*Warning rated M* Sexual content*
Summary: Have you ever gotten an email telling you you've won a free cruise? Or one for a work out that will get you ripped in ten days? Wouldn't it be crazy if those offers were legit? Well for Morgan O'Malley they can be. Spam becomes real life when his meta powers finally manifest. Of course he still has to figure out how the whole thing works, but somehow he doesn't think the perks of being a meta are false advertising.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35258749?view_full_work=true
Word count:490k
Chapters:48
Chapter 1
Chapter Text
Life sucked. It was pointless and boring and empty. Go to school, come home, and sit on my computer. Read some stories, watch some TV, and hit on random girls. Life was a meaningless mess of empty nothingness. Some people might say that was because I lived in Gotham city in a run down tenement building, but they would be wrong. Life sucked because I was normal. When people like Superman are running around firing lasers from their eyes and the flash can violate physics being a normal person just seems...pointless.
Don't get me wrong, I personally love superheroes, especially the females. Black Canary can put a high heeled boot up my ass any day, but they make the rest of us feel a bit unnecessary. Why bother doing anything? Supers can do it better. I didn't bother with sports, didn't bother with friends, and didn't bother with girls. I was nothing, nobody. Just sitting on my barely functioning shitbox computer checking my email for god knows what reason.
It's not like anyone would be sending me anything important. I just stared down at the screen, one of those boxy old beige monitors they used before flatscreen computer displays became a thing. I'd heard some of the big companies had holographic displays now but it's not like I'd ever get to see one. Probably alien tech. Because of course in places that weren't earth people were born with fucking superpowers en masse.
I scrolled through my email, some feedback for stories I'd posted or commented on, a few offers for credit cards, reminders for things I was reading. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I clicked a random message that boldly informed me that just by clicking on one of the three brief cases on the screen I could win a million dollars! I sighed and clicked one of them, seeing the pop up informing me of my winnings. It just blinked off, probably caught by my pop up blocker, not even bothering to ask me my address or bank account number. Apparently I wasn't good enough to have my identity stolen.
I checked my social media looking for some messages from my few acquaintances, no such luck. I briefly considered going to try talking to that pretty blonde Asian girl, who always hung out on the roof, but her dad was super intense and besides, my looks were distinctly average much like the rest of me. Dishwater brown hair, brown eyes, average height at five foot ten, thin but not muscular at all. I didn't have a big dick. Hell I didn't even have a small dick. It would be unfortunate but at least it would be something noteworthy about me.
I was just mediocre. I got mediocre grades and dressed in mediocre clothes. Some of the kids at school managed to make their outfits look stylish or impressive despite being poor. Good Will and Salvation Army, or shopping the sales, they had all kinds of ways to make their style stand out. I wore faded shirts and beat up jeans. Not even anything funny on them. I turned off my computer walking over to flop down on my bed. I pulled out my old beat up flip phone. No one called. Of course.
I'd almost hoped to hear from my dad. Not that that was common, but it was my birthday today. I was turning sixteen. Mom was working of course, dad had money but he also had "enemies". The fact that his go to excuse for not being able to visit or send anything was true didn't make it hurt any less. Mario Falcone was definitely an important man. He was just also a lousy dad. I'd never met any members of the family except my Grandfather Carmine. My dad brought me to see him once on my thirteenth birthday.
The old man had told me what being a Falcone meant. He told me he would offer me one chance to accept the name, but if I did it I'd have to leave my mom and come live with Mario. I would become a son of the Falcone family in truth and no other family could claim me. He said it was safer that way. I was terrified of him, but I loved my mother. I told him poilitely where to shove his last name. He actually smiled at me then and he told me it was a pity to see me go.
My dad usually only called once a year now, on my birthday, when he remembered. My mom usually made a huge deal about my birthday, but she'd been saving to buy me a new computer and was working double shifts to afford it. My mom was the one thing that made my life worth a damn. She was the coolest sweetest most caring person I'd ever met. The only smart thing Mario Falcone ever did to my knowledge was fall in love with my mother.
Marie O'Malley was a runaway. Her parents were staunch Irish catholic and when she got pregnant they threw her out of the house. She'd been the same age I was turning today and she walked right into the nearest restaurant and asked for a job. The owner of the bar, an old man named Vincent St. James, had taken pity on her and let her work as a server under the table. She still worked at that bar to this day. I went there after school sometimes and Vinnie let me have free root beer and one meal off the menu a day.
I hadn't felt like going today though. I was just feeling kind of lost. My mom would shower me with affection when she got home; she was picking up my cake on the way back from work though she didn't think I knew about it. Our place had thin walls so I'd overheard the call she made to the bakery confirming it was ready though I pretended I didn't. She would come bursting in with a big smile and shout "Happy birthday Morgan!" And then I would feel better. Even if it was only for the rest of the day, that at least was something to look forward to.
I dozed off for a bit, laying there staring at my ceiling waiting for the phone to ring. It hadn't of course, but I was roused from my boredom induced slumber by the doorbell. Which was an odd thing to wake me, because no one had ever come over to my apartment? I was pretty sure I'd heard that bell a total of once in my entire life, and it had been a package delivered here by mistake. I wondered who it could be closing my eyes a second and imagining the amazing things that could be on the other side of that door. Gold, jewels, that sexy blonde Artemis from upstairs naked.
