"My lady?" Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Her body was shaking as she approached Astrid with the child still in her arms. Even the child was looking at her with such a confused expression plastered on her small, yet round face. "You're back? Is it true — my God. I thought you were gone…"
She may be wearing a fancy black dress, but when Milly Brown cried for her, she felt as if she's still imprisoned. Chained. Someone who is pitiful. And she never wanted to appear as someone who is pitiful, someone who needs help. She wanted to be strong in Milly's eyes. For this person was the only one who cared for her genuinely when she married a demon. And yet…
"I am back indeed, Milly Brown." Astrid smiled and yet her eyes displayed otherwise. "But you no longer need to call me the lady of this house. Because I am not."
Milly Brown's face darkened, understanding what Astrid meant. Every worker, carer and employee who used to work inside this humongous mansion still remembered what happened six years ago.
It scored deeply in their hearts. And the pain made the middle aged woman sob silently, wishing something had happened differently. Wishing that the life of the beautiful woman in front of her wasn't so dark and grim.
"Despite what had happened in the past, you will always be my precious Lady." Her voice broke as she spoke. "Nothing will change that."
Oh how Milly Brown's tears rendered such bitterness and anger in Astrid's heart. She bit her blood red lips. But what she didn't expect was the compassion and love that came from Milly Brown. A woman who is not blood related to her. And yet, Milly shed a tear for her and loved her even though she disappeared for so many years.
"Nana Milly, who is the pretty lady?"
Astrid looked at the little girl who was pointing at her. She can't help but stare at those eyes of hers. So bright and blue. She looked more and more beautiful and charming. Her eyes were soft yet deep eyes sat on her delicate and soft looking skin. Astrid also stared at her plump pinkish lips.
"Nana —" The little girl spoke again. " —I asked you a question. Who is she?" Was the little girl's hasty question. Her little chubby fingers grabbed the hem of Milly Brown's shirt, tugged and pulled on it, rowing and making the middle aged woman sway. She tried to fight off the little girl's childishness by staying still.
As the child asked again and again, almost at the point of throwing tantrums, Milly Brown remained silent and refused to speak. For she knew who Astrid Starling was to this child even if the master of this house kept the little girl's identity as a secret.
And seeing the look in Astrid's eyes, it's obvious that she knows it too.
However, a part of her. A deep voice situated on the back of her mind did not want to accept the truth.
"Acashia, darling, she is..."
Hearing that Milly Brown was about to reveal who she was, Astrid Starling spoke before the middle aged woman could spill the truth. "Ms. Milly." She spoke with a smile, yet her voice was tense. "I.. I'm just visiting here."
"My lady."
Milly Brown was obviously disappointed, especially when Astrid forced herself to smile.
She was aching to hold the child in her arms. To reach and touch and caress her face. To feel her warm and porcelain like skin. But the demons inside her head were playing with her emotions, messing her up until she saw herself as less than human.
Someone who doesn't deserve love.
Astrid could only bite and chew on her lower lip as she craved for something she couldn't have. For what is right to stain such beauty? Such innocence when she's nothing but a monster. In the end she just shrank back, bent down slightly and smiled at the little girl.
"Thank you, but you're the beautiful one, my dear."
"What are you saying?" Was Acashia's question as she looked at the pretty, yet odd lady who was wearing a black dress. "You're so pretty! And you have so many scars on your body —"
"My lady!" Milly Brown's face flushed in embarrassment. "Don't say that!"
" —but it's true, Nana! She looks like a pretty but dark princess!"
"Nothing is beautiful about me, my sweet girl." Astrid leaned closer to Acashia and whispered. "To tell you the truth, I'm a little crazy. I was a criminal a day ago you see and I had only been set free." Her finger dabbed against Acashia's nose, making the little girl laugh. "Don't be like me."
But what she wanted to tell the child was to never marry someone like her father. Lest she be damned and be driven to the brink of insanity like her.
And just when Astrid thought the conversation was over, Acashia asked, "What do you mean by don't be like you?"
Astrid let out an awkward laugh, yet it was so loud that her shoulders shook. "You are too young to understand."
"I am not!"
Milly Brown sighed. "Forgive her, My Lady. Her father spoiled her to the bone, you see."
"It's fine." Astrid answered. "What I mean to say, little girl… is to never fall in love with the wrong person."
The girl laughed silly. "What? Why?"
