"This is not me." I think as I continue dabbing my face. I hate how I look at the moment, it seems like I have aged a million years just overnight. I move to wash my hands which makes me stagger a little bit.
Holding the sink, my voice screams to me, 'hard, hard,' and it is true I am doing it with so much force you may think my life depends on it.
I stare at the person standing opposite to me and talk myself out of hitting my head in the mirror. There is a dark shade under my eyes which are saggy, someone may think I didn't sleep a wink. And maybe they might be right, I don't think I slept.
I hate this. I hate this.
"Brenda, relax. Breathe in, out." I tell myself and do the exact opposite. I hold my breath as I stare at myself and when I feel like the air capacity has finished in my lungs, I inhale a large amount of air.
This makes me cough uncontrollably, and by the time I am done coughing I find myself smiling at how stupid that was of me.