Sadly I had to open my eyes again and come back to the real world where it was probably a girlscout who came to this neighborhood on a dare or something. Regardless I was curious so I got up and headed to the door, flinging it open to find...no one. The hall was empty except a single, relatively nice briefcase sitting on the floor in front of my door. I debated taking it, this WAS Gotham, it might be joker gas or something. But in the end the oddness of the situation won out.
I picked up the briefcase, which was oddly light for some reason and pulled it back into my place, shutting the door quickly because I wasn't the only curious person in the world and some of my neighbors would literally shiv me for a briefcase even if it was empty. I carried it into our tiny kitchen and set it down on the beat up little wood table mom had picked up at a swap meet. It was polished and well cared for, because mom took care of everything well even if it was old and beat up. She treated our things like members of the family, treated everyone and everything with kindness and respect.
Every day I was terrified of what might happen to her in this town. I saw the Joker and Batman and the Scarecrow on TV and I just...wished I was stronger. Wished I had powers and was important. Then I could protect her like she protected me. I stared at the briefcase, sitting there on the old well worn wood against a backdrop of green formica counters and hideous yellow tile that was probably installed in the seventies and I almost didn't want to open it.
I wanted to leave it closed, leave it as a possibility. My very own Schrodinger's Cat, the box could have the answer to all my problems or not. In the end though I finally decided enough was enough. I was deluding myself, it was probably a suit or something from my old man, some kind of mob rite of passage he tossed me as scraps to make himself feel better about abandoning us. I popped the shiny gold clips open and flipped up the lid. Then I immediately slammed it shut. My heart was pounding. What. The. Actual. Fuck?
I opened it again. Slower this time. I'd been right. It was real. The case was full of money. Real money. Not singles either, stacks of hundreds. I realized where I'd seen this case before. On my computer screen. It was the same color and design as the case I'd clicked earlier on the pop up. I pulled the money out and counted it. One million. One million dollars. American dollars. Real currency. Non sequential and with different serial numbers too. This was an actual thing that had happened to me.
I ran back to my computer booted it up and searched for the email. I didn't see it. I tried searching for some key words. Nothing. I scrolled back through my spam folder carefully. There was no email. It was gone. Then I saw a number on my screen. There was a small one next to my trash icon. I clicked it and there was the email. Same name and everything, but it was greyed out. I tried to click on it but nothing happened. After a minute of sitting there it vanished. Not deleted by slowly fading off the screen like ink vanishing in the rain.
I sat there in silence, stunned. I ran back to the kitchen grabbing the briefcase and brought it back to my room. Mom would want to know where I got it and I didn't want to explain myself, hell I didn't know how to explain myself. Did I have superpowers now? What were they? Super fast delivery? What the hell. Regardless I would have to put this in a bank account or something so and pretend I got a job. Give it to mom bits at a time so she wouldn't suspect I was getting into the family business.
I stuffed the thing under my bed. We couldn't afford a frame but my mattress was on a box spring which was hollow on the inside and I lifted it up and slid the case into the empty space between the obvious impressions the thing left on the dingy blue carpet. I set the bed back down and spent about five minutes assuring myself it wasn't somehow visible in the way the bed was sitting despite that being absurd and pretty much impossible.
Finally I made my way back over to my computer and slumped down into the chair. I stared at the screen in front of my in numb shock and wonder. Was I crazy? Was this some weird coincidence that just beggared the imagination? Did I really have some kind of super power? There was only one way to find out. I focused on my email, scrolling through. But when I looked every single email with an offer or a promise of something good was greyed out.
At least until the clock ticked over to midnight. All of a sudden all the emails went back to normal. I could click them again. I stared at the clock, I hadn't even realized how late it was. Mom was getting home from her double in another two hours. I had slept for an entire night's worth of time. Come to think of it that was after I clicked the email. Had it made me tired? Only one way to find out.
I looked for my next email. Spotting one that looked promising. Muscle X enhancement powder. See results after one day or your money back. Get completely ripped in a month with no exercise. The thing went on to list a bunch of BS ingredients and offer testimony from probably imaginary people, but I ignored that. I was focused on the big green button that said "Order Now!" with three arrows pointing down. Well here went nothing. I clicked the button, and the email disappeared.
I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion roll over me. Not enough to put me back down but enough to be noticeable, if I hadn't just been sleeping all day I'd probably have conked out. If I wasn't sure I was doing something before I was now. I half expected to have to wait hours, but the doorbell rang again as soon as I saw the one pop up on my trash icon. Apparently my powers worked based on my awareness? Or something. Who knew. I walked to the door and opened it up to find a large box in the hall.
I shrugged and picked it up, kicking the door shut and setting it on our beat up blue couch while I locked the door up again. I carried the box to the table and opened the thing up with a knife from the block to reveal...a big tub of muscle powder. It looked just like the one in the email had. Even had the same generic brand name on the side in black and silver with a big flashy X. I read the directions and poured some into some milk and mixed it up.
I was about to try it for the first time but then I decided that I should see what effect it had with my own eyes. I carried the glass into the bathroom and stripped off my shirt. My pale undefined chest looked thin and slightly malnourished in the harsh light of the single cheap bulb above the sink. Not that I was malnourished, my mom made sure we always had food. I just had a really high metabolism. Looking at my upper body in the mirror I downed the whole glass of the shake.
It tasted like ass. But I stared at myself in the mirror, ignoring the chalky particles on my tongue. As I watch my muscles seemed to swell. Not crazy fast or anything, just the mild swelling you might get from flexing, but I wasn't flexing. The muscles weren't insane or over the top, I wasn't unrecognizable, but I could definitely see a difference. I excitedly ran back to the muscle powder tub to try another scoop, but when I tried to open it again the lid wouldn't move. Not like it was stuck but like it was all one piece.
