Unfortunately, I didn't die. He didn't kill me. Not yet.
"Megaria De Algar Astral, did your little escape make you lose the ability to talk?"
I gulped. Why is he handsome and annoying at the same time? His black hair and blue eyes really mixed well together, his long-pointed nose makes me want to pinch it until he's out of breath, and his perfectly heart-shaped jawline is irresistible. No wonder ladies go crazy for him, Kayden is the perfect definition of a package deal. Does he not like women? Is his preference different? Not that it matters though. But my bet is still on Raphael. Why? Because I can handle Raphael's presence, but this guy…
"Should I open your mouth and pull your tongue out to check if you can still scream when I cut that little tongue of yours?"
… Yup, I can't handle this walking bomb. I stared at his face and was met with his murderous glare, I could only sigh inwardly. Kayden should make good use of his looks but what good is a face when you're attitude is that of a dirty bin? That anger issue of his will be the death of him. I'm feeling tired for him but the person doesn't seem to be affected. He probably got immune to carrying his childhood trauma for twenty-two years.
"MEGARIA!"
"YES SIR!"
Oh crap. I flinched as he screamed and before I could stop my mouth, I answered stupidly. What am I, a soldier? I'm a noble for Christ's sake! I unconsciously blurt out one of my habits in my past life.
His outbursts are a pain in the ass. I quickly scanned my eyes to the surroundings just to check if there were people in the vicinity, luckily, Kayden dragged me into a perfectly isolated alley.
"You never listen! We perfectly told you to stay put and not do anything to tarnish the family name! I believe you're not stupid enough to not understand Father's orders for you are an educated lady."
I could only stare at the ground. Where was I supposed to look? At his face? No, thank you. My hatred for him might subside if I look into this man's face. Truly, God has his favorites.
"You think I wouldn't notice your shabby escape? I thought I should follow you and see what you have gotten yourself into. I can't believe I found you outside a pub. A pub, Meg! A pub!"
This jerk sounds like a kid nagging his parents because they won't give him popcorn.
"Ha! I can't believe this. Why are you still alive if you can't even heed Father's orders?"
My hands which were busy scratching each other behind my back, stopped.
"You shouldn't be here right now. I wonder how in the world are you even breathing."
I grinned.
"I wonder."
I wonder what I am doing here, why am I here, how the hell I ended up here, where should I go, and when should I die. I should've been dead. I'm supposed to receive my eternal rest, away from the world, away from people, away from everything.
Thinking about it infuriates me. Why should I suffer? What did I do to suffer like this? If god granted me the privilege to live again, he should've erased my memories. If this was his gift, this is no worse than lying in dog poop.
I inhaled sharply and bowed my head. At this point, I'm so close to slaughtering everyone that irritates me.
I need rest.
"Forgive me for my discourtesy and for causing you trouble. I vow to never make a mistake ever again."
I raised my back and smiled as sweetly as I could. He flinched. Not that I care if my smile gives him nightmares, sweetness was never my cup of tea.
"Should we head to the Duchy? I am a bit tired and in a state of mess."
He scanned me from head to toe, really, this prick is making me wait. I exhaled a breath to calm my rage and smiled, once again, as gently as I could. I was about to speak when he beat me to it.
"Why is there blood in your clothes?"
I raised my brow and glanced at the part he was staring at. Oh, I forgot that I was wounded on my right shoulder and my leg. My leg was flowing with droplets of blood, I must've exerted myself while running away from the room where I had my feast. Come to think of it, it doesn't sting.
Have I become accustomed to wounds and blood that these little things don't seem to faze my being?
"This is nothing."
Truly, it really was nothing but a scratch, probably a bit deep on my leg but who cares?
"Should we head home?"
I really need to rest; I feel so drained with all the things happening in one day. Besides, it is getting darker and darker, and there are no more people passing by on the streets anymore.
"I am asking you nicely, Megaria."
I could feel my smile twitching just by hearing this persistent prick.
"Your worry is for naught. As I said, this is nothing."
"You haven't answered my question."
"Like I said, this is not life-threatening."
