I had no idea what I was feeling at that moment. Everything was just so complicated, and I felt so cornered and helpless. There were things that I worked so hard to decide on. There were things that I wanted to tell him and things that I wanted to do but I couldn’t achieve any of those things and that made me feel so powerless and pitiful. I’m such a failure…
Somewhere along my journey with Hayden, I discovered that I had developed feelings for him. Without knowing when it started, I had fallen in love with him. It was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me. When I first met him, I didn’t dislike him enough to make me say that I hated him, but I was clearly scared of him and what he might do to me. From then on, everything that he did for me confused me. He was rough but he was kind. He punished me for everything just to tease me and I ended up feeding off of the pleasure that he fed to me.