I read the instructions on the back of the tub, they were laid out in clear easy to read terms and even had a handy little checklist next to them that told me which day I was on. The box next to day one was checked off. I raised an eyebrow but hey, powers are powers. Besides the email did say I would get ripped in a month. I'd have to keep up the regimen to get the full effect. I carried it into my room and shoved the old slatted wooden door to my closet open.
I had to root around a bit to find space for it but I didn't want my mom to throw it out on accident thinking it was some junk supplement I'd gotten from a catalog or something. I set it in a box I had lying in a stack of other boxes and covered it up before closing the door. I was now completely wired. I decided to try to do some exercise while I waited for mom to get home. Test out the new muscles to see how they worked compared to the old ones. I'd done workouts in gym for tests so i knew my limits and I was curious if they had changed.
I started easy, push ups. My usual limit was about twenty five, I managed about forty today. Next were situps. I could do a decent amount of those my max had been sixty or so and I got to an even hundred. Squats, jumping jacks, hell I even managed to do some pull ups using the frame of my door. I usually could manage five of those tops and today I got to twenty. I wasn't superhuman or even peak human, but I was in much better shape than I had been before. I couldn't wait for the next days gains.
My reverie was cut off by the door unlocking then opening and closing. I grinned to myself, my mom was home. I heard her call me from the next room as I changed into a less sweaty shirt. "Morgan? You home baby? Happy birthday, I stopped and got you something on the way home. Come see." I strolled out with a wide grin and she scooped me up in a hug. Well as up as five foot nothing waitress can scoop a teenaged guy ten inches taller than her. She squeezed tight and murmured "Happy sweet sixteen baby boy."
I returned the hug with a laugh, though from the ground this time because she had to put me down out of exhaustion. "I think sweet sixteens are female exclusive, but thanks ma, and is that a cake box I spy over there? Because it looks like it says Kirby Cake Company on the side and you know they're my favorite." I played dumb because I knew the surprise meant a lot to her and was rewarded with a beaming smile as she stepped back and threw open the box, presenting it like a magician unveiling a trick.
All pretenses aside it did look absolutely amazing. She noted the stare with a chuckle "Black forest cake, your favorite. I even had them add extra cherries. Go wash up, I'll get some plates out and cut us some cake. Birthday boy gets the first piece of course. I think we might still have some vanilla ice cream in there too I'll scoop us some to go with our cake." She didn't have to tell me twice, I headed into the bathroom to wash my hands before we ate. Cake and ice cream for dinner was an excellent way to spend an already much improved birthday.
The cake was amazing of course Kirby Cake Company made the best cakes in Gotham, the one and only time my dad had been at once of my birthday dinners with mom as a kid, he took us there to get my cake. I was seven or eight years old I think. Oddly they weren't expensive or selective. Old man Kirby just loved baking and was amazing at it. The place was a well kept Gotham secret. The ice cream hadn't been in there a few days ago, my mom probably got it just for today and hid it, which made me smile.
I sat down at the table to find a big slice of black forest cake with a small lit candle in it next to a big heaping scoop of ice cream. My mom was smiling at me as I say down and I couldn't help but return the expression. Between my powers and this, what had started out as a depressing soul sucking birthday was quickly turning out to be one of my best ever. I closed my eyes and blew out the candle, wishing for happiness for my mom because I had gotten the only thing I ever wanted earlier.
After dinner mom headed to bed, she protested that she wanted to stay up for my birthday but she'd just worked a double shift and it was two in the morning so I insisted. She gave me a big hug and wished me happy birthday again and told me she loved me before heading off to sleep. I told her I'd clean up the food and I put the cake in the fridge and washed off the plates and put them in the drying rack. Then, deciding to try to extend my winning streak for today I grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge, and climbed out onto the fire escape and up to the roof.
Artemis was up there, as usual. She spent half her time here and it was Saturday so no school tomorrow which meant she'd be up here all night. She liked to wait until the last moment to go home so she would have to go right to bed and could avoid her dad. We'd spoken a few times of course, so she knew me, but I had never really had the guts to talk to her for longer than a minute or two in passing. I usually ran off when she showed up. But that was old Morgan, wimpy normal non power having Morgan. New badass secret millionaire slowly getting buff Morgan had more guts than that.
She heard me coming and looked up, nodding to me. She seemed surprised when I walked over and stood off to one side of her. "Hey, mind if I sit here?" I gestured to the overturned red milk crate next to the blue one she was sitting on. She just shrugged and I sat down. "We haven't talked in a while. How have things been? Oh, brought you some cake by the way." I was floundering. I had neglected to remember that starting to get buff and having money didn't actually teach me how to talk to other people. Oops.
She raised an eyebrow at me questioningly, taking the cake. I smiled back sheepishly "It's my birthday. Thought you might like a piece. It's from Kirby's." She stared a bit longer then took the plate from me, taking a bit and giving a quit moan of appreciation. I was glad she was enjoying it "I love their cakes. That one is Black Forest, it's my favorite. My dad took us when I was really little, one of the few times he's been around." I didn't mention his last name of course, she was cute but I wasn't an idiot.
She swallowed the bite she had taken and gave me a bitter smile. "Sorry to hear it. Is it insensitive to wish I could say the same?" She gave a short harsh laugh "Trust me Morgan, sometimes staying isn't much of a favor. Thanks for the cake, it's amazing. Happy birthday, by the way, how old are you now?" She took another big bite, clearly enjoying the cake as much as I had earlier. Black Forest cake was amazing and Artemis obviously had good taste.