"Because you'll turn into a psycho." Astrid said with a wink.
Before the conversation leads to anything else, Astrid straightens her back when a cold, cold chill runs down her spine. She knows that presence anywhere, even if he was standing a few feet away from her.
It's none other than Matthew Cullen.
"Move." A guard who towered a foot and a half taller than Astrid pushed the limping woman out of the way. "You're in the way!"
The brute-ish bodyguard ran out of patience and pushed Astrid out of the way. She backed off a few steps and almost lost her balance. She lowered her gaze, not wanting to draw attention to herself.
"I… I'm going in." She whispered then began to make her way towards the mansion.
But just when she's about a few steps away from the stairs of the humongous mansion, Acashia's euphonious voice reached her ears. "You are wrong, miss!" She screamed. "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! You're so pretty! Very pretty, just like my mommy! Although I haven't seen my Mommy, I know that she must be the most beautiful person in the world! Just like you!"
Blood rose on her cheeks, making her feel warm instantaneously. Acashia's words rushed to her mind, making her feel a different kind of high. The word 'beautiful' was something she hadn't heard in a while.
She was 'the shithead', 'the lame' and the 'nobody' and 'S.P.' inside the walls of John George's Psychiatric Hospital.
Astrid Starling blinked a few times as her left hand unconsciously traveled up to her cheek, feeling her warm skin against the palm of her hand.
She felt a strong urge in her blood and bones to run towards the girl. "What…"
If only she could, she would go to the little girl and give her the biggest hug.
If only her legs could walk, if only it wasn't painful. Little by little, step by step, one foot after the other, Astrid could imagine herself running towards the little girl. She could imagine how she'd steal her away from Milly Brown's arms and hug her tight as if Acashia's little body was her lifeline.
But she could feel Aero's eyes shooting lasers on her back. Not only that but the guards were looking at her as well. Studying her movements, analyzing if she was a threat or not. If she was truly the maniac as the court had depicted her.
Her will and her aching need to hold Acashia in her arms was suppressed by her sins.
'Sorry…'
'I'm really sorry, little Acashia…'
"Astrid Starling!"
The guard's voice made her yelp and jump in place. "Ye — yes? What?!"
"The boss is waiting for you. He's on the second floor. Turn right on the farthest isle, he's on the room with the black and gold doorknob."
Astrid nodded her head slightly, not wanting to show the dark shade of her personality to the little girl. "Alright."
=============
The guard named Randolph said he was not allowed to escort Astrid. For they could only go up to the second floor if the master of the house permits them.
This time, they were ordered to escort Astrid Starling to the first step of the marbled floor of the stairs. With that, she had no choice but to limp up to the tall stairs that had 30 steps.
"That fucking ass still loves to fuck with people." She hissed after taking the last step. Her legs and thighs were on fire. There were no stairs of this caliber in the dark, damp and stinky room she stayed in for years after all.
When she finally reached the second floor, the whole floor was matted with a black cashmere rug. If she could describe it, the rug looks cozy, homey… but mostly, it looks expensive. Astrid was wearing bedazzled doll shoes, and as she stepped on the rug, she wished she didn't step on dirt, mud or feces.
She didn't know the reason why Matthew Cullen used his connections to get rid of her criminal records, take her out of the Psychiatric Hospital, but she had this sense that whatever his reason was… it would never be for the greater good.
"Whatever…" She said to herself as she shook her head. "Let's get this over with."
Astrid followed the instruction of the guard, now she was standing in front of the door with a black and gold knob. She wrapped her fingers around the cold metal and turned, pushing the door and entered with wide eyes.
As she entered the room, the scent of expensive and finely aged red wine invaded her senses.
It smelled intoxicating, but not only that, the room smells like an expensive and high maintenance bastard was the owner and inhibitor of this room.
And she was right.
On the farthest side of the room, seated Matthew Cullen. He was sitting on a luxurious armchair. It's a vintage sofa made by a company called Alderly and Co. And its beauty was aligned with its price. It costs $1768 dollars.
'A chair fit for a rich bastard who likes to look down at windows and judge people from afar.'
The afterglow of the setting sun fell on him, and the orange light became cold because of him.
"You sure have guts to look me in the eye without shuddering, Astrid Starling."
What Aero said was true, Astrid had always known what she wanted to say. And she says it with all the confidence in the world. "If you have something, just say it."