. I wonder if Shizun knew him. He also had the same mole inside the palm of his left hand."
Chu Wanning stopped talking and waited for Master Huaizui to speak. Truthfully, he knew about Master Huaizui's dark past from his previous life. He did not deliberately try to dig out his master's past. He merely found out a few facts separately and came to connect the dots. All in all, Huaizui was the Shizun who raised him and taught him to cultivate. Chu Wanning was disgusted by what he heard about Huaizui, but he was unwilling to expose his crimes. Especially because by that time Master Huaizui had already passed away.
Master Huaizui opened his lips and confessed with a trembling voice, "That person is me."
A pair of glassy eyes looked down at Chu Wanning.
"You have witnessed my past crime. It is true. I was the one who allowed the ghosts to trample over Lin'an."
At the end of his words, Master Huaizui started to cry. It had been more than two hundred years ago, but the memories were as merciless as a freshly cut wound.
The tragic death of his foster father.
His bitterness toward the survivors.
His collusion with the Ghost King.
Chu Lan, eaten by the ghost of his mother.
Chu Xun, heartbroken and crying his heart out on the ground.
Dead Chu Xun who ripped his own heart out to protect the small number of people who wept for his death.
Little Chu Wanning looked very similar to Chu Lan in his innocence, but also very similar to Chu Xun in his strength and maturity. Master Huaizui could see the judgmental looks from the dead in Chu Wanning's eyes, demanding justice. Demanding to know why they had to die the way they did.
"I am sorry," Master Huaizui sobbed.
For the first time in his life, he broke down in tears in front of Chu Wanning. He had carried the heavy sins in his heart with passing years. The ugliness had scabbed over and was perfectly hidden under the holy robe. All that people saw when they came upon him was a holy monk who was said to reject ascension in favor of humanity. Only the monk himself knew the ugliness under the robe. The bloodied hands that were smeared with the blood of good people. Their souls screamed at him from the underworld, demanding justice. The selfish person who was responsible for the disaster himself was never punished.
He got away.
Chu Wanning's eyes were locked on the adult man who was shaking and sobbing in front of him.
"Shizun does not owe any apology to me."
Master Huaizui wiped his tears away but did not answer.
"I do not mean to judge you or make you feel bad about the past. The other thing that I notice is the resemblance between me and the Chu family. We even share the same surname. Shizun, can you explain my origin?"
The books did not mention Chu Xun in detail, but his name did go down the history. After Chu Wanning left Peach Blossoms Spring in his previous life, he tried to find a connection between Chu Xun and himself to no avail. Could he be a grandnephew? Grandson of a cousin? Who exactly was Chu Wanning to Chu Xun?
Master Huaizui clenched his jaw. He sat up straight, looking very tense. For some reason, the question about Chu Wanning's origin made him clamp up like that. The more reluctant Huaizui was to share, the more Chu Wanning needed to know.
"Shizun, who are my parents? What happened to them? How did you find me?"
This time, Master Huaizui no longer spewed out the lies he told Chu Wanning back when he was a child. He merely sat there, rigid as a rock statue.
"Shizun, please. I need to know. I need to know for sure."
Huaizui's eyes lit up in terror.
"You knew?" He asked in a whisper, terrified of hearing the answer.
Chu Wanning, "I have a conjecture. Only Shizun can confirm it."
Huaizui stared at the disciple in front of him. The one he had raised since infancy, the one he doted on, the one who accompanied him for years.
The one who he carved out of a piece of Divine Wood.
The truth was a lot like a jar of poison. There was a perverted ecstasy in keeping it to yourself, but it is also painful. Once the truth came out, the poison was shared. The pain was shared.
Master Huaizui never dreamed of having a conversation like this with Chu Wanning. Of course he intended to tell Chu Wanning the truth eventually, but he hoped that the little disciple who looked up at him in admiration never had to see his rotten heart.
Because that little disciple would no longer look at him that way anymore.
The truth was merciless like that. Once revealed, it could no longer be hidden.
Chu Wanning stared at Master Huaizui in a daze.
So that was how it was.
Every human being was born from two parents. Abandoned or orphaned, everyone knew that they once had parents. Chu Wanning was not the same. In his heart, he never once believed that he had parents. For some reason, his gut feeling told him that his origin was unusual. It turned out that he was not a human being.
He was only a piece of wood. A droplet of Huaizui's blood granted him life.
A wide range of emotions like never before surged in Chu Wanning's heart. Sadness. Anger. Pain. For a split second, Chu Wanning did not want to be a good boy. He did not want to be righteous. He did not want to be the Yuheng Elder of Sisheng Peak. He wanted to give back all the honorable titles they gave him. What zongshi, what Beidou Immortal??? Chu Wanning wanted to scream and destroy Huaizui's bedroom.
It was a lie!
Everything was a lie!
His existence was a lie!
There had never been a Chu Wanning!
Chu Wanning was a made-up person!
He was only a dead wood!
Chu Wanning felt blood come up his throat. His head started to spin. The room started to spin. And then everything turned dark.
Chu Wanning did not know what happened. The next time he opened his eyes, he was lying on his back in his childhood bed and Master Huaizui was sitting next to him, softly chanting soul-cleansing sutras. Outside of the room, the light drizzle had turned into a downpour. Occasionally, thundering sounds accompanied by crackling lightning could be heard.
When he was a child, Chu Wanning loved listening to Huaizui's melodic, even-tempered voice. He also loved how Huaizui looked when he was chanting sutras. He always looked so serene, so pure.