I nodded to concede her point, everyone in the building knew Artemis's dad. Larry Crock was not a nice guy. She might be right about my old man doing us a favor though I doubted even being raised by a mobster would be as bad as having to put up with Artemis's survivalist nutjob father. I was happy to change the subject however "I turned sixteen today." I paused "Well, maybe it was yesterday now since it's two in the morning but I turned sixteen regardless. Thanks for the birthday wishes. You mind if I stick around? If you're up here this late we both know you'll be here all night. Mind some company?"
She shrugged again. "It's a free country. If you don't mind spending the rest of your birthday sitting on a dirty old roof with a random neighbor girl who am I to stand in your way." She shot me a smirk and bumped my shoulder with hers making sure not to drop the small plate of cake. "But yeah I'll be up here a while and I wouldn't mind having a friend around." She sounded kind of...hopeful when she said that. Like she didn't have many friends and she was hoping I wouldn't correct her.
I didn't, of course. Artemis was awesome. She was gorgeous and pretty popular at school, not to mention she always kicked ass in the archery segment of P.E when we were kids. The girl was seriously talented with a bow and arrow. We didn't keep making small talk really, just kind of hung out. There was the occasional bit of conversation but mostly we were just relaxing and looking up at the stars. I had to smile internally though, because it was official. Best birthday ever.
The next morning mom was gone when I woke up. She usually left early enough that even on school days I didn't see her before work and I had been up on the roof with Artemis until almost five thirty. I booted up my computer to check on my power but sadly the whole one day rule appeared to be midnight to midnight. I would have to wait until tomorrow to try it again. That said I did dig out my muscle powder and make myself today's shake, carrying it into the bathroom so I could watch the results.
Since the top actually opened this time the powder, unlike my ability, must count a day as when I wake up to when I go to sleep. After downing the chalky dumpster water though I was treated to the wonderful sight of my muscles expanding slightly. Today most of the effect seemed to go into definition rather than size, my muscles becoming more cut, but I did get a bit bigger. The shirt I put back on was stretched tight on my frame in a way it hadn't been before.
I could actually see my muscles under the shirt and I looked damn good. Since it was Saturday I decided it was time to set up a bank account. I took a shower and put on my nicest clothes, which granted, were just a button up from good will and a pair of slightly less beat up black jeans, but still. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and once I was sure everything was done I lifted up my bed and slid out the briefcase. I didn't have an ID yet so I grabbed my social security card and birth certificate and put them in my wallet.
I was about to leave when I had a thought. It was risky and probably stupid but...I was alone. I couldn't tell my mom about this because she would worry and I didn't have many other people in my life. I walked up the dingy steps two floors and knocked on a door that looked slightly sturdier than mine. The door opened and Artemis was standing there in a big red football jersey, her hair wet from the shower. She smiled when she saw me "Hey, Morgan good to see you, what's up?"
I shrugged and tried not to draw attention to the briefcase any more than necessary with the gesture as I responded. "I actually had some errands to run and I was hoping to talk to you about some stuff that's been going on. You free today?" She wasn't fidgeting or upset so I guessed her dad wasn't home, but I wasn't sure if she would want to spend the day with me. I was worried she might think I was trying something when honestly I just needed a friend to talk to. This superpowers thing was great but now that I had something important to share I realized how lonely my self imposed isolation was.
She grinned back at me "Of course! That sounds like fun. I don't usually do anything on weekend." It struck me that despite being fairly popular on a surface level Artemis didn't really spend time with anyone specific. Everyone said hi to her and offered her greetings when she went by but she didn't really have any actual friends. Maybe because she was scared to bring them home she stepped out to close the door and I cleared my throat.
She looked at me confused and i flicked my eyes down to her bare and very toned legs. "I uh...think you might have forgot to put on pants?" Her eyes widened and she quickly unlocked the door, blushing profusely. It was a rare sight from what I knew of her. It was kind of cute though, that she'd been so excited to spend time with a friend for once she'd forgotten to put pants on. Not that it would stop me from mocking her about it later on. She closed the door behind her and I heard thumping and rustling for a minute before it opened again.
She'd changed the jersey for a white tank top with a hoodie over it and put on black yoga pants. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she wasn't wearing makeup because she didn't need it. Despite my completely platonic intentions seeing that tight little ass in those yoga pants made me do a double take. Good lord that girl was in good shape. Luckily I jerked my eyes away from the thin stretch fabric painted across her perfectly sculpted butt before she turned around.
She was a bit out of breath from rushing but she gave me a bright smile and a thumbs up. "Ok good to go. Sorry about that. By which I mean that we will never speak of this again." She was still a bit red faced but it looked cute on her. She raised an eyebrow at me running her eyes over my body. "Though speaking of clothes I don't remember you filling yours out quite that nicely. Someone has been hitting the gym huh? I didn't even notice last night."
We set off for the bank at brisk walk. The key to not being hassled in Gotham was to walk with purpose. Fast and sure enough of yourself that people thought you had important places to be but not fast enough to seem like you're worried about anything. Artemis and I were both residents of this neighborhood so we naturally had the walk down to a science. Once we got far enough away from out side of town and more towards the Diamond District we slowed down to a more leisurely pace and resumed our conversation.
