Chapter 1. "Crying"

O L I V I A

I'm drenched.

My body is numb, the left side of my face hurts and I feel heaviness in one of my eyebrows, I am almost sure that it is broken judging by the burning in the area. The torrential rain falls on me, increasing the discomfort I feel, but despite all the pain, nothing compares to how broken I feel inside. My heart has been shrinking and breaking for a long time, but now, after what happened a few hours ago, it's completely shattered.

I find myself standing on a corner sidewalk in Central Park, soaking wet, waiting for lightning to strike me, for me to drown in tears and/or raindrops, or for someone to run me over. My mind decided to go on vacation early, because it seems that the coherent thoughts escaped from me since apparently it is more interesting to see how the rain drags the garbage down the streets, than to worry about what the hell I will do with my life from now on. ahead.

Part of my sanity returns to me. I go into the park and walk towards a bench that is under the trees. I sit down and a vague memory of my mother telling me that it is not correct to stand under the trees when it rains, because they attract lightning, floods me. My eyes fill with tears again when I remember my mother, her warm smile, her soft and melodic voice, the eyes that transmitted tenderness and love, she was my everything, but life decided to take her away from me, leaving me with nothing and everything for him. damn cancer.

Since I was seventeen years old, when we found out about his illness, I have done everything to get us ahead, and when I say everything, it means literally everything. I'm not tempting my heart to do something just to give it to her. His suffering is also mine. Regardless of what you may believe, she is not physically dead, she is inside. It is not the same. She doesn't even speak to me well anymore, she looks straight ahead all the time and always cries, there are times she even denies me entry to her room in the shelter and she doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to yelling at me that I'm no good at all, that I don't I get it.

But it does not matter. Nothing matters anymore.

My plans fell apart, and all because of the fucking guys who robbed the bank earlier.

I left the house this morning with all the attitude, ready to do my daily routine. I arrived at the bank quite happy, transmitting good vibes to people. I greeted my colleagues, got dressed and went to arrange the paperwork from the previous night's paperwork. Suddenly my head began to hurt and a few minutes later the sound of gunshots alerted me. Drake, the manager of the area I was in, came in yelling that they needed me.

I was the only person present at that time who had the key to the safe, I was one of those in charge of having it because Mr. Harris only trusted me and a few others to give it to us. Apparently a group of hooded men had broken into the establishment and the only thing they wanted was the money contained in the safe but curiously not the cellar and boxes.

I thought about being the usual motherfucker and running away, but for the first time in my life, I decided to be good and kind, like most stupid and weak people. I went out and before heading to the main and public entrance, I pressed the emergency button that was under the light switch, the button was linked to the authorities and the moment it is pressed, an alarm alerts the officers. I took a few seconds to take a deep breath and calm down and now yes, I went to the entrance. When I arrived a man whose hazel eyes were all I could see forced me to put the key into the security panel on the box, I reluctantly put it in and thought things would end there but to my surprise, raised the gun he was holding and the intention to hit me with it was clear on his face but at the last minute, he did it with his open palm. Thanks chuchito, otherwise I would have a very big wound.

The criminals managed to flee before the police arrived.

I let out a cry of exasperation loud enough to make my throat burn, I take repeated breaths with the intention of calming down and it seems to work as my body begins to relax. I get up from the benches and stagger trying to balance myself, succeeding on the spot.

Nothing happens, nothing happens.

I repeat myself so as not to keep getting upset.

I walk again, back to where I started my meltdown, tapping my foot on the concrete sidewalk and sighing.

Since I've calmed down, reality just hit me hard. My whole body aches from the numbness that covers me, my head throbs a little from the impact of the thick drops on it, my eyes burn and my throat itches and feels drier than ever. That's what happens when you let your emotions consume you. That's why it's not good to feel.

I move forward and begin to cross the street to look for a motel where I can stay while I rub my poor fingers that I don't feel, in search of warming them, I have my eyes on them so I don't realize that I didn't look to the sides before crossing, I tilt head when listening to tires skid on the wet floor. I snap my eyes shut as blinding white light hits me, hold for a few seconds until the slight stinging wears off, and open my eyes only to squint. I can see more clearly and realize that the cruel light came from the two headlights of a car. I walk without caring about the water soaking me and I approach the driver's window.

I knock repeatedly until the person on the other side lowers it. In the act I run into green eyes that look at me with fury in them, while the white face remains serious. If it weren't for what his irises tell me, I'd swear he's calm.

I don't know what the hell to say so he blurts out the first thing that comes to my mind:

"You almost ran me over, asshole."