"Megaria, what ha---"
"This has nothing to do with you, for I do not need your empty concern. This will not stain the Duchy, so it will do us good to head home right now before people recognize you. What a scandal it would be to find the young Captain of the Astral Knights to be seen with a woman whose appearance is worse than that of a dog in an isolated black alley."
Kayden is not the only one with anger issues here, I, Nicole, also exist. I guess my attitude remains intact even after acquiring Megaria's body. My eyes drifted to the man in front, which, is a wrong move to do.
Why are you making such a face?
My mind was blank, and I only had that one question in mind.
"… let's go."
Out of nowhere, a knight appeared as soon he raised his hand. It seems like he had his men on standby.
"Carriage."
The knight quickly disappeared into the street and with only a second, an ordinary carriage met my view. He must've found it bothersome to receive attention for he didn't take the Duchy's carriage.
The knight opened the door and I immediately went in, ignoring the offered hand of Kayden. I seated myself and gazed at the window. I could feel him sitting beside me and the carriage took off.
The ride home was deafening but I couldn't care less. I could only remember Kayden's face from earlier. Why?
Why do such emotions appear on such a face?
No matter how hard I thought about it, no answer came up.
This was the first time I talked with Kayden, all we had were brief encounters and all I could feel from those fleeting moments were his hostility and the urge to kill someone. He never spoke neither did he spared me a glance. This was the first that he stared at me and uttered such words. His outbursts were to be expected but why…
Why were you showing a pained face, Kayden?
***************
I instantly dived into my bed as soon as I entered my room, glad that I could finally take a rest. I glanced at the clock and it was already four in the morning. I spent three hours in the inn, as surprising as it is, it seems the empire's people don't know sleep. I lay upfront and stared at the ceiling.
Kayden never uttered another word even after arriving at the Duchy. I quickly yanked open the door as soon as the carriage halted, I never got the chance to look at his face again.
But, why?
For the whole time, I've been thinking of his expression while bearing the sharp pain in my head. Kayden never cared for Megaria. He treated her like she never existed. He would just scowl at her every time their paths crossed. But never did he utter a single word to her.
I unknowingly touched my chest, for some reason, it's aching every time I think of Meg's dilemmas. Is this her true feelings or is it mine?
"Ha… Hahahaha."
I couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. How could I think of such thoughts? Why would I long for something that wasn't mine? In fact, why would I long for something I never had? These are clearly Meg's emotions.
Her soul may be different, but the body still remembers. Yeah, that must be it. No, that should be it.
A sharp pang jolted my head. I clutched it tightly and groaned. My head's been killing me ever since I left the inn. Ugh. This won't do, I need to rest.
I slept while my pain was shooting nonstop at my aching head.
*****
it was supposed to be a peaceful morning for me, but why?
"Do you plan to finally enter the society?"
I flinched when his gaze landed on my face as he drank his favorite tea. Why am I here? Who am I? How did I get caught up in a situation like this?
It was a fine morning for me, other than the fact that my throbbing head was still present. Nevertheless, I expected my day to be quiet. J was alone in my room all day and would wonder when and where would I be getting food tomorrow. It was my only problem, not until a maid came barging in my door telling me that the Duke was looking for my presence.
When I asked what the occasion was, the maid clearly said, he wanted to have tea. Tea.
Tea is fine, but I guess it wasn't what he really wanted.
"Megaria."
"N-no… My Lord. How could I dare tarnish the great house of Astral?"
I guess Kayden never ratted me out since Father never brought it up. Why, though? Was it because he felt sorry? What delusions were you thinking just now, Megaria? It's probably because he doesn't want to waste his precious saliva just to report to the duke about your little escapade.
"You will attend the Imperial Ball with Raphael."
"Yes, My Lord."
I was in a daze with my thoughts of Kayden and my reply snapped me back to reality.
"Pardon?"
How stupid can you be, Megaria? You already said yes, there's no turning back for you right now. I clenched my dress under the table. What in the world did I get myself into?
"It seems that your mind is elsewhere."
"N-no, My Lord. I will heed your orders."
