Jui Maruko was a fourteen-year-old transgender boy. He lived in Andong, a small but inviting village. His parents owned a family restaurant which had been around for generations. Even though his parents were supportive of his identity, Jui was told not to identify as a male outside of his home. His father was a proud and revered members of the community and did not want Jui to ruin their family's reputation.
So, even though it hurt, Jui agreed, and in return he and his father would play videogames after school. Jui's father loved playing Pac-Man as a child in the local arcade and he wanted to share his love of gaming with his son. When the lights to the restaurant were switched off and the last trash bags were thrown away, Jui and his father would game and bonded over the beauty, strategy, and development of their favorite titles. Videogames soon became the way Jui began to cope with his identity because every second he had a joystick in his hand, he forgot the struggles of everyday life.
Throughout school, Jui continued to sit through class and identify as female. However, one day Jui was not invited to a classmate's party because they said it was for boys only. Jui had waited eagerly for days to attend Ha-eun Kim's party because he was expecting to get the new handheld Intiendo! Jui's parents were unable to spend such a lavish amount on the new device, but it was the first of its kind! Jui almost salivated over the tv-ads and stood for hours at a local shop watching new and exciting fighting games that he desperately wanted to try. So, why was he being excluded from something so amazing for a gender he was not?!
"I'm not a girl, I'm a boy." Jui told Ha-eun proudly. "So, can I come to your birthday now?"
Jui was made to regret that statement ever since.
Not only did he get mocked by his peers, but the second he got home, the news of the confused girl, Jui, spread around town. Jui ended up being the laughingstock of the neighborhood, but he didn't understand why. He didn't understand why he was beaten by Ha-eun after school or why he was spit on by the arcade owner. Even when his father wanted to yell at him, he couldn't overlook the trauma that his son had endured. That's when he realized he had been asking too much of Jui.
So, Jui's father took his savings and researched top-surgery and hormones for Jui. It was something Jui wanted very badly, but he was opposed to defacing his public image. Now that Jui came home confused and bloodied, he couldn't stand to continue to deface his son in his own home.
The news alone made Jui happy. He was excited to show the town that he was indeed a male. He wanted nothing more than to be accepted for who he was, and his father helped him get there. But, when the day came to have surgery, his father had to stay back to tend to the restaurant. Their business was failing and since Jui's reveal, no one came. Yet, his father stood strong amidst it all.
Jui's mother flew with him abroad to have surgery. With his family's consent, he had been on T for six months and felt more and more like he was himself. So, the second he sat on the surgery table at 14, he was unafraid. He was proud to be his father's son and he was eager to give his thanks when he awoke.
But, when Jui opened his eyes, a furrow of hunger and excitement taking over his body, he instead saw his mother in tears. Did something happen?! Did someone die?! He did not know, but when he questioned her appearance, she told him that they had to close the restaurant. Jui's father was beside himself when he made the decision and due to his own future in the village of his ancestors, he blamed Jui.
Jui did not understand. Why was he supportive? Why did he pay for him to have surgery? Why did he call me his son if he hated who he was?!
He didn't believe it…he couldn't, but when they returned to their home, their belongings were outside. Jui's father did not answer, nor did he come to greet them, and with a heavy heart they left to a small family cabin on the outskirts of the town. Jui continued to visit his home to try and speak with his father. Every day Jui's father never came to the door, but Jui would sit and wait until his mother had to pry him from the doorstep. Jui even wrote to his father to no avail, and after he exhausted his tears, he realized their relationship was gone. His dad abandoned him…blamed him for ruining the business and for making him an outsider in his own town.
At this time, Jui did not have videogames to expel his despair and he sunk into a deep depression. He refused to eat, he did not sleep, he continued to blame himself for everything that had happened and that was too much on his mother's heart. So, she decided to move. They didn't have much money, but she had the skills to work in a restaurant and the city had plenty of those. But most of all, she wanted Jui to smile again. She wanted him to be a child again, to dream and grow and explore the life around him. He couldn't do that in Andong, but he could try to do that in Busan.
With her mind made up, on May 5 she and Jui left their hometown. His mother smiled at him, and he weakly returned it. He was sad to leave…even more unhappy about the circumstances in which they had to go. But as he looked out the bus window as it drove away from their home, he watched and wondered. Because a new life meant a new start…but happiness seemed so far out of reach.