The man frowns and replies:

"What do you say?" he shouts over the noise of the rain hitting the concrete of the street.

"You almost ran me over!" I raise my voice hoping that this time he will hear me.

He doesn't, as he moves closer to the window, tilting his face to put his ear at my level.

It exasperates me, I lean even more and drop it:

"I SAID YOU ALMOST HIT ME!" He walks away quickly and shoots me a pointed look.

Unexpectedly he yells at me to get closer, which I do, and he opens the door with impressive speed and then leaves. I open my mouth in surprise when he grabs my arms tightly, but without hurting me, he turns me around and presses me against the door to close it with my body. I let out a soft moan. I look at his face and I see his features soften as soon as he notices my, surely, frightened expression. His black hair sticks to his forehead from the water and he doesn't seem to care.

I open my mouth to speak but the words just don't come out, luckily he does.

"What are you doing here at this hour?"

Okay, his closeness is getting to me. I blink continuously and speak without thinking:

"Here where?" He first looks at me as if a unicorn had spewed a rainbow in my face and then lets out a meaningless laugh.

"Where will it be here? Well here on the street in the rain." I stare at him, without even blinking voluntarily, because the rain forces me to close my eyes from time to time just like him.

I decide that I've already been through so much shit in life, that one more won't hurt, especially considering that this one will probably be pleasurable, so I take a deep breath and say what's on my mind:

"I don't have a place to stay," I confess.

He erases his frown and sighs.

"You have money?" he asks as he lets go of me and takes a step back. I hope I don't reflect the relief that floods me at his act.

"Yes" I answer honestly.

"Do you want me to take you to a hotel or any place you want?" He runs a hand over his face, trying to move the water away from it, and I keep closing my eyes from time to time to prevent the water from getting into them.

"If you did, you would be part of the VIP list of my life" I smiled at him, or at least I tried to.

"Fine."

He takes my hand and gives me a slight tug, pulling me away from his car door. Later he opens it and mounts it closing the door in my face. I blink stupidly.

The window is still open so he turns to me as he starts the car.

"Are you planning to stay there or are you going to get up so I can take you?" He raises an eyebrow when I don't reply.

Without saying a word, I walk around the car and open the passenger door to get in and sit on the leather seat. I close the door and I don't know why I feel as if with that act I was closing a stage of my life and opening a new one. It's creepy in a way and it seems to be equal parts scary and exciting.

Roll up the window, turn on the interior light and turn on the heating. He turns to the backseat and reaches for something, when he sits up and settles into his seat he hands me a black jacket.

"Take it" I grab it "Put it on" he limited his offer.

Before starting the car he hands me a box of tissues and my cheeks flush as I reach for it and he pushes it away, then brings it back to me. The same thing happens a couple of times until I look into his eyes trying to figure out what he wants, he looks back at me and I notice the exasperation in it, he shakes the hand that holds the tissues, as a sign that I should hurry up and there is where I get it. He doesn't want me to take the whole box. I frown but end up pulling only one out of the small opening.

I have a defining moment where I try to figure out what the hell he offered me the part for, because I have a little feeling it wasn't exactly to blow my nose. I reach to the right to see myself in the small mirror and my mouth drops open as I stare at my reflection:

My mascara is smudged under my eyes, my lips are bare of paint, just surface smudges, and internally I curse the mall hostess for convincing me to buy a matte purple lipstick and me for deciding to wear it this morning and then touch it up when I expected per the directions of Mr. Davis. I almost want to groan when I see my red, swollen nose, not to mention my eyes that are on the same page.

Well, now the tissues makes sense. I rub it over my face, scrubbing away all the smeared makeup, except for my lips. When the paper reflects too many colorful spots and it is no longer feasible to continue passing it on, I hold it in my hand and lean towards the mirror again, I don't think it was such a good idea, the mascara did take off a little, the problem is in my cheeks, it just seems like I spread it everywhere and now my face is a pink mess.

The green-eyed must notice because he grabs the tissues from the counter and extends them to me again, this time I take out two and look at his face to see his expression, it doesn't reflect anything, I relax against the seat.

Silence reigns in the place and I don't like it to be uncomfortable. and ok, I must admit that at first my plan was to seduce him into taking me to his apartment, and if I was lucky we could end up doing something fun, but in the end he offered just like that and I accept that I was taken by surprise by his kindness and empathy towards the poor crazy woman who was walking down the street, in the middle of a rain that could well end in a catastrophic event like that of Noah and his are at the flood. I thought that people who were so supportive - or stupid, as you prefer to see it - no longer existed.

