As the the distance between the Science Block and the Arts block was considerable,I thought it was going to be a stumbling block in the development of our relationship. What to do? I thought hard and long and decided to go to the Science Block through the way running past the Arts Block.I did so for two or three days.Although the ladies hostel adjoined the Arts Block,I saw other girls outside the hostel but not Inna.So I devised a different plan.I made up my mind to sit on the cement bench under a mango tree in the park close to the hostel for some time before I went to the Science Block to attend my classes. After a week of doing so,I got the expected results. Inna would come out of the hostel and cast a glance at me and make her way to the nearby post office. I had not told a single friend of mine that something was going on between us.Our greatest pleasure lay in looking at each other for a few seconds consistently. She never smiled or laughed;nor did I ever do so. An intense love affair without the exchange of any spoken words or letters...! We couldn't know what had turned us into two dumb and mute creatures who knew nothing but returning each other's profound looks coming from our bottomless souls. Three months went by in this way of absolute silence.Towards the end of the three month period,I noticed that tears welled from the mute girl's eyes while she was walking past me.After that I too would cry bitterly sitting there in perfect solitude. The girl completely filled my thoughts. At night when I would lie on bed, I would shed endless tears. I would tell myself if I cheated the innocent girl, I was going to incur the wrath of God. I could never enjoy marital bliss if I married another girl.But I was totally helpless. I was dead sure her conservative parents would not allow us under any circumstances to get married.She was a high caste Brahmin girl but we were weavers with the social stigma of being mentally blunt from birth.I hated this idea the most.I was determined to prove that I could excel and outdo all Brahmin boys and girls. There was a similar belief that milkmen attained wisdom at the age of eighty.I found this to be the most revolting thing and called people's attention to the caste of Lord Krishna.
The Lord was born into a milkman's family and he was the wisest of the wise. He had given the Bhagavad Gita to the human race.
Reports kept coming to me from remote obscure sources of how she spent sleepless nights and never studied anything for the upcoming examinations. The same was the case with me too.Things became known. I was doing physics Honours.All my friends were aware of what was happening in me. Many of them advised me to talk to her and sort the matter out.I wrote a long letter to her once long into the night but didn't have the courage to give it to her.How could I give it to her?If she asked:"What is this? " The next day I got up late in the morning. I was also staying at the hostel at that time.
People wondered why I was staying in the hostel when my house was only five kilometres away from my college. My parents sufficiently defended me and my decision to stay in the hostel to do well in my final graduate examination.I was full of guilt as I was wasting my father's money and was exploiting my mother's simplicity and complete trust in me and my honesty. I was absolutely certain we loved each other. What prevented me from going ahead and fix the knotty issue forever...? I could never find an answer to this question. I took a vow not to be a coward and declare my love for her.But a very irritating incident had occurred in the hostel.My roommate Selu,the devil had managed to steal my letter to Inna. All the boys had come to know of it in indept detail. Whoever saw me smiled at me most cheerfully and meaningfully.Honestly speaking,almost all of them were smiling at me encouragingly.I was burning with shame,shock and embarrassment. I felt like twisting Selu's neck. Selu's greatest pleasure lay in smoking costly cigarettes. He was doing chemistry Honours.When I was indignant about the matter,Selu said to me,"Jadu,you have always been a hater of smoking and cigarettes. If you smoke a cigarette today,I will help you solve the problem and unite you with your Inna. My lovely....! My precious...!Just have a smoke now and get unlimited benefits and full access to the ladies hostel till the year end. My best friend, just have a smoke...!My darling..just smoke this foreign cigarette...'
"Selu,have you no sense? I am so upset mentally..You are playing with my feelings?" A boy boy named Sujit Sahu who was gap-toothed and always smelled of bidis and had unusually big bulging eyes was looking at me delightfully with his mouth half-open. His teeth looked coloured from constant taking of tobacco.He was an interesting character.We had a Principal who always appeared in white and Sujit's only concern was to annoy the little old man.The Principal room was located in a lonely spot.Sujit had made it a point to urinate into his room in his absence.The Principal's peon Gopi kept strict watch on stray dogs and whenever he saw them he scared them away. The rumour was spreading that dogs were urinating into the Principal's office.Sujit had a reason to do so. The Principal had once told him that he was wearing a blouse and the boys and girls had burst into laughter. Sujit also stole books from the library and sold them to a bookseller who dealt in second-hand books.
Presently,Sujit,the devotee of bidis or local cigars encouraged me to smoke the cigarette. Like a fool,I took the cigarette from Selu's hand and Sujit lighted a match.I smoked the cigarette and coughed several times. Selu was overjoyed. After the mischief was finished,Selu produced my letter from his pocket and handed it to me. Then he said,"Don't be worried. My cousin brother Aditya has read your letter and he will tell everything to Neetu.Aditya and Neetu are in love. Neetu will discuss the matter with Inna.Aditya and Neetu were doing mathematics and the whole college knew about their affair.