I could not afford to stare at him any longer, so I chose to feast my eyes with the cold tea in front of me. Attending the Imperial Ball is not a problem but with Raphael? I can't be trusting my neck at the hands of the man who was murdering me with his gaze, now can I? If I'm going to attend, I need to be alone. Me, with Raphael will only cause headaches, I must avoid future troubles that may arise.
"My Lord, if I may be so bold. If it's alright with you, can I attend the ball, alone?"
I peeked at him but soon regretted it. I feel like his gray eyes are boring holes into my head, I could only close my eyes shut. I dare not lift my head again just to be greeted with that eyes of his.
"Why?"
Shoot. Why? I can't really tell him that I fear Raphael cutting my neck in the middle of the ball now, can I? I know he's not stupid and I know it won't happen.
Think, Megaria. Think…
"Father will be attending with Duchess Layla as such, Raphael will escort Lucy."
Yes, that's right. I forgot about that faggot for a minute.
"Hmm… Okay."
My head raised quickly, forgetting the fear that I felt earlier. I wanted to smile widely with joy but I had to stop myself if I didn't want any more trouble. my mind instantly imagined the scenarios playing, where I should hide, and when to escape from the ball. I was lost in thoughts, but my father never failed to destroy my happiness.
"You will go with Kayden."
"B-but he will be busy grooming ladies, father. He has not yet found a lover to wed."
"And so is Raphael."
"But---"
"Enough. My decision is final. You will go with, Kayden."
I don't know what happened after that nor do I know how I arrived in my room safe and sound. The only thing that was inside my head was Kayden.
As Magnus Bane says, "Regret is such a pointless emotion, don't you think?"
Yes, I do think so. I really do.
My neck has a half chance of being intact when I'm with Raphael, but I doubt my whole body would still be called a body if I'm with that walking bomb.
I drowned myself in the pillow and screamed. I should have gone with Raphael, why did I even insist on going alone? Father would never allow a lawbreaker like Megaria to roam around an imperial ball, alone. What was I even thinking?
My agony didn't last long when I heard a knock at my door.
"Come in."
The head butler, James, suddenly came into view. I sat up straight in my bed and tried to fix myself subtly.
"Speak."
"The Duke uplifted your confinement."
They say that when bad things happen, good things will surely come afterward. I guess the old saying still upholds its wisdom. Although this butler is disrespectful, formality isn't my style anyway.
"You are free to go anywhere you want, as long as a maid and a knight will accompany you."
Indeed. Happiness always comes with a price.
I don't even have a maid, how am I going to look for a knight? I bet the knights here hate me to the bones. They'll probably choose graveyard training rather than serving underneath me.
"As per the Duke's orders. Freya will be your personal maid; she will also accompany you if you wish to go outside. While Sir Michaelo will be your knight. I can guarantee their skills and they will be of great help to you, My Lady."
A woman with brown hair, brown eyes, and freckles bowed at me.
"It is my honor to serve you, My Lady."
A man whose hair was dark as night, whose eyes were hazelnut, bowed at me. He was wearing a white uniform with the family crest pinned at his left chest, and a sword at his waist.
"It is an honor, My Lady."
He was fine, not until he raised his head and met my eyes.
Sigh.
Why am I surrounded by people who want to murder me on the spot? I guess I have to carry a knight whose presence was a mix of Raphael and Kayden. Why am I so unlucky?
And the duke really thought less of me huh? One knight and a maid for the Lady of the House Astral. Wow. Well, works for me since I don't like people being glued to me 24/7.
I nod at the knight before speaking to the butler.
"Money."
"Your allowance will be delivered into your quarters in a moment. Is there something you need, My Lady?"
I waved my hand at them signaling to leave me but on the second thought….
"James, prepare me a carriage. I wish to depart at dark."
I could see his face full of questions, who wouldn't? A young Lady wanted to go outside at night instead of morning. How scandalous. But before he could ask me, I turned my back on him and dropped my body on the bed.
"Freya, fetch me food. I've been starving for almost a week now."
I could hear their footsteps retreating and soon, the door was closed. Not even a courtesy goodbye. Now, this is getting interesting and infuriating at the same time.
"What a day."