I swallow saliva. The car inside is nice but it has something that makes me mistrust, I don't know if it's the skull print in the upper right part of the rearview mirror, or the elmo doll with a black eye patch sitting on the donkey. I don't have to be afraid of the red teddy because Come on! It's elmo, your best friend Elmo, or even if you think about it, Elmo knows where you live.

I grew up for six years of my life having a good childhood, until my father abandoned me and my mother, she entered into a pattern of depression in which she has been for more than fourteen years and in which from time to time she manages to get out and return to reality. Everything got worse last year, when she was diagnosed with liver cancer, I think that's the only reason why she hasn't died yet. Since she's been in that position, I've had to deal with it on my own, with the help of certain relatives, of course, but on the mother's side it was as if I were the mother instead of her.

That got me to where I am now, or at least to where I was a few hours ago, before the heist. I start when a hand touches my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hears! I'm talking to you" I turn around and the green-eyed man is looking at me with a frown.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I ask him.

" Where am I going to take you?" He reformulates what he was telling me, or so I think, because he gives me the slight impression that he had previously told me something else.

"A hotel would be nice," I mention, and look back to the front as we set off.

I turn to the window and see that the rain has lightened with difficulty and only a light rain remains. The heat from the heater has already completely filled me, so I sink into the seat, trying to catch even more of that warmth emanating from the car. I rub my hands together to warm them up and I decide to watch the landscape of the trees in the park blur as we go.

I am definitely crazy. I mean, how did I even think it was a good idea to climb into the car of a strange man who cornered me against the door and gave me unfriendly looks without even knowing me? I definitely need help.

***

I have no idea when I fell asleep, I guess the water that got me wet next to the heater worked like a lullaby for me, but I wake up as soon as the green-eyed wiggles my arm.

"We're here, wake up." I open my eyes slowly and blink trying to locate myself. When I open my eyes completely and stand up, I manage to see a seedy building in front of me, apparently it's my... hotel.

"Here it is?" I ask doubtfully.

"Yes, I didn't know what your budget was so I preferred to bring you a cheap one than to go to an expensive place and then make a fool of ourselves by returning to us." he looks away from the front and looks at me "I think it's time for you to get off" he smiles.

"Oh, yes, yes, excuse me" I open the door and go out.

I am about to close when I remember that I have his jacket on so I quickly try to take it off to give it to him but he goes ahead of me by raising his hand as a sign to stop, I listen to him

"Keep it, it's freezing cold and we don't want you to catch a cold, right?" I nod dumbly, closing the door as I say thank you.

I walk towards the entrance of the building and at the last moment I turn to find him in the same place, without having moved and only with the window down. I shake my hand goodbye and he shakes it back, still smiling, I turn around and I don't think I'm imagining what comes out of his lips:

"See you later, Olivia." I freeze and turn around but the car is already moving down the street. I never told him my name, and there's no way he found out so soon.

I stand there, weighing any possibility as to why he knows it, but nothing coherent comes to mind. I look down at my black jacket, which is part of my uniform, and I laugh when I see the laminated badge with my name on it, he must have seen it and that's why he knew it and I'm here like a fool breaking my head.

I sigh theatrically and look up to see the grimy yellow three-story building looming above me. "Company Motion" seems to be its name, judging by the white electrical sign with the black letters, which seems to be about to fall and some of its letters no longer light up. I hug myself and go inside.

A smell of peppermint air freshener hits me and I'd sneeze because of how irritating it is, if it wasn't for the fact that a girl sees me on the other side of a counter, so I hold back the urge to not look bad. I walk there and smiled at the pink-haired girl who greets me with a face of few friends.

"Good evening, welcome to Company Motion. I'm Gabriella and it's a pleasure to have you here" she speaks in a monotonous voice and doesn't even bother to feign friendliness.

"Hello, what is the cheapest room you have?"

"he individual of twelve dollars for twenty-four hours" She checks a notebook she has and nods confirming

I open my jacket and put my hand under the white shirt to get my wallet out of my bra, I succeed and open the zipper to get the money and count how much I have: It's two hundred dollars in total. I smile smugly. It's more than enough for about two days, while Danna returns from her honeymoon in Dubai and puts me up at her house for as long as I need to know what I'm going to do to get ahead, now that I have nothing. I look up and smile at the pink girl

"l'll take it."