Artemis had clearly noticed the briefcase a while ago and chosen not to comment on it, but she prompted me to at least fill her in on my earlier worries. "So, you mentioned you wanted to talk about some things that have been going on with you. Is everything alright? If you're having trouble at school or something I can totally help out. I know those guys on the baseball team are dicks to you." She seemed genuinely concerned and I was touched by her obvious worry.
Artemis and I had known each other for years but we were still new friends. It spoke really well of her as a person. I shook my head though "Those guys are dicks to everyone. They don't have it out for me in particular. No this isn't a bad thing...just a big thing...I sort of...kind of..." I lowered my voice to a low murmur "Might have a superpower." Her eyes went wide and I rushed to explain "It's a new thing though! I just figured it out yesterday. I just...I don't have anyone else to tell."
Her expression had been transforming from shock to suspicion as she looked at the briefcase but it relaxed into sympathy when she heard the last bit. She exhaled and nodded "Ok. Yeah. Big is right. Well, what is your power? I hope it's not something skeezy like mind reading or pheromone control. The last thing this town needs is a male poison ivy." She shot me a smile to show she was teasing but I could tell she actually would have been pretty upset about that particular power.
Luckily my power was much wierder than that. I explained what had happened to me and how my power worked. I didn't show her what was in the briefcase because we were in the middle of a Gotham street and I wasn't suicidal, but I did tell her under my breath. I told her about the muscle powder and how happy having powers made me. She was as blown away and confused as I was. My power was weird and complicated. Most metas got the typical flying brick package or something simple and straightforward.
She looked at me appraisingly for a minute. Then her mouth twitched a bit, which turned into a smile and finally she snorted and thew dam broke releasing her uncontrollable laughter. She laughed so hard she fell against the building barely able to hold herself up from the sheer ferocity of her giggles. I looked at her like a crazy person and she managed to gasp out. "I-I'm sorry. But I was j-just thinking about how long you'd wait before ordering some of those male enhancement pills. Since you're the only person they would actually work for." Finishing the sentence set her off again and she dissolved into hysterical laughter.
I rolled my eyes but I couldn't exactly argue. It had been one of the first things I'd considered. I naturally wouldn't do it until I had some more useful stuff like language programs for daily use but...what guy wouldn't try out a pill he knew would make his dick bigger? We kept walking after a minute, Artemis giggling nonstop and asking me about wether I could introduce her to horny singles in her area. Stealing another glance at her toned little booty in those pants I was guessing she didn't actually need the intro.
Finally we got to Gotham National Bank. GNB was the fancy rich person bank where people like my dad had accounts. Aside from a very catchy theme song about being "The World Leader in Credit and Banking" GNB also had a reputation for having absolute discretion when it came to their clients. The bank also employed metahuman guards and was rarely robbed, which was something of an achievement in Gotham.
I walked up the counter and asked to speak to someone, but since I was dressed in beat up old clothes and Artemis and I were sixteen we were directed to the lobby to wait for the next banker. We didn't have much to complain about, they had a really nice coffee maker and heated carafe of high end coffee for the guests and I helped myself to a cup with as much cream and sugar as possible. Artemis just sneered at me and poured herself a cup, drinking it black.
Finally the banker called me up, looking bored and impatient. At least until I set the briefcase down. I turned it and opened it up, revealing the neatly stacked bills in their bands and the rich interior of the case. I looked him in the eyes "I've been instructed to make an account and place this money inside under my own name. If necessary I can contact my employer to have him confirm this but he would prefer to rely on your...discretion." I made sure to put every ounce of smug arrogant douchebag I could into the statement.
This being Gotham rich criminals using patsies to make accounts so they could dodge taxes was far from unusual. It was in fact much more believable than assuming a pair of teenagers had ripped off someone with this kind of money and emerged unscathed. GNB didn't ask questions, they were famous for that, so he immediately smiled in a much friendlier manner than he had earlier "No need sir. A checking account doesn't require anything but the usual verification, do you happen to have ID?"
I handed over my birth certificate, though I kept my social security card, not willing to hand it over unless asked. It never came up however, probably because of my dads name on the certificate. The man carried the case away and came back handing me a platinum colored debit card with a smile. "Because your initial deposit was seven figures you qualify for one of our platinum accounts. That particular account provides a five percent APY and no monthly fees for the first nine months." He passed me the shiny card with my name across the front with a smile.
We stepped out of the bank into the crisp clean Saturday air and I couldn't help but smile. Artemis punched me in the arm with a grin. "So how does it feel to be loaded, moneybags? Anything special you've always wanted to buy? I figure new digs are in order but what about for your first spending spree? Gonna get a Ferrari or a limo, maybe hit a strip club?" I just shrugged, I mean I'd planned to buy a condo for my mom and I but other than that and maybe a new computer and some clothes I didn't have any ideas and I said as much to Artemis.
She chewed her lip "I was going to suggest we do the clothes today but its probably safer to wait until you actually get a new place so you aren't moving expensive stuff out of our building. I guess we could go apartment shopping but I don't even know how you would go about that." She looked disappointed but then she ran her eyes over my much more muscled torso again and they lit up. "Oh! Training! You're starting to get all buff and stuff but you have no clue how to fight. "She grinned at me viciously "Come on then rich boy, let's find somewhere to spar. Time to see what you've got."
We swung back by the apartment to drop of my social security card and birth certificate and so I could hide my new debit card because carrying it around just seemed like asking for trouble. While we were there I changed into some beat around clothes and we went up to the roof to do the training Artemis had suggested. I was kind of excited about the whole thing honestly I knew her dad had her in martial arts lessons or something maybe she could teach me some katas or even just how to punch right.
