The air was slowly suffocating her. She wiped the sweat that continuously buildup in her palms every time she reached for her pen. She rose her head to the clock at the top of the board. Fifteen minutes gone. Fifteen minutes of doing nothing and fifteen minutes left to get something done or let her the fever that might lead to her worst fear take charge. Her hands and legs had weakened simultaneously leaving her heart racing fast and breath uncontrollable. She turned back but he wasn't there . His seat was still vacant and there was no way he would be coming to her rescue. The proctor caught her staring back and warned. It was the last warning . Why can't she accept he won't be coming. She thought . The proctor walked passed her and she quickly grabbed her pen but the moment she planted her eyes on the paper in front of her she froze.
Had she been studying rather than sucking in secret in the library every evening, she probably would have been writing something down on the exam sheet. After the break up with Hassan , her whole life seemed to had broken up with her too. She 'd fallen ill . Unpaid bills kept flooding in. Her apartment was up for rent and she landed at May and Cass place for help. Although they took her in their lifestyle isn't helping. Most times they hosted party at their apartment other nights they were out partying. And May seems too occupied by her boyfriend to notice Connie was breaking.
Every time she looked at into her books the blurring colour of her textbooks stared back . Her heart skipped because it was happening again with the paper in front of her. Her brain had decided to freeze and her eyes wasn't helping as tears had already covered them.
"Time's up!"
Every one stopped writing and started to walk out. The flood she had been trying to stop quietly flowed from her eyes as everyone was leaving the hall. The proctor turned to her but she quickly wiped her face dry. For the first time in a long time she felt like a failure. She walked out hopelessly.
Outside the school premises was another planet. The fresh air gush in to her nostrils almost as quickly as the aroma of the roasted chicken and fish at the corner made her turn.
" Hey Connie ! How you doing girl?" Gary the guy at the barbeque stand asked.
" Bad." She replied and wished he didn't asked. She touched the pocket of her skirt and stopped.
" Why ? Had a bad day at school?" She instantly dropped her hand and turned to walk away . Gary noticed. " Exams huh?. "
She turned. She felt like her skin was peeling from her body after his last questions. Irritated she looked up at the blue sky. " Seems like we might be seeing more often".
To her surprise he reluctantly agreed. " Not bad though."
F*ck . She glared at him like he 'd shot a bullet at her. She felt horrible. " Hope you know that I will miss my chances of getting a scholarship Gary." Gary paused. He turned with the chicken he was wrapping to give Connie who was far gone.
"Too bad."
Connie walked to her friends' apartment with two options. Either she goes back to her grandmother and learn a skill or better still go to her aunt in LA and play the nice girl for a while and start over there. She wasn't sure she wanted to go back. She had always wanted to go far from home and do things on her own with out her two families.
A knock on the door and it opened. May stood in door way with her small body . A short , pettish Britain- American girl. She looked good on her new hair and she knew.
" How do I look girl? Cass said I am a killer....." She incoherently blab out . Connie walked in with out a word . She crashed on the couch in the living room.
" Girl tell me it's a lie." Cass walked to the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water. " You need it." She gave her one and without any objection Conn' gulped the water. She splashed some on her face and felt her temperature going down.
"I know already so don't spill it . But we are here for you girl and everything is gonna be alright . I promise." She wished May and Cass could stop talking already . It's too late already and she can't go back to change what had happened. She closed her eyes and it flashed.
Conn' hurried to her room with change to a black shorts and a pink top . She held her hair in a ponytail and dragged herself out of the room. " Where are you up to." Cass with the sharp eyes asked and May turned to look at Conn' whose hand was already on the door knob .
" Ali wasn't didn't take the exams. I just want to go check on him . " May had the disapproval look on her face so Conn' turned to Cass and she smiled and matched out. She needed a good vibe now and the two ladies were not. She missed him . Same time she longed for his brother. Till now she still think she might had taken the wrong step by walking away . She still hadn't forgotten him and might never do. But he didn't fight for their relationship. He did not even ask her to rethink her decision but rather quickly embraced the break up idea she brought up. Her heart clenched the last time she saw him. Buried in bed with another woman on top of him and another old touching him like her life É—epended on it was the most despicable act she had ever seen. She had ran out without him knowing she ever seen him in an act like that . Hopelessly she still yearn for him even though things might never be the same.