***

I put the key in the rusty metal lock and take a look at the corridor, it's bright red and too stained with dirt, even in the corners there is a little mold. I return my eyes to the action I am doing and turn the knob to open the door, I am forced to give the door a push when it does not open, when it finishes opening a gust of dust falls on me and makes me cough. I look inside and admit it's not too bad, compared to the life I led before I met Mr. Davis, it's a pretty homey place, but if the comparison was made to the life I led with the Davises, this is a shithole.

I sigh and go inside. It has everything you need or so I think. There is a small bed, with some yellowish sheets but a bed after all, an old wooden cabinet that I am afraid to open for the mere fact that it seems that the ends are chewed, as if they had begun to eat it.

The place is spacious, yes, but I admit that it causes me conflict to walk around there, I mean, everything looks like a room from a horror movie, you know, the kind in which the protagonist for some reason ends up needing to stay in a hotel that he was on his way to his destination, a place too neglected and seedy, mysteriously at night he wakes up by incessant noises and Bam! A killer knocks on your door.

Admit that you have seen a movie or series in which something like this happened or at least you had to have imagined it a couple of times. And you'll excuse me, but I'm not going to stay awake in case my fear comes true, so without thinking I head to bed without even glancing at the only door in the room, which I assume leads to the bath.

I don't lift the sheets, I just lie on my stomach ready to go to sleep but I end up turning over because an unpleasant smell, similar to that of urine, fills my nostrils making me have to rub my hand over the sudden itching in the place. I sigh for the thousandth time in the day and I suppose that the fact of having walked aimlessly for hours, adding the crying and the rain, ended with my energies since my eyes weigh me down and little by little my eyelids are closing, to finish Falling into the arms of Morpheus Not without first taking off my badge and placing it on a small table next to it.

***

My head is hot, it burns a little bit, I think that is the reason why I am waking up, I blink continuously trying to adapt to the light that hits my eyes, when I manage to stabilize myself I snap them open and I am forced to close them again, because the incessant sun does not allow me to keep them that way. Groaning I put my arm around them and roll to the other side of the bed where the light doesn't reflect as much. I stay that way for a few seconds until I feel ready to walk away from the comfort of being in the haze of sleep. I open my eyes and look to where the light is coming from, it seems that the curtains are open giving way to the fucking sun. I get up sulking and walk to the door that I didn't feel able to open the night before, I open it and it is indeed a bathroom.

I weigh the idea of ​​turning around while holding my nose and running away from this disgusting place, I confirm my suspicions and reaffirm that the price is a bit high for what this room should really cost, from here I notice that the toilet is yellowish to the Like the sink, it has a shower with only cold water, as the reception girl mentioned the day before, and the smell of the place is the worst, I don't know if it smells like fish or a dead dog.

Stupid green-eyed man, how did he come up with the idea of ​​bringing me to this disgusting place? Obviously it's not his fault, on the contrary, I should thank him for helping the walking witch he ran into at dawn, but in my mind I cling to everything that I can blame for my misfortunes, I need to get all of it out of my mind. the frustration above and if the only way is by unleashing it on the kind man of yesterday, then such a thought is welcome.

I take a step back and take a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs with clean air and at the same time confirming that I can enter. I do. I go to the sink and open one of the faucets, the water that flows is very little so I also open the other one, put my hands in and cup the water to later splash it on my face several times. I loosen the undone bun and moisten part of my hair, when I run my hands through it I'm shocked because it's terribly tangled, it's a whole mess of knots. I close the keys and get out quickly for fear of drowning in there.

I go through the room and my desire to run out of the place increases and this time if I do, I go out into the hall and I rush to close the door, I put my hand back in my bra and take out the key they gave me, I'm going to the stairs, and I'm glad I'm on the second floor, because that way my bruised feet don't need to go down any more floors.

Arriving downstairs, I glance at the counter and the same girl from yesterday is there, except this time a man with dirty blonde hair is accompanying her. The pink-haired girl must feel my gaze as she raises hers and her eyes meet mine, I raise my hand in a greeting and she just looks at me, the blond turns to see her and then directs his eyes where she is looking: towards me. Unlike the girl, he smiles at me and raises his hand to greet me, I realize that I still have mine raised so I put it down totally embarrassed and hide it behind me. I stumble out of the building and stand on the sidewalk trying to get the heat out of my cheeks.

I scan the neglected street, the passing cars, the old man on the corner with his hand outstretched waiting for money, the garbage piled on a pole, the tattoo shop with a neon sign, and the curtain below what promises to be a fast and delicious food restaurant.

I inhale deeply because I realize that a new day has already begun and I still don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

***