When we got up there she led me through some stretches to limber me up so I didn't pull something, andI did my best to follow along despire her still wearing those yoga pants and very obviously not having underwear on. When we finally finished she took up a position across from me. "Alright, to teach you anything I need to see what you can do, so try to hit me." She spread her arms wide in a gesture of invitation for me to come at her but...she was a girl. I was like four inches taller than her and starting to bulk up.
She noticed my hesitation and smirked "Don't worry, you won't hurt delicate little Arty from upstairs. I've taken on much bigger and better than you moneybags. Come on." She turned around and smacked her ass "Or is it because you aren't a fan of the front. You've certainly been eyeing up the back enough today. That's right I noticed all the staring. If you can lay a finger on me I'll pull my pants down and let you slap it." I couldn't very well turn down that offer; I barely hesitated as I charged.
Artemis stepped to the side, grabbed my outstretched arm and my shoulder, hooked my ankle and used my momentum to take me off my feet and straight up throw me back the way I came. Luckily I hit an old piece of plywood that broke my fall, which prevented my fall from breaking me. Artemis was howling with laughter as she leaned against the wall next to the door of the stairway down. "Oh gods, your face. You looked like a cartoon wolf with hearts in its eyes. I think this is how the roadrunner feels. Meep meep motherfucker."
I groaned and climbed to my feet, glaring at her "Was that really necessary? Weren't you supposed to be testing me? What was that a test of, my unladen air speed velocity?" She tapedered off her giggles and I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm glad I amuse you so much Arty." I used her teasing nickname from earlier and she didn't seem to mind. "Regardless did you actually get any information on how to teach me?" I admit my pride was a bit wounded by the poor showing.
She finally got herself fully under control and she shot me a smile "I learned plenty. Now it's time for you to learn a few things. This isn't a book or a movie; you're not going to wow me with your natural martial prowess and fuck me senseless after earning my adoration with a hard fought battle. I'm going to kick your ass. A lot. It's going to suck. A lot. It's going to suck even more if you're so distracted thinking about sex that you can't even use the miniscule combat skills you actually do have."
I blushed in shame but she just laughed and waved it off. "We're good Morgan, I'm not mad. I'm sexy, I know that. It's not bragging it's just a fact. I don't begrudge you a little time with me in your spank bank. But this isn't some pretext for our sexual tension. If you have powers people are going to eventually want to use you for them. They're going to come after you and if you can't protect yourself you're going to get hurt. So you'd better pry your eyes off my ass cheeks and get them looking for my next attack if you don't want a concussion."
I nodded, feeling my face assume a neutral mask as I put my fists up in front of my face, trying to remember what little I knew about fighting. Artemis nodded approvingly continuing her lesson "Very good, that's what I like to see. Bend your knees a bit, not too much but if you lock your legs it's easier to knock you over. Bending your knees lets you turn some of that forward momentum into downward momentum which helps you stay in place." She walked up and used her foot to smack the side of mine, pushing my leg outward to adjust my stance.
I tried to accept her notes as best I could and adjust my stance. "I was thinking about using my powers to get a thirty day martial arts master course or something. Would doing that mess up our lessons? Should I leave it until I have a better foundation or something?" Martial arts had been number one on my list after the muscle building, along with maybe some languages and math skills. Admittedly like Artemis had intimated part of me was looking forward to things like penis enlargement pills and foolproof systems for picking up girls but those were for later.
Artemis looked at me like I was crazy. "Fuck no you shouldn't. I'm teaching you how to survive here. Being a kung fu master is a much better way to do that than hard work and perserverence. This isn't a fucking dojo Morgan, this is real life. If you have an advantage, use it. In the real world no one cares how hard you worked or whether you earned your skills. They care about how strong you are. Squeeze every advantage you can out of your powers, that's what'll keep you alive when your back is against the wall. If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'."
I laughed at that and her smile was still pretty wolfish but it was like I was in on the joke now. This wasn't mockery as much as camaraderie. This time when she wanted me to attack she stayed in close. I didn't make the mistake of getting distracted this time. I threw out a brutal haymaker, trusting by this point that she was more than able to take whatever I could dish out. Between one breath and the next I was on my back with Artemis standing over me offering a hand.
I hadn't noticed while I was catching up to her after she finished stretching she'd taped up her fingers. She pulled me to my feet and I finally realized what happened. She'd punched me; hit me in the jaw in exactly the right spot to rattle my brain. I winced and touched the forming bruise. "Jesus Artemis that was so fast, how was I supposed to even see that coming? I'm supposed to be learning here right? You can't just let loose at my face at full speed." My ears were still ringing slightly from the blow.
She shook her head, still smiling "You aren't supposed to see it coming. You're supposed to keep your guard up so I don't have an opening. People don't put their hands in front of their face because it looks cool, forearms and fists are there to guard your face and head. When your throw big fuck off punches and don't put your guard back up like that you leave yourself wide open for a blow that will finish the whole fight." She demonstrated a proper guard again; showing me with her own taped up fists how to hold herself. "Now try again."
I threw another punch, a quick jab this time so I could pull it back to guard position faster. Artemis batted it aside easily and slapped me open handed upside the head. She rolled her eyes "I said don't overcommit not don't commit at all. You can't leave your guard down but you still have to actually hit me and do damage or there's not eve a point. Try again." I tried again, snapping out a jab and yanking it back as quick as I could. She nodded, her smile growing "Good, but use your body more, you're putting all the strain from on your shoulder, engage your back muscles, it's where the power comes from."