After he found out the truth about himself, Chu Wanning was not so sure about it anymore. Could a piece of wood be swayed by beauty? By heartrending songs? By the compassion of Buddha? Was it not what he learned while believing that he was a human being?
A flower was beautiful and everyone liked it. So Chu Wanning liked it.
A song was nice to hear and everyone liked it. So Chu Wanning liked it.
He followed the human beings, copied their likes and dislikes, and made them into traits of his own. That was all there was to Chu Wanning. Nothing more than a compilation of human impressions.
Chu Wanning slowly sat up.
Master Huaizui stopped chanting and looked at him.
"Lie down if you are still feeling unwell."
Chu Wanning shook his head.
"Shizun, please continue."
Huaizui swallowed hard.
"The reason why I carved the Divine Wood in Chu Xun's and Chu Lan's likeness was but one. I had planned to merge Chu Lan's broken soul into your body and hand you over to Chu Xun in the underworld.
I wanted to give him his son back."
Chu Wanning did not have enough strength to look at the elder monk. He supported himself with both arms at his sides.
"When did Shizun plan to do it?"
Master Huaizui drew a deep breath before answering.
"I had to wait until your body and spiritual core were strong enough for the fusion. I... I planned to do it when you turned fifteen."
They both knew what happened before Chu Wanning turned fifteen. The fourteen-year-old boy had defied his Shizun and went down the mountain. He saw that the world was suffering, and he wanted to stay to alleviate the suffering. He went back to Wubei Temple to persuade his Shizun, but what he got was disownment.
Chu Wanning's right hand unconsciously moved toward his chest. Toward the scar above his heart.
"Back when Shizun demanded my spiritual core, was it... did Shizun really mean to take my life?"
The conversation had gone this far already. A lot of knives had been stabbed into both their hearts. What would a few more do? If pain was necessary for a final release, then pain was the way to go.
Huaizui nodded.
"I meant to reconstruct your body using your spiritual core and carry out my initial plan."
Silent, beautiful tears dropped from Chu Wanning's eyes. Huaizui's heart was hurting as well. He reached out and pulled the little Chu Wanning into his arms.
"I am sorry, Wanning. This Shizun has done you wrong. You are not a soulless vessel that I can use to take in any soul.
You are not Chu Lan.
You are Chu Wanning.
You are your own person.
I almost erased your existence to grant life for someone else.
I have been unfair to you.
Forgive your Shizun."
Chu Wanning closed his eyes.
-No, he said in his heart.
-Shizun, you were not wrong. It was I who arrogantly thought that I could do more for this world while I was only a meaningless piece of wood. I have ruined your plan. I have hurt a lot of people around me.
-I have caused the deaths of Sect Leader and Madam Wang.
-I left Xue Meng all alone in this world.
-I left Shi Mei to die on the snowy ground.
-I personally pushed Mo Ran down the wrong path.
-I am responsible for all the sects he destroyed, all the lives lost in his hands.
-It is my fault.
-It is all my fault.
Chu Wanning started to sob at Huaizui's chest.
-Shizun, I am sorry.
-Your disciple is foolish. Your disciple is arrogant. Your disciple is unfilial.
Now he knew why he was revived. His sins in his past life were too many, so heaven had decided to make him atone for all of his sins in this new life. Chu Wanning was grateful for that. At least he was given a second chance. He was not going to waste it.
"Shizun, I have a request," Chu Wanning repeated. "This might be the last time we meet so please help me out one more time."
"... What are you talking about?"
"In the near future, I might lose my life. I need Shizun's help to execute my will."
Chu Wanning took out two identical envelopes from his qiankun pouch.
"I have prepared two copies of my will. I entrust one to Shizun. The other one will be given to Sect Leader Xue of Sisheng Peak. In Shizun's copy, I have also written some details about the specific things that I need Shizun to do after my death."
"After my death, I wish to return this body to Shizun. Please send it to the underworld to give to Chu Xun. When I descend to the underworld, I will personally go and meet him to apologize on Shizun's behalf."
Huaizui's eyes widened in shock.
"You don't have to do that!"
"I want to," Chu Wanning calmly replied. "I will do that in exchange for this favor."
"No," Huaizui objected. "Did you not listen to what I just said? You are your own person. You do not have to sacrifice your body!"
Chu Wanning let out a hollow, cold chuckle.
"Shizun, after I die, this body is nothing but an empty vessel. You do not have to feel bad about it. I don't."
"..."
"One more thing. After I die, this other someone might come for Mo Ran next. Shizun, you are the only one whom I can entrust Mo Ran to. After my death, please accept him in Wubei Temple. If he grows up to be a righteous person and he wants to do good for the mortal realm, please let him go.
Mo Ran has a good spiritual foundation. He might be mean-spirited at times, but I know that he's not a bad child at heart. When given proper guidance until adulthood, he has the potential to do great things for humanity."
-He is a normal human being, so he's better than me.
Chu Wanning knelt in front of Huaizui.
"Forgive your disciple for being willful, for being unfilial. I have stolen this body from Shizun for far too long. Allow me to make amends."
With those words, he kowtowed once, twice, all the way up to nine times. Huaizui sat there, frozen on spot. It was not after Chu Wanning said his goodbye and turned to leave that Huaizui finally found his words again.
"Chu Wanning, wait."
Chu Wanning turned to look at Huaizui.
"You know that I master the second forbidden skill, the technique of rebirth. Why didn't you just ask me to revive you in the event of your death?"
Chu Wanning's eyelashes dropped slightly. A soft sigh escaped the little boy. His lips trembled when he opened his mouth, but the words that came out were firm and carried an unshaken determination.
"Thank you for the offer, Shizun. I do not wish to be revived after my death."