We spent about an hour on that. Artemis corrected my form, teaching me how to throw punches and keep my stance. I never managed to actually hit her, but she was pleased with my progress nonetheless. I was sore and dirty but I was grinning like an idiot. Artemis had a proud look on her face as she took in my disheveled appearance. "Not bad for your first day. I mean granted I learned this stuff when I was eight but hey, not everyone can be a winner." She flipped her ponytail over one shoulder in a show of faux haughtiness.
The thing was she wasn't even wrong. She had been kicking my ass for an hour, not even getting touched and dodging every single blow and she wasn't even winded. Not a single blonde hair out of place and she wasn't even breathing hard. She bit her lip, but I suppose in the end she decided since my muscles would be bulked up tomorrow anyway a bit more destruction wouldn't hurt. She nodded down to my legs "Do you know why lowering your body like that helps make you're footing more solid? I'm looking for a more general reason than the one I gave earlier."
I raised an eyebrow at that but I guessed what she meant. "Because bending my knees lowers my center of gravity?" She nodded at that. "The lower your center of gravity the more of your weight is focused close to the ground, makes it harder to get leverage to knock you over." This was basic physics but I could kind of sense what she was hoping to hear from her tone. I parroted back the info without hesitation, Artemis had more than earned her cred with me, if she thought I needed to learn something I would learn it.
She gave me that same approving smile "Exactly. But the center of gravity is more than just a place that you can tip someone over from. It's called that because it's where your weight sits, which means it's what you have to adjust your whole body around to maintain balance. You can see any move a person is going to make in their center of gravity if you know how to watch." Her voice was commanding and charismatic, clearly very familiar with the subject matter and confident in her knowledge.
Her eyes were boring right into mine as she spoke "If you want to move your arms, your legs, even your head you have to engage your center of gravity at least a little bit to do it. Some people say to watch your opponent's eyes to predict their next move. That's wrong. You watch their center of gravity. The movements may be subtle, but they'll be there. Here, try it." She took up the same stance she had me use and waited for me to get in position.
She threw a light jab. Like she had mentioned to throw that punch she used her shoulder and back and the motion showed in her core. Of course that meant nothing to me since I wasn't actually fast enough to react to that chain of movements but I could see what she was trying to teach me. She smiled and threw another jab, and I managed to turn and take this one on my forearm. Her lips curled up into a smirk "That wasn't terrible but you need a lot more practice to get it down. Even if you do learn martial arts with your power this is going to be useful to you. Back in position moneybags. We do it again until you get it right."
The next morning found me dragging myself out of bed sore and aching. Artemis and I had sparred for hours, she kept implying we were almost done and then pushing me just a bit further. Oddly looking back each of her exercises seemed to specifically involve certain muscles or skills that didn't overlap as much as I would have thought. In the moment I'd felt like I'd been using my whole body but I could feel the ache from each and every individual bit of training.
It was Sunday thankfully and I wasn't expected to go out or do anything. My mom was mostly a lapsed Catholic, not wanting to impose on me the same strictures she grew up with, so we didn't do church. I hadn't even seen her yesterday sadly, she'd been asleep when I got home. She left dinner out for me covered in foil with a cheerful note saying she was glad to see me out during my weekend instead of home at my computer.
She was gone again already for work today and I headed to my closet to drag out my muscle powder with a groan. I staggered into the kitchen and mixed it into some milk (which we were almost out of meaning tomorrow I'd have to use water which would probably taste even worse) and dragged my battered carcass to the bathroom. Taking off my shirt was extremely painful but I managed it and I sat in front of the mirror wincing.
Aside from the muscle pain and soreness I was surprisingly unharmed. Artemis had been pretty precise in how hard she was able to hit me and throw me around, not leaving a single bruise. When I asked about it she just gave me a brittle smile and told me she had lots of experience with harsh training that didn't leave marks on you. The look in her eyes made it clear that this was a sore subject so I moved on. I finally forced myself to choke down the chalky mess in the glass and stared at myself in the mirror.
My muscles expanded again, though didn't gain much definition this time, it seemed to mostly be a one or the other thing. One extremely happy side effect however is that larger muscles got larger by being healed, which mean even as I felt the warmth and power flow through me it washed away all my aches and pains like a refreshing spring rain. Once again I wasn't that much bigger, having thirty days of this to reach my final state, but still the accidental healing made this stuff a wonder drug even if it hadn't been making me stronger.
I walked cheerfully and easily back to the kitchen to wash my glass, whistling at the sudden lack of pain in my body as I headed back to my room and plopped down on my computer. I'd spent the rest of my night signing up for random forums and obscure fringe research sites to expand my potential power draw later on, but it was time for todays boost. As Artemis and I had discussed my first priority was some martial arts, so I decided to look for anything even remotely combat related.
Sadly about half of the spam in my folder was advertisements for sex sites or hot singles in my area, which while interesting to think about wasn't actually very helpful. Half of the remaining stuff was offers for loans, which I didn't need anymore and I had to scroll for about an hour before I finally started getting to some of the stuff that wes relevant. I was looking for something absurd.
Normal martial arts were great but plenty of people knew those my power was interesting because it made crazy fantastical claims a reality. I wanted to find some sort of ad for the ultimate martial art or a sure kill style. Sadly I found none of those, mostly just kung fu correspondence courses or krav maga instructional dvds. I stopped however when i spotted something...unique. Way of the ninja! Become a master of the unseen arts in only ten short lessons! Learn to walk in silence, enter even the most secure building undetected, vanish into the shadows, and counter even the most powerful foes with deadly martial arts skills. I grinned and clicked on the order button at the bottom of the ad, after which the thing promptly vanished as usual.
The normal wave of dizziness was a bit stronger this time, and I almost fell out of my chair. Apparently the more over the top the changes, the more my power drained from me in stamina and energy when I activated my ability. I would have to watch that, if I tried something too extreme I might kill myself. Unfortunately I didn't know what any of the actual factors the impacted energy draw was, so I could only resort to research. I took out a norebook to write down details of each use and try to find a pattern.
The door bell rang before I could start however and I grinned, bolting for the front and fumbling with the locks. As usual once I got it open the hall was empty except a single box, which I grabbed and carried inside. I set it down on my desk and forced myself to write my notes so I would have them for later before finally closing the notebook and staring down at the package. I tore the thing open and inside I found a DVD player.
Not a full sized one of course, but a small square personal DVD player. One of the little silver ones kids take on road trips to they can watch movies while their parents drive. Not that we'd ever been able to afford a road trip much less a DVD player but the point stood. Apparently my power adjusted for circumstances, since i didn't have a DVD player it came with one. It seemed oddly sentient at times, making sure I couldn't open the muscle powder except once a day and now this?
I shook that thought off with a promise to come back to it and opened the DVD player, pressing the on button. Trying to describe what happened after that thing turned on would be...difficult. The screen didn't exctly play a video, there were images to be sure, and sounds, but there was also context and nuance that shouldn't have been possible from simple film. I understood foundational principles and special techniques that shouldn't have made any sense at all. A tenth of a master's skill in ninjutsu was downloaded into my head. Not a real martial art either, this was some supernatural shit. Half of the things included in the course shouldn't have even really been possible. Now I understood why this particular use of my powers had made me so tired. My power had created an entire method of energy use.
My new skills didn't use chi or magic or anything though, they used something else, used the same energy source as my power did. I wasn't sure what the hell to call it, but I could feel my reserves now. They were mostly empty, but I could feel them refilling. I decided to use a base ten system for keeping track of the stuff. I had ten points of energy as my normal max. This little foray into martial arts badassery had cost me seven points, so I had three left. Judging by my first time using them I assumed that running out would render me unconscious.
I decided to consult my notes later and try to estimate the cost of the different uses of my power, maybe going forward I would be able to learn to manage it better. Plus, this would help me avoid that whole draining myself to death thing I came up with the notes idea to avoid. I sat down to flip through my notes and made some observations. First off as far as I could tell my power worked three ways. First was changing reality. Making that money appear and inserting that million dollars into circulation.
The first use was clearly taxing since it tapped me out and had me dropping like a rock after it happened. The second use was making items like the DVD player and the muscle powder. Based on the effect it had on me the muscle powder had taken about four points, since these items were only useful for a limited time or under specific conditions this seemed more economical in terms of energy. Finally, there was skills and abilities.
The skills and abilities I got through my power USED my power. I'd had visions in my head of super speed and laser vision from some of the more fringe mad science ads but it seemed like I would need to find a way to grow my pool of points to use those even if I could afford to get them. For now I decided to focus on what I did have. Not all of the ninja skills used points or course, only the supernatural seeming ones. I'd have to use my energy if I was vanishing into shadows and walking up walls and stuff.
Sadly my first lesson hadn't included everything. I'd learned to throw shuriken and caltrops with perfect efficiency and how to pack broken glass and black pepper into a small capsule so it would explode into a cloud of horrible pain when I needed to escape but the only supernatural ability I had picked up from this first session was the shadow hiding thing. Which while incredibly useful for avoiding detection was unfortunately a stationary skill the required patience and one point per every ten minutes.
While I had to estimate point values for uses of my power, the ninja skills seemed to have attached values included in the lessons so i could keep track of the power use better. I considered what I should do with rest of my day and decided that as with yesterday I would go and see Artemis. She would probably be psyched to see how my abilities worked in a more direct way. Plus even though I knew I didn't really have a shot with her I wanted to show off my new bigger muscles in front of a pretty girl.
When i knocked this time it took a bit longer for the door to open, and the person on the other side wasn't Artemis. There was a pretty older Asian woman in a wheelchair sitting on the other side of the door. She raised an eyebrow when she saw me, giving me a small smile. "Ah, well if it isn't little Morgan from downstairs. Artemis mentioned she'd was spending time with you yesterday. I admit I wasn't expecting to see you around. I assume you're her for my daughter?"
I gave an embarrassed smile and a nod and the woman laughed. "No need to be so timid boy, I know your mother in passing from Vinnie's bar. She's a wonderful woman and speaks very highly of you. I just never knew you and my Artemis were so close. I'll get her." She turned her head back towards the apartment and shouted "Artemis! Your friend is here!" She smirked at my now far too tight t-shirt. "I'd invite you in but I suspect you'd rather head up to the roof for some alone time."
I was strangely mortified by the comment but didn't have time to respond as Artemis stepped into view in a sports bra and a ponytail, wearing stretchy lycra bike shorts this time instead of the yoga pants. She rolled her eyes as she stepped past her mother and I tried very hard not to stare at all the exposed skin. She said something in a language I didn't speak and her mother responded in the same tongue with a snicker. She turned to me and shooed me out of the way so she could leave shutting the door behind her. "Sorry about that, she's not used to seeing me with other people, especially guys. Now what's up? Got something new to show me?"
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35258749?view